A Lesson in Humility

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day on this beautiful Friday evening! Only 13 days until Christmas!

This week I got a great lesson in humility.

On Tuesday morning I posted the following on Facebook:
"Always remember that your greatness as a leader will not be determined by how much power you accumulate. It will be determined by how much you serve and sacrifice for others to help them become great. Great leaders don't succeed because they are great. They succeed because they bring out the greatness in others." - Jon Gordon, The Carpenter

That evening when I got on Facebook there was a notification that a dear, sweet friend, someone I value and cherish greatly, had posted a comment. I went to read it and it said:
"You!"

I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say or do so I typed:
"You are far too kind Friend!"

That was it. Went on about my night and everything was fine...or so I thought. The next morning I swear it was like my daily workout partner, Jesus, was sitting on the treadmill waiting for me to get there! As soon as I uttered my first word in prayer that exchange was immediately on my heart and mind. It didn't feel right. I talked to God about, listed, talked some more, listened a whole lot more...you get the point!

Ultimately the lesson I learned, what convicted my Spirit greatly, was the fact that when I said "You are far too kind Friend!" I was essentially taking the credit for anything that has been done in me or through me. I might as well had said, "Yeah, ain't I something?!?!" My heart hurt. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I asked God to forgive me, and then I asked Him to forgive me again. I am sure had you been watching me on the treadmill the whole sight was pretty amusing. At one point I caught myself raising my arms to the side as I plead with God, "Please forgive me for this." And then He reminded me, once - ONCE! - I asked for forgiveness it was forgiven. Once! Dang these lessons/reminders keep coming at me fast and furious.

The act of true repentance requires an action. I can't say, "Lord, I am so sorry" and then keep doing the same thing...this would not be true repentance. Merriam-Webster online defines the verb repent "to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life." The Lord and I spent the rest of my workout talking about how I was going to make this right and, how with His leading, guiding & direction, I would handle these types of things in the future.

You see, for me to say "you are far too kind" I was maximizing me and minimizing God. If I tried to do this -  my life - by myself she would have never made the comment because I would be following my own selfish wants, needs & desires. It is only through the work that God has done in me that even created the relationship with her in the first place where she would have it on her heart to say "You!" You see, it isn't about me, it is about God and the Holy Spirit being alive in me and allowing Him to touch other lives through me. Period! John 3:30 says, "He must increase but I must decrease." I love that verse. My family loves that verse. Often, when in the Haslam household, if you ask what time it is someone is going to reply with, "3:30." It is always time for Him to increase and us to decrease. Finally I truly got it. Finally I truly understood.

As God and I talked about it I knew I need to call my sweet friend and apologize. And from this point forward when someone compliments the work that the Lord is doing in me and through me I will simply say, "Thank you, Praise the Lord." I spoke with that friend on the phone. I asked her if she saw my reply. She said, "yes." I said, "I am sorry." She said, "o.k." It was funny. She didn't ask me why I was apologizing, she didn't say I don't need to apologize. She knew I needed to apologize, she knew what I said was wrong. I then stumbled...I was finding it hard. I caught myself and said, "I simply want to say thank you, Praise the Lord." She said, "you are welcome." She showed me great mercy & grace, she forgave me. I also thanked her for giving me Happy Friday...we both laughed.

I am very thankful for this lesson. I have thought a lot about it over the course of these last few days. Most of my life I have struggled with compliments. I think I know the origins and I know, with God leading me, I can let His light shine through me. Thank you Lord and praise be to You!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Keeping It Real...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday! It is 75 degrees today on the Gulf Coast...is it really almost Christmas?!?!

You know, the whole point to "What Will Your Influence Be...?" is to encourage all of us to be intentional, to be positive with all of the people we are blessed to influence by the lives we live. Today I want to encourage us to keep it real, not trying to be perfect or pretending that we are perfect, as we live our lives.

Earlier this week I was speaking with a new Mom at work. She is going through the things all new parents go through...lack of sleep, trying to figure out what different cry's mean, trying not to get frustrated as she now realizes that her life is not just about her any more, etc. At one point I said, "you are 100% normal, we all feel the same things." Suddenly her eyes softened, her countenance changed, like a weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. We talked for quite a while about how all of us have struggles, trials, how none of us have it figured out, etc.

This morning I was listening to the radio and they were talking about a new commercial Arby's has put out. Have you seen it or heard about this? Apparently in their agreement with Pepsi, Arby's is supposed to feature Pepsi in their commercials twice per year. Apparently there was a mistake and Arby's only featured Pepsi once. Their answer? They created a commercial where they state what is listed above...that they were supposed to feature Pepsi twice, they didn't, that they had messed up. No justifications, no spin. Simply admitted that they were wrong. The announcers were talking about how people are loving this commercial because it is "different" and "so rare." Different? Honesty, integrity...they are considered different, they are considered rare. Oh goodness Friends, what has happened?

So on this Friday I want to encourage all of us to simply keep it real. You don't have to be perfect and neither do I. In fact, it is through our brokenness, through our faults & failures that we are most often able to help others. When we hide our faults & failures we create a wall that makes it difficult, perhaps impossible, to speak into the lives of people who truly need us, who would benefit greatly from our stories, from the lives we have lived.

I have great empathy for those who have lost a job, especially coaches. I have been there. I had to tell my little boy we were moving from the only home he had ever known, the place he loved. I felt the panic, the worry, of how I am I going to take care of my family? And I have felt the peace that comes from God. I have seen the redeeming work He does and my family was always taken care of...always! See, I can get down in the mud with someone going through this struggle, let them lean on me for strength for a little while, because I know it will all work out - I have lived it...twice! However for them to know this I have to share my story, I have to make myself vulnerable, I have to keep it real.

You know, none of us was ever expected to be perfect. In fact, the whole reason Jesus Christ exists is because we are all so irretrievably broken that God had to send Jesus so we could eventually make it to Heaven. He knew, despite our very best efforts, we could never make it in our own strength, courage, knowledge or wisdom. It could only be done by grace through believing in, and accepting, the Lord Jesus Christ. So if this is true in matters of eternity, why in the world do we think we can or have to be perfect in our marriages? Families? Friendships? Work? Let's just keep it real...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Integrity & Leadership

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day dawns!

I didn't get a chance to write a Happy Friday last week. I got to go to South Dakota and see Payton for the first time in 3 months! I am so blessed! Late night dinner together on Thursday once I arrived, early breakfast on Friday...he didn't complain about either and, for the most part, ignored his cell phone. If I didn't know better I might think he has missed me too!!!

Seriously, it was a great trip. I am truly honored & blessed to be Payton's Dad. We spent hours talking and of course, watching college football. I got to watch him run out onto the field for the first time as a college football player, we took a picture on the field together after the game and then we hustled up to his dorm room to watch the 4th quarter of the Arizona State/Notre Dame football game. It's funny, it is the little moments, sitting together in a little dorm room watching a football game, that are cherished and stowed away in the heart.

I have a couple of thoughts for all of my friends with kids still at home:
1. It goes so fast...cherish it. Yes, yes, I know. The days can be long, the schedules are hectic and it can all be exhausting. In a flash the time is gone. I swear I can remember clearly the moment Payton was born. All of the sudden he is 3 years old and I am walking him to Kiddy College. How in the world is he now 13 years old and I am walking with him to his first high school football practice - close enough that he knows he is safe, far enough away that I don't embarrass him? Oh goodness, he is now 18 years old and I am giving him one last hug before I leave him at college. It is amazing how quickly the time has passed. Cherish every moment friends, they are fleeting.

2. No matter their age, they still need you. Yes, the relationship changes as they become men & women however they still need you. The hard part for us as parents is to figure out what that looks like. No, they don't need us the same as adults as they did at 3 or 5 or 13 but be sure, they still need us. It is up to us as parents to figure out the new code - instead of "Dad, I am scared, hold my hand" it becomes, "you can come with me if you want" - and to adjust according to their needs. It can be so hard. When I look at Payton I don't see the man, now as tall as me, whiskers on his chin, who can now lift more weight than me...I still see the little boy. But he is not a little boy any more. He is now a man, a man who I want to be strong enough to leave home, responsible enough to take care of himself and courageous enough to pursue his hopes, goals & dreams. The challenges come when we as parents try to impose our will, to treat these precious gifts as different than they are. The relationship has changed but the need for the parents love, guidance and support has not...its just different. And let me add, every bit as joyful, fulfilling and special. When our kids leave home to carve out their special place in this world it does not mark the end of the relationship, it is simply the beginning of an exciting new chapter.  

O.K., that is not at all what I was planning for this Happy Friday so I better get to the point. This week I came across a couple of definitions when I was on the website for Apogee Physicians that I want to share with you this morning. You can read it all at http://apogeephysicians.com/cultureOurPhilo.php. I want to share these definitions, as well as a few thoughts, with you this morning.

"Integrity is the courage to stand for what you know is right, the strength to turn words into action and the conviction to see it through."

There is a whole lot packed into this beautiful sentence!

• Courage is defined as being afraid and doing something anyway. It is not the absence of fear. May we be courageous!
• "What you know is right" - there is nothing sadder, or more difficult to deal with, than violating our own spirit. When we know we should or shouldn't do something and don't follow the leading of our spirit we have failed the greatest test of integrity. My hope for us all is that we will be led by the internal moral compass!
• Words into actions..."Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you." - Arthur Gordon
• "What you do speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you say!"
• Conviction...everyone wants to "win", be successful, etc. Nobody sets out wanting to lose, to fail. How do we respond when the going gets tough, when the storms of life come? They are coming - it is not a matter of "if" but "when." Do we, will we, have the conviction to stick with it until the very end?

"Leadership is the will to give more of yourself than you receive in return. Putting the needs of others ahead of your own. An opportunity to accomplish, together with others, what would be impossible for any individual alone."

Wow! Now this is a great definition of leadership!

• Giving more of yourself than you receive in return...Completely counter to what society would tell us. Am I, are you, willing to be a leader that willingly gives more than we will ever receive in return? What would our families, our places of work look like if we truly lived this out?
• Are we strong enough to put the needs of others above our own? When is the last time we have intentionally submitted our needs, we aren't talking wants here...we are talking needs!, to the needs of others? Again, what would our lives, our world look like if we truly walked this out?
• And it closes beautifully. Leadership - selfless leadership - gives us the opportunity to accomplish things that we never would have been able to accomplish on our own.

So much to digest here. I am going to have to tape them on my computer, to keep them before me every day, that I could walk out this type of integrity & leadership.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev