Do You Believe...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as this beautiful new day, this new gift & opportunity, dawns!

This week I don't have some profound thought, some great revelation I want to share with you. No, this week I will ultimately end with a rhetorical question or two.

I want to start off by sharing two quick stories with you.

Story 1
A few months ago a man who is very dear to me was experiencing severe back pain. The pain was getting worse and worse. He went to urgent care and then ultimately ended up in the emergency room. When he finally got to a doctor we were told he was having a heart attack. He would immediately be transferred by ambulance from one hospital to another - one that specializes in cardiac care. He would be taken straight into surgery to clear the blockage. I immediately texted my prayer warriors - 4 men I immediately reach out to when prayer is needed - and asked them to pray for this man, for the doctors, for this situation. Everything went great. I thanked God.

A few weeks later the man was told their was another blockage in his heart. Everyone near him was up in arms about how the doctors could have missed this before. I prayed. I asked God for his healing, for knowledge & wisdom for the doctors. Another surgery was planned. I continued to pray. I asked others to pray for this man. The day of the surgery came, the doctors went in and...there was no blockage. I thanked God.

Story 2
On Monday Gehrig, my 15-year old Tender Warrior, took a shot to his knee during football practice. When I got home that night he told me about his injury, how it happened, how it felt, etc. I was concerned...it didn't look or sound good. My Beautiful Bride called a woman from her bible study whose husband is an Orthopedic Surgeon. Yes he saw kids, yes they take our insurance, definitely call the office first thing in the morning and they will get him in. I prayed. Gehrig went to the appointment and the doctor told us he thought he had torn his ACL. The doctor sent G to get an MRI to make sure. He got the MRI and we had an appointment scheduled for yesterday to get the results of the MRI. My wife and I prayed. We asked family and friends to pray. My mind went to next steps, how we would overcome this challenge, being brave for my boy though my own heart hurt, etc. I prayed his ACL wouldn't be torn, that the doctors would have knowledge & wisdom and, regardless of the outcome, I committed this all to Him.

G, Kath and I went to the appointment yesterday. The doctor walked in and said, "Do you believe in the power of prayer?" He then went on to explain that the results of the MRI not only showed no tear of the ACL, nothing was torn. The MCL was strained, as were some surrounding muscles, however there was no need to reconstruct anything. The feeling was quite honestly surreal.

My Bride and I had talked after the first story I shared with you. I asked her, "Where does the power of prayer fit in if we are mad, angry and/or cynical?" You see, the man and his family were mad at the doctors. "How could they miss this? How could they make this type of mistake?" But what if they didn't make a mistake? What if there really was an obstruction but God touched his heart and removed it? Are we, in our thoughts & words, leaving room for the power of prayer?

Yesterday as I drove back to work from Gehrig's appointment I felt overwhelmed. I was thoroughly convinced his ACL was torn...the doctor said he was convinced it was torn as well. And yet, there is no tear. What I had hoped for, what I had prayed for had happened and I couldn't wrap my head around it. My spirit felt peace, all I could keep saying was "thank you Lord"...overwhelmed is the only adjective I can think of at this moment.

So my rhetorical questions for all of us this morning are:
Are we leaving the door open for God to answer prayers, to perform miracles in our lives? Are we walking by faith, casting all of our cares on Him, and trusting Him? Are we putting God in a box?

I wish I could tell you that in both cases I knew everything would go as I hoped, as I prayed. I wish I could tell you that there was no worry, that my heart was never heavy. I can't tell you that because it wouldn't be true. The only thing I can honestly tell you is that I repeatedly went back to God and laid these things at His feet. Yes, I realize that the first time I took them to Him He picked them up and carried them. Going back over and over again wasn't for God, it was for me. It wasn't about Him not listening, caring, etc. It was about my weakness. My only strength is in Him and I know that.

I feel I must also touch on something else: what if these two situations hadn't gone the way I hoped, the way I prayed? The truth is Friends, I have many, many more examples in my life of the times things didn't go the way I hoped, the way I prayed. And yet I look back and in every single case God carried and delivered me, He carried and delivered my family. It wasn't always what I wanted, or what I thought I wanted, however He has always been faithful to care for my heart, for our needs...even if it didn't look the way I hoped or wanted it to look. I don't want to give the idea that "hey, pray and God will do what you say." This is not what I have found to be true in my life. What I have found however is that He will give me knowledge, wisdom & strength to make it through - through, not around - any situation and He will give peace & rest when I earnestly seek Him through the storms.

The choices about what we will believe - and therefore what we will say and do - are ours alone to make. My hope & prayer this morning is that we will believe, that we will find the faith, to leave the door open for God to answer prayers and that we will not place Him in a box.

Please let don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kevin

Tidbits

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope this post finds you all having had a great week and a great day on this beautiful Friday evening.

This week I was in Oregon all week, leaving early Monday morning and returning this afternoon. I want to share several different things with you this evening - some reflections from the road, a quote or two I came across and a few excerpts from a book I read.

Reflections From the Road
1. I had the chance to meet and visit with a remarkable elderly woman this week. She shared stories of her upbringing, stories of heartache & adversities overcome, stories of great successes and yes, stories of great failures. There was a very poignant moment, we both felt it. Her eyes misty, her heart laid open as she shared her greatest disappointments & hurts in life... She tried to apologize. She tried to make sense of it all. She was still trying to capture the right words to express it all and yet there were no words that could explain a life lived fully. I told her she didn't have to explain anything; that we are all on a life journey; that we all have things in our lives we regret, that we wish we had done differently; that all of us have great successes & failures; that some, perhaps most, try so hard to hide our faults & failures that we never really live; that her story is a beautiful story and that I was honored she shared it with me. Her face softened. She seemed to be at peace with it all. While I can never remove the hurts & pains of her heart, I did validate her as a person and I let her know that her life mattered. Isn't that really what we all want in the end - to have our thoughts & feelings validated? To know that our lives, that we, matter? I am thankful God gave me the opportunity to say these things to that sweet woman. I left that meeting with my heart feeling full.

2. Have you ever been to Oregon? Oh my gosh, I saw some of the most beautiful things God has created! If you ever get a chance, I would strongly advise a drive along Highway 138 through the Umpqua National Forest or on Highway 58 past Crescent Lake, Odell Lake & Hill Creek Lake. Yes, I drove both in the same day...a 9 hour road warrior that day! I saw the most beautiful trees, some appearing as thought they are on fire as their leaves change color with winter closing in, that day. I saw clouds kissing the tops of majestic pine trees and I also saw clouds lazily snuggling into the midsection of others. It was truly awe inspiring. I make a note to self that I have to bring my Beautiful Bride and three Tender Warriors here...they have to see this place. I thank God for creating it and for slowing me down enough to recognize and appreciate it.

3. I met with several different people throughout the course of this week. Every one of them people that society would tell you have been wildly successful. They have performed, or are currently performing, at the very heights of their professions. You know what strikes me so profoundly however? At least 95% of what they want to talk about, what they want to share, is not about the things they have accomplished, the money they have made. No, every single one of them wanted to talk about the people in their lives - their spouses - some deceased, their children, the people they worked with, the friends they made. It is a valuable lesson that I learn from teachers who have reached the heights of their professions, who are in the final laps of a race run well and I soak it all in. There are so many lessons to be learned here and I am thankful for these teachers.

4. While I enjoyed the beauty of Oregon, while I am thankful for and blessed by every person I met, nothing is quiet like home. I start driving faster as I click down to 7, 6, 5 miles to home. As soon as I park I fumble with everything as I hurriedly try to get into the house. I see my Precious Girl, give her a hug and my heart feels good, so good. My Littlest Tender Warrior runs up and gives me the greatest hug, the combination of a sweet little boy and the ruggedness of a young man, both reflecting his age of 9. We go get a bite to eat - I find myself smiling at My Girl for no reason; my little boy will touch my arm and say, "I am so glad you are home" 5 or 6 times during our meal. Yes, there is no doubt I am where I belong.

Quotes
There are two quotes I came across this week that I want to share with you. They struck me as profound, I am still pondering them.

"Titles mean nothing. The one with a servant's heart is the leader." - Unknown

 

"Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong." - Unknown

Excerpts
Finally, I want to share a few excerpts from the book The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner with you. They come from Chapter 12, Leadership Is Everyone's Business.

• Leadership is about relationships, about credibility, and about what you do. And everything you will ever do is based on one audacious assumption: that you matter.
• People are watching you, regardless of whether you know it or not. And you are having an impact on them, regardless of whether you intend to or not.
• You are accountable for the leadership you demonstrate. And because you are the most important leader to those closest to you, you have to decide how good a leader you want to be.
• It's what you do with what you have before you die that makes the difference.
• Although leadership can be learned, not everyone wants to learn it, and not all those who learn about leadership master it. Why? Because becoming the very best requires having a strong desire to excel, a strong belief that new skills and abilities can be learned, and a willing devotion to deliberate practice and continuous learning. No matter how good you are, you have to always want to be better. The truth is that the best leaders are the best learners.
• Exemplary leaders know that "you can't do it alone," and they act accordingly. They lack the pride and pretense displayed by many leaders who succeed in the short term but leave behind a weak organization that fails to remain viable after their departure. Instead, with self-effacing humor, deep listening to those around them, and generous and sincere credit to others, humble leaders realize higher and higher levels of performance.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Leading by Example

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you.

Earlier this week I read an article titled 10 things that we hate about bad 'leaders' by Naomi Simson. In the article she had a part subtitled What to do to lead by example. I wanted to share these things with you, as well as a few thoughts about each.

What to do to lead by example.

"1. Do what you say you are going to do - always."
Please note that always is measurable. Either you do it or you don't. If we don't do something one time - regardless of the reason or dare I say, excuse - we have not met the standard of always.

I am going to share a story that illustrates this point perfectly. A little more than 15 years ago I was the Head Football Coach at Wayne State College and my Beautiful Bride was pregnant with what would be our second Tender Warrior. I woke up at about 2:15 a.m. on Friday, October 8th and Kath was sitting out on the couch. She told me contractions had started. We were going to have our baby at a hospital about 45 minutes from where we lived. Plans were in place for everything - who would come watch Payton, who would handle what responsibilities with the football team at our game on Saturday, etc. Before we left the house I gave Payton - 3 years old at the time - a hug and told him I would call him later that day. We went to the hospital...and waited...and waited...and waited. It was a blur of doctors in and out. Talking to family, friends, coaches. Finally, a little after 3:00 a.m. on Saturday, October 9th God blessed us with Gehrig. Somewhere around 5:00 a.m. Kath told me I should go to the game. After arguing the point, unsuccessfully from my point, I got in the car, drove back to Wayne, hoped in the car with our Sports Information Director and rode the 6 hours to our game in Minnesota. I slept most of the way. We got to the stadium right as the team bus was arriving, we played the game, I hoped on the bus with the team, once we got back to Wayne I hoped in my car, drove right back to the hospital, went to the nursery and got my precious baby and held him on my chest. I then fell asleep on the floor of My Brides hospital room knowing that I was truly a man blessed beyond measure.

Now in all that, did you catch what I did not do? Yeah, I did not call Payton. He is now 18-years old, a freshman in college and he still remembers that I did not call him like I told him I would. Do I have excuses, reasons whey I didn't call? Sure, plenty of them. The reality at the end of the day however is I told I little boy that I would do something and I didn't. I didn't honor always...and it matters.

"2. Acknowledge authentically what you don't know."
Why do we think we have to know everything? We all know that nobody knows everything and yet when it comes to us we feel like we have to know everything. How silly is this? It is o.k. to not know everything and it actually builds trust to acknowledge when we don't. To pure-heartedly state that we don't know something, that we are open to the knowledge, wisdom & guidance of others builds trust, helps the team - be it a corporate or family team - perform at a higher level and it helps us learn & grow as leaders.

"3. Be accountable and take responsibility."
These two words can make us feel so uneasy. It is really interesting how leaders are great at telling us we are going to be held accountable to some matrix or job expectation. When we talk about the accountability or responsibility of the leaders however you find very few who want to stand and say, "yes, I am accountable, I am responsible" unless of course the outcome is wildly successful. The reality as a leader of anything is you are accountable and responsible first and foremost to those you are privileged to lead, and then for the outcomes. You can try to avoid your accountability and responsibility if you want however please know that you are crippling your influence as a leader .

"4. Listen deeply and wait for people to finish when they are speaking."
We all want to know that our thoughts, our ideas and our feelings matter. The way we communicate this most effectively is truly listening to others. Have you ever talked to someone who is fiddling with their cell phone or looking at their computer screen? How important did you feel? Did you feel like you mattered or that they cared what you had to say? No, I didn't either. Let us really seek to understand what others are trying to communicate, to hear their thoughts, ideas & feelings fully before we feel the need to share ours.

"5. Be present always in the company of others."
 In one of his books John C. Maxwell talks about putting a 10 on everyone's head - treating everyone as if they are the most important person in the world. If we are going to be great leaders we need to be fully present at all times regardless of the situation we are in. If you have 4 meetings back to back to back to back, be fully present in each of those meetings and watch how your leadership, your influence, changes with each of those groups individually. Look at it this way, every interaction you have with someone is the most important interaction to them. They don't care about how many meetings you have had, your pressing deadlines or concerns, they only care about that time with you, the agenda for that time. And know this, they will never forget how you made them feel.

"6. Know that all people are equal and have a contribution to make."
Every life has value, meaning & purpose. Your title does not define you and others titles do not define them. The only area in which leaders and followers are not equal is in the areas of accountability & responsibility; the leaders are the one's to be held accountable & responsible - for the health, growth & productivity of their people, for the outcomes of the team. Blur the lines of titles, listen to the thoughts, ideas & feelings of others and watch your leadership flourish.

"7. Create an environment where everyone can contribute."
This is what leaders do - we create the environments, the cultures in which our teams, our families, will function. It is our responsibility to make sure it is an environment were everyone feels valued, where everyone can contribute. If we don't find our environments facilitating this, we need to look at our words and our actions. It is on us.

"8. Always talk as a team, act as a coach."
You have heard the expression before; "there is no I in team." As the leaders this starts with us. Our thoughts, words & actions - one follows the other in the order listed - need to be in terms of team. "We" and "us" need to replace "I", "Me" and "them." It is our responsibility as leaders to coach our teams - to generally care about them - individually and as a whole, to teach them and to pour into them selflessly.

"9. Have a deep sense of appreciation - and thank people regularly."
No matter who you are, you cannot do it alone. Recognize the work, the efforts of others. Recognize the simple and the complex. Be genuinely grateful for the service of others. This one starts one step before thoughts, it starts in the heart. Appreciation, genuine appreciation for others, starts at the heart level. It then goes to the thoughts, the words and the actions. Look around you Friend, there is an awful lot to appreciate. Communicate those things.

"10. Lead by example, do the work, persist, and encourage others."
In a nut-shell, be all that you want and expect your team to be. You want your son or daughter to respect others? Then you respect others. You want your team to work hard? Then you work hard. You want others to keep going when things are tough? Then you keep going when things are challenging. You want to be encouraged? Then encourage others.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev