Be There...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day and an awesome week on this beautiful Friday evening! It was a beautiful, cool, rainy day on the Gulf!

There are two things on my heart this evening that I want to share with you.

1. On Wednesday morning one of the quotes I posted on Facebook was, "When you are available, opportunities to be of service to others present themselves" by Jon Gordon. I truly had no idea how God was preparing my heart.

I had a short meeting right at 8:15 a.m. As soon as I got to my office one of my colleagues said, "Kevin, can I ask a favor of you?" I immediately said, "yes, anything." She explained that one of our co-workers brothers had been in a very serious car accident, he had been airlifted to the hospital and she wanted me to please pray for the family. I said I would and went into my office and prayed. I then asked if she knew what hospital he had been airlifted to as we have a hospital where I work. She stated she didn't know what hospital he was sent to, that she would text our co-worker and find out and let me know. It took me about a minute and I decided I didn't care; I was going to go over to the Emergency Room regardless and, if I was wrong, the worst that had happened was I had a walk. Just as I was walking out the door my colleague confirmed that our co-worker was at our hospital waiting in the Emergency Room for her brother.

When I got to the Emergency Room our co-worker wasn't there as they had moved her to a private, family consultation room. I spoke to the receptionist, told her who I was, explained that my co-worker was in the private consultation room and I asked if she could please take me to go see her, explaining that I didn't want her to be alone. As long as I live I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face the moment I opened that door and walked in. There was this look of...peace, relief. She wasn't alone anymore. There is nothing special about me - I have worked here, we have known each other, less than 6 months. The point was someone cared, someone was there. I was just privileged, in this case, to be that someone. I gave her a big hug and we sat down and talked and talked and talked. We talked about family, we talked about life, we talked about her brother, we talked about his accident. We laughed. We spoke somberly. She very intentionally told me she didn't want to cry - I assured her it was o.k. to cry - because she said she wouldn't be able to stop. We spent nearly 2 hours together before I went back to my office.

Being there for someone doesn't have to be about some great big grand event. We so often associate these things with traumatic incidents however just as the pebble in the shoe causes greater problems on the journey than the bolder in the path, I would offer that it is the daily struggles, the daily grind, that wears on the heart, soul & spirit and impacts the life journey. You never know the impact of a simple smile, a kind word, the smallest act might have on the life of another. I promise you that each one of us every single day pass people who are hurting, suffering, struggling with something. You and I are aren't we? Why do we think they are any different? We get so caught up in our stuff that we forget that everyone has stuff. If we will just lift our eyes a little, if we will just notice the person there, say hi, offer a helping hand, open a door, it really doesn't matter, just be there. I promise you, you will be pouring powerful, life giving encouragement into the heart, soul & spirit of another. We may never know the impact of that small gesture, however I can assure you it has the potential to reverberate through eternity. Why don't we just do our part, be there, and let God do His?

2. This next part is for all the parents, especially Dads, out there. I talk to many of you about the honor, the responsibility, the challenges & the struggles of being a Dad. This was a good one...sure you will enjoy it and, consider yourselves warned!! (I hope it sounds as cryptic as intended) :)

It was time for Payton to come home for Christmas. It is 1,367.08 miles (yes, exactly!!!) from Spearfish, SD to League City, TX. The plan was I would fly up to Rapid City, Payton would pick me up at the airport and then he and I would take 2 days to drive home. That WAS the plan. Then Payton called me and said, "Dad, I have been thinking about it and there is no reason for you to fly up here. I can do this by myself." Gulp! Gulp!! Gulp!!! He was respectfully asking for permission...and I had no clue what to say in the moment. I told him I would think about it and get back to him. Holy Smokes!!!

I spoke to my Beautiful Bride about it and I prayed about it...a lot!! As much as I wanted to be able to say no, there was a peace in my spirit about him doing this by himself. Also, I always tell him I believe in him, now he was giving me an opportunity to prove it. Gulp! Even after coming to this conclusion I waited a couple of days to tell him...you know, in case God wanted to change His mind!!!

So the plan was set, he would make the drive by himself. Had the whole route charted out, hotels reserved...we are set. A storm blows through SD and NE so his departure is delayed from Tuesday until Wednesday. He doesn't like waiting a day however he honors his Dad...I hope I grow up to be the man he is becoming. I should mention that from the time we decided he would make this drive by himself until the actual day of departure was a little more than 3 weeks. You can bet everything you have, as well as everything you might ever have, that I prayed my teeth off every single day, multiple times during the day, when I got up to go to the bathroom at night - possibly too much information but it is true!!! So on Wednesday, yes the same Wednesday mentioned in the story above...think about that!!!, my boy set out by himself for a 1,367.08 mile journey by himself.

Day 1 was pretty uneventful and, as he texted me repeatedly...I am sure when getting gas & not driving!, he was a stud. Yesterday brought something a little bit different. The first text I received yesterday morning was "it snowed here last night." Gulp! My reply was, "No way!!! How much?" O.K., I have no idea how much it snowed, I have no idea what the roads look like, I have no basis for making a decision about what to do next. You got this, right Lord? My boy and I talk about being smart, if the roads are too bad don't go, I trust you and I love you. Oh Lord, guard my heart! He takes off. Right around 8:30 I get a call. "Dad, just had the scariest moment of my life. I was passing a semi, hit a bunch of snow, the car spun and I ended up in the median. I can't believe it, I didn't hit a sign or anything." Gulp! Thank you Lord for protecting him. Think! Think! The first thing I say is, "Don't tell your Mom about this until you get here." First thought that came to my mind!! I then tell him to be smart, I tell him staying behind semis when driving through snow is a good thing, just take your time, etc. I pray again...I did this several times during the day. About an hour after "the moment" I am going to a meeting. I decide to give him a call real quick to check in before my meeting. He doesn't answer. Oh Lord! I pray as I walk to the meeting. I give it all to God again. I ask Him to guard my heart. I decide to try calling one more time before my meeting starts. My boy cheerfully answers the phone, "What's up Bro?!" I tell him I had tried to call and he didn't answer. He says he knows, he was talking to his girlfriend. What?!?! Are you kidding me?!?! We go over protocol for the rest of the trip when Dad calls.

A little after 9:15 last night the front door flew open and my boy said, "What's up fam?!" My heart really did jump for joy. We all hugged, talked, hugged some more...it was an amazing feeling. We told Mom about "the moment"...it was a good decision to wait!

Two lessons were learned:
1. I had no choice but to surrender it all to God. Once the decision was made to let him drive by himself there was nothing I could do for him. To surrender it all, to trust God...I grew a lot. I really can't tell you that I enjoyed it all. I can tell you that I had to intentionally pursue Him, to push the negativity out of my mind, to give my worries & fears to Him. Certain I had sought His counsel, He delivered. Thank you Lord.

2. My boy, the one who will one day have a wife to love, respect, honor & protect, who will have children, my grandchildren, to lead, to encourage, to protect, to help find their individual greatness, just found out he can do something that he didn't know if he could do. He faced his fears, his worries, he prayed and God protected him. He grew, another step in launching a Tender Warrior.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Lesson in Humility

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day on this beautiful Friday evening! Only 13 days until Christmas!

This week I got a great lesson in humility.

On Tuesday morning I posted the following on Facebook:
"Always remember that your greatness as a leader will not be determined by how much power you accumulate. It will be determined by how much you serve and sacrifice for others to help them become great. Great leaders don't succeed because they are great. They succeed because they bring out the greatness in others." - Jon Gordon, The Carpenter

That evening when I got on Facebook there was a notification that a dear, sweet friend, someone I value and cherish greatly, had posted a comment. I went to read it and it said:
"You!"

I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say or do so I typed:
"You are far too kind Friend!"

That was it. Went on about my night and everything was fine...or so I thought. The next morning I swear it was like my daily workout partner, Jesus, was sitting on the treadmill waiting for me to get there! As soon as I uttered my first word in prayer that exchange was immediately on my heart and mind. It didn't feel right. I talked to God about, listed, talked some more, listened a whole lot more...you get the point!

Ultimately the lesson I learned, what convicted my Spirit greatly, was the fact that when I said "You are far too kind Friend!" I was essentially taking the credit for anything that has been done in me or through me. I might as well had said, "Yeah, ain't I something?!?!" My heart hurt. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I asked God to forgive me, and then I asked Him to forgive me again. I am sure had you been watching me on the treadmill the whole sight was pretty amusing. At one point I caught myself raising my arms to the side as I plead with God, "Please forgive me for this." And then He reminded me, once - ONCE! - I asked for forgiveness it was forgiven. Once! Dang these lessons/reminders keep coming at me fast and furious.

The act of true repentance requires an action. I can't say, "Lord, I am so sorry" and then keep doing the same thing...this would not be true repentance. Merriam-Webster online defines the verb repent "to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life." The Lord and I spent the rest of my workout talking about how I was going to make this right and, how with His leading, guiding & direction, I would handle these types of things in the future.

You see, for me to say "you are far too kind" I was maximizing me and minimizing God. If I tried to do this -  my life - by myself she would have never made the comment because I would be following my own selfish wants, needs & desires. It is only through the work that God has done in me that even created the relationship with her in the first place where she would have it on her heart to say "You!" You see, it isn't about me, it is about God and the Holy Spirit being alive in me and allowing Him to touch other lives through me. Period! John 3:30 says, "He must increase but I must decrease." I love that verse. My family loves that verse. Often, when in the Haslam household, if you ask what time it is someone is going to reply with, "3:30." It is always time for Him to increase and us to decrease. Finally I truly got it. Finally I truly understood.

As God and I talked about it I knew I need to call my sweet friend and apologize. And from this point forward when someone compliments the work that the Lord is doing in me and through me I will simply say, "Thank you, Praise the Lord." I spoke with that friend on the phone. I asked her if she saw my reply. She said, "yes." I said, "I am sorry." She said, "o.k." It was funny. She didn't ask me why I was apologizing, she didn't say I don't need to apologize. She knew I needed to apologize, she knew what I said was wrong. I then stumbled...I was finding it hard. I caught myself and said, "I simply want to say thank you, Praise the Lord." She said, "you are welcome." She showed me great mercy & grace, she forgave me. I also thanked her for giving me Happy Friday...we both laughed.

I am very thankful for this lesson. I have thought a lot about it over the course of these last few days. Most of my life I have struggled with compliments. I think I know the origins and I know, with God leading me, I can let His light shine through me. Thank you Lord and praise be to You!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Keeping It Real...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday! It is 75 degrees today on the Gulf Coast...is it really almost Christmas?!?!

You know, the whole point to "What Will Your Influence Be...?" is to encourage all of us to be intentional, to be positive with all of the people we are blessed to influence by the lives we live. Today I want to encourage us to keep it real, not trying to be perfect or pretending that we are perfect, as we live our lives.

Earlier this week I was speaking with a new Mom at work. She is going through the things all new parents go through...lack of sleep, trying to figure out what different cry's mean, trying not to get frustrated as she now realizes that her life is not just about her any more, etc. At one point I said, "you are 100% normal, we all feel the same things." Suddenly her eyes softened, her countenance changed, like a weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. We talked for quite a while about how all of us have struggles, trials, how none of us have it figured out, etc.

This morning I was listening to the radio and they were talking about a new commercial Arby's has put out. Have you seen it or heard about this? Apparently in their agreement with Pepsi, Arby's is supposed to feature Pepsi in their commercials twice per year. Apparently there was a mistake and Arby's only featured Pepsi once. Their answer? They created a commercial where they state what is listed above...that they were supposed to feature Pepsi twice, they didn't, that they had messed up. No justifications, no spin. Simply admitted that they were wrong. The announcers were talking about how people are loving this commercial because it is "different" and "so rare." Different? Honesty, integrity...they are considered different, they are considered rare. Oh goodness Friends, what has happened?

So on this Friday I want to encourage all of us to simply keep it real. You don't have to be perfect and neither do I. In fact, it is through our brokenness, through our faults & failures that we are most often able to help others. When we hide our faults & failures we create a wall that makes it difficult, perhaps impossible, to speak into the lives of people who truly need us, who would benefit greatly from our stories, from the lives we have lived.

I have great empathy for those who have lost a job, especially coaches. I have been there. I had to tell my little boy we were moving from the only home he had ever known, the place he loved. I felt the panic, the worry, of how I am I going to take care of my family? And I have felt the peace that comes from God. I have seen the redeeming work He does and my family was always taken care of...always! See, I can get down in the mud with someone going through this struggle, let them lean on me for strength for a little while, because I know it will all work out - I have lived it...twice! However for them to know this I have to share my story, I have to make myself vulnerable, I have to keep it real.

You know, none of us was ever expected to be perfect. In fact, the whole reason Jesus Christ exists is because we are all so irretrievably broken that God had to send Jesus so we could eventually make it to Heaven. He knew, despite our very best efforts, we could never make it in our own strength, courage, knowledge or wisdom. It could only be done by grace through believing in, and accepting, the Lord Jesus Christ. So if this is true in matters of eternity, why in the world do we think we can or have to be perfect in our marriages? Families? Friendships? Work? Let's just keep it real...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev