Be a Palm

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday morning in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

It may be Friday, but Sunday is coming!!!

 

This morning, I want to briefly share a few things.

 

1.      On this Good Friday, I want to share a quote from my morning devotional:

“It was not nails that held Jesus to that wretched cross; it was his unqualified resolution, out of love for his Father, to do his Father’s will – and it was his love for sinners like me.” – D. A. Carson

I feel so compelled to share Luke 22: 41 – 44. The next time you and I don’t “feel like” doing something for someone, loving the unlovable, etc., I pray that we will remember this scripture.

Luke 22:41-44

41 He [Jesus] withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” 43 An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

 

2.     Earlier this week, I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Joel Osteen titled, Ready To Rise. A section on the palm tree was so powerful to me. I want to share the excerpt from that portion of the sermon with you. You can listen to the full sermon or read the transcript on the Sermons Love website here: https://sermons.love/joel-osteen/6275-joel-osteen-ready-to-rise.html

 

Like a Palm Tree in the Storm

A few years back we had a big hurricane here in Houston. I noticed all the different kinds of trees that were blown down: huge oak trees that were 3 or 4 feet around; I saw pine trees over a hundred feet tall laying in yard after yard—big trees, small trees; none of them could withstand the hurricane-force winds.

 

There was only one type of tree that wasn’t blown down—it was the palm tree. It’s because God designed the palm to withstand the storm. Unlike most other trees the palm is able to bend, so it doesn’t break.

 

Bend But Don’t Break

A certain kind of palm can bend all the way over to where the top is almost touching the ground. During the hurricane it may stay that way for 3 or 4 hours all bent over; looks like it’s done, but when the wind dies down, when the storm is over it stands right back up to where it was before.

 

All these other trees down on the ground—what’s the difference? God put bounce back in the palm tree. It may get pushed over, but it’s only temporary.

 

Psalm 92:12 says: “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree.” The reason God chose a palm and not oaks or pines is He knew we would go through storms; He knew things would try to push us down and keep us from our destiny. So He said: “I’m gonna make you like a palm tree. I’m going to put bounce back in your spirit”.

 

Stronger After the Storm

And you may go through difficulties: a loss, a disappointment, but at some point the winds will stop; the storms will pass and like that palm tree you’ll come right back up. You may be bent over now; you’re facing challenges; thoughts are telling you: “It’s never going to work out"—get ready to rise; you have bounce back power.

 

When that storm is over you’re not going to be laying down: defeated, beat up—you’re gonna rise up healthy, blessed, prosperous. You’re not going to look like what you’ve been through; nobody is going to be able to tell that you even had that difficulty.

 

The Storm Strengthens You

What I love about God is He doesn’t just bring you through the storm; He makes the enemy pay for bringing the trouble. When the palm tree has been bent over during the hurricane, you would think that’s damaging the tree and making it weaker. But research shows just the opposite—when the tree is being pushed over and stretched by the winds, that’s strengthening the root system and giving it new opportunities for growth.

 

When the palm tree straightens back up after the storm, it’s actually stronger than it was before. When you come out of that storm, when you straighten back up you’re not going to be the same—you’re going to be stronger, healthier, better off, ready for new growth.

 

3.     Last weekend, my Beautiful Bride and I watched I Can Only Imagine 2. It is such a great movie and I strongly recommend it to all of you! I will never listen to the song, Even If, the same again.

 

During the movie, there is a scene where Bart Millard, the lead singer for Mercy Me, is talking to his wife about their son. He says something like, “I didn’t have a Dad who was an example. I don’t know what to do.” His wife said something like, “Don’t quit trying.” I, almost involuntarily, said, “That is my testimony!”

 

To all Dads out there, whether you had a father in your life or not, whether your father was a good or bad example, I pray and I beg you to do two things:

 

a.     Show Up…Every day! Truly, I don’t care if you feel like it or not! It is not about you! It is about the precious soul entrusted to you! More than anything, they want and need you! Fully present. Yes, some days you won’t have your “A Game.” None of us has our “A Game” every day…show up! Whether it is convenient or not, show up!

b.     Fight for your relationship with your child. I promise you, they are not your enemy. They are a great gift from God to love, lead, and care for. And I think we would be wise to be mindful of two things: 1) He is going to take them back someday, and 2) You and I are going to give an account to Him for how well we loved, led, and cared for these great blessings!

 

No, you will not get it right all the time. I truly feel like I got it wrong a whole lot more than I got it right. There were so many mornings when I poured out my heart to the Lord, begging Him to forgive my failures, and anxiously waiting for my little boys to get up so I could apologize to them, ask for their forgiveness, and hug them. The goal was never to be right; it was to love, lead, and care for my boys as God has called me to do. Those little boys are now big, strong men. I still don’t get it right all the time; however, I can state without hesitation that each one of my boys knows that I love them unconditionally, that I am always here for them, and that I would do anything I can to help them.

 

Please, fight for your relationship with your kids. They may act like they don’t care, ignore you, etc. Don’t believe them. Keep showing up. Have tough skin. Love the unlovable – they are the ones that need it the most! The goal is not to be right or to win; it is to have a relationship with your child.

 

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for any of you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

 

Kev

Held in God’s Hands: A Mother’s Faith through Service and Sacrifice. Embracing an Empty Nest. Leaving a Legacy Marriage.

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday morning in my Sweet Home Alabama!

You all are in for a real treat this morning! My Beautiful Bride, Kathy, shares a beautiful testimony of faith, hope, and love. There are great nuggets of wisdom for all of us throughout this heartfelt message. Enjoy!

BUCKLE UP! I have a lot on my mind.

 

I believe a mom is one of the greatest callings God can give a woman, and I truly believe the most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your home. Being a mother means your heart is no longer your own: it wanders wherever your children are, no matter their age.

 

The past two years have been a time of strength I never knew I had, of praying on my knees, of growth in all areas, of learning about a faith I never knew I had as I became a military mom, not to just one son, but two. I have learned that being in this role sure does carry a unique weight, one that stretches the heart in ways I never could have imagined.

 

As a mom of two sons serving in the military, I live in great pride and quiet surrender.  Pride in the men that have become, and learning to surrender to a mighty God who holds them when I cannot. Truly, I am incredibly proud of my three boys. I am proud of them not for what they do right, or because they earned it. I am proud of them because they are mine. God entrusted them to me, and love is woven into my soul.

 

I know my three boys are a gift from the Lord. I prayed over them as babies, asking God to guide their lives for His purpose, their steps, shape their character, and now I am watching their lives unfold. This is not always easily done, but always faithfully done. To be honest, I struggle. It's part of letting them go and watching their prayers, their hopes, their dreams unfold is the best blessing. 

 

There is something sacred and honoring about watching your children step into a calling that requires courage, discipline, and sacrifice. They have chosen a path that demands much of them, and in turn, it asks much of me, too. There are days when I miss them deeply, when the silence feels louder than it should, and when my heart aches just to hug them again. In those moments, I am reminded that they were never truly mine to keep – they were always His.

 

Being a military mom has also taught me the power of prayer like never before. I pray for their safety, leadership, friendships, families, and faith. I did gain a beautiful daughter-in-love two years ago. I pray they will stand firm in who they are and whose they are. I ask God to surround them with His protection and peace, even in the unknown. This applies to all three of my boys.

 

My faith has become my anchor. I am learning to trust God in a deeper way than ever before, to release my fears into His hands, and to believe that He goes before them wherever they are sent. Boy, that is heavy. When I don’t know the details, I rest in the truth that God does. When I feel helpless, I lean into His strength. Scripture is more than words; it is my lifeline… “The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121:8 I hold tight to that promise. I lay them at the Cross every day, and there are days I want to pick them back up.

 

This journey isn’t always easy, but it is deeply meaningful. It has drawn me closer to God and reminded me that even in the hardest seasons, He is always at work. I am a mom of three boys, a military mom, but more than that, I am a mother held by His faith, trusting the One who holds my boys in His care.

 

I am going to pivot now. Hang tight! After already entrusting my two boys to the Lord as they stepped into military life, I thought my heart had learned what it meant to let go – but this goodbye felt different. My middle son, my last to leave, had moved back home for a year and was now pulling out of the driveway, and I stood there watching him drive away for his new adventure. Going back into the house felt still in a way it never had before. Yet even in the ache, I felt God gently reminding me that this, too, was part of His plan. The same faithful hands that carried his brothers into their calling were now guiding him into his own. As the truck disappeared from sight, I whispered a prayer – not just of protection, but of trust – knowing that while my home was no longer full in the same way, my heart was still anchored in a God who goes with each of my boys wherever they go.

 

While I may not be beside them in their daily lives, I know that God is. He is closer than any distance, stronger than any fear, and faithful beyond measure. As parents, we are in a season that calls for wisdom and courage as we release our children into adulthood. As much as we love them, it is not healthy for our grown children to remain in our home. There is a natural, God-designed transition into independence. Allowing our children to step out, take on responsibility, and build their own lives is part of loving them well. It teaches them to trust God for themselves, to stand firm in their own faith, and to grow into who He has called them to be. As Pastor Josh Lipscomb of Liberty Church in Pensacola said, “Our children need their own revelation of Jesus.” I will add that they also need their own revelation to find their purpose and what it means to become an adult.

 

Now, to my marriage: as the days and years unfold, and the house grows quieter, I begin to realize that what we have been building was never just a family – it was also a marriage meant to last beyond the raising of our children. This, my friends, I believe, is the best gift we can give to our children. What remains now is the covenant that Kevin and I made before God. A good marriage in this season just doesn’t happen. We have had storms, but we continually choose each other and lay each other at the Cross every day. We have forgiven when we are hurt, been patient when we are tired, and shown grace when we didn’t always get it right. God never intended for our marriage to revolve solely around our children. They are a gift, a calling, and a season. Our spouse is always meant to be our lifelong partner and calling. When Christ remains at the center, even in the transition of an empty nest, the bond only strengthens. Kevin and I continue to keep God the center. Our faith-filled marriage after our children are gone is a testimony. It shows them that love rooted in Christ endures, that commitment is not seasonal. We lean in, hand in hand, trusting the same God who walked us through the chaos of raising three boys will walk us into this next chapter with purpose, joy, and a renewed love for one another. This new season is not a loss; it's an invitation to rediscover one another. My prayer is to embrace who we are now and our new journey. Do we get this right all the time?  Heck no, but we are Christians under construction until we take our last breath. As Kevin has always taught me, I will strive to fight for our marriage and to love unconditionally, even when I struggle.

 

Our lives look different now, our family looks different now, but I am determined to love and embrace every season. I encourage you all to do the same because I promise you the days are long, but the years are short. Your children are going to leave you; you want them to, but embrace every season and keep your marriage strong.

 

In closing, my door and my heart will always be open. My role has shifted as a mom. I am now an encourager, a prayer warrior, and a safe place to land when needed, rather than the center of their daily lives. You too, Dad. To my three boys, turn to Him always, and return with Honor.

 

I love you all until the day I take my last breath-

Mom/Kathy

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will alway help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, be kind, cherish your precious family, and please stay well!

Kev

Be Kind

Happy Friday, Friends:

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday morning in My Sweet Home Alabama!

 

Are you nice? Are you kind? Do you know the difference? Does it matter if you are nice or kind?

 

The difference between these two has been bouncing around in my mind for a while, so I decided to learn more. I found a wonderful article on Forbes.com titled Why You Should Learn To Differentiate Between Nice And Kind. It was written by Svetlana Whitener and published on Aug 29, 2023. I am going to share excerpts; however, you can read the full article here: https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2023/08/29/why-you-should-learn-to-differentiate-between-nice-and-kind/

 

“Being nice means being polite, pleasant and agreeable in a given social situation. It arises from expectations around how we should act with regard to others and is considered a form of social conditioning.

 

However, when we are being nice, we are not necessarily being genuine; we might be motivated by fear of rejection or some other less desirable outcome.”

 

“Ultimately, being nice is attributable to being selfish. We act nicely because we want something in return: either for the other person to be nice to us in return or to provide us with something more tangible. Being nice can even be considered a form of manipulation that enables you to get what you want out of a situation.”

 

“Being kind, on the other hand, is based on genuinely caring about others and doing things for them with the intention of a good or positive outcome for them, not yourself. Acts of kindness may or may not personally benefit the person being kind; they tend to be selfless and come from a place of compassion, empathy and generosity.”

 

“Behaving nicely often prevents us from speaking up, giving constructive feedback or standing up for what’s right. Niceness does very little to change the status quo and mostly doesn’t amount to much positive or meaningful.

 

On the other hand, being kind allows us to communicate honestly and respectfully. It has great power to make truly positive changes, effect progress or simply make someone else's life a little bit more bearable.”

 

The examples the writer shared to illustrate the difference between the two helped crystallize it for me.

 

·       “A coworker you're friendly with is sick and misses some work. Being nice is telling them you hope they get better soon. Being kind is going out of your way to keep them informed of events concerning them in the workplace.

 

·       A local charity is organizing a fundraising event. Being nice is saying you respect what they are doing. Being kind is obtaining approval to solicit for the charity at work.

 

·       You’re at the watercooler (assuming such still exist), and you hear a racist joke. Being nice is keeping silent or laughing politely. Being kind is speaking up and stating that it was inappropriate and offensive.

 

·       A coworker and friend is struggling with money and looking for a second job. Being nice is saying you hope they get that second job. Being kind is buying them some groceries and offering to listen to their job interview pitch.”

 

Thought-provoking, isn’t it?

 

I also want to share a few excerpts from an article written by Caroline Bologna titled, Nice vs. Kind: The Difference Is Significant, which was published on msn.com. You can read the full article here:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/nice-vs-kind-the-difference-is-significant/ar-AA1Dg6xD

 

“Houston Kraft, author of “Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness,” noted that the word kindness denotes “action, quality or state.”

 

“Putting the pieces together, kindness is a deliberate action of friendliness or care that chooses to see others as if they were connected to you in some meaningful way,” he said. “It is a choice to practice empathy, connection and generosity to meet the needs of another.”

 

“Kraft described kindness as “proactive” and “care-oriented,” whereas niceness is more “reactive” and “I-oriented.”

 

“Kindness moves beyond feelings and conveniences,” he said. “It is a deliberate choice to bring encouragement, support or appreciation to yourself or others. Nice is pleasant, but doesn’t usually require much pain. It is non-sacrificial and, as such, rarely makes a lasting difference. Most actions in kindness are inconvenient. It almost always costs us something ― time, effort, comfort, pride, ego. But it is those intentional, knowing sacrifices that make it meaningful.”

 

My intention and prayer are to always be kind. I know I will need Godly wisdom, discernment, strength, and courage to accomplish it! Lord, please help me!

 

I am going to close with several quotes:

 

“A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.” – Joseph Joubert

“Because that’s what kindness is. It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can.” – Andrew Iskander

 

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

“If you have kindness in your heart, you offer acts of kindness to touch the hearts of others wherever you go – whether they are random or planned. Kindness becomes a way of life.” – Roy T. Bennett

 

“When you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, choose to be kind.” – Wayne W. Dyer

 

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

 

“When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.” – Buddha

 

“How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.” – Morgan Freeman

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, be kind, please cherish your precious family, and stay well!

 

Kev