You Are In Charge

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Saturday afternoon! Football season is here!!! Absolutely love this time of year! After preparing this Happy Friday I am piling in the car with my Tender Warriors and we are going to go watch G's high school team play tonight.

One random thought before I dive into what is on my heart this week; Happy Friday, and all the hope & optimism it evokes, is a condition of the heart, not a day of the week! :)

So what has really been on my heart since last Sunday is this; you are in charge. It is your life and it is your choice how you are going to live it. Now, before digging in a little deeper, please allow me to put some qualifiers around specifically what I am saying. I am not talking about religion, God, our need for God, etc. What I am talking specifically about is captured best in this quote; "Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we should wait for someone else to do the right thing before we do the right thing." - Unknown

Every day you & I wake up we have several choices to make. We get to choose our attitude, the effort we will bring to everything, with whom & where we will spend our most valuable resource...our time, how we will act & react in all situations, etc. These are all choices we make. We own them. We are responsible & accountable for them. Most of us don't like this...

It strikes me when looking at marriages how often we will point at the other person and say, "If only he [she] would _________, I would __________." And in the moment we forfeit, run from really, the responsibility & the accountability that we own...whether we recognize it or not. Bottom line Friends, you & I can only control ourselves. I can't make my Beautiful Bride happy, I can't make her choose to do anything. It always strikes me that God is all about free will - He let's people choose - and then we, the lost & broken people, think we are going to come in and demand that someone be or do something. Kinda scary if you think about it. Anyways, regardless of what Kathy chooses to do or not to do, I still have a choice - for which I am responsible & accountable for...not her - in how I will act & react. Simple to understand - very, very hard to live out.

If you are in a relationship of any kind and you don't like how things are going, instead of pointing the finger at the other person and waiting for them to change or do something, why don't you man or woman-up and be the change? Go ahead, extend the olive branch first. Be the first to forgive. Be the first to change the way you behave. Be the first to encourage. Be the first to make the relationship right. Be the first to swallow your pride. Be the first to serve. Be the first to give up your "rights." Be the first to give up anger. Be the first to give up disappointment. We all want to be the first all the time, why not be the first at these things?!?! You & I have so much more power than we access because we forfeit it under this guise that we are "humbly submitting to keep the peace" when in reality we are defiantly holding on to pride. It's time Friends to step up, to be different, to do things different and to take charge of our lives. Nobody can make you happy...that is a deal between you & God. It's an inside job, it's in your heart. Period.

I want to wrap up today with a couple of more quotes, some things for you to think about & ponder.

"The next time you want to withhold your help, or your love, or your support for another for whatever the reason, ask yourself a simple question; do the reasons you want to withhold it reflect more on them or on you? And which reasons do you want defining you forevermore?" - Dan Pearce

 

"Sometimes we need to stop preaching to everybody and just start being kind to the people in our lives - take a genuine interest in them and bless them, pray for them and ask God to make us aware of how we might serve them. In other words, we should "show" people the love of Jesus." - Joyce Meyer

 

"Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart. Be the one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them." - Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families & friends!

Kev

Are You Easily Offended?

Happy Friday Evening Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having had a great day and a wonderful week on this absolutely beautiful Friday evening! We have received some much needed rain on the Gulf Coast and the weather tonight is just...incredible. I do believe I am going to have to go sit out on the back porch with my Beautiful Bride after this Happy Friday.

This week I want to share a few things with you.

1. Work travel has increased tremendously. I have decided to use my time on airplanes going through leadership books I have read, making notes of everything I have underlined...really studying, learning and, through applying what I read, growing. On a trip this week I took along one of my all-time favorite leadership books, Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success by John C. Maxwell. I was getting all fired up taking notes, such a great book, packed with great wisdom. I wanted to share just two quick excerpts from the book with you.

"Contentment comes from having a positive attitude. It means...

• expecting the best in everything - not the worst
• remaining up beat - even when you get beat up
• seeing solutions in every problem - not problems in every solution
• believing in yourself - even when others believe you've failed
• holding on to hope - even when others say it is hopeless"

"If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first. You can't let the failure outside you get inside you. You certainly can't control the length of your life - but you can control its width & depth. You can't control the contour of your face - but you can control its expression. You can't control the weather - but you can control the atmosphere of your mind. Why worry about things you can't control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?"

2. Please do me a favor; click on this link and go watch Kathie Lee Gifford's tribute to her husband, Frank Gifford, from earlier this week. http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/18/entertainment/kathie-lee-gifford-frank-today-feat/ If this link does not work, just type in "Kathie Lee Gifford's tribute to Frank Gifford" and it will pop up for you. The whole thing is a little more than 8 minutes long. The parts I particularly want  you to see and listen to occur right around the 3:45 mark on. Please, if you don't do anything else, go watch. It is an absolutely great message for us all.

Seeing some of the comments that have been made when I went to look at this I feel I must say something; we are ALL fallen, broken & make/have made mistakes. Not a single one of us is immune. This does not mean that God will not forgive us - nothing, absolutely nothing you or I can do is too great for God to forgive...not because of who we are but because of who He is! - and it doesn't mean that we can't learn from one another. A few rapid-fire thoughts come to mind:
- There was 1 absolutely perfect person and we nailed Him to a tree
- Let him who is without sin cast the first stone
- David, described as "a man after God's own heart, was not without sin...none of us are

If we could just get over ourselves! O.K., my rant is over. Please go watch the video and I pray this question will challenge each one of us in the deepest recesses of our hearts..."What is your stone and where are you going to throw it?"

3. Are you easily offended?

Last week I had some things on my mind so I called one of my dearest friends, a relationship ordered & ordained by God 22 years ago...dang we are getting old!, to seek some Godly counsel. We talked about all kinds of things and then he brought up this idea of being offended. He told me about a sermon or talk he heard about not being offended, stating if Jesus did not get offended what is so big in your life or mine that would permit us to be offended. He told me after hearing the talk he was quite for 3 days. 

I have thought and prayed a lot about being offended in the past week or so. I have caught myself wanting to be offended, recognizing it and choosing, intentionally choosing, not to be offended. It is not easy, I would argue it is impossible, unless something greater than you or I is leading us.

Tonight I simply offer it up to you for thought & consideration. If your spirit is a little restless right now perhaps this is something for you.

I will tell you this; being offended is the easiest thing in the world to do. It requires very little, if any, work. Because we are flawed, broken people living in a flawed, broken world, there are plenty of folks who are willing to let you be offended by them. Cut you off, cut in front of you, flip you off...there are people willing to do all those things. Pick on you, tear you down, question you and everything about you...there are people willing to do all these things as well. There is absolutely no shortage of things we can get offended by and about. Here's the thing though Friends, just because we can doesn't mean we should.

If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Personal Savior, if we know who God says we are, if we believe that God will take care of us and provide for us as His word says He will, if we don't let worry grip our hearts as the Bible reminds us 365 times not to do...if all these things, why would we get offended? If we are truly allowing God to be the Lord of our lives, to transform our hearts & minds He can take us to a place where we get offended less and less. I don't know if it is possible for us to ever get to a place where we are never offended - I am not trying to put God in a box and I do believe that with God all things are possible - however I do know that by seeking God daily and truly allowing Him to be the Lord of our lives we can be offended a whole lot less...at least I can.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families. I am headed out to the back porch now with my Beautiful Bride...

Kev

Making a House a Home

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great night on this beautiful Sunday evening. I also hope you had a great week last week, a wonderful weekend and you are ready to start your new week!

This weekend my Beautiful Bride & youngest Tender Warrior met my sister & brother-in-law at my Mom's house in New Mexico to clean it out. Kath was pretty concerned about what her emotions would be with this being the last time we would be going to Grammy's house. She asked our Home Group to be praying for us and I was praying this whole trip up as well. God's hand was all over us from safe travel to quality time in the car to tireless work to things coming together...I swear I could feel His presence. I was so aware of it and so, so very grateful.

When we walked into the house my Bride walked...somewhere. I honestly can't recall which direction she went, though I know she was in front of me. I walked in and started walking down the hallway to the right. Kath said something like, "what do you think?" I said, "It feels cold. There is no spirit here." And that is exactly how it felt. We both knew it, accepted it and did what we needed to do. We would both think about that comment a lot, and talk about it last night as we began our journey home.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary online defines Spirit as the force within a person that is believed to give the body life, energy, and power; the inner quality or nature of a person; a person. I would say yes, yes & yes. I would add, quite emphatically, it is the spirit that makes the house a home, not all of the other stuff. Grammy had some wonderful, beautiful stuff. I carefully & reverently packed it away, knowing it was my Mom's and at some point she got it with the same excitement that we get stuff. But ultimately that is all it was, stuff. In the absence of my Mom the warm, loving house was just a structure. The things that she had carefully picked out and placed in various nooks were just things...with their heartbeat now gone. There was nothing I felt I needed or had to have. I already have the greatest gift my Mom could have every given, her unconditional love & support. Though she is gone from this earth I carry her in my heart, I feel her unconditional love & I can still hear her as clear as day say, "Now Robby, you put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you go make this a great day!" Those are the things that made her house a home...her.

When we were driving home last night my Sweet Girl and I talked about all of this - the spirit, stuff, what makes a house a home. As I told her, I am going to focus on the spirit, not the stuff. My Bride and my boys don't need more clothes, more stuff...they need me. They need my unconditional love & support. We need to do things together...things too valuable and priceless to ever be placed on a shelf, only to be treasured in the heart. This is what makes a house a home, not the things we place in the home. It's the things in our hearts, the connections we have with one another, things that no matter the amount of wealth you possess you cannot buy. I encourage you Friends to give it some serious thought.

I really feel I need to share this with you as well. As I was doing yard-work this afternoon I was thinking about this message, about the spirit of a person. Sure enough some wisdom my Mom once shared with me came to mind; "Robby, we have to teach him but we don't want to break the spirit." Funny, when I was thinking about it this afternoon I did not remember the source that told me...it was as I was typing this that I remembered my Mom telling me that when I was first learning to be a Dad with Payton. We do have to discipline our sons & daughters - the act of true discipline is an act of love...perhaps a different Happy Friday - however we don't want to break the spirit. Your son or daughter is strong-willed? Great! They will achieve nothing in this life without perseverance. They do however need to learn to submit & obey as we all have someone we answer & report to. Without the ability to submit & obey they will not be able to achieve much of anything in this life either. And there Friends is the delicate balance beam that we as parents are privileged to walk. To nourish the spirit and at the same time instill character, values, integrity. I pray we will all think about that when we fight our battles. Choose words carefully, act thoughtfully & purposefully...precious souls are counting on us, regardless of the workload, stress and/or fatigue.

Right before my Mom passed away she had come to stay with us for nearly two weeks. On that trip she gave Kathy a sign that hangs in our living room. It says, "It takes hands to build a house but only hearts can build a home." I have no clue who said it however they were so right. My precious Mom made sure she got one more message through to Kath & I. It inspires our daily living and prepared our hearts for one last trip to her house in New Mexico.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful week and please cherish those precious spirits!

Kev

Anchor

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day, that you had a wonderful week and that your weekend is off to an amazing start!

I had a truly amazing week. I traveled to the beautiful state of Kansas for work. On my flight from Houston to Dallas and then from Dallas to Kansas City I sat next to a woman who wanted to talk about raising teenagers, the challenges, the hopes, etc. It was definitely a God-ordained meeting. I left inspired, and challenged. On Wednesday morning I ordered breakfast at my hotel, turned around and walking directly toward me is one of the young men I was once privileged to coach. I had not seen him in more than 20 years. We hugged and then talked for a couple of hours. My heart was happy, full. He, like all of us, has his struggles & challenges, however he is determined to pursue the Lord and to be the man, husband & father that God created him to be. Thursday & Friday I was privileged to meet with some truly amazing people, champions in their fields. It is such an honor & privilege to do what I do. Then last night I got to come home to my amazing family. I am blessed, truly blessed, beyond measure.

Today I hope to provoke thought. I am currently reading "Get Your Hopes Up! Expect Something Good to Happen to You Every Day" by Joyce Meyer. Earlier this week I turned the page and written on page 128, Chapter 13, it says, "Hope Is Our Anchor." Something within my moved when I read those words..."Hope Is Our Anchor." I couldn't wait to begin reading the chapter. And at the same time I found myself asking, "What is your anchor?" And I wasn't looking to give myself the Sunday School answer here either! What really is the anchor of my life, demonstrated in my thoughts, words & actions.

Merriam-Webster.com defines anchor (at least the type I am referring to here) as: a person or thing that provides strength and support; a reliable or principle support; something that serves to hold an object firmly. So there it is Friends, the thought(s) or question(s) to ask ourselves. Who or what provides you & me with strength & support? Is it reliable, always (which is measurable) there for us? Does it hold you & I firmly so we are not blown away by the seasons of life?

Something that keeps banging around in my head is this; we so often associate the need for an anchor during the storms of life. A ship is in a storm so it drops its anchor to hold it in place. We certainly need an anchor for that don't we? We get news we don't want or something happens that shakes us to the core...we definitely need to be anchored at that moment, or perhaps better said is, we find out what we are anchored to at that moment. I would argue that the anchor is just as needed during the seasons of fruitfulness & prosperity. It is really easy for our little ship to drift away to a place we never intended to go during those seasons of life when everything seems to be going well. We might not stay as attentive as we should be, we let things slide or go that we shouldn't and then suddenly we find ourselves in dark, desperate places. Lost. Hopeless. I would propose that anchors aren't just for storms...they are for all parts of life. To keep us grounded in who & what we are, regardless of the situations, circumstances or seasons of life.

My hope today is not to make anyone feel bad or to condemn anyone...including myself! :) I simply want to ask you a few questions...and by the way, I am challenging myself with the same ones. What is your anchor? What is holding you in place? Are you being held in place...and I am talking at the principle, foundational level here, not physically? Do you find yourself getting blown off course by the challenges & adversities that we all face in life? Do you find yourself getting blown off course by the fruitfulness & prosperity that we all face in life? Our circumstances do not define us and our life purposes are greater than any challenge, fruit, adversity or prosperity we may encounter. Understanding this, are we staying the course regardless of what is happening in life? If not, perhaps we might want to check our anchor. It sounds like it is not doing it's job.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev