What Do People Learn By Watching You?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday afternoon.

I am reading the book Jesus on Leadership: Discovering the secrets of servant leadership from the life of Christ by C. Gene Wilkes. Earlier this week I came across the following:

"Jesus lived the answer to the question of how to lead like a servant. He concluded his lesson on greatness by saying, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). Jesus stated his mission with those words. He knew his disciples would not get it until he completed his mission. He had to say in essence, "Watch me. I will show you how this works. I have not come to be served by you, I have come to serve you. I will also give my life as a payment so that many will be freed to a relationship with God." Jesus knew he had to model his lesson before his students would ever be able to live it out."

This really got me thinking, "What do people learn by watching me? What I am modeling so others can live it out?" The reality is my life is showing something - what I believe in, where I get my hope, where I believe my strength comes from, how I perceive problems, what I believe about people, etc. It is not a matter of if my life shows or teaches it is a matter of what...and my Friends, it is the same for you and your life.

The first part of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" - what I believe & pour into myself, which quite frankly I probably don't talk about enough, is in fact what determines the second part - my influence on others. Who I believe in, Who I believe I belong to, Who I believe is in control, the things I listen to & read, etc. all determine the thoughts I think, the words I speak, the things I do or don't do and all this leads to the sermon I preach by the life I live. For those I am privileged to influence/lead, in whatever capacity, this is what I am showing them how to do, who to be. They, through my example, will now be able to live out what I have shown them. 

The point of this "Happy Friday" is not to condemn but rather to raise awareness. Not to drive you or me away in despair but rather to inspire focused, intentional beliefs, thoughts, words & actions. While the world does not revolve around you or I, the example we set in our own worlds does in fact have eternal consequences. I simply ask you & I, in watching our lives lived, what do people learn?

As I thought about this I studied several thoughts/quotes. I want to share them with you here as I thought they might be useful to you on your journey.

"What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips." - Oliver Goldsmith

"The life you live is the lesson you teach." - Unknown

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." - Marcus Aurelius

"Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds." - Jewish Proverb

"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you." - Robert Fulghum

"Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means." - Albert Einstein

"A good example is the best sermon." - Thomas Fuller

I have to share one more excerpt from Jesus on Leadership as it struck me as very profound:

"Jesus came to show what life in the kingdom of God looked like, not to modify how the world did things."

It isn't our responsibility to change people's hearts, to tell them what they should or should not do...those things are best left God. It is our responsibility to show them what we believe by the life we live.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

The Heart is Key

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as this beautiful new opportunity, er, day, dawns!

Oh my Friends, the heart is full this morning! This morning I am going to share some thoughts with you based on listening, seeking to understand, folks from all walks of life over the past few weeks. I am not going to be referring to groups - Muslim or Christian, White or Black, Police Officer or some other professions, etc. for example - throughout this post. No, I am going to refer to people as people. I am not doing this to remove or neglect anyone's uniqueness or individuality but rather as a recognition and acknowledgement of everyone's humanity. And this is the first point I want to address...

1. We are all human. My Bible tells me that everyone - EVERYONE! - is created uniquely by God on purpose for a purpose. There is a person who is going to wake up today in some country that I have never heard of who loves his family, desperately wants to be the best he can be, who will pour himself out fully today in service to others...just like me. He may not look like me, talk like me, believe what I believe, do what I do, or care about what I care about however he is a person - to be loved, valued & cherished. He will wake up with hopes & fears, dreams & concerns, wants & needs...all, just like me.  

When we dehumanize anyone we are treading on very dangerous, I offer perhaps Holy, ground. I don't know about you however I am not going to argue with God and tell him He got this one wrong as I point at another. When we fail to recognize the humanity in any person we not only argue with God we put ourselves on a path to think, say, do things and to go places that we don't want to go. We must first recognize people as people, to value & cherish them as people, to care about them as people, to treat them as people, to see them in their humanity, just like you & me.

Now, I also recognize that evil is real and some people do have evil in their hearts. You can get a group of these people together and you have a whole lot of folks together who are individually evil. This does not make any one group evil. Just as we cannot dehumanize anyone, we can't - we must not! - generalize. This is a slippery slope that we, as people, have lived on for way too long. Not only do generalizations prove ignorance, they also lead us to think, say & do horrible things. We can recognize the evil in a person, we can protect ourselves - we are wise to do both - however we must not put all people in the group that we want to generalize this person into in the same category. We can still treat the person who is evil with respect as a human being - again, safely - and perhaps most importantly, we can pray for that person. History has proven time & time again that arguing, fighting, etc. will not change the heart of an evil person...only God has the ability to do that.

2. What is the condition of your heart? By this I mean, how do you perceive others? Do you believe that every life has value, meaning & purpose? Do you believe that every person was created by God on purpose for a purpose? This is a critically important issue to resolve in our hearts...and may I remind you Friends, what you say does not demonstrate the condition of your heart, it is what you do that does. Now, this is an important issue to resolve two different ways...

First, it is going to determine how I approach others. Do I approach them from the angle of love or hate? My heart will decide that. Am I looking for the good or the bad? My heart will decide that. Is it my goal to make a friend or to fight? My heart will determine that. And many, many more issues all originating from the heart, the root if you will of the body. You see Friends, it is the true beliefs that we harbor in the deepest recesses of our hearts that will determine our thoughts, our words and our actions, the fruit.

Second, it is going to determine how I receive others. Do I seek to understand or to be understood? My heart will decide that. Am I looking to better understand another person or am I looking to assign fault/blame? My heart will decide that. Do I initially - before any words or actions - perceive a friend or foe? My heart will decide that. Let me take it another direction; who or what defines you? Yes, that is a heart issue as well and it does determine how we receive the thoughts, words & actions of other people. 

Until we resolve the heart issues, we stand no chance of resolving human relations issues. Our hearts will either lead us to life & truth or to death & destruction...every individual person walking the face of this earth must make that determination for him or herself.

3. Finally, I want to again encourage each one of us to first seek to understand, then, and only if necessary, to be understood. It is an incredibly narrow window to only seek to be understood. There are a whole bunch of people, from every segmentation of life, currently seeking to be understood. Let us be different, let us seek first to understand the thoughts, worries, concerns, hurts, goals & dreams of another person. Then we are in a position to truly value them for the unique people they are and perhaps then, we will have the honor & privilege of doing life with them.

It is a very tense time in our world. Their are evil hearted people doing evil things. It can become stressful, frustrating, etc. I want to encourage you today Friends, there is hope, great hope actually. We can pray for these people and these situations. The God who created everything is quite capable of changing the hearts of men and women...in fact, He is the only thing that can. Please don't spend your precious time - the most valuable resource you have - arguing, fighting, trying to prove your point, etc. Instead, submit your concerns to the Lord and then walk out what you believe to be right & true. Not once in the Bible does God tell us to go fix everything - He tells us repeatedly to trust Him, to guard our hearts, minds and spirits and to work at everything as though we are working for Him, not people.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You may contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Who or What is Your Master?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day is beginning to dawn. It is starting to feel like fall...well sorta. Not exactly on the Texas Gulf Coast as we remain in the 90's with 90% humidity however I did get to spend the better part of the week in Salt Lake City and the highs there earlier this week were in the upper 60's. See, it feel like fall...sorta! :)

You ever have seasons where you can feel God working in your life? That is where I am. He is doing things, I feel Him moving and I feel myself learning & growing. I don't completely get everything however I feel it and it feels good, it feels exciting. It also leaves me feeling a little perplexed. With this, I am going to share a few excerpts with you from a great new book I am reading - Jesus on Leadership: Discovering the secrets of servant leadership from the life of Christ by C. Gene Wilkes - and I am only going to elaborate on one. I will let you wrestle with the others on your own...I am busy enough with my own wrestling match over here! :)

• Do you feel that God is calling you to be a leader? If so, you must let go of pride. Pride ruins leaders. It will push you to seek places you think you deserve rather than where God has chosen you to serve. Pride sets you above others and insists that you deserve service from them. Pride blinds you to your weaknesses and to others' strengths. Pride drives you to build barriers rather than bridges. And pride will always place itself ahead of the mission and ahead of the people who are involved with you to carry out the mission.
• Prayer is "like farming," according to Robert Schuller. He offers these four steps to quiet prayer:

1. In the first step, the soil must be broken, disked, and raked until it is prepared to receive the seed. In prayer, your soul must first be prepared by faith.
2. Then the seed must be dropped. In Level Two prayer, your call for help must be raised.
3. Then the weeds must be removed. In prayer, the negative elements in your thoughts and feelings must be eliminated like static on the line. You clear the channel and reprogram your mind with positive ideas and moods.
4. And water must be supplied. In prayer, renewed vision, purpose, and enthusiasm must be added to your soul.

• You may be waiting on God's timing in your life You may feel that what you are doing now has nothing to do with God's call on your life or the mission God has called you to complete. Be patient. Wait. Find a quiet hill or field where you can sit still and hear the voice of God. You will soon discover that if you pay attention to God's timing in your present, you will see God's timing in your future.
• You must answer the question "Who is master of my life?" Here's why your answer to that question is basic to this study: No one can be a servant without a master.
• Rick Warren also touched on this in his book The Purpose Drive Life: What On Earth Am I Hear For? when he wrote, Everybody eventually surrenders to something or someone. If not to God, you will surrender to the opinions or expectations of others, to money, to resentment, to fear, or to your own pride, lusts, or ego. You were designed to worship God - and if you fail to worship him, you will create other things (idols) to give your life to. You are free to choose what you surrender to, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice. E. Stanley Jones said, "If you don't surrender to Christ, you surrender to chaos."

It is these last two bullet points that I want to elaborate on this morning. When I read the words, "What is master of your life?", I felt an inspiring tug in my spirit. As Pastor Warren stated, "Everybody eventually surrenders to something or someone." I knew this to be true, I also knew it had been quite a while since I had seriously pondered this thought.

Now look Friends, you & I know the "Sunday School" answer. I am not looking for "Sunday School" answers in my life and I pray you are not either. I am looking for real answers, those that reveal themselves in the things I think, say & do every day. Who or what am I allowing to define me? Who or what am I trying to please? Who or what am I allowing to define success in and for my life? Who or what am I allowing to lead me? Who is master in my life?

This is my challenge for us this week, to truly determine who will be the master of our lives and then, most importantly, to walk it out. Just as we did not jump on a bike the first time and enter the Tour de France, we will not walk this out flawlessly right away. That is o.k., we must daily redecide our master and then pursue whoever or whatever it is we choose to serve. As with everything else in your life, I cannot tell you who or what you should choose. I do however want to remind each of us, me included, Pastor Warren's words, "You are free to choose what you surrender to, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice."

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What Do You Stop For?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning!

Oh goodness, here I am again writing a Happy Friday on a Saturday morning. I was so exhausted yesterday morning my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, actually woke me up. That has happened...never! So now I am sitting here in my living room, Gameday on TV, my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, and my sweet Beagle, Chloe, sitting next to me. Life is good Friends, life is good.

You may have heard this week about a precious little Kindergartner here in Texas who was running late to school. As he approached the door of the school he heard his classmates reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Though he was late, he immediately stopped, bowed his head and even said a prayer before going into school.

As I was driving to work this week, one of the radio announcers was sharing this story and she said something about it that was profound to me. After reading the story she said, "We stop for what is important to us." I have thought a lot about that statement this week. What are the things I stop for? What are the things you stop for?

There are a few different thoughts I have about this:

• We learn, we grow, our perspective changes. I am not trying to beat you or me up with this Happy Friday. I am sure there are things that you can reflect on and wish you had handled differently, just as I do. I believe the key for all of us is to listen to the conviction of our spirit and to respond accordingly. If something doesn't sit well deep in my heart, I need to adjust the way I handle it in the future. You & I are human, we are going to have failing moments. We do however have the opportunity to handle it differently in the future.
• Sometimes we don't realize what is happening/going on with others around us. I think this is more a reflection of our listening, understanding, empathy than it is a reflection of what is important to us. My Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors are critically important to me. I will tell you now; I would drop anything in the world for them. I will also tell you there have been times I have absolutely blown it. Where I didn't realize what they were thinking, feeling, struggling with, etc. and therefore I didn't stop when they needed me. I have found that these times are a lot less when I am fully present. When I am fully present I more fully understand where they are at that moment and therefore, I can be & do what they need.
• As with anything in life really, we find out what we truly believe & value in the crucible of life. It still strikes me as so ironic; most of us spend the majority of our time trying avoid problems, challenges, struggles, etc. however it is at those times when we learn, grow & become all we are capable of becoming. As I thought about this statement over the course of this week, one event in Kath & I's life kept coming back to me over and over again...I want to share it with you now. I started my career as a college football coach. Like most coaches, I was consumed by my profession and those I was privileged to serve through it. Kath would often say she felt as though football, my team and my players were more important to me than she was. I tried to assure her this was not the case however those feelings persisted for her. She was pregnant with what would be our 2nd child. I will never forget the day we went for a check up with the doctor and he told us there was no longer a heartbeat...we had miscarried our 2nd child. The doctor explained that there was nothing to do now that eventually her body would reject the fetus. I was devastated by our loss and often wear a little ring on my right pinky to honor our little baby who I will not get to meet until I get to Heaven. At that time I was the Head Football Coach at Wayne State College. We were having a night practice a few nights later when one of the trainers came running up to me, stated that Kathy had called and that she was having problems. I alerted a couple of coaches as I was running out of the facility, sped home, picked up my Sweet Girl and drove her to the hospital. We spent that night alone together in our hospital room...I still cherish that time. It was a crucible - a moment of profound loss for us and at the same time a moment of profound clarity...I stopped for what mattered to me. Yes, I wanted to be a successful football coach and I cared deeply about my coaches & players. My priority however is my Beautiful Bride, and now my Tender Warriors. Kath has never told me she felt 2nd to anyone or anything since that night. And something I just realized...I ALWAYS tell everyone, my #1 priority is my wife & boys. I can accomplish everything worldly and if I fail them, I truly believe I have failed. I don't recall ever saying that prior to that night...I don't recall not having said it since that night. 

I do agree; we stop for what is important to us. My hope, my prayer and my challenge for each of us this week is that we will recognize what is most important to us and that we will stop for those things. And, on the occasion that we stub our toe, that we will do what we can to make that situation right and then move forward - we gotta keep moving forward and not get trapped in the mire & muck! - towards those things that are most important to us.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Serving & You

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had an awesome week. The 1st full weekend of college football...I love it! As my wife texted me earlier this week, this Labor Day Weekend is going to be all about "Faith, Family & Football!" I am blessed beyond measure it so many ways!!! :)

This week we are going to have two quasi guest bloggers, meaning I am going to share some excerpts from a book as well as a saying with you. I am just going to let each speak to you as they will and leave it there.

As for the excerpts, I have been reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I want to encourage anyone reading this message to thoughtfully consider reading this book. It is broken up into to daily readings. I literally was excited to get up each day to see what the next message was going to be. I finish it tomorrow and I plan to start right over again. I feel I must also tell you that I have tried to read this book twice before...unsuccessfully. I just couldn't get into it. Just another example of God's time, the preparation of our hearts, etc. Before now I just wasn't really ready to get it. Perhaps now is the time for you as well.

The excerpts I am going to share are out of the readings of the 33rd day - it is broken up into 40 daily readings. The name of the chapter is "How Real Servants Act." I am just going to directly list the excerpts without any in-put.

Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. - Mark 10: 43 (Msg)

• The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived.
• Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you.
• Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant.
• While knowing your shape [Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, Experience] is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is even more important.
• You primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever your needed at the moment.
• Your shape reveals your ministry, but your servant's heart will reveal your maturity. No special talent or gift is required to stay after a meeting to pick up trash or stack chairs. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character.
• Real servants make themselves available to serve.
• If you only serve when it's convenient for you, you're not a real servant. Real servants do what's needed, even when it's inconvenient.
• Being a servant means giving up the right to control your schedule and allowing God to interrupt it whenever he needs to.
• If you will remind yourself at the start of every day that you are God's servant, interruptions won't frustrate you as much, because your agenda will be whatever God wants to bring into your life. Servants see interruptions as divine appointments for ministry and are happy for the opportunity to practice serving.
• Real servants pay attention to needs.
• Servants are always on the lookout for ways to help others.
• Great opportunities to serve never last long.
• John Wesley was an incredible servant of God. His motto was "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." That is greatness.
• Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching.
• Real servants do their best with what they have.
• God expects you to do what you can, with what you have, wherever you are. Less-than-perfect service is always better than the best intention.
• You may have read it said, "If it can't be done with excellence, don't do it." Well, Jesus never said that!
• Real servants do every task with equal dedication.
• You will never arrive at the state in life where you're too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane. It's a vital part of your character curriculum. The Bible says, "If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody." Galatians 6:3 (NLT)
• It is in these small services that we grow like Christ.
• Jesus specialized in menial tasks that everyone else tried to avoid; washing feet, helping children, fixing breakfast, and serving lepers. Nothing was beneath him, because he came to serve.
• It wasn't in spite of his greatness that he did these things, but because of it, and he expects us to follow his example.
• Small tasks often show a big heart. Your servants heart is revealed in little acts that others don't think of doing...
• Great opportunities often disguise themselves in small tasks. The little things in life determine the big things. Don't look for great tasks to do for God. Just do the not-so-great stuff, and God will assign you whatever he wants you to do. But before attempting the extraordinary, try serving in ordinary ways.
• The race to be a leader is crowded, but the field is wide open for those willing to be servants. Sometimes you serve upward to those in authority, and sometimes you serve downward to those in need. Either way, you develop a servant's heart when you're willing to do anything needed.
• Real servants are faithful to their ministry.
• Servants finish their tasks, fulfill their responsibilities, keep their promises, and complete their commitments. They don't leave a job half undone, and they don't quit when they get discouraged.
• Can you be counted on by others? Are there promises you need to keep, vows you need to fulfill, or commitments you need to honor? This is a test. God is testing your faithfulness.
• You can retire from your career, but you will never retire from serving God.
• Real servants maintain a low profile.
• Servants don't promote or call attention to themselves. Instead of acting to impress and dressing for success, they "put on the apron of humility, to serve one another." (1 Peter 5:5) If recognized for their service, they humbly accept it but don't allow notoriety to distract them from their work.
• Real servants don't serve for the approval or applause of others. They live for an audience of One.
• You may be serving in obscurity in some small place, feeling unknown and unappreciated. Listen: God put you where you are for a purpose. He has every hair on your head numbered, and he knows your address. You had better stay put until he chooses to move you. He will let you know if he wants you somewhere else. Your ministry matters to the kingdom of God.
• Notoriety means nothing to real servants because they know the difference between prominence and significance. You have several prominent features on your body that you could live without. It is the hidden parts of the body that are indispensable. The same is true in the Body of Christ. The most significant service is often the service that is unseen.

As for the saying, I went to meet with one of the nurses where I work on Monday. This was hanging on the wall:

"You are the real thing.

A genuine original.

Perfect in all your flaws.

So find your voice and change the world.

Make a real difference.

Be a hero, an inspiration, a mentor.

Believe in Your gifts and use them wisely.

Never stop learning.

Make mistakes and ask questions.

Embrace the journey.

Be passionate about the things that matter to you most.

You are the author of your own life story.

Make it a good one." - Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always be willing to help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev