Just The Way You Are

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast.

This morning I want to share two things, one a reminder and the other I believe is something we are talking about for the first time. I was inspired to share both of these by things I heard on the radio this week.

J.J. Moses is a former NFL football player who now serves as an Ambassador for the Houston Texans through their Community Programs. He was telling his story. At 5'6" he was not highly regarded as an NFL prospect coming out of Iowa State University. Just the same he continued to work hard in preparation for Iowa State's Pro Day, the day NFL scouts would come to evaluate all of the draft eligible players on Iowa State's team. J.J. performed very well that day. At the end of the day an NFL coach came up to him and said, "Congratulations J.J., today you made it in the NFL." J.J. talked about how after hearing many, many times that he would never make it there was this great moment of clarity that it is not people that decide who we are or what we will be but rather it is God, who created each one of us, who has given us different talents, gifts & abilities who will ultimately decide how, where & when those talents, gifts & abilities will be used.

I want to share a couple of scriptures with you this morning and briefly elaborate on each.

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10

You & I Friends are the very workmanship of God. Let that sink in for a moment... You & I are not some random chance occurrence. God created you & I on purpose for a purpose. We lack nothing for the good works He has prepared for us. What if we walked in that truth today?

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 4: 10 - 11

I think this is where many of us struggle. There are two key points:
1. God created each one of us on purpose for a purpose as noted above... to bring glory to Him. He didn't do these things so we could be rich, famous, etc. He did these things so we can bring glory to Him. When we are more focused on ourselves than on bringing glory to God, we can become discontent with our talents, gifts & abilities, with the lives we live. 

2. The gifts are given to us to serve one another. It is in serving others that we bring glory to God. We weren't given our talents, gifts & abilities so we could be comfortable, be famous or make a whole lot of money. 

My prayer for each of us is that we will fully embrace who we are, who we were created to become and that we will be fully alive in our purpose. I can't guarantee that you will play in the NFL, that you will be a famous writer or anything else. I can simply guarantee that that if you will purse God with all of your heart, mind & spirit, that if you will strive every day to become all that He created you to become, He will use your life in powerful ways to serve others and that you will have a deep abiding peace in your spirit that goes beyond all understanding.

I also want to share another scripture that moved me greatly when I heard it again this week. It comes from the story of David & Goliath. 

"David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that that Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands.

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him." 1 Samuel 17: 45 - 48

I want to specifically highlight two things:

1. As we battle our giants, we all have them, let us remember that the battle is not ours, it is the Lord's. In reality, you & I cannot win these battles in our own strength, just as in his own strength, David could not defeat Goliath. The Lord however can and will, if and when, we seek Him, acknowledge Him and give the battle to Him. This does not mean we sit passively and wait for the Lord to defeat our enemies. Just as David had to pick up the stones and throw the stone, we will have to pick up and hurl our own stones. We must never forget however that the battle is the Lords, not ours.

2. If you are like most of us, you do not run toward your giants, you run from them. More than likely this is because we are trying to fight the giants in our own strength, knowledge, wisdom & courage. When however we remember that the battle is the Lord's, we will have the confidence that David had and we will charge towards our giants. Yes, let that be who we are...Giant chargers!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Chloe Got Out!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a brand new day prepares to dawn! You know, greatness is lurking out there! We will find what we seek in this day...opportunity or obstacle, greatness or struggle, hope or despair, the choices are limitless & they are ours!

You ever have one of those just really good days? You are driving home, feeling good about everything, just looking forward to some time with your family...that kinda day. Yeah, I was having one of those days on Tuesday. Flying up the I-45, singing loud & proud to the song on the radio, not a care in the world. And then my phone rang and it was my Beautiful Bride. As soon as I said hello, Kath said, "Chloe got out!" The panic & despair in her voice was palpable. She was trying hard not to cry. I was about 20 minutes from home and more than anything I just wanted to be right there with my Sweet Girl to give her a hug.

Chloe is our 1 1/2 year old Beagle however she is such more than just a dog...kinda like you and I are so much more than how people want to label us. She is morning snuggles, wiggly butts, wooo-wooo-wooo's, snuggles any time you want them, always happy & excited to see you, the chief food stealer, tons of kisses...she is a part of our family. She has her special little thing with every member of her family. I am the one that gets her up in the morning, we snuggle as I read, write notes and I am the one who puts her to bed at night. For the longest time when I would say, "Wanna go night night with Dad?" she would run to the corner of the bed and wait for me to pick her up so we could snuggle as I fell asleep. Now when I say this, she runs and puts herself in her kennel...it's tough when kids grow up! She & Kath are eating and nap buddies...she will finish most of Kath's meals for her and they like to melt into each other and nap. With Payton, they are just buddies. Everywhere Payton goes she goes. She and Gehrig have a special relationship. She is always happy to see G-Man. The rest of us get a wag of the tail and a few kisses when we wake up. G, he always gets a wiggly butt. They love to play with her rope, pulling on it and then melting into a snuggle. Landry is her chief play toy. She saves her greatest early morning snuggles for him...and her fiercest fights. Yes, Chloe is so much more than a dog...

So, we are currently having some work done to our house. One of the workers left the door open and, true to the nature of what she is - a Beagle - she took off. When Kath saw the door open she immediately knew...my phone call came shortly after. I could  not get home fast enough. We live right beside a very busy street with posted speeds of 30 mph...most take this as a simple recommendation and go 40 or even 50. We also live less than a 1/4 of a mile from a highway. I feared the worst and hoped & prayed for the best.

Let me cut to the chase, or search, here and tell you that Chloe was found, safe & sound. As a matter of fact, as I type this Happy Friday she and my Beautiful Bride are snuggled up in our bed together, sound asleep, not a care in the world. How this occurred, I do want to share with you.

After Kath called me she called her friend Jill who immediately hoped in her car and started driving around the neighborhood. Landry had taken off on his bike as soon as he heard his Mom yell, "Who left the door open?!" Jill would in turn call some of her friends as she drove around and they would also join in the search. Landry would stop & ask other kids who were out playing if they had seen a Beagle and after telling him "no", they would begin looking for Chloe as well. Kath kept calling more friends & co-workers. I was finally making it home so I drove down the speedway, uh road, that runs beside our house, hoping that I would not see anything in the road. My Beautiful Bride also called Gehrig, who was at a volleyball game, and asked him to come home and help search for Chloe. He immediately borrowed a friends truck and came home to aid in the search. And finally, the two men working on our house had jumped in their trucks and were driving around as well. The search party that was organized by Kath in about 2 minutes was incredible!

After what seemed like an eternity but was more realistically about 30 - 40 minutes, Kath & I were getting ready to drive past each other and she slowed down. She rolled down her window and said, "Chloe has been found and I am going to get her." The look of despair was still on her face however the sound of sweet relief was indescribable. What had happened is after Kath had called one of her fellow teachers at school to ask if she had seen Chloe, the teacher mentioned it to a neighbor. The neighbor mentioned it to a friend who...had seen a Beagle in the street nearly get hit by a car so she stopped to pick it up. She was on the way to pick up her kids so she had taken the Beagle with her. 

After thanking God, I reflected on what had happened. Deep gratitude filled my heart. Yes, I was grateful our precious little furry family member had been found alive however I was much more grateful for:

1. My Beautiful Bride who did a truly remarkable job under very difficult circumstances. She was scared & heartbroken however she did what we should all do more often when needing help...she asked for it. Nobody was off limits - if you know Kath and live in the general vicinity of Texas - you probably got a phone call. I pray for a humble heart that will seek help when I need it.

2. Friends that so selflessly responded to a friend in need. I am sure Jill wasn't sitting at home hoping someone would call her so she could go drive around the neighborhood looking for a dog. She has a family too. Just the same, she immediately hoped in her car and started driving around. Not only that, she started calling her friends, folks Kath and I don't even know, asking them to help. I pray that I will be that kind of friend. That whenever my friends call, regardless of what I have going on, I will drop everything and help them if they need me.

3. The lady - I don't even know her name - who was on the way to pick up her kids. She had a place to go and two really important little people to see...her kids. Just the same, she had the compassion in her heart that when she saw a dog almost get hit by a car, she stopped to pick it up. She not only saved the life of a dog, she prevented the hearts of 5 people from being broken. I pray that my eyes, ears & heart will be open, that I will have the compassion, that no matter my agenda, I will stop & help whenever I can.

4. My two Tender Warriors who immediately dropped everything to search for Chloe - Payton was in a class, mostly oblivious to the crisis that was happening at home. You know, sometimes as a Dad I wonder if they are getting it. Like the rest of us, kids can be selfish Little Monsters. Then, when the true moment of testing arrives, they show themselves to be all you hope & believe they will become. I thank the Lord for the work He is doing in their hearts and I will continue to pray daily that He will lead them through me.

I guess that is enough for this Friday. I am gonna sign off, go jump in bed and snuggle Kath & Chloe for a few minutes! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.blogspot.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families, including the furry members of it!

Kev

Blessed

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful Sunday dawns!

What a crazy week, er, life! This morning I am going to share a couple of things with ya'll, beginning with what the past week looks like. There are a whole lot of stories, lessons & reflections.

The past week actually begins a few weeks ago. I travel a lot for my job and I was sitting by myself having dinner at a restaurant in Salt Lake City, UT. As I sat there, I received a message from a friend. She stated that she and her husband wanted to dedicate their precious baby boy on Sunday, October 9th and they wanted to know if I would perform the dedication. I was floored - honored, humbled, filled with joy at their decision, etc. I quickly messaged her back thanking her for even thinking of me for such a great honor. I explained to her that October 9th is my middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig's, birthday. I further explained that I had a couple of days left in Utah and asked if I could wait until I get home so I could talk with my family about it. We would have to travel 8+ hours on Saturday, perform the dedication on Sunday morning, and then hop back in the car and drive 8+ hours back...on Gehrig's birthday. I also knew that on Monday I would have to leave for another week long trip.

Over the next couple of days I thought & prayed a lot about this precious babies dedication, the significance of it and the challenges it would bring for my family & I. When I got home I pulled all the family together. I explained what I had been asked, the significance of such a ceremony and asked them if they would be willing to go. Without any hesitation what so ever, every one of them immediately said yes. I can't begin to explain the pure joy, and amazement, that filled my heart. It was everything I had hoped & prayed for in the decisions they would make and it was simply awesome.

Lesson 1: I honored my family by letting them know that their thoughts, feelings & perspective mattered. Instead of telling them they were going to do something, I valued them and they in return responded as I had hoped & prayed they would. They realized that this moment was greater than them.

Lesson 1B: I can't honestly say I was shocked by Gehrig's reaction...he has an incredible heart & spirit. I can say that I was proud of him...that he is growing into the man I believe he is and he made a very selfless, mature decision. Praise the Lord.

So last Saturday morning, after running to the gym with Payton and getting in a heavy leg workout - he is chasing his dream of playing college football and I promised him we would get that workout in first - the Haslam's piled in the car and began our 8+ hour adventure.

Along the way we stopped in the middle of nowhere at a barbecue restaurant. Without a doubt the best barbecue we have ever had. The place was completely packed...and I am telling you, we were in the middle of nowhere! We did the same thing this past summer as we drove through Louisiana; we stopped in the middle of nowhere and had the best Cajun food!

Lesson 2: Give new things a try. My Beautiful Bride is still real uncomfortable with this however I am becoming a huge fan of finding a local restaurant along the way and eating there. We have met some of the sweetest, kindest people and we have had the best food...it is awesome.

My buddy works in college athletics so the plan was we would get to the hotel, change clothes really quick and then head over to their home game. After driving all day, we got to the hotel 30 minutes before kick off. We all quickly changed, headed to the stadium and just as we got there, heard the opening kickoff.

We made our way to the stadium and sat and visited with our friends that we had not seen in more than two years. It was wonderful to see them, to catch up on life, to talk about hopes & dreams and to finally meet their precious baby boy. Time flew...it was an awesome day.

Lesson 3: It really is true that with true friends, time doesn't matter. You can get together without seeing each other for great periods of time and pick up right where you left off. It isn't about time or even circumstances; it is about genuinely loving & caring about one another.

After a quick, late night dinner, the Haslam's headed to the hotel and collapsed. We were up early the next morning and headed to the location of the 9:30 a.m. dedication service. The location was absolutely beautiful, stunningly so. The weather was perfect, the grandparents were there, the godfather and the great, great grandparents were FaceTimed in and off we went with the dedication service. It was beautiful and went extremely well.

Lesson 4: Another reminder really; God doesn't call us to do things because we are qualified. He qualifies us once He calls us and we follow in obedience. I prayed that God would prepare my heart and everyone else's who would be in attendance. I prayed that He would give me the words to speak and the things to do. And He showed up in a powerful way. Praise the Lord.

After the service we quickly hoped back in the car for our 8+ hour journey home. The trip went incredibly well.

Lesson 5: I have talked about this before however I am going to advocate for it again. Please thoughtfully consider hoping in the car with your family and driving somewhere and, please, limit or eliminate the technology stuff. We had so many wonderful conversations - serious as well as funny - on our trip...it was incredible. Yes, it is tiring. Yes, we can all get on each others nerves. The funny thing is, as I sit here and type this I don't recall the bickering. I do recall the sweet conversations and moments.

So we get home on Sunday evening, I hustle out and mow the lawn. I then hustle in and pack for my 5 day, 4 night trip the next day. We all then fall asleep - a weird combination of exhausted & refreshed.

Monday morning we were all off to work & school. I had a quick meeting in the office and then I took off on a nearly 4 hour drive. I got to where I was headed 5 minutes before my meeting, went into my meeting - had a great meeting - and then headed to my hotel. The week was a blur of meetings and staying the night in hotels.

On Friday morning I got up, drove the 4 hours back and stopped by the house for lunch. My youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, had an early out on Friday. He and Kath then went with me to my office. I had to move offices so we spent the next 3+ hours doing this and I had the best helpers ever!

Lesson 6: We can do so much more than we think we can do. There is a Navy Seal motto that says something to the effect that we only do 40% of what we are truly capable of doing. Exhausted? Yes. Inspired? Absolutely.

Lesson 6B: Selfless service is something truly remarkable to see. You see, Kath & Landry didn't really want to move my office - I am sure both could think of tons of other things they could do on their free Friday afternoon - however they both simply wanted to be with me, they knew I had to move my office so they happily, genuinely so, went with me. And the best thing I did? I let them decide where things would go, how it would look, etc. Did everything go exactly where I would have put it? No. Did what they do look good and will it work? Absolutely! They blessed my life and we were all blessed by simply being together.

So you would think that yesterday things would slow down, maybe write Happy Friday, right?! Not so much! A group I had performed a training session for offered to let my two oldest boys and two of their friends play in a golf tournament the group was hosting. So we were up yesterday morning at 5:30 a.m., out the door at 6:45 a.m. and off to Galveston for the golf tournament. Landry rode with me as we were going down to see the group and to get the boys all set up for the tournament. Landry and I were there for about an hour and then we headed back home.

Landry & I love to go target shooting and I had promised him I would take him target shooting when we got back. We went to the house, changed shoes, grabbed our guns and out the door we went. We had a great time - he shot WAY better than his Dad! We could only stay for an hour because Landry had a soccer game. We piled back in the truck, ran home, quickly changed into his soccer uniform and then headed out to the game. Landry played very well though his team lost. After the game we run home, have lunch and take a quick nap.

I wake up from the nap, head outside and trim the bushes, trim the lawn and begin mowing the front lawn. As I am doing these things, I am thinking about Happy Friday, what I want to say this week. I am also thinking about a talk I have this evening. It is all very clear in my mind. I will get done mowing the lawn, write Happy Friday, write my notes for my talk and then take Kath & Landry to a sporting goods store we wanted to go to. It will be perfect.

As I just begin mowing the lawn, coming down between our house and our neighbors house, I see my neighbor standing their holding two cans of beer. Our neighbor is a very kind, sweet hearted elderly Vietnamese gentleman. As I get closer to him he holds out a can of beer for me. I shut off the lawnmower and he says, "You take a break." I open the beer and have a drink with him. I then tell him I have to get back to work. I start mowing the lawn and as I turn around, I see him sitting on the side of the driveway watching me. I go back and forth a few more times and then I call Landry over to me and ask him to go ask either Mom or Payton to bring a couple of lawn chairs out. I quickly finish mowing the lawn and then go sit down with my neighbor. Eventually Kathy, all 3 of my boys, 2 of their friends, the neighbor across the street and his 2 boys as well as a neighbor from down the street and her dog are all sitting in my driveway talking. We did this for nearly 3 hours. I guess Happy Friday, my notes and the trip to the sporting goods store would have to wait. 

Lesson 7: Though I had an exhausting week and there was a lot I wanted to get done, I knew the decision I had made was the right one. Two truths from all this craziness come to mind; 1) People are what matters most. Everything over the course of the past week was not the easiest, it was not the most convenient and it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. The times with family & friends, the memories of the things we did together...those are the things that matter and what I will remember long after I am no longer physically tired. And those things are priceless. 2) The second true-ism is that we make time for the things that are important to us. Sure, we can make excuses and we can even present them in a manner that proves our point. The reality is we can, and will, make time for the people and things that are truly important to us. 

I have got to share one more lesson for you, illustrated in 3 examples.
1. Earlier this week something really big happened in my life. That event is not important, however what happened next is...significantly so. My Beautiful Bride, so sweet & supportive, put a post on Facebook about this event. And then tons of comments poured in...from family & friends, co-workers and former co-workers, from mentors and former bosses, from former coaches and former players. It was amazing, and perfect. As I told you, I was on the road. So I sat in my hotel room by myself, reading and responding to every single comment, sometimes laughing, sometimes with tears in my eyes and always with a great sense of gratitude for the love, encouragement & support others were pouring on me. I am truly blessed beyond measure!

2. There is a video on Facebook where teachers pick a student and they tell the student that he or she is why the teacher does what he or she does, that they are the reason that they get out of bed every morning and look forward to going to work. As you watch these students, some cry, some say thank you, all are stunned and all, in that moment, feel loved, valued & appreciated. The comments cross all race and gender lines. Just people truly valuing and appreciating each other.

3. There is another video on Facebook where someone is telling young girls and women "you are beautiful." Every single one then smiles, almost instantly, and some cry. Three simple words "you are beautiful" and the response is immediate. 

The Final Lesson: We all want to know that we are loved, valued & appreciated. It takes such little time to tell someone that we are happy for them, we believe in them, that they inspire us, that they are beautiful...simple expressions of love, value & appreciation. And yet the impact on the person is profound. I pray that each one of us will think about the significant difference we can make in anothers life be simply speaking life into them and, most importantly, that we will make the effort to do so.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.blogspot.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful Sunday & week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Few Sweet Reminders

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having had a great day and a wonderful week.

Before writing anything, I would like to respectfully ask everyone to please say a prayer for all those whose lives are being touched by Hurricane Matthew. While I type this in the calm of my own home, I am mindful that there are those in Haiti, the Caribbean, Florida, etc. who have lost their lives, who are fighting for their lives and my heart aches for them.

This evening I want to share a few sweet reminders. I shared these on Facebook this week and they continue to speak to my heart powerfully.

"God wants me to love my husband [wife] the way he [she] is today, not the way he [she] will be tomorrow. I have to stop with my expectations and just let God be God. His job is to change my husband [wife], my job is to love my husband [wife], right where he [she] is." - Ngina Otiende

First and foremost Friends, let's rest in the peace of this truth. God doesn't call me to change Kathy, to make her do anything. He calls me to love her, to protect her, to guide her. Nowhere in His expectations of me does He say that I have to make her do this or do that. He simply calls me to love her. If we can just grasp that - it is our job to do the loving, it is God's job to do the changing - the pressure we place on ourselves would be relieved like a great steam valve.

Expectations - we all got 'em and we have no problem placing them...on someone else. What if instead of worrying about someone else changing to be what we think we want or need we simply worked on ourselves? Instead of searching out their weaknesses, we tried to understand and correct our own? What if instead of trying to tell them all the things they could do to make life better, we did all the things they need to make life better for them? Are we courageous enough to surrender them to God in prayer and then ask Him to mold, make & shape us into all He created us to become? The reality is none of us are short on expectations and yet the expectations we place on others are often impossible to meet on a consistent basis. This is not who we are, what we where called to be!

Don't we all really just want to be loved? For who we are? Now? Yes, we are broken, flawed & imperfect...every single one of us. Let's come alongside those we are privileged to do life with in all their ugliness and just love on 'em. If we proclaim to be Christ followers, wouldn't we be wise to follow His example? I for one am eternally grateful that He didn't wait until I got it all right to love me...I would still be waiting!

And finally, while this is written specifically for the husband/wife relationship , I would argue that this quote applies to literally every single relationship. Shouldn't we drop all the expectations, which by the way cannot occur without judgement...think about it, and just come alongside people wherever they are and just love them? The world will look vastly different when we do.

"Anytime you use your God-given abilities to help others, you are fulfilling your calling." - Rick Warren

How about that?!?! By using the abilities you were given by God to help others you are fulfilling your calling. Just be the best you that you can be. See, you lack nothing! You where fearfully & wonderfully made, on purpose, for a purpose. Let us remember this...always.

"Believe in yourself the way God believes in you." - Unknown

Wow! This one blows my mind. Can you imagine? I don't know about you but I can be incredibly critical of myself. I am really good at telling myself all the times I failed, all the things I lack, etc. If we could only catch a glimpse of what God believes about us... He tells us many, many times in the Bible. He loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us so that we could then be able to spend eternity with Him? Do you think He believes in us?!?!

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great evening, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev