Thankful

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as this beautiful new day begins to dawn! I also hope you and your family enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday. I was just talking to my Beautiful Bride about this earlier this week. I think it all really hit me about 9 years ago. My little family had just gone through a season of great trial and, as always, God had delivered us in a miraculous way. We were gathered around the Thanksgiving table, surrounded by our extended family, and I was just grateful...so very grateful, for them. Since that time I get all emotional around Thanksgiving thinking about people that God has placed in my life, in awe of how richly He has blessed my life. That is what I want to write about this Friday, the people. I don't mean this list to be an exhaustive one...the list would be impossibly long as my life has truly been blessed beyond measure. Further, every time I think about another season of life there are tons and tons of people that come to mind who God used powerfully to help me, mold me & shape me into the man I am today. I however don't want to let the fear of excluding someone, of hurting someone's feelings, to stop me from recognizing anyone. So here goes...

I am grateful for:
- A God who loved me enough to create me on purpose for a purpose. Who made me in His own image and who has promised to never leave me nor foresake me. It is the belief in Him and his promises that has carried me through so many days of my life.
- Jesus Christ who walked the face of this earth providing the blueprint for how I am to live my life and then died on a cross for my sins & rose again so that I may enter Heaven when my earthly vessel dies. 
- The Holy Spirit which leads, guides & directs my life every day. When He is in control, we are all good. When I am in control...well, that's not good!
- My Beautiful Bride, Kathy. Wow, just wow! God has used you more powerfully than any other person in my life. I have no clue where I would be without you however it would not be good. You inspire me to be a better man, husband, father & leader every single day. I love, value, cherish & adore you with all my heart.
- My son, Payton. Everything changed the day you were born. Suddenly, as if struck by a bolt of love, I got it. God used you to help me understand what I am called to be as a man, husband, father & leader...you literally changed my life. You have been, and always will be, my Buckaroo.
- My son, Gehrig...appropriately, my gameday baby. You have a heart & spirit that truly amazes me. You see things in others that nobody else sees. I have learned so much by watching you, by seeing the love, mercy & grace you extend to everyone. Serving others, dealing with difficult situations...you are always there. You are different son - this is a GREAT thing! - and God is using you in profound ways.
- My son, Landry. My great Tender Warrior! I have no idea why you believe in me as much as you do however I hope I grow up to be half the man you think I am! :) You are the perfect picture of a great warrior and at the same time such a tender, loving spirit. I am thankful for each and I pray that you will develop both of them, with God's leading, to the very best of your ability.
- My Mom. You poured so much into my life! When I was a boy you would read daily devotionals to me with me only half listening. You never gave up though...never! It was profound to me Mom when I realized it the other day; I don't like to leave the house without Kath reading to me from Jesus Calling - the book that you loved so much and that ultimately became your ministry in giving it to others - each morning as I eat breakfast. God gave me two great women when he chose you to be my Mom and Kath to be my wife...and you handled that hand-off so beautifully - loving Kath as though she were your own daughter. I miss you every single day and I strive valiantly to honor you by putting a smile on my face, a bounce in my step & making each day a great day.
- My Dad. We were so different however I would not be who I am if you were not who you were. I believe to the depths of my soul that you did the very best you could do and above all else, that is all we can expect from anyone. I am so grateful for the life we created together the last several years - God is so good! - and that I got to see you at complete peace.
- My sister, Tammy, brother-in-law, John, and nephew, Adam, spending this Thanksgiving with us in Texas. It has been such a blessing having you here with us, creating new memories, just being together. This time has been so special and I am so very grateful. I am so thankful to have you - as well as Jake & Michelle - in my life and I love you.
- My brother-in-law, Phil. You are such a critically important part of our family and we love you with all our hearts.
- My father-in-law, Sal, and my mother-in-law, Mary. You gave me the greatest earthly gift anyone could give me when you allowed me the honor & privilege of marrying your daughter. I know no other way of expressing my deep gratitude other than leading, guiding & protecting her with deep love & admiration, with God's leading and to the very best of my ability, every day of my life.
 - The Godly men God has placed in my life - Mark Linder, AJ Taylor, Bobby Dean, Jason Wright, Kevin Minnifield, Jason Stearns, Rob Pickles, Stephen Ponder, Steve Hettinga to name a few. We have leaned on each other, prayed for and with each other. I am grateful for each one of you.
- My college football teammates. They believed in me. Specifically, they thought I was smart way before I thought I was...seriously. They started talking about how smart I was and all the sudden I felt like I had to try really hard in class to be who they thought I was. Because of them a kid who limped into New Mexico Highlands University with a GPA hovering around a 2.0 never got a grade lower than an A- all the way through my Masters Degree. All because some people believed in me.
- George Martinez, Dennis Wagner, Steve Stanard, Mary Beth Kennedy, Pete Chapman, Al Fleumer, Jim Bagnall, Paris Watts, Stephen Ponder, Dave Willis, Margo Wolanin & Betsy Clardy - You all believed in me and gave me an opportunity. 
- My former players. You have no clue how richly you have blessed my life. It was truly an honor & privilege to be your coach. 
- Deb Souza & Joyce McBurney - Your belief in me, and non-stop encouragement, has inspired me to strive to be the leader you think I am every single day. 
- Stephen Ponder - The opportunity you gave me changed everything! I am also so very grateful for that great, pure heart that beats within your chest.
- Dave Kinard & Megan Gormley Edwards - Thank you for believing in me and for encouraging me. "What Will Your Influence Be...?" would not exist if not for the two of you.
- Margo Wolanin - You believe in me. I sure hope I grow up to be all that you think I am! :)
- The countless men & women I have had the honor & privilege to meet through my work as a development officer. I have met great physicians, lawyers, engineers, business leaders, pilots, athletes...it is crazy! Me! How? Why? I decided a long time ago to stop questioning why God has chosen to bless me so richly and simply be fully present in each and every moment...and take a lot of notes!
- The countless men & women I have had the honor & privilege of serving. I am so thankful for the love, mercy & grace you have extended to me...and patience too! Please know that while I am not yet all that I can be, I am a lot more than I used to be and it is due in large part to each one of you and the role you have played in my life.

I need to end this because I could literally sit here and write all day - plus my Beautiful Bride & Tender Warriors are up...and the biscuits & gravy are almost done! :)

Two things I want to end with:
1. It doesn't escape me that so many people I am grateful for are the one's who believe(d) in me. Friends, let's look for the good in people, no matter the amounts of dirt we have to move to find it. We can literally change the trajectory of a life simply by the words we speak into the life of another.

2. I want to encourage you to write out a list of the people you are grateful for - whether it is mental or on a sheet of paper. It changes your perspective on a whole lot of things when you think of reasons to be grateful.

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What's In The Well?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day is beginning to dawn! We are 6 days from Thanksgiving, we have a full day of college football tomorrow & the #5 team in the country has already gone down (apologies to my Friends in Louisville!)...a blessed life indeed!

Last week I wrote about the things we choose to believe - how we are defined, in who or what we put our faith & hope. This week I want to take the next step, to talk about the things we fill ourselves with - the things we pouring into our well (the heart) for these things will determine what  comes out in our thoughts, words & actions. A few things on the front end to emphasis the importance of what we so often leave to chance or comfort, if we even think about it at all.

"Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny." - Mahatma Gandhi

You see Friends, it is sequential. If you believe like Gandhi & I do, everything begins with what we choose to believe. I think it is also worth noting that Gandhi said,

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." 

- Mahatma Gandhi

Sadly, his statement is very accurate. And I am pretty sure it is due to the things that get poured down into the well. While the initial belief might be in God, if the things that are poured down into the well are not Godly, it is impossible to think, speak & act in a Godly manner.

I have shared this quote before and I will continue to do so as it resonated with me so deeply when I first heard it:

"What's in the well will always come up in the bucket." - Pastor Ken Whitten

Maybe quotes and thoughts of others don't speak to you. Let me give you this example; do me a favor and go get a glass. Please pour your favorite soft drink in the glass. Now take a nice long drink of water from that glass. What?!?! Quit looking at your computer screen like that! If it doesn't matter what is poured in, take a drink of water out of the glass you just filled with a soft drink. You see, what is poured in is always what comes back out - literally & figuratively!

And let me please offer you some encouragement on the front end. Now that you have a glass filled with a soft drink that you really didn't want - you shouldn't be drinking soft drinks this early in the morning anyways! :) - please go get a glass of water. Please do this over a sink our out in the yard. Now pour the water into the glass filled with the soft drink. Yes it is going to overflow...keep pouring, it will take a while. Keep pouring and pouring until the water has replaced the soft drink (for maximum affect, use a Coke or a Pepsi). Eventually the clear, refreshing water will replace the soft drink. If you have been pouring bad stuff down your well, it is going to take a while for the clear, life giving stuff to fill your well. Don't be discouraged and don't give up! As surely as the water replaced the soft drink, life-giving thoughts, words & actions will spring from your well when you repeatedly fill it with life-giving stuff!

Perhaps words of wisdom and examples aren't your thing...let me give you a couple of scriptures:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4: 23

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1: 27

If you aren't convinced now, I give up. Just know this, God never will! :)

So let me ask you Friends, what are you pouring into your well?

1. What are the things you look at and read? Is it positive? Encouraging? Is it based on truth, real truth? Does it make your spirit come alive or does it make you feel bad? Down? Dirty? Does it teach you to love, value & respect everyone - including yourself! - or does it teach you to judge, look down on others, put others down, etc.? What's in the well will always come up in the bucket!

The things we look at and read do affect the heart. We don't need to read everything that is out there and we must diligently guard our hearts as Proverbs teaches. I am not saying that we are blind to what is going on around us...I am saying that we need to thoughtfully weed the seeds that are dropped into the gardens of our heart. And by the way, while I don't need to read the details of someone else's failure, I can pray for them. We can choose to read things that help us grow to the fullness of who we were created to be instead of reading junk about someone else's life that somehow makes me feel better about mine. I can choose to look at and read things that are positive, encouraging & life-giving or I can choose to look at and read things that are negative, depressing & death-producing. The choice is mine, just as it is yours, however we are not free from the consequences of that choice. What's in the well will always come up in the bucket!

2. What are the things you are listening to? Same questions as above apply! Don't want to answer them all simply do this; listen to yourself. What are the words you are speaking? They will be a direct reflection of the things you are listening to.

Words are so very powerful! Have you listened to us?!?! We love to sit around and just pick someone apart! Why?!?! Do we really think it is good to sit around and listen to someone tell us how bad, horrible, pathetic, etc. someone else is? The reality is we are all bad, horrible & pathetic anyways! :) The only thing listening to this stuff does is affect the way we then act towards the person of the attack. We might not even know that person or ever had a negative interaction with them and yet, because of what someone else said - what we listened to - we treat them poorly. What's in the well will always come up in the bucket!

The Bible has a whole lot to say about words. And please remember, communication has two components - speaking & listening...look & listen for both components in each of these scriptures.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." - Proverbs 18: 21

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." - Ephesians 4: 29

"But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person." - Matthew 15 :18

"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth." - Colossians 3: 8

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." - Luke 6: 45

Look Friends, all I am saying is your life is way to valuable & precious to fill it with negativity, death & destruction. God created you for so much more and Jesus was crucified so you don't have to live that kind of life. Please thoughtfully, intentionally choose this day - and every day that follows - what will fill your well.

Earlier I shared Proverbs 4: 23 (a Haslam family favorite!) with you. I want to close by sharing verses 24 - 27:

Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or left; keep your foot from evil.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What's Your Source?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds y'all having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning!

Most "Happy Friday's" I write from the perspective of ,"what will your influence be on others?" This week I want to come at it from the other side; "what will you allow to be the influences in your life?" More specifically, what are you pouring into your heart? For what you pour into your own heart determines what your words & actions will be and this then determines what your influence will be in the lives of others.

I believe it is only fair that I am upfront with you from the very beginning. I believe in God; that He created everything - including you & me - on purpose for His purpose; that He is completely Holy, without sin; that the punishment for sin is death & complete separation from God; that we, as human beings, are flawed with great sin; that there is nothing you or I can do to save ourselves; that God sent his Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins; that by accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Personal Savior we are forgiven of our sins; and that through the acceptance of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Personal Savior we are able to cross the great chasm that exists from this life to Heaven. You may or may not believe what I believe and I certainly respect your right to believe whatever you choose to believe. I don't think I am better than you and I certainly don't feel I have any right, or reason for that matter, to judge you or to be critical of you, your values or your beliefs. I simply share my beliefs on the front end as they shape the perspective from which what is on my heart this morning will be shared.

Who or what do you allow - “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt - to define you? Is it a person? Is it a career? Is it a gift or ability? If it is any of these things Friends, I want to urge great caution. People are flawed and broken, we all are in some way, to some degree. Careers end and can be taken away in an instant. Gifts & abilities fade and there is always someone a little more gifted or talented. These things, by which so many establish their value, worth & identity, eventually fade. There is however God, who never does. Will you allow Him to define you? Will you dare to dive into the Bible and read what the Word of God says about you? Each one of us will choose someone or something that we allow or use to define us. How are you defined?

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;"

- Psalm 139: 14

"We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you..."

1 Thessalonians 1:4

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

- Luke 12:7

Who or what are you putting your faith & hope in? We are all placing it in someone or something. Either ourselves, another person, a group of people and yes, some even place their faith & hope in God. How about you? This is a critically important question to answer because it will then determine how we view the things that are happening around us. If we are putting our faith & hope in ourselves or other people, we are going to have great stress/anxiety when we or they stumble, lose, struggle, etc. We view this as a threat to our future, to our hope. If however our faith & hope is in God, who never stumbles, loses, struggles, etc., then we know that the victory has already been achieved. In reading the Bible we know that struggles will come, that there will be difficult days however we also know that God has promised to never leave or foresake us, to strengthen us and to uphold us. How about the people we place our faith & hope in? First I must say, they aren't even capable of doing these things. Not that they might not want to, they very well might wish they could. They however are human and incapable of saving you & I...only God can do that. And even if they promised to do these things, they will not be able to do so because they are, well, human - flawed, broken & imperfect, just like you & me. Please, thoughtfully consider in who, in what, you will place your faith & hope.

"Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing." 

- Psalm 146: 3 - 4 (NIV)

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

- Isaiah 41:10

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

I guess for today I am going to leave it there, respectfully asking you to consider how you are defined and in what you will place your faith & hope. I also want to respectfully encourage you to pick up a Bible and begin reading the New Testament, to read what God's word says about you. Please remember, the things we pour into our hearts & minds - the things we listen to, read & look at - are going to create the quality of water that flows from our well, the heart.

I began this post by telling you the things I believe - Who defines me and in Whom I place my faith & hope. I am going to close by telling you a few things I believe about you. I believe that you are priceless! That you are a unique, one of a kind miracle, created on purpose for a great purpose. I believe that you lack nothing to fulfill your earthly purpose. I believe that I am called to serve you in any way I can. I believe that above all else I am called to love you. Please note these beliefs have nothing to do with your race, religion, sexual orientation, political views, etc.  They have everything to with God and what the Bible tells me about you.

Oh yeah, and one more thing:

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

- Luke 6:37

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

The Little Things

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday!

This week I want to share a few thoughts/ideas about little things.

1. Earlier this week while listening to the radio, the announcers were talking about the scriptures that tell us to be joyful at all times, to give thanks in all circumstances, etc. If you have ever read 1 Thessalonians 5:16, chances are you have found this scripture challenging, to put it mildly. Most times however what we are doing is thinking of the "big stuff." What about when a child dies? When anything bad happens to someone we deem to be good? The perspective shift the announcers offered was profound to me.

Instead of talking about the "big stuff," they talked about the little things, the minor annoyances that we let blow up and try to make into big stuff. They said for example, instead of getting upset the next time you are stuck in traffic, look at it as an opportunity to spend more time with your kids. Instead of getting upset with someone because of the way they are acting, talking, etc., look at it as an opportunity to show love, mercy & grace. I got it. This made complete sense to me...perhaps to you too.

2. So being all fired up about the "little things" this week, I thought about the things that help us achieve our goals. We all want to win, however "win" is defined in your chosen vocational endeavor. However it is all the little things we do, day in and day out, that create the "win." If we simply focus on the "win" our chances of achieving it are greatly diminished. If however we focus on the little things, the process, that creates the "win," our opportunities for success increase ten-fold. 

3. And to wrap this whole thing up as people, it is the little things in our daily interactions that make the greatest differences. The people in your life don't want the things you can buy them, they simply want you, fully present. Instead of trying to buy peoples love, affection & happiness, what if we did all the little things to daily walk out our love, value & appreciation of them? You see Friends, we chase the big things in our relationships too, when in fact it is the little things, placed one on top of the other, that build the relationships we all want.

I thought I would wrap up this little message with a few quotes/thoughts for us to ponder as 
we learn to see the significance in the little things.

"One word can end a fight; one hug can start a friendship; one smile can bring unity; one person can change your entire life!" - Israelmore Ayivor

"Without water drops, there can be no oceans; without steps, there can be no stairs; without little things, there can be no big things!" - Mehmet Murat ildan

"Do the little things. In the future when you look back, they'd have made the greatest change." - Nike Thaddeus

"Find magic in the little things, and the big things you always expected will start to show up." - Isa Zapata

"Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains." - Marilyn French

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev