Let It Hit Home

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day is dawning on the Texas Gulf Coast.

I have a few things I want to share this morning, all are not really connected, just a burden on the heart and a couple of things I thought you might find useful.

Last Friday I had a business meeting in San Antonio. I had a flight out after 10:00 a.m. and I would return later that night, getting home around 8:30 p.m.

Right around 8:00 a.m., as I was heading towards the I45, my Beautiful Bride called to tell me there were reports of an active shooter at Santa Fe High School. As I pulled onto the interstate and drove the 13 miles north to the airport, 7 emergency vehicles - mostly patrol cars - went screaming down the I45 south. Your prayers are a lot different when you know where those incredibly brave first responders are headed.

What we would later learn was that 30 minutes before Kath called me evil reared its head at Santa Fe High School. 10 people would lose their lives, more than 10 others - including a police officer who had engaged the shooter within 3 minutes of his assault - were injured. A community is devastated and a nation mourns.

There is a phrase that I have heard over and over again this past week that just doesn't sit well with my heart. "That was too close to home" or "That hit close to home." I know that the people saying it do not mean anything bad by it however it just doesn't feel right to me.

If I plug Santa Fe High School into my cell phone it tells me it is exactly 9.8 miles from where I sit typing this Happy Friday. When I went to church last Sunday I learned that 3 victims of the shooting - I don't know if it is the deceased or injured - had ties to our church. The policeman who encountered the gunman right away? He lives in the neighborhood right next to my church. My son is to play on a summer American Legion baseball team with a boy who was shot through the neck and miraculously survived. No, it doesn't feel at all like it hit close to home, it feels like it hit home. No, it was not my child or parent that was shot however it was someone's child, it was someone's parent. While my pain is nowhere near their pain, I feel great pain for them. 

What's my point? I really don't know, I just know I am not comfortable being callous to it, pretending like it didn't happen or that families where not greatly affected. Though the loss did not directly affect me or my family it does directly affect us all. So what do we do? Honestly, I don't know. I will simply share my post Facebook post from last Saturday:

Sometimes there really are no words...there is simply faith in God. Today I claim His promises.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Have a blessed day Friends!

Yes, even in tragedy, even with a broken heart, even with tears in your eyes, What Will YOUR Influence Be...?

As you & I determine what our influence will be I want to share the words of a Santa Fe minister from a service last Sunday.

"We have created a culture that does not value life, that does not honor God, that does not respect authority. We are reaping the consequences of those actions, and that's not going to be reversed by a security guard or a metal detector."

The minister also added:

"The long-term goal is to change hearts."

And,

"We're allowing the culture to raise our kids."

There is some great calls to action in the words of this minister. The other thing I want to share with you, a part of your influence I want to encourage you to consider; when I got home shortly after 8:00 p.m. last Friday night I backed my truck into the driveway. My 3 Tender Warriors and one of their friends from Arizona were playing basketball out front. I got out of the truck and walked up to each one of them and simply gave them a hug, including the sweet friend, without saying a word.

A couple of other things I want to share with you...

In the Haslam family we often use the expression, "speak life." By it we mean be positive, speak the outcomes we seek...speak life. This week I came across a quote that captures "speak life" perfectly, beautifully.

"Speak Life:
You are loved.
You have purpose.
You are a masterpiece.
You are wonderfully made.
God has a great plan for you." - Germany Kent

And I want to share another great tool from Jon Gordon.
"5 Ways to Think Like a Champion
1. Champions Expect to Win - When they walk on the court, on the field, into a meeting or in a classroom they expect to win. In fact they are surprised when they don't win. They expect success and their positive beliefs often lead to positive actions and outcomes. They win in their mind first and then they win in the hearts and minds of their customers, students or fans.

2. Champions Celebrate the Small Wins - By celebrating the small wins champions gain the confidence to go after the big wins. Big wins and big success happen through the accumulations of many small victories. This doesn't mean champions become complacent. Rather, with the right kind of celebration and reinforcement, champions work harder, practice more and believe they can do greater things.

3. Champions Don't Make Excuses When They Don't Win - They don't focus on the faults of others. They focus on what they can do better. They see their mistakes and defeats as opportunities for growth. As a result they become stronger, wiser and better.

4. Champions Focus on What they Get To Do, Not What They Have To Do - They see their life and work as a gift not an obligation. They know that if they want to achieve a certain outcome they must commit to and appreciate the process. They may not love every minute of their journey but their attitude and will helps them develop their skill.

5. Champions Believe They Will Experience More Wins in the Future - Their faith is greater than their fear. Their positive energy is greater than the chorus of negativity. Their certainty is greater than all the doubt. Their passion and purpose are greater than their challenges. In spite of their situation champions believe their best days are ahead of them, not behind them."

You, Sweet Friends, were created to be Champions!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

More Tools

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast. This is a special Friday in the Haslam family...it is the last Friday we will have any pre-teens in our home. Yes, the Little Preacher turns 13-years old next Monday. Such a blessed journey with each of our Tender Warriors!

This morning I want to share a few things with you, more tools for your toolbox if you will. I hope & trust you will find them useful as you strive to be an intentional, positive influence.

The first thing I want to share with you is a quote that I think absolutely nails it! It inspires my Soul...

"Some people say, "Once you learn to be happy you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less." My Christ says, "Your job is to get off your self righteous butt and start reaching out to the difficult people because my ministry wasn't about a bunch of nice people getting together once a week to sing hymns and get a feel good message, that you may or may not apply, depending on the depth of your anger for someone. It is about caring for and helping the broken hearted, the difficult, the hurt, the misunderstood, the repulsive, the wicked and the liars. It is about turning the other cheek when someone hurts you. It is about loving one another and making amends. It is allowing people as many chances as they need because God gives them endless chances. When you do this then you will know me and you will know true happiness and peace. Until then, you will never know who I really am. You will always be just a fan or a Sunday only warrior. You will continue to represent who you are to the world, but not me. I am the God that rescues." - Shannon L. Alder

Another quote...it starts with a choice, a decision.

"Your one decision to be a positive leader will not only impact your life, but your relationships, your family, your friends, and your team. A life touches a life that touches a life. A person changes and they help others change. A leader inspires others and develops more leaders. The seed you plant today becomes the harvest you enjoy tomorrow." - Jon Gordon

Here is another tool from Jon Gordon...you will see a lot of him this morning. You can find many more tools from Jon at JonGordon.com.

My Best Advice for Graduates

and Anyone with a Dream

"1. Where you are now is not where you are going to be.

2. You don't have to be perfect to start. Just start.

3. Don't be afraid to fail.

4. Sometimes you have to lose a goal to find your destiny.

5. You are here for a reason. You have a purpose and you are meant to live and share it.

6. You don't have to be great. You just have to have a great desire to be your best and bring out the best in others.

7. Ignore the critics. Just show up each day and do the work.

8. Stay Positive. God has a plan!

9. If you believe your best days are ahead of you, they are. The best is yet to come." - Jon Gordon

A reminder...

"Don't rush the future. There is a process that seeds must go through in order to become all they are destined to become, and you must go through this same process to become the person you are meant to be and do the work you are meant to do. You may want things to happen NOW but more than likely if you got what you wanted NOW you wouldn't be ready for it. The purpose process prepares you, strengthens you, shapes you and grows you to be successful, not in your time, but in the right time." - Jon Gordon

Critically important...

"Your kids need your affirmation. They want to know you are proud of them, believe in them, and love them. Show them and tell them." - John Finch

"7 words every child needs to hear - 'I'm very proud to be your Dad.'" - John Finch

A great rule for men, husbands & fathers...

"We only have 1 rule at Duke and we call it the man's rule. 'Be where you're supposed to be! Doing what you're supposed to be doing! As well as you can possibly do it!'" - David Cutcliffe

What type of leader will you choose to be?

What is Servant Leadership?

• Servant-leaders achieve results for their organizations by giving priority attention to the needs of their colleagues and those they serve. Servant-leaders are often seen as humble stewards of their organization's resources (human, financial and physical).
• Servant Leadership is not a concept or a principle. It is an inner standard of living.
• Some may suggest that servant leaders are weak. However, nothing could be further from the truth. They model integrity, where their thoughts, words and actions flow from a consistent desire.
• Servant leaders are not leaders on the basis of their position or leadership role, but rather lead according to their calling, vision and principles. - Unknown

What Will Your Influence Be...?

"Someone saw something in you that enabled you to believe you could lead.

 (Be that person for others.)" - Unknown

Another reminder for Dads...

"Your actions show that your words are true. Speak loudly through what you do so your kids will believe what you say." - John Finch

Another tool from Jon Gordon...

"Every moment of every day we have a choice to think positive thoughts that make us feel good or negative thoughts that make us feel bad.

The key is to start paying attention to your feelings and thoughts and when you are feeling bad, switch to a thought that feels good.

You may not like your job but you can be thankful that you have one. You may not like sitting in traffic but you can be thankful you have a car when others do not. While your life may not be where you want it to be you can choose to believe that the future is bright and great things are happening every day.

Your thoughts and perception will determine your reality.

Here are a few actions you can take to help:

1. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side make a list of your common negative thoughts.

2. Now, change your perception and replace your negative thought with a positive thought. Write these on the right side of the paper.

3. This week pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and choose the thoughts that make you feel more positive.

It may sound like a simple exercise but it work. Git it a try. You'll be glad you did." - Jon Gordon

What are you fighting for?

"Life is about relationships, not accomplishments.

It's as simple as this: You can have the eloquence of an orator, the knowledge of a genius, the faith of a miracle worker, the generosity of a philanthropist, or the achievements of a superstar, but if you don't have love in your heart, it is worth zero. It doesn't count. The only thing that matters to God is this: Do you love Him, and do you love other people?

One day you're going to die and you're going to stand before God. When He evaluates your life, He's not going to look at your bank account or your list of accomplishments or your grades. He won't care about all your sports trophies. He's not going to look at your endorsements or your resume.

God is going to evaluate your life on one basis: your relationships. He's going to ask, "How much did you love me and other people?" That's called the Great Commandment. Did you love God with all your heart, and did you love your neighbor as yourself?" - Jon Gordon

A lot of tools...now we just gotta choose to use 'em! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebelcom.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What YOU Do Matters

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! Is it just me or do days, and weeks, seem to be flying by at a faster rate?!?! School year almost over, high school baseball season over, prom this weekend...oh my! I am reminded at this moment how important it is to live fully present in every moment! :)

This morning I want to share a simple quote with you and expand upon it.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

My hope & prayer is that we will all be thoughtful in our direction and intentional in our actions. Let's break this down a little bit.

The first thing that hits me is, "Act as if..." Isn't it funny how we will act differently based upon what we perceive the outcome of an action to be? If we think something positive or beneficial to us will come out of a specific action we tend to attack it with great effort & enthusiasm, ignoring annoyance, problems & challenges. On the other hand, if we don't see the positive or beneficial outcome, we become aloof, we are irritated by the tiniest pebble and we will often give a half-hearted effort, quit quickly or not even begin at all. The interesting thing is we tend to look at things as events, not processes. Life however is not one singular event but rather a series of events. It can sometimes be hard to see the connection of one singular action to the life we live. What if, however, we lived [acted] as if every single thing we did made a difference? Would you, and I, be living the way we did yesterday? Note to self - this is a new day and I am not bound by the things I did yesterday! :) I can choose to be different, to do different, TODAY! I can recognize, and act, as if what I do does make the difference it does!

So I want to offer a few things to you to consider:
1. What are you pouring into your heart, mind & Spirit? It matters. This is the first step in determining your actions. Are the things you are watching, reading & listening to life giving, and are they leading you to becoming the best version of yourself? What you, and I, pour into our hearts, minds & Spirits determines our thoughts, perspectives, words and ultimately, our actions. I pray we will act as if what we are pouring into our hearts, minds & Spirits makes a difference. It does.

2. What is the quality of our thoughts? Do we think positive, encouraging, uplifting thoughts? About ourselves & others? Do we think thoughts of hope, or despair? Do we fight the battle when the negative thoughts come? Or do we just go down the slippery slope of negative thoughts? About life? About people? About circumstances? Yes Sweet Friends, everyone has this battle in their minds. The negatives come to all of us. Do we rise up as mighty warriors and fight back the negativity of our thoughts or do we sheepishly follow wherever the latest thought or feeling leads us? I pray we will act is if our thoughts make a difference. They do.

3. What are the words we speak? To ourselves and others? Are they life-giving? Do they build up? Or tear down? Are we speaking life into people & situations? Or are we speaking death & negativity? I pray we will act is if the words we speak make a difference. They do.

4. What are the actions we take? Are the things we are doing on a daily basis adding value to others, to society or are we a drain, something to be overcome? Are we even acting when we see the lost? The hurting? The broken? Or do we fearfully, timidly sit by, refusing to act at all? Refusing to actively take part in this life? Waiting to be served, waiting for someone else to be the one to make it better, waiting for someone else to fix the problem? I pray we will act as if what we do makes a difference. It does.

This morning Friends I want to encourage us all to be intentional. I get it, the days fly by and it can be hard to see how I choose to start my day can impact the meeting I have at 4:00 p.m. today - who schedules a meeting at 4:00 p.m. on a Friday?!?! - however it does. Everything we pour into our hearts, minds & Spirits affects our thoughts which affects our words which affects our actions which determines the lives we live. Please don't leave this to chance. Determine, and be determined, to live your life intentionally. The outcomes you & I see in our lives are the fruits of our actions; what we pour in, our thoughts, our words & our actions are the roots. I pray we will water them well.

I also want to share a power excerpt from a talk I heard yesterday morning by Carol Kent on Focus on the Family. She was giving a talk titled, "Trusting God When the Unthinkable Happens." This talk was part 2 of 2 talks. You can listen to Carol's powerful, emotional talk at focusonthefamily.com. As she was wrapping up her talk she shared these powerful words.

"And I began sharing our story. On Christmas Day a year ago, I was in the ladies' room in a stall at the prison. And a woman came in. She was just cussing. She was hyperventilating. She was weeping. She said, "I hate this place! I hate these people! I think I'm having a nervous breakdown!"

The old professional me would have gotten up. I would have put my arm around her. I would have quoted my five best verses on suffering. And I would have prayed over her and said, "Honey, you're gonna be okay."

The "new" me wept with her. I didn't even quote one Bible verse. She wasn't ready for my Scripture. She just needed to know that one other person cared. God is showing me that broken people minister to broken people. So, if you're broken, that's good.

As we continued to live in a very different kind of normal for us, God's reminded us of 2 Corinthians 4:16, "So, we're not giving up! How could we? Even though on the outside, it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace."

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What Are You Fighting For?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as this brand new opportunity, we call it a day, begins to dawn! This opportunity is a blank canvas...you have the paint brush...create a masterpiece! :)

This morning I want to encourage you to pause for a moment on this wonderful journey called life, check your current location, take a look at the map and chart your course for the next phase of your journey. My hope is that you and I will thoughtfully consider what we are fighting for.

Picture the map. You are at a rest area on some highway, or perhaps at a mall or some huge building that you have never been to before. You search for the red star that says, "You Are Here." This tells you where you are and you are then able to see where you are wanting to go and you can chart your course moving forward. So the question is, where are you this morning? On the journey of life? Please pause and think about it. Look at your life, your family, your friends, your career, perhaps your physical location. Does it line up with where you want to go? Do you need to adjust your course?

I want to share a story with you. Earlier this week I met with a man at one of the largest, most successful - as defined by shares, money, corporate influence - companies in the world. He told me about a time, many years ago, when his work as he climbed the corporate latter required him to travel all the time. His daughter had a program coming up at school, she wanted him to be there and he promised he would attend. A couple of days before the program he learned that he would have to travel out of the country for a business trip the day of the program. The night before he left, the night before her program, he told her he would not be able to attend. She cried bitterly. She just wanted her Dad to be at her program. They had gone to bed that night with her upset. The next morning the Dad woke up to find a note from his precious little girl. It told the Dad how much she loved him, that she understood that he had to travel and that she would be o.k. The Dad took the note and headed out on his trip. The Dads eyes were piercing, growing moist as he told me this story. As he was sitting on a train he pulled the note out, looked at it and thought to himself, "What am I doing?" He had caught a glimpse of his red star - "You Are Here" - and did not like what he saw. He immediately turned around, went back home and was there for the program. This was a defining moment in his life, one that impacts the decisions he makes to this day. And he keeps that note with him constantly to remind him where he is going.

He also shared a story of one of the former CEO's of this company. He talked told me how this man was one of the greatest leaders he has ever seen. The company flourished under his leadership. There was great respect & admiration for this man's leadership skills & abilities. And at the same time he told me of multiple divorces, of children the man did not know and in fact, some who were actually suing their Dad.

I cannot tell you or anyone else, and nobody can tell me, what we should fight for. We all have to make those decisions ourselves, understanding that with every decision their is a sacrifice. Is it possible to be a great CEO and spouse/parent/friend? I believe so and I don't want to be misleading about it. I don't think this has to be an either/or. It is, however, about priorities. It's about leading your life and making sure, in the end, we end up at the destination we intended.

Stephen Covey, in The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, lists Habit #2 as "Begin With The End In Mind." On his website, which you will find at stephencovey.com, he describes it this way:

"So what do you want to be when you grown up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you - right now - who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty - successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster."

So where are you this morning Friend? On the journey of your life, are you on the right highway to get you to the destination you intend to arrive? Is your ladder leaning against the right wall? Please take time to reflect and assess your journey.

For me I have found it helpful to ask myself, "What am I fighting for?" If I "win" this battle, spend time with my Beautiful Bride & Tender Warriors, complete this project, get this promotion or job, etc. is it accomplishing what I want to accomplish? Am I becoming who I want to become? Am I loving and valuing the people who are on this journey with me - critically important question as we all only get one journey through this life? If, as Stephen says, we will begin with the end in mind - yes, I am talking about your memorial service...what does it look like? who is there? what will they say about the life you lived? - we can chart the course we want to live, set our priorities and fight our battles accordingly.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev