Wake Up!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! Such a wonderful, special, blessed day to me...

Are you awake? If you are reading this I assume you are physically awake - your eyes are at least half open! - however are you truly awake?

In the conclusion to his book, On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life, John O'Leary talks about awakening. In it he tells a sweet story about he and his kids traveling to the city on the subway. While those who regularly ride the train slumber, mindlessly starting the day, his kids are fully alive & awake, excited for this new adventure. Can you remember? Can you relate? A few years ago I shared a story in a Happy Friday about my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, helping me wash the car. I was going through the same old motions, doing the same old things, getting the job done. Landry? Well, I would hear a clicking sound and then the short "swoosh" sound as water left the nozzle. Click. Swoosh. Click. Swoosh. Wondering what in the heck was going on I went over to him. He wanted to know what "jet", "shower", "spray", etc. meant. He was wide awake, having a blast as his Dad slumbered.

When I read John's words I felt a conviction in my spirit...a, hmmm, wake up call. It is so easy to sleepwalk through this life however that is not really living! Have you ever gotten to work and you couldn't remember the drive there? You mindlessly drove your car to work, lost in the worries and cares of your day? Yeah, me too. And yet every single day I drive across a causeway, taking me from the mainland to the island where I work...talk about awe and wonder! A native Arizonan and I can mindlessly make this drive, surrounded by water, people fishing, seagulls flying, ships in the harbor...seriously?!?! At 6-years old I would have caused a traffic jam because I would have been going so slow trying to take it all in.

And while this example can be somewhat humorous, what about our marriages? Raising our kids? I am sure you and I are always fully present, right?!?! It's o.k., you don't have to answer! :)

What's not o.k. however is to keep sleepwalking once we are aware we are doing it. Don't sit there and have an argument with yourself right now. Please don't try to justify the things you do or don't do. It is really simple, we are either living fully present or we are not. While we might not like the answer this morning, the beautiful part is we can change it. It is a choice. A choice to be fully present. To put down the phone when your significant other, child, friend, or even a stranger, is talking to you. It is a conscious choice to be wherever you are...

As I have thought about being fully present this week I have done a little studying and have a few things I want to share with you.

1. One of the first things I thought of was Matthew 18:3 where Jesus says, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you change and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." Does it strike anyone else as ironic that we, the adults, think we have to teach everything to our kids and yet it is them who are preaching a beautiful sermon to us simply by how they live their lives?!?! Just sayin'! Anyways, I came across an article written by AniMaamin titled The Reason Why God Wants You To Become Like a Little Child. You can read the full article at ccsouthbay.org. Here is a little excerpt from the article:
What Qualities Does a Child Have?
- A child is innocent.
- A child is trusting.
- A child believes without complication.
- A child has not had time to allow the preconceived notions of the world to form his decision-making process.
- A child receives with joy, forgetting herself with light-hearted abandonment.
- A child is humble.
- A child is content in the little things.
- A child has the faith to move mountains.
- A child is awed by majestic splendor.
- A child takes to heart God's Word in all its simplicity.

What would our lives look like if we lived with the qualities of a child? When I grow up I sure hope I can have the qualities of a child!!!

2. Remember when I asked about being present with your significant other and kids? Perhaps you will find this quote helpful:

"If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." - C. M. Wallace

3. Here is a little challenge for us...

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

You and I get to choose which way we will live...100% our choice. And the consequences of that choice are 100% ours as well!

4. And finally, I want to share a couple of excerpts from On Fire:
"Every great spiritual teacher discusses the importance of being fully awake; of learning to live in the present moment. Not fixated on when things might get good in the future. Not mired in regret or defeat from something that happened in the past. But here. In this moment. In today."

"Every day holds the potential of a miracle.
Every moment, the seemingly positive or negative, provides the opportunity for possibility and beauty.
But you've got to open your eyes to see it. You've got to wake up."

It is a new day Friends! We can choose to wake up and to live fully present! This is my hope & prayer for each one of us today!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev 

I Got The Book!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday afternoon on the Texas Gulf Coast. After several days of rain in a row it is so awesome to see the sun again...even if it means very high humidity!

Before diving into the meat of this Happy Friday, I want to share two thoughts - one extremely serious and the other, well, that will just be "Kev being goofy 'ol Kev!"

First, for the serious part...
I have the greatest wife in the world for me! Did you catch those last two words? They are critically important. As I thought about how amazing I want to tell you my wife is, how blessed I am to have her, how my life would be so much less without her, I felt this very strong conviction to share those last two words. You see, I don't want to say, "I have the greatest wife in the world," though to me I do as she is my whole world, because that statement then begs comparison. If you are a wife or have a wife, I am not saying that my wife is better than you or your wife. We are all running our own races and I hope the only thing any one of us is trying to do is to be better than we were yesterday, to relentlessly pursue the potential that God has placed in each one of us. 

So yes, I have the greatest wife in the world for me! She completes me and when we are communicating, walking this journey together and fighting for our relationship, for our family, for what is important to us, I feel we can conquer anything. I have no idea why God blessed me so richly but I am beyond grateful that He did. 

Now for the "Kev being goofy 'ol Kev" part...
You wanna know how amazing she is? I have no idea where she got the idea however she got me the greatest book for Father's Day! It is written by John O'Leary and it is titled, On Fire; The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. You are truly amazing honey! How you come up with these wonderful gift ideas is beyond me!
(For those of you who did not read Happy Friday last week - shame on you! :) - I dropped a couple of not so subtle hints about a certain book she might want to get me for Father's Day)

O.K., to the point now. First & foremost, I want to strongly encourage y'all to get this book! John is amazing, his story is absolutely incredible - I have laughed, I have cried - and he is a brilliant, truly inspiring, writer. I can't put the thing down! I have to make myself stop so I can read more tomorrow! And the above mentioned Beautiful Bride is beyond tired of hearing, "Honey! Listen to this!" I would also encourage you to visit his website at johnolearyinspires.com.

So, with this Happy Friday I want to share 10 excerpts from his book with you. Y'all have no idea how hard it was for me to keep it to just 10! I had 2...before I was even done with the introduction!! And, I am not even done reading the book!! I trust these words will speak to your heart as they have to mine.

"A radically inspired life means you embrace the lessons from your past, actively engage in the miracle of each moment, and ignite the limitless possibility of tomorrow. Now, it certainly doesn't mean a painless existence of error-free living. Far from it. But a radically inspired life means you possess the ability to learn from past mistakes, rise above personal challenges, and thrive in life, no matter your circumstances."

"I write this book to wake you up to the reality that you have one life to live, one opportunity to impact, and one legacy to author. Whether your life story is an epic to celebrate or a tragedy to mourn has little to do with the events within your life and everything to do with the manner in which you respond to those events. From now on, no more sleepwalking; no more accidental living."

"We all have that choice. We choose to vibrantly go about life, soak it up, embrace it, and celebrate it, or we choose not to. No one else can make this decision for us.
We get one life.
We either choose to live.
Or we choose to die."

"Our mask covers what we've been through, what we know to be important, and what we are afraid to share with others. Our mask hides our scars, our unique stories, our regrets, and our dreams. It covers up our shame and our brokenness.
It stifles our potential.
It covers up the best of who we are.
It masks the glow that we can offer others.
It hides the light we reflect to a world starved for it.
It censors the story that uniquely sets us apart and would, if shared, intimately connect us with others."

"Living life on fire means you aren't afraid to know and own your story; you celebrate the scars you've accumulated along the way, and you are ready and willing to live life honestly.
Otherwise you'll never know the gift of your story.
You won't know the power of your experiences.
You can't embrace the beauty of your scars.
You'll never be a light to a world desperate for it."

"When things get hot, when the fires of life rage around you and against you, you can pull back and retreat and let things be destroyed.
Or, you can step back in and save what matters from the fires that are threatening to destroy your marriage, your career, your joy, your life.
The key to that choice, the only way to reengage in the fight, is in knowing, without a doubt, why you are doing it."

"All too often, we get caught up in the daily tasks. The humdrum. And when we do that, we can forget how important our efforts are in the greater scope of things. Every job undertaken, every task assigned, every responsibility assumed, does matter.
Do you believe that?
Do you believe that your work matters?
Your parenting matters?
The way you love your spouse matters?
The way you treat a stranger on the street matters?
Everything we do matters.
Our lives are sacred.
There are no small players.
There are no small tasks."

"We all face moments when we would rather stay where we are. Whether we are too injured, or it's too late, or it's too scary, those excuses arise because we have been trained to keep our eyes down, on the rocky soil in front of us, trying to make sure we don't trip. We've got to stay safe, we think. Looking down is just practical. Don't want to look stupid. Don't want to fall.
But when we are staring down at where we are, we can't look ahead to where we could go. We miss the beauty of what's possible. And we certainly can't see the path to get there."

"These therapists knew that stretching is never easy. It's unwanted. It's painful. It's hard on all parties involved and in all facets of life. It's not pleasant to be stretched and it's not pleasurable to stretch others. Yet the pain of today unveils the possibility of tomorrow.
Stretching leads to growth.
Growth is frequently painful.
But 'growth is the only evidence of life.'"

"My friend, we frequently cheapen our ability to influence radical change. We underestimate our personal ability to be a spark that ignites and influences the world in profoundly important ways.
We possess the ability and opportunity to positively and permanently effect change around us.
Simple action and ordinary people change the world.
It starts with one.
It starts with you.
But you have to pay attention."

Doh!!! That's 10!!! On a serious note, I do hope these excerpts speak to you. Also, often I will italicize the quotes I post or bold certain parts. In these excerpts I only italicized and bolded what John did as he often does this to illustrate a point of emphasis and I wanted y'all to hear from him as much as possible.

Finally, I want to share a quote that I came across just today...so powerful!

"If you could only see how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person." - Fred Rogers

Yeah Friends, you are a pretty big deal! :) The only thing you and I have to determine is, "What Will Your Influence Be...?"

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Two Questions

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day, and that you have had an awesome week - personally & professionally, as a brand new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)

Wednesday was "one of those days" for me. It was tough and I was in a tough spot. I was fighting for faith & hope. Ever have one of those?

I work on an island which, for an Arizona native, is a pretty amazing thing. Every morning, as I drive across the causeway, I try to be intentional about looking around and truly appreciating the blessings...the awe & wonder. The thing is, when you work on an island there is exactly one way in and one way out...unless you take a boat however that is not an option for me! :) Well, on Wednesday there was a horrific accident at the base of the causeway, on the way out, which meant nobody was going anywhere...for a long time. So, I have had a tough day, I stayed at work until nearly 7:00 p.m. - hoping the traffic would clear up a little bit, and now I am in bumper to bumper traffic, moving maybe 50 yards (former football coach, sorry...I think in yards and not feet!) in the past 30 minutes and I am behind "that person." You know the one. They are on their cell phone so when the traffic moves forward 10 yards they don't and a car passes in front of them. Hey, even in a turtle race the turtles still wanna race! :)

One thing I have learned as I have grown older is to choose my thoughts, to fight for my faith. I knew I was not in a good place so I tried singing along to some Christian music. My thoughts kept returning to negativity. I then chose to pull up a podcast on my cell phone. The one I chose to pull up was an interview Jon Gordon had with a gentleman named John O'Leary. I was familiar with John as I had shared a very inspiring video of him a couple of weeks ago on Facebook.

When John was 9-years old he was burned over 100% of his body with 3rd degree burns over 85%. A person that severely burned is not supposed to live let alone thrive as John has. I would strongly encourage you to look John up on the internet and watch some of his videos. You can also go to his website at johnolearyinspires.com. And finally, with Fathers Day on the horizon...I hope my Beautiful Bride reads this Happy Friday, you can perhaps get his book, "On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life."

So, I am listening to the podcast and John shares two critically important questions that I want to share with you this morning.

The first question he shared is, "What more can I do?" He shared it in the context of his boyhood hero, the late, great sportscaster Jack Buck. According to John, every night Jack would ask the question, "What more can I do?" This isn't the bemoaning, whining question of a man in despair but rather the Spirit seeking question of a man determined to live a life that makes a difference in others lives. In proper context the question is seeking God's guidance and looks something like this:

• What more can I do to grow closer to God?
• What more can I do to serve my wife?
• What more can I do to serve my kids?
• What more can I do to serve my friends?
• What more can I do to serve the lost? The hurting? The broken?
• What more can I do to serve?

You get the point. It is the honest cry of a heart that seeks to continually learn, grow and develop into all the Lord created one to be.

The second question he shared is, "Why me?" Little boy, burned over 100% of his body, fingers amputated...must mean "why did this happen to me?", right?! Yeah, you already know that is wrong, don't you? No, this is the beautiful perspective shift John offered.

• Why me? Why did God think so much of me that He thought the world needed me and so He created me?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the wife I have?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the kids I have?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the calling & purpose on my life that I have?
• Why me? Why have I been so blessed to be called to serve where I serve?

You see, it is a heart of gratitude...a perspective shift for sure! Yes, the boy who was burned over 100% of his body is the man with a beautiful family, he is a highly sought after motivational speaker...he is indeed blessed. Friends, it is all in what we choose to see, or perhaps how we choose to see it. Do you see the burned boy, left without hope or do you see the blessed man? It starts with a heart that seeks to learn, grow & develop, to ask "Why me?" in the spirit of gratitude, seeking the Spirits leading.

There are tons of great thoughts/ideas in John's book - did I mention it is titled On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life and that it would make a great Fathers Day gift? Honey, are you listening?!?! :) - and I would like to share just a couple with you:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

"We choose to vibrantly go about life, soak it up, embrace it, and celebrate it, or we choose not to. No one else can make this decision for us." - John O'Leary

"The number on joy indicator, the one thing that will predict whether someone feels joy in their life or not, is the practice of gratitude." - John O'Leary

"you can't always choose the path that you walk in life, but you can always choose the manner in which you walk it." - John O'Leary

"Everything we do matters. Our lives are sacred. There are no small players. There are no small tasks." - John O'Leary

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Mastery

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

This morning I want to share, and expand upon, a quote I came across this week. Perhaps it will challenge, inspire or possibly annoy you! :)

"You will become a master of whatever you repeatedly do or think. It's unavoidable. What are you a master of?" - Bruce Van Horn

Pretty profound, powerful. Let's unpack it a little bit...

"...whatever you repeatedly do or think" - have you really given this much, uh, thought?! :) The one thing I would do is reverse the order...think or do, not do or think. As we have discussed in previous Happy Friday's, thoughts drive action though it is true sometimes we thoughtlessly do things. Not going to chase that squirrel this morning! :)

What thoughts are you mastering? Are you becoming a master of positivity or negativity? Are you becoming a master of faith or fear/worry? Are you becoming a master of intentional behavior or are you becoming a master of chaos created by your own lack of vision?

How about our actions? What actions are we mastering? Are we mastering acts of faith & hope? Are we mastering acts of love, encouragement & selfless service? Regardless of the situation or circumstance? This reminds me of the quote, often attributed to Navy SEALS, that says, "We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training." We all want to be great however are we training to be great? I want to have great faith when great faith is required however if I have not trained to have great faith, I will find the tank is empty when I need it full.

"It's unavoidable" - Here is the crux of the matter. As human beings we are looking for the rest point, the time when we no longer have to struggle, to fight, to grow. This reminds me of the quote by Bo Schembechler, the great former Head Football Coach at the University of Michigan, "Every day you either get better or you get worse. You never stay the same." This might be the annoying part! :) There is no "off day." Every single day we must weed the gardens of our minds, hearts and actions lest we allow weeds to grow. We are mastering something today! We have to choose what it will be...we will choose what it will be, even if we choose to do nothing.

So the hope, opportunity and challenge is, "What are you a master of?" There are masters of faith, hope, love & leadership just as there are masters of doubt, worry, hate & discord. These masters have gained their mastery through countless hours of thought & action that led them to the point where they can demonstrate their skills regardless of the situation or circumstance. I cannot tell you what to master...I can only try to raise your awareness and encourage you to seek the mastery of that which brings fulfillment to your life. For me I have determined to become a master of faith, of hope, of love. To become a master husband and Dad. To become a master leader. To become a master servant. To be a master friend. I fail in my day to day mastery way more often than I would like however I realize each new day is a new opportunity to grow in my mastery of all these things. 

"If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all." - Michelangelo

"Someone is going to be strengthened one day by your story - don't give up." - Ray Lewis

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Nobody Does It Alone

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful, hot & steamy, Sunday afternoon on the Texas Gulf Coast.

I am sorry this Happy Friday is getting to you a couple of days later than normal. My middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig, graduated from high school on Thursday night and with family in town, many celebrations, etc., this has really been the first opportunity to write something. Besides, as you will see in a moment, this Happy Friday was written on my heart in the last couple of days.

At Gehrig's graduation they did one of the neatest things I have ever seen at a graduation; they had all of the principles from the elementary & junior high schools that feed into the high school that Gehrig went to up on the stage with the high school administration, district administration, etc. The pre-high school principles, representing all the teachers that serve at their schools, were recognized for all they did to contribute to this special night. It was beautiful - way before there was a 9th - 12th grade, there was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. None more important than the other really...all steps leading to the next step which led to this special moment.

The reality of this moment really hit me. My mind raced back to all of the coaches from T-Ball through Little League to Junior High School to all the different levels of High School. And I didn't even mention club or travel ball if your child participates in those.

And then, in comments on graduation & celebration pictures my Beautiful Bride posted on Facebook, there are people who remember teaching Gehrig in Awana, former players who remember him in diapers and friends who have been a part of the journey of the first 18 years of his life. Yes, all of these people, the coaches, the former Awana teachers, the friends...they are all a part of his story.

And then there is family. Some members of the family got to be here and some did not. Some that weren't here physically were here spiritually, the only way they can be here now. Regardless of whether they could be there on the night Gehrig actually graduated, they have been a part of different seasons of life, critically important to Gehrig being the young man he has become today.

Then on either Friday or Saturday, I got to see a video of Danny Farquhar throwing out the 1st pitch at a Chicago White Sox baseball game. If you aren't really into sports you might ask, why is this a big deal? Well, Danny is a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox. During a game against the Houston Astros on April 20th, Danny "suffered a brain hemorrhage caused by a ruptured aneurysm." You can watch the inspiring video about his recovery and throwing out the first pitch at www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/23673000 If that doesn't work, simply Google "Danny Farquahar first pitch" and you will find it.

As a sports family we had followed Danny's story closely after he collapsed...and we had prayed for he & his family. As the video retold of Danny's journey you learn of the paramedics who got him to the hospital within 15 minutes of him collapsing that night, of the neurosurgeon who performed surgery, of the amazing care he received from a team of people at Rush University Medical Center, of his White Sox teammates who loved on & encouraged him and of course, there is is his wife Lexie and his children, Madison, Landon & Liam. The picture of Danny throwing out the 1st pitch, the first pitch he had thrown since the 6th inning on April 20th, with 50, maybe 60 or more, people behind, each one who had played a critical role in getting him this moment is almost indescribable. Every one of them mattered in his journey. So powerful!

So, of course, as I thought about all this I thought of the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." In doing a little research I found that I actually had that wrong. The actual saying, an African proverb, is, "It takes a whole village to raise a child." One, critically important, word..."whole."

I want to share an excerpt of the explanation of this saying from Afriprov.org. It says,

This Igbo and Yoruba (Nigeria) proverb exists in different forms in many African languages. The basic meaning is that child upbringing is a communal effort. The responsibility for raising a child is shared with the larger family (sometimes called the extended family). Everyone in the family participates especially the older children, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and even cousins. It is not unusual for African children to stay for long periods with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Even the wider community gets involved such as neighbors and friends. Children are considered a blessing from God for the whole community. This communal responsibility in raising children is also seen in the Sukuma (Tanzania) proverb "One knee does not bring up a child" and in the Swahili (East and Central Africa) proverb "One hand does not nurse a child."

In general this Nigerian proverb conveys the African worldview that emphasizes the values of family relationships, parental care, self-sacrificing concern for others, sharing, and even hospitality. This is very close to the Biblical worldview as seen in scripture texts related to unity and cooperation (Ecclesiastes 4:9,12) and a mother's self-sacrificing love (Isaiah 49:15-16). 

A few thoughts to wrap up this Happy Friday:
1. While the saying pertains specifically to a child I believe we all need others, regardless of our age or season in life. You & I don't have to, and in fact can't, do this life alone. At some point, at some time, we are going to have to raise our hand - literally or figuratively - and ask others for help. It will take a humble spirit or a humbling moment but either way, we are all going to need others if we are going to survive & thrive.

2. Let's remember and thank those who have helped us along our life journey's. Maybe it was a parent, sibling, teacher, coach, friend, mentor or maybe even a physician who performed a life-saving procedure. Whatever the case I pray that we will not forgot the people who have helped mold & shape us into the people we are today and that we will thank them.

3. You matter in the story of other people's lives. Your role may be large or it may be small. Regardless, please know that the things you say & do matter in the lives of those you touch. While you might not physically be at the graduation, your fingerprints are all over the person that is graduating and know this, they could not have done it without you.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, have an awesome week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev