Friday, May 24, 2019

What A Week..or Two!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday from the Texas Gulf Coast! This is my last "Happy Friday" from Texas as the Haslam family will be relocating to our new home in Alabama this weekend. You have blessed us richly Texas, and we are so grateful for you! :)

Keeping it real, I am not really sure what the point of this Happy Friday is or if anyone will get anything from it. Perhaps it is only for me, to process through my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am simply going to share my heart and trust God with the rest... :)

It has been an amazing week...or two! In the past two weeks I watched Payton graduate from college AND celebrated my Beautiful Bride on Mother's Day, my colleagues at work honored my family & I with the most beautiful reception I could have ever imagined, we hosted a party at our home for people who started as friends but actually became family, Kath & I went to lunch with 6 of the most amazing women you could ever meet - my Amazing Team!, Landry and I had one more special night fishing on the pier in Galveston until it was his birthday, went to one more Houston Astros game later that day on Landry's 14th birthday -  where Justin Verlander threw a 1-hitter and last night we went out to dinner with several families who are very special to us. And in that one, very long, sentence, I listed the people who we have loved and who have loved us for the past 5 years. We helped and prayed for each other in our struggles, we encouraged and prayed for each other in our successes...we did life together! So blessed! So! Very! Blessed! :)

To say this past couple of weeks has been emotional would be an understatement! After much thought, prayer and reflection, there are a few things I have learned that I want to share with you.

1. There is never enough time to say goodbye. I would take another 5 minutes with every single one of the people mentioned above if I could get it and yet, I realize there will never be "enough." You know why? Because I genuinely love each and every one of them. With this, no amount of time - be it minutes, hours, days or months! - will ever be enough! So I have to accept the fact that I will definitely miss the daily presence of every single one of them - just as I miss the daily presence of our friends in Arizona, New Mexico, Nebraska, Kansas & Illinois - however our moving does not mark the end of our relationship(s), it is simply the turning of the page in this beautiful journey of life. We have friends who we first met in high school, in college and on every step of the journey along the way. They helped make us who we are today! We continue to love them and to do life with them. And we will go to the beautiful people of Alabama - many who have already blessed our life so richly! - and we will do life with them! And our blessings will continue to grow!

2. When you genuinely love people, and walk that out every single day, you don't have to try to explain yourself. This reality hit me with my Amazing Team! Oh that you would all be as blessed as I to work with Precious Souls like these! When I got the honor & privilege of leading this team, they simply needed someone to love them - to see and pull out the greatness that is within each one of them - and to empower them to be all they could be! Easiest job I ever had! The crazy thing is, they think I was a blessing to them and in reality, it was I who was blessed. And when it came time to say goodbye we all knew - we knew how we felt about each other, the level of commitment we have to each other and that while these were relationships that were forged at work, they will last a lifetime. There are no words for all that! And when you realize that you are fully loved and accepted for who you are, no words needed, you realize how blessed you are and you simply thank God. :)

3. While we try to put on masks and control what people see, it is not in our perfections that we help each other, but in our weaknesses. I woke up earlier this week and my heart was heavy. I felt sad to be leaving people that I love so much, to leave a home that we have cherished, to leave a city I could have lived in forever. Having learned that feelings aren't facts and that I have to choose how to respond to my feelings, I turned to God in prayer. I asked Him to lead my heart! I asked Him to renew & refresh my heart, mind, soul & spirit! I asked Him to be with me! I asked Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit and fill me with faith! I asked Him to please help me believe! And guess what? He did! And so I went on and had a great day! And then that evening my youngest Tender Warrior came home and something seemed a little off. I called him into the room and asked him if he was o.k. He very bravely said, "Yeah, great!" I wasn't fully buying it however I chose not to push him. You see, a boy doesn't want to disappoint his Dad. A lot of men are walking around broken because they are still little boys walking around trying not to disappoint their Dad...a different Happy Friday! A few minutes later Kath came in and told me Landry is really struggling today. I called him back into the room. He came in and I asked him about it. He said, while he is excited to be going to Alabama, he is sad to be leaving his friends. I told him I told get it, that I feel the same way. He looked at me with this quizzical look. Like, "Men are allowed to be sad?" I then asked Kath to please go get the prayer I had texted to her that morning. I asked her to read a part of what I had written...it is the words you read above. And in admitting my sadness, I gave him permission to express his feelings. In showing him what I did with my sadness, I gave him a compass that will carry him through many struggles on his life journey. It was in admitting my own brokenness that I was able to help my son, now and in the future.

I just want to encourage you all to love the people you are with when you are with them, cherish every second because time goes fast, and keep it real! I can testify, when you do this, you can look back without regret and you can look forward to the journey the Lord has before you with hopeful expectation! Here we come Alabama! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev 

Friday, May 17, 2019

A Simple Reminder

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! Hope, opportunity and promise abound! There is new love, mercy and grace in this new day! Let's hopefully, expectantly run into this day! :)

This week I am not going to share anything you don't know or that you haven't heard before. The thing is, if we know something and don't act upon it, we are no better than the person who doesn't know. Once we have learned, we can no longer pretend we don't know. At that point it is not a matter of ignorance, it is a matter of choice! :)

I want to respectfully encourage each one of us to focus on building relationships. That's it...to see people and seek to build a relationship with them. It is about genuinely loving people for who they are, to come along side them on their life journey wherever they are and to be a kind, caring, compassionate person to them. We get so caught up in performance stuff that we forget that without people and the relationships we have with them, performance is irrelevant and, in fact, the key to higher performance levels is people feeling loved, valued & appreciated!

So please, recognize the people in your life - whether for a brief moment or for a number of years. Really see them...for who they are. Value them as a person, just like you and I, who has hopes, goals, dreams and fears. Please take the focus off your wants & needs and seek to meet the wants & needs of others. Instead of standing on the soap box of social media trying to prove our worth, let's help others see their infinite worth. 

Today, let's pick up the phone and call that relative or friend we have been meaning to call. Let's take 5 minutes to ask someone how they are doing and really listen to the response and then strive to meet any needs that we are able to meet. Let's take our spouses/partners on a date. Let's go play with our kids and let them decide what we do and for how long. Let's put down our phones and sit on a porch and talk. Send a text of encouragement to the person who comes to your mind as you read this sentence. Today, let's focus on people. Let's not worry about whatever measurement(s) of success that exist in our lives and just genuinely love, care for and serve those we are blessed to have in our lives today! :)

Just a few things I want to share with you and let you ponder as you get ready to roll into this day.

One day an expert on Moses' law came to test Jesus' orthodoxy by asking him this question: "Teacher, what does a man need to do to live forever in heaven?"
Jesus replied, "What does Moses' law say about it?"
"It says," he replied, "that you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind. And you must love your neighbor just as much as you love yourself."
"Right!" Jesus told him. "Do this and you shall live." - Luke 10: 25-28

"We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." - Khalil Gibran

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Friday, May 10, 2019

Simply Pursue YOUR Greatness

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day - though very stormy & soggy - dawns on the Texas Gulf Coast! I am reminded of the Vivian Greene quote that says, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain." Whether storms of life or storms of nature, let's dance! :)

Earlier this week while listening to the radio, a gentleman talked about raising children. He stated something like, our role as parents isn't to help our kids become famous, professional athletes/singers/writers, etc. Our role as parents is simply to help them find their purpose, to discover what sets their souls on fire, and then help them fulfill that purpose. Profound. Simple to understand and yet, so hard for so many to live out.

Each and every one of us has a purpose. Thank goodness they are not all the same! Thank goodness we are not all passionate about the same things, find joy in the same things or desire to do the same things. Think how boring, and comical, life would be if that is how life worked! :)

Sadly, many of us are not living the lives we wish to live but rather we are living the lives that others expected us to live. Check this out; according to a 2017 Gallup Poll, 85% of the worlds  workforce - please catch that, it is not just one country...it is the worlds workforce -  is "emotionally disconnected from their workplace." I think I know at least a part of the reason why. Our jobs do not define us. They, hopefully, are an expression of who we were created to be. I am not a development professional. My purpose in this life is not to raise money for organizations. I am simply a man who was created to encourage, empower and equip others to be the best they are capable of becoming and I found a beautiful way to express this through work as a development professional. Make sense? With this, I fly out of bed every morning excited to help people fulfill their deepest philanthropic priorities while empowering others to pursue their hopes, goals & dreams through the generosity of others! Pretty blessed! :)

But what about the little girl who had a passion to heal the sick but was told she couldn't do that, that she needed to become a [fill in the blank with whatever you want], instead? What about the little boy who had a passion to sing but was told he should become a [fill in the blank], instead? There are a lot of little girls and little boys, some in their 70's, 80's and 90's, with those same passions burning, unfulfilled, in their souls.

So, this goes two ways:
1. Please pursue the deepest passions of your soul. Whatever they are, please pursue them! It really doesn't matter what they are or what anyone else thinks! If you are passionate about something, if you have a yearning in your soul, fight for it and relentlessly pursue it every day of your life. In this you will find great joy & peace and you will bless this world with a great gift it would not receive if you don't pursue it - YOU! :) As John Wesley, an eighteenth century theologian said, "When you set yourself on fire, people will come and see you burn."

2. Please don't tell anyone - not one single person! - what their passion or purpose should be. Our purpose, even if we have the honor & privilege of being called Mom or Dad, is not to tell others what they should become but rather to help them discover who they were created to become. Please don't put the weight of your expectations on your children, or anyone else, and in doing so, prevent them from growing to become all God created them to become. 

And then there is this other thing that is directly tied to people not pursuing their purposes, it's called comparison. Please don't compare yourself to me or anyone else for you were not created to be me, nor was I created to be you. Comparing yourself to anyone else is equivalent to looking at a beautiful, majestic, lion and criticizing it for being such a poor dog! That is not what it was created to be!

I shared this quote on Facebook this week.
"Never compare one student's test score to another's. Always measure a child's progress against her past performance. There will always be a better reader, mathematician, or baseball player. Our goal is to help each student become as special as she can be as an individual - not to be more special than the kid sitting next to her." - Rafe Esquith

Many of us, um, adults, are still comparing test scores. Please Friends, stop! I pray, and beg, you and I to simply become as special as we can become as an individual and that we would allow others to do the same.

So in case nobody every told you or gave you permission, please let me tell you a few things.
1. YOU matter.
2. YOUR life has great value, meaning & purpose!
3. YOU were created on purpose for a great purpose!
4. YOU are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing!
5. YOU are a great gift to this world, a great price has been paid for YOU and you honor the gift when YOU become the best YOU that YOU are capable of becoming!
*None of these things have anything to do with anyone else - it's all about YOU! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Friday, May 3, 2019

The Office

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious, soggy, new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! Additionally, I sincerely hope you have all had a great week! :)

As the Haslam family continues to transition to our new home in Alabama, this week I started cleaning out my office at work. Now, if you have ever been to my office you know it looks like either 1) a stack of post-it notes exploded or, 2) I failed in my attempt to wallpaper my office with post-it notes! :) Any time I come across a scripture, saying, thought or idea that is meaningful to me I write it down and put it up so I will see it regularly! This means I have a whole lot of post-it notes! :)

This morning I simply want to remind all of us of something and then share several of the things I had written down. 

As for the reminder...
The things we continually pour into our lives will determine our thoughts, they will affect the condition of our hearts, they will influence the words we speak and the actions we take. What we surround ourselves with is not a matter to be taken lightly and yet, most of us do not give much thought to what we allow into our hearts, minds & spirits - consciously & subconsciously. Let's be master gardeners of what we allow in! As Ken Whitten once said, "What's in the well always comes up in the bucket." If we are feeding negativity, fear, worry, despair, hopelessness, etc. to our souls, this is what will come out in our thoughts, words and actions. The good news is if we feed our souls faith, hope, positivity, etc., this is what will come out! A simple choice - the choice of what we will allow to fill our hearts, minds, souls & spirits - that has eternal implications! :) Please choose wisely Sweet Friends! 

As for some of the scriptures & sayings I had written down...
Now, before I start, let me tell you, while I am pretty relentless in writing these things down, I am not so good about always writing down who said it. Please just know that these are things other people said. The other thing I would say is this; just like me, you have the choice as to what you will do with what you learn. If I read it, think that it is really good but take no action based upon it, I have not really learned anything. It is only what we actually choose to act upon that will truly make a difference in the lives we live. :) So, here goes...

I would be remiss if I did not start with this one! It has carried me through so many days! 
"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

1. Never ask someone else to do something you are unwilling to do. Leaders go first. If you want someone to do something a good rule of thumb is to show them how by going first.
2. As a leader it's your job to protect, inspire, sacrifice for, and love the people you lead. Nobody is above any of those qualities.
3. Sometimes you have to let people know you're human. If you make a mistake own it. We need to strip down (figuratively) and let people know we make mistakes and we are normal people.
4. Leaders have scares on their chest not their back. If there is a problem you're there to help with a solution. You don't run away from the messy stuff and leave it to fall on others.

"Power = The capacity to influence and inspire" :) (yes, I put a smiley face on the note!)

"Anger does not change your circumstances...it only changes you!" :) (Here too!)

"God's timing is perfect."

"Success is the sum of small efforts - repeated day in and day out."

"When you praise another person you take your eyes off of yourself and put them on another person."

"God declares I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future filled with hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:13

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." - Hebrews 12:1

When someone criticizes you, do the following:
Ask, "Does this make sense? Is it valid"
Yes = How can I change & improve?
No = Learn to ignore it.

"It's impossible," said pride.
"It's risky," said experience.
"It's pointless," said reason.
"Give it a try," whispered the heart.

"Focus on solutions, not problems."

"Remember, there is always another perspective!" :) (Yep, again!)

"But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength." - 2 Timothy 4:17

"So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:6-7

"Your certainty, belief & faith must be greater than all the doubt."

Stand Strong
Believe in Yourself
Chase Those Dreams

"He must become greater. I must become less." - John 3:30

"Two kinds of winning:
- Some can only win when others lose
- Others seek to win by helping others succeed
- One of these approaches scales far better than the other"

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with grace, so that you may know how to answer everyone." - Colossians 4:6

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-8

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary." - Isaiah 40:31

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8

"This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before." - Maya Angelou

"Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you." - Mother Teresa

"The only comparison that matters is the comparison with who you are, who you were, and who you could become."

"Life is not about avoiding death; it's about choosing to really live."

"Whatever we focus on grows."

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." - Romans 12:12

"There's something in you that the world needs!"

"Pray. Wait. Trust."

"Leadership isn't about getting your own way. It's about helping others find theirs."

"If you want people to do something, you've got to help them understand why they're doing it and how it will benefit them."

6 Ways To Be More Content:
1. Set your priorities
2. Stop comparing
3. Pray for change
4. Count your blessings
5. Live passionately
6. Find positive friends

"Peace is not the absence of trouble. Peace is knowing that God is right there with you in the midst of the storm."

"Don't Make Assumptions!" :) (Yep!)

"The world needs leaders...YOU are one!"

Six Keys To Leading Positive Change:
1. Show up - If you don't show up, nothing happens
2. Speak up - Use the power of voice
3. Look up - Some nobler purpose
4. Team up - Everything goes better with partners
5. Never give up
     * Cantors Law - Everything looks like a failure in the middle
     * If you give up, by definition, it is a failure
6. Lift others up

Careless or Clueless?
- Careless you clean up
- Clueless you educate

"To love another person is to see the face of God"

"Wherever you should stand, be the soul of that place."

Three Lessons in Leadership:
1. Great leaders own up to their mistakes.
2. Great leaders choose humility.
3. Great leaders have faith.
* A lot has changed since Biblical times, human nature has not

"Remember which way you face..."

"A coach cannot force a player to be better. The player must choose it. Being successful is an opportunity, not an obligation." - Gary Curneen

"Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trust in you." - Psalm 84:12

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jackie Robinson

"Doing the best you are capable of doing is victory in itself, and less than that is defeat." - John Wooden

"We must determine our own finish line and never stop short of it. Put your faith and finish in God, not in people."

"Who are we, if not measured by our impact on others? That's who we are! We're not who we say we are, we're not who we want to be - we are the sum of the influence and impact that we have, in our lives, on others." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

The Cowboy Code
1. Live each day with courage
2. Take pride in your work
3. Always finish what you start
4. Do what has to be done
5. Be tough, but fair
6. When you make a promise, keep it
7. Talk less and say more
8. Remember that some things aren't for sale
9. Know where to draw the line

"You may not be able to change your fate, but you can certainly make decisions that can change how you experience that fate."

Please Friends, intentionally choose what you will surround yourselves with every day and what you will allow to speak to your heart, mind & spirit!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev