Being Generous

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This morning I want to talk briefly about being generous. When speaking of generosity, I typically think of, and talk about, being generous with our time, talent and treasure. Today I want to hopefully help us look at generosity a little differently and empower and equip us to live a generous life.

Last night my Beautiful Bride and I listened to the Focus on the Family broadcast from yesterday morning. The speakers were Brad Formsma and his 17-year old son, Drew. Together they have co-authored a book titled, Everyday Generosity. This is what I want to talk about...everyday generosity.

First, please let me share a few examples of the type of generosity that Brad is talking about when he talks about everyday generosity.

• He is talking about attention...being generous with our attention by being fully present when with someone.
• He is talking about thoughts...being generous with our thoughts by intentionally choosing to think positive thoughts of others.
• He is talking about influence...being generous by connecting people to one another for their benefit, not ours.

Yeah, a little bit different take on generosity. And there are 4 more that Brad shared however I am going to let you buy the book to find out what they are! :)

There were a couple of big takeaways I had, and one huge final thought, that I want to touch on briefly this morning.

The first key that Brad talked about in being generous is taking the focus off ourselves. Did you shift in your seat just now?!?! :) It will be nearly impossible to be generous to others in any form when all we are focusing on is our wants, our needs, our hopes, our worries, our cares, our concerns. In order to be generous we are going to have to be selfless, to look at the wants, needs, hopes, worries, cares and concerns of others...not our favorite hobby! Lord, please give me the heart, the soul and the spirit to take the focus off myself and to look to the needs of others!

And then we have to, as Brad says, "have our antenna up." We have to intentionally look for ways we can be generous to others. Have you ever wanted a new [fill in the blank with whatever you want]? Of course you have! And have you ever noticed that when you really want something a whole lot of people have what you are wanting, and they all seem to be around you?!?! Yeah, me too...so irritating!!! :) It's because our antenna's are up for the thing we want. The same applies to the needs of others and, more importantly, how we can serve them. Lord, please break my heart for what breaks yours. Please give me eyes, ears, and most importantly, a heart to see the needs of others and meet them whenever I can!

And maybe you are sitting there thinking, "Kev, you are crazy!!! Life is hard enough, there is no way I am going to do this!" You might not be saying it outwardly, perhaps you are simply thinking it. Well, please allow me to share the huge final thought. Brad talks about one of the keys to a generous life is modeling it for our families, friends and all those in our spheres of influence. Great point and I totally agree...and I am going to add a twist. You and I are modeling something...what is it? Are we modeling care and compassion? Do our family, friends and all those in our spheres of influence see us being fully present? Do they see us meeting the needs of another? What are we modeling?

We all have needs. We are all seeking the blessings. But what if you and are the blessing that God chooses to use in someone's life? Will we answer the call then? Do we want someone else to answer God's call when He wants to use them to bless us? What would happen if we, just you and me, started thinking less about ourselves and more about the way that we can be a blessing to someone else? 

Let me share a couple of scriptures here at the end:

"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." - Galatians 6: 10

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5: 16

"Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive." - Titus 3: 14

"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." - James 2: 14 - 17

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay healthy and well!

Kev

Legacy

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

What will your legacy be? Have you ever thought about it? Perhaps most importantly, do you realize that you ARE leaving a legacy?

Merriam-webster.com defines legacy as follows:
1. a gift by will especially of money or other personal property
2. something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past

Now, to be clear, the type of legacy I am referring to this morning is the 2nd definition. John C. Maxwell seems to address the 1st definition in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. He says, "Too often, leaders put their energy into organizations, buildings, systems and other lifeless objects. But only people live on after we are gone. Everything else is temporary." Yes, the type of legacy I am talking about this morning is what is left in the hearts, minds and souls of those whose lives we have touched when we are gone.

As I am sure you are very well aware, I am very fond of challenging myself and others with "What Will Your Influence Be...?" It is based on a deeply held conviction that every one of our lives influences the lives of every other person we come into contact with on a daily basis. And research backs this belief! In a blog, John C. Maxwell sited research that found that the most introverted person will influence more than 10,000 people in their lifetime. A couple of years ago I found new research that showed that the average person will influence more than 80,000 people during theirs. So, Sweet Friends, it is not a question of whether or not you are influencing others...the question is, what will your influence be?

And why do I start here? Because it is our daily disciplines, the things we do day after day that determines the direction of our lives and, ultimately, our legacies. I know, we really don't want to hear that! We all want to win, have success - however you want to define those terms in your life. We all want the "secret." We want the quick and easy. There is no silver bullet; it is the choices we make every single day, day after day, that ultimately will decide the quality, the depth and the breadth of our lives. And this then forms our legacy.

Have you ever really thought about your legacy? What are you passing down to the generations that will follow us? So often when we think of legacies we think of championship sports figures or organizations, of politicians or similar. And often, what we are defining as a legacy, is actually a result, an outcome, of what living their legacy actually brought. Is Michael Jordan's legacy the 6 championships he won? I would argue his legacy is a singular focus and a relentless commitment to being the best he was capable of becoming. Is Kobe Bryant's legacy the 5 championships he won? I would argue it was his belief that we all have a purpose and that we are called to do everything we can to become the best we are capable of becoming within that purpose, just as he did. How about Tom Brady? Is it the Super Bowl championships or MVP awards? If you read articles about him everyone talks about two things - 1) He genuinely values and appreciates everyone, whether a teammate or a small child, and 2) His relentless pursuit of becoming the best he is capable of becoming. In looking at the results, we fail to see what they are really leaving us.

When we talk about legacies we often talk about grandiose things, the purposes we were created for, and rightfully so. I am going to share several things here in a moment that talk about our purposes, however before I do I want to share a thought that hit me literally as soon as I woke up this morning. We are actually leaving legacies in several different areas. What is your spiritual legacy? What is your emotional legacy? What is your attitudinal legacy? You get the point. Let me ask you a question; how did your parents handle a situation when something went wrong? Right now you can see it, you can feel it. It is a situational legacy. Are we leaving a legacy of faith or fear? Are we leaving a legacy of love or hate? Are we leaving a legacy of Light or darkness? Are we leaving a legacy of encouragement or dread? Each and every one of us will choose...

What got me thinking about legacy this week is an email I received from Jon Gordon. I want to share a brief excerpt from it.
"The next time you are facing a difficult situation remember that there is more than what is in front of you. There is a challenge, a lesson, and a plan.

Emerson said, "The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear."

Don't let fear get in the way of the life that is meant for you. Einstein, Beethoven, Muhammad Ali, and Helen Keller show us that anything is possible. They are real people who overcame their obstacles and doubters and discovered their greatness.

Trust that there is a plan for you and let the possibilities unfold. In the process you will discover the great things you were born to do. You don't have to push. Just trust and your destiny will meet you when the time is right."

To hopefully equip us, I also want to share several excerpts from an article that appeared on forbes.com on Feburary 20, 2014. The article is titled 5 Ways A Legacy-Driven Mindset Will Define Your Leadership and it was written by Glenn Llopis.

"To help guide your sustainable success as a leader and keep you moving in the right direction, here are five stages of legacy building that will define the significance of your leadership:

1. Identity and Values
You must know and be extremely connected with who you are and what you represent as an individual and a leader. What are the values and beliefs that influence how you lead, your behavior and your attitude? Do others know the real you and what you represent as a leader for the betterment of a healthier whole?

2. Guiding Foundational Principles
Once you have been able to solidify your identity and set of values, how do they translate into a set of guiding principles that other can begin to expect from you? These principles should represent your enduring ideas and ideals and set the tone for your performance expectations as a leader.

3. Courage and Risk-Taking
As a leader, you must trust your gut and be courageous enough to take calculated risks. At times, this requires you to trust yourself enough to challenge the status quo and push the envelope of conventional wisdom - even if this means putting your reputation on the line.

4. Genuine Care to Advance Others
Understanding what inspires happiness in those who support your leadership is critically important. Throughout your leadership journey you must continue to learn how to better serve others and genuinely support their career advancement and overall engagement at work.

5. Responsibility and Accountability
Legacy building is about being mindful of the opportunity and the responsibility you have to serve your own advancement by serving others. Only you can set the tone and define the performance standards that you expect for yourself and from others. As such, you must be incredibly self-disciplined to hold yourself accountable to consistently deliver to those standards every day, every step of the way.

And finally, I want to share a poem by Haki Aitoro titled, What Will Be Your Legacy?

Do I wander through life aimlessly?
Wild, reckless, inconsiderate
Unmindful of the consequences of my behavior
Do I run wild in a savage stupor?
Pugnacious, belligerent, impolite
Unconscious of the altitude of my ignorance
Unaware of the latitude of my negligence
Carefree
Leaving a trail of scarcity
Along a path of regret
Leaving years of psychological scars
In the repressed minds of distressed adults
In the misguided souls of troubled youths

Will I leave disillusioned children?
Angry and confused
Shameful and misguided
Lost and astray
Crying for direction
Weeping for guidance
Longing for unconditional love
Grieving for sound judgement
For I taught them not a lifetime of wisdom
For wisdom was not important
For I offered them not sound advice
For I never took life seriously
For I taught them not discipline
For I was reckless and immature
For I showed them naught but a drop of love
For my selfishness knew no bounds

Will I leave disappointed partners?
Bitter and frustrated
Troubled and wounded
Disturbed and injured
Wishing for sincerity
Longing for honesty
Praying for fidelity
Yearning for faithfulness
For I killed their trust
Due to my shamelessness
For I eradicated their hope
Due to my disrespect
For I damaged their faith
Due to my infidelity
For I destroyed their confidence
Due to my deception
For I killed their self development
Due to my ignorance

Will I leave appalled individuals?
Disgusted and revolted
Unconcerned and apathetic
Sarcastic and scornful
Mocking my ignorance
Sickened at my negligence
Horrified at my irresponsibility
Deriding my financial intelligence
Appalled at my selfishness
For I disrespected many good folk
In the name of humor
Mere mockery in fact
For I abused much kindness
In the name of friendship
Sheer exploitation to be precise
For I never listened to others
In the name of intelligence
Simply arrogance no doubt
For I spoke ill of people
In the name wisdom
Purely foolishness indeed
For I was impatient with the most enduring
In the name of progress
Clearly mental commotion
For I was unforgiving with the most compassionate
In the name of truth
Conceitedness in fact

Fatherhood was not my forte
For I struggled to maintain my youth
Relationship was not my aspiration
For I disliked commitment
Friendship was not my goal
For I detested disagreement
Education was not my focus
For I found it a bore
Investment was not my desire
For I cherished the consumer lifestyle
Responsibility was not my wish
For I cherished excitement and frolic
Discipline was not my want
For I enjoyed ease
Devotion was not my focal point
For I choose carelessness

So what will you leave?
A story of inspiration through your achievements
A fable of love through your affection
An account of devotion through your loyalty
A description of success through your diligence
A portrayal of courage through your chosen path
A depiction of wisdom through your experiences
An illustration of happiness through your humor
An image of resilience through your adversity
A report of wealth through your acumen
A tale of nobility through your actions
A myth of grandeur through your life of contribution

Let us all be remembered
For the lives we touched
For the people helped
For the wisdom we shared
For the stories we told
For the laughter we initiated
For the love we gave
For the affection we showed
For the good role models we were
For the communities we inspired
For the youth we guided
For the hungry we feed
For the needy we assisted
For the success we created
For the risk we took
For the world we changed
Let us write down our stories
Let us tell our experiences
Let us record our tales
Let us share our struggles
For our children
For our grandchildren
For generations to see
For generations to hear
As a source of hope
As a source of wisdom
As a source of guidance
As an example of our legacy
So what will you leave?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay safe.

Kev

One Critically Important Question...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I absolutely love the quiet peace at the dawning of a new day! You can almost feel the hope, the opportunity, the promises in this great new gift! :)

This morning I want to share a critically important question and one thought. I will share a few thoughts however, more than anything else, I hope you will thoughtfully consider each.

I apologize, I don't recall the source of the question. I came across it earlier this week, perhaps on Monday. It has convicted my Spirit repeatedly this week. I fully intend to keep it before me every day, the rest of my life. Here it is:

"Where is the love in what you are doing?"

Anyone else shift a little bit in their chair in reading that one?! :) It is easy to see the love, or the appearance of it, when things are going well, everyone is being nice to us, we are in a good mood and so is everyone else...it is easy to love at those times. But what about when someone is mean to us? What about when things just aren't going our way? What about when we just don't feel good, we don't feel like loving? There, in those moments, where is the love in what we are doing?

Luke 6:32-33 says:
"If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!

Yeah, a critically important question...

So as I have encountered different situations over the course of this week I have found my Spirit whispering to me, "Where is the love in what you are doing?" Does this mean we don't confront issues, address problems or speak truth? No, I would argue - lovingly! :) - that those are actually expressions of love...they just have to be done in love. It is, in fact, a heart issue. What is the intent of the heart? Is it being done in love or out of selfishness, pride, anger, etc?

A couple of scriptures would be good here...

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Ephesians 4:15 starts, "Instead, speaking the truth in love..."

Look, I fully understand that this is not easy...trust me! I am not having some Pollyanna moment here where we are going to think about this sentence and all of the sudden we are all going to start singing kumbaya and every day is going to be sunshine and rainbows. That, at best, would be delusional. What I do hope is that, much like the gauges in our car warn us when something is wrong, that we utilize this sentence as a gauge in our lives. That before we speak or act, we ask ourselves this critically important question. That we would let it refine our words and deeds...that honestly running our actions through the filter of this 9 word question, we would let our Spirits convict us when our intentions were not pure. And please never forget, it is not our sarcasm, criticism, witty responses, pride, anger or shouting that will change the world...it is our love. 

I also want to share a simple thought with you. I am pretty sure I saw this one on the Positive Coaching Alliance website. It said, "Most players don't know you care about them...tell them." Let me shift that just a little bit for us; "Most people don't know you care about them...tell them." How simple and yet incredibly profound. How about we actually tell the people we genuinely care about that we care about them? Who is that person in your life that pops into your mind right now? The one that you really care about but perhaps have never told them. How about you pick up your phone right now and call them or text them and tell them that you genuinely care about them? Or how about if you send them an email? Let's not miss opportunities to let people know that we genuinely care about them. Let them know that they are not on this journey alone...that they have someone who genuinely cares about them and is there for them. Please don't assume they know, simply tell them.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay healthy and well.

Kev

Be a Light

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! A new day!!! So blessed!!! :)

This morning I want to share the lyrics from a new country music song. Now, for those of you who don't like country music, including my own Pastor, please know I am praying for you! :)

The song is by Thomas Rhett and it features Keith Urban, Chris Tomlin, Reba McEntire, and Hillary Scott. I would strongly encourage y'all to listen to it at some point this weekend.

Here are the lyrics:

In a time full of war, be peace
In a time full of doubt, just believe
Yeah, there ain't that much difference between you and me
In a time full of war, be peace

In a world full of hate, be a light
When you do somebody wrong, make it right
Don't hide in the dark, you were born to shine
In a world full of hate, be a light

In a place that needs change, make a difference
In a time full of noise, just listen
'Cause life is but a breeze, better live it
In a place that needs change, make a difference

In a world full of hate be a light
When you do somebody wrong, make it right
Oh, don't hide in the dark, you were born to shine
In a world full of hate, be a light

In a race you can't win, slow it down
Yeah, you only get one go around
'Cause the finish line is six feet in the ground
In a race you can't win, just slow down

In a world full of hate, be a light
When you do somebody wrong, make it right
Don't hide in the dark, you were born to shine
In a world full of hate, be a light

Yeah, it's hard to live in color
When you just see black and white
In a world full of hate, be a light

Pretty powerful if you ask me! So, what will you influence be? Oh, you do have influence! You are influencing yourself with the things you listen to and read. You are influencing your family and friends with your words and actions. And you are influencing every single person you come into contact with by your countenance, your words and your actions. So please save the arguments of "I am not a leader" or "I don't know them" or "I'll do me, you do you." Whether or not you influence another soul is not in question; what your influence will be is the only thing that is to be determine...and it is redetermined and relived every single day!

O.K., now that I have moved past that rant, I simply want to encourage you this morning to be a light. :) No, it is absolutely, positively not easy and it is, in fact, counterculture. You very well may be laughed at and mocked. And there, in the darkness, in the struggle is exactly the moment that the light within you can truly shine! We are all, for the most part, really good with the idea of being positive and encouraging when everyone and everything around us is positive and encouraging. If only life worked that way, if only it were that simply. Just as it is true that it is not healthy people that need a doctor but the sick, it is not (so much) the positive and encouraging people that need to see your light but the lost, broken and hurting. And let me speak about that for just a second. Let's reframe how we see people. We look at the attitude, the actions or the words and we label people. Please stop! Just as you and I are created on purpose for a purpose, so are they. Just as we are loved unconditionally by God, so are they! Please, let's stop all the nonsense of criticizing and labeling others. Do you know what you are seeing with the poor attitude, the hurtful words and actions? You are seeing a broken Spirit, not a bad person. In a world full of hate, be a light!

So, whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever platform God gives you today, please be a light. Let us choose - very intentionally and very carefully - what we will fill our hearts, minds and spirits with. I can't put mud in a glass and expect to drink clean, refreshing water! And then let's pursue our purposes and use whatever gifts and abilities we have to love, care for and serve others. We will have to keep our mouths shut whenever others say things that hurt our feeling or upset us...I need God's strength for that one! We will need to look past the behaviors and see the person! We will have to choose hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times to respond - or not! - in a way completely opposite of how this world tells us we should respond. We will have to walk out love, mercy and grace! So easy to read about, sing about and so very difficult to do. However, please don't every forget, you were made to shine! We all were! Instead of looking at the darkness coming against you as a negative, look at it as an opportunity for the light to shine brighter. One person, one interaction at a time, we can change this world! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com. 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please, stay healthy and well!

Kev

Serve

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This week I simply want to encourage you, to testify what I have found and to share a few things I have learned this morning.

Serving others has been on my heart all week. I knew what I was going to write about early this week and yet, even as I start this Happy Friday, I am still not sure exactly what I am going to say. I spent some time last night looking up information, studying some sermons and nothing hit me as the things I want to share with you. So here we are...you are stuck with my thoughts/ideas! :) 

This morning I simply want to encourage you to serve others. Look for opportunities where there is a need and then use your talents, gifts, resources and time to meet them. There are countless needs in this world. Here is what I have found: When we have a receptive heart, God will use the talents and gifts He has given us to serve others. And, He will burden our hearts for the needs that exist. We simply have to be willing to listen and then be our pure, authentic selves.

I have found their are two real blocks to serving others:
1. We don't think we will have that great of an impact so we don't do anything. Sounds kind of crazy even typing it. So let me get this right, because I can't serve the whole world, I am not going to serve the one I can? Instead of focusing on what we cannot do, let's focus on each moment and simply serve when, where and how we feel God leading us to serve. I promise you, if our eyes, ears and hearts are open, if our spirits are willing, their are countless needs and opportunities to serve.

2. It will require a sacrifice. Perhaps this is where we get stuck. I have to give up something in order to give something. Whether it is time, talent, and/or treasure, serving another is going to cost us something. We spend so much time focusing on what we are losing, we don't even notice all we are gaining...let alone the profound influence we are having on the life we are serving and the lives their lives will touch and the lives those lives will touch, and on and on it goes. So, yes, Sweet Friends, serving others will require you to sacrifice something...not going to deny it. I am simply here to testify that I have not yet found the cost that is too great to meet the need of another by serving. 

And to encourage you with this encouragement - oh no, it is going to be one of THOSE kind of days!! :) - I want to share Matthew 20: 26 - 28:
"Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

I have had a great morning! As I read my Bible, did my devotional and read my leadership book, I came across three things that I found profound. I am going to share them with you and, as the saying goes, I am just going to leave them right here and let you ponder them.

Profound Thought/Idea #1
"Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." - Jeremiah 17: 7 - 8

Profound Thought/Idea #2
"But the most effective leaders are unique. They retain their individuality as they tap into their gifts from God.
Being different is attractive and makes you stand out from the crowd. The trick is: You must be you. If you try to be something you're not, people will recognize that pretty quickly, and there is nothing less desirable than a fake.
Get to know yourself. Dare to be yourself. And make sure others have a clear idea of who you are, too. When you are confident in who you are, you will have confidence to lead as God would have you do." - Unknown

Profound Thought/Idea #3
"We use our intentions to excuse what we actually did.
But here's a beautiful, life-changing truth: your intentions don't matter; your behavior does. No one can hear what you wanted to say; we hear only what you said. The impact you have on the world is what you're accountable for." - Levi Lusko

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, and please cherish your precious families.

Kev