What Will You Do With It?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This day is surely to be a great one! :)

This week I want to challenge us to consider our priorities, align our lives with those priorities, and to live intentionally.

Last week I was listening to a Focus on the Family broadcast and the guest was Pastor Bob Kraning. The episode, which you can find at focusonthefamily.com, was titled "25 Years and Still in Love" and it was presented in two episodes. Pastor Kraning made some comments that have caused me to think and I want to share a few excerpts with you here.

"I just tried to write down four things that we steal in a marriage. And I'm sure you could add to this list maybe 10 other things. First thing I wrote down was time. We tend to steal time a great deal. Uh, little thing that I read recently where a guy wrote down, he said, "If you put your work factor into 50 hours a week," okay? Some of you may be 40, but let's say 50. Some of you're up to 90 and I hope you...God speaks to you while you're here this week, 'cause you're in trouble. But let's say you work 50 hours a week, and let's say you spend 10 hours driving to and from work. Let's say you sleep 56 hours. Now you can adjust that any way you want to. I don't sleep 56 hours, buy you might. That leaves 52 hours. I guess my question is: what do you do with that 52 hours? If the average child gets seven and a half minutes a week of Daddy's time, what do you do with that 52 hours? What do you do as a wife, what do you do as a husband with that time? Time is a thing we can steal from each other very, very easily."

"What do you do with your time? What do you do with those 52 hours that you have? How much of that kinda time does your wife get? How much of that time does your husband get? And how constructive is that time as you spend it together? What kinda time do your children get out of that? See, there's a lot of factors in there that have to be dealt with."

The goal here is not to make anyone feel guilty. On yesterday's Focus on the Family broadcast singer-songwriter Tiffany Lee, known by her stage name, Plumb, talked about guilt beautifully. She said, "Guilt makes you continue to hide. Conviction, guilt and conviction are two very different things. Convictions bring you to the feet of Jesus and you bring light in. And you say, "help me. God, help me." Maybe it's in your parenting. Maybe it's in a number of other things. When you let Him in, when you come to His feet...That's not, you're not guilty. You're convicted, and He's gonna meet your need." The goal of this Happy Friday is to raise our awareness, to make us think. If there is conviction, perhaps it is your Spirit leading you. :)

So what will you and I do with our time? What are we doing with it? Does it line up with our priorities? If we were to look at one another's schedules, if we were to observe each other for a week, would what we do line up with what we say are our priorities? Life can be tough and the demands are very real...I don't think anyone would argue with that point. We must be intentional and we must fight for what we say is most important to us. Time is the most precious resource any of us have. Once it is spent, we never get it back. Let's treat it like the precious resource it is, honoring it.

There is one other thing I feel compelled to share with you all this morning. I heard this several years back and it so powerfully resonated with me. I was at a men's conference and the speaker was talking about how the breakdown of the American family began with the industrial revolution. He went on to talk about how prior to that time, all of the family worked on the farm together. With this, everyone was together during each others best time of the day. Think about it. Most of us go to work for at least 8 hours per day. During those 8 hours we usually have that time when we are most alive. When we get home we are usually tired, perhaps stressed, and the people that mean the most to us and who we love most - our priorities - are far to often given the leftovers of what we have to offer from that day. Profound! And this is not an easy one to solve. We do need to go to work and the reality is we get tired and rundown. Talk about conviction! I did not want, I do not want, my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors to get the leftovers...I want them to get the best I have to give every day. Easy? Absolutely not! Important? Critically so!!! It is an intentional effort to block out all the noise and distractions, to pray for strength, and to bring the very best I can to them every day.

A lot to think about, isn't it? Let's throw off the guilt, put away the shame, and let's take a look at the life we are living. Let's determine in our hearts and minds what our priorities truly are and then lets align the lives we actually live with the priorities we profess to have. It is about living intentionally, determining the influence we will have in the lives of those who are most important to us and honoring our purposes. :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev 

Let's Change the World!

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Empathy... I like how Daniel Goleman defined empathy in Working with Emotional Intelligence. Mr. Goleman said, "Empathy is awareness of others' feelings, needs, and concerns." I think it is beautiful; being aware of others' feelings, needs, and concerns. But how often do I really live that way?

Somewhere along the line we, as a society, apparently began to believe that it is our responsibility to tell others how they should feel, what they need, and what should concern them. Like most less than desirable things, how we got here is through a slow fade...it was one small poor choice here, another there, and then slowly we have faded to a place that is not good for any of us. Let's choose to be different! :)

When my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, was a little boy my Mom gave me a great piece of advice; she said, "Never forget, his problems are as big to him as your problems are to you." She was communicating empathy, encouraging her son to have a compassionate heart and not to judge the path being walked by my son. Great wisdom...

As we go about our days we will be blessed to have many lives cross paths with ours. There will be people who are having a great day...let's celebrate with them! There will be people who are having bad days...let's come alongside them and lighten their burden where we can. Regardless, let's intentionally choose not to judge them, their thoughts, their feelings, and let's definitely not tell them how they should feel, what they need, or what should or shouldn't concern them. Just like you and me, they are doing the best they can in the moment, and the last thing any of us want is someone telling us how we should feel, what we need or what should concern us. If it matters to them, let it matter to us. This is how we learn and grow, and this is how we encourage, empower, and equip others to become all they are capable of becoming. Judgement and criticism do little to help another; empathy and compassion have the power to change the world. Let's change the world! :)

I want to share several quotes/thoughts with you this morning...

"Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic." - Stephen R. Covey

"Sometimes we need someone to simply be there...not to fix anything or do anything in particular, but to just let us feel we are supported and cared about." - Unknown

"I would not give much for your beliefs unless they can be seen. Lamps do not talk, but they do shine." - Charles Spurgeon

"The next time you see someone enjoying something that isn't hurting anyone that's not your cup of tea, instead of saying something negative train yourself to think, "I'm glad they are happy" and carry on with your life." - Unknown

"True empathy requires that you step outside your own emotions to view things entirely from the perspective of the other person." - Anonymous

"One doesn't have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient." - Charles M. Blow

"Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of you're not alone." - Brene Brown

"Wherever there is a human being there is an opportunity for kindness." - Seneca

"Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives." - Oprah Winfrey

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and pleas stay well!

Kev

A Moms Heart: Intentional Inclusion

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day has dawned in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Y'all are in for a real treat this morning! Each morning our work family has what we call our "Check-In" Zoom meeting. It can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to nearly half an hour. It started during the COVID pandemic and the whole point is to see each other, talk about how and what we are doing, and to see if there is anything we can do for one another. Think family breakfast meets modern technology! :) Well, earlier this week one of our family members really had something on her heart - inclusion and, more specifically, being intentional about including others. It was powerful and it was clear that the whole work family was moved by her thoughts and words.

Over these last few days I have thought a lot about her words. I knew that this is what this Happy Friday was going to be about however I also knew that I was not the right person to write this Happy Friday. So, I reached out to this incredible woman at 7:30 p.m. last night - augh! I am so sorry for the late notice, Michele! :) - and asked her if she would write the message. She graciously agreed.

Michele Aycock is a truly remarkable woman, wife, mother, and friend. Please let her heart speak to you deeply as you read these thought provoking words. I am first going to share an excerpt from the email that she sent to me and then, I will share the piece she wrote on being intentional and inclusion. 

"That is what can be so hurtful about exclusion - you feel it alone.  

For example - playing duck-duck-goose.  A group activity that most all children play at some point in elementary school.  I watched Aidan be a part of that game at the Y during summer camp.  I will never forget that day because while he was sitting in the circle with other kids, he was never "goosed" because the children did not choose him.  You can not blame 6 year olds for not understanding "inclusion" but what you can hope for is adults to see a child and know how much it would mean to him.  The simple act of choosing him and holding his hand while he ran around the circle would have changed not just his day but mine as well.  It can be hard and I sometimes loose focus but that day changed the way I viewed inclusion and why intentionality matters.  It is good to be reminded and recenterd."

"All of my career has been with non-profits.  Organizations whose purpose, even existence was to serve the community.  I felt a sense of pride to be a part of that service.  To play a part, even if in some small way, in changing the life of someone in my community.  I am making a difference.  And I still feel that way, however, one word led me to reflect on how I was making that difference – intent.  After some honest reflection I came to terms with, while diversity and inclusion was part of my serving others, being intentional about it was not.  I served those that asked for my help.  But what about those that needed me to reach out to them, to let them know they were wanted and welcomed.    

This life could not have presented me with a more meaningful example of inclusion than having a special needs child.  There is a longing for inclusion felt so deeply, so intimately that words can’t express and to try simply defiles the purpose.  When you find you wake in the morning with a prayer for him already on your lips.  Only a single word is said – “please”.  In its simplicity is truth, all powerful, to what your very soul yearns for.  For a friend, a school, a coach to reach out and say your child is wanted here.  You discover even the smallest acts of kindness and compassion can prove impactful.  It is about taking a moment to see, really see, a person.  And in that moment to make a difference.  Doesn’t have to be a grand.  It can be the smallest of gestures.  What is important is that you were intentional.

My purpose is clear - To live intentionally by serving others with caring, honesty and respect."

From the bottom of my heart, Michele, thank you! Your beautiful, so very thoughtful, words are encouraging and so very inspiring!

And before closing, I must offer a brief testimony:

Without question, the life Michele Aycock lives makes a difference. You can ask any member of our work family and they will tell you - Michele is intentional, she does reach out, and she makes everyone feel wanted and welcome. It is easy to speak the words, it is far harder to live them every day. Michele consistently chooses the harder path. You are a great example for all of us, Michele, and a tremendous blessing to so many!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

Nobody's Perfect

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day has dawned in the great state of Florida! :)

Earlier this week I had a bad attitude and my behavior was unacceptable. As I sat back and reflected on what my thoughts, attitude, and actions were, I was not...let's just say, they were not in line with what I expect from myself. And as I was pouring my heart out to God, there were two clear things that came to me; 1) This is why I need the Lord. If I were perfect, I would have no need for a perfect God. And as this thought came to me, I felt His love, mercy, and grace wash over me. I am reminded that conviction comes from the Lord, condemnation comes from Satan. Yes, I had failed however I have a God who still loves me and wants to lead, guide, and direct me, if only I will let Him. 2) None of us are perfect.

How many of us, in our drive for perfection, let one failing moment or one mistake dictate the rest of the day, the next day, week, month, or perhaps, the rest of our lives? Society tries to sell us on this idea of perfection - the perfect face, body, life, family, job, etc. And NONE of them exist! There are problems, challenges, and flaws in literally everything. Right now I am sitting out on the back porch of a condo over-looking the ocean. There is literally nothing between me and incredibly clear waters but beach. Perfect, right?!?! Well, it is cloudy and pretty humid this morning and there is a fairly significant breeze. Not "perfect" however I feel very blessed to be here in this moment right now.

What would our world look like if we lived our lives with that perspective? It is easy to have that perspective when you are sitting on the back porch at the beach but how about when it comes to living our day-to-day lives? Though you undoubtedly are imperfect, your life has great meaning, value, and purpose. Do you feel blessed to be living it? Though your spouse/partner and/or children are imperfect, do you feel blessed to have them in your life? Your job is not "perfect", none of them are...are you grateful that you have one and do you work tirelessly to honor the opportunity that is before you to make a positive difference, to make things better? None of us are perfect, there are not perfect situations and how we live our lives will be impacted, in large part, by our perspective of those imperfections.

There are a few things I want to throw out to you this morning for you to ponder, Sweet Friend.

1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose for which you are perfectly equipped. Your faults, failures, and setbacks do not define you...God does. Please, speak life to yourself and relentlessly pursue all that you were created to be. And, when you stumble and/or fall, get back up, learn the lesson, and keep moving forward.

2. You matter and your life matters, greatly! Please stop measuring yourself against perfection and simply be the best you are capable of being today. You are so much greater than any mistake that you may make.

3. Please remember, like you, others have their faults, failures, and mistakes as well. Just as yours do not make you unlovable, their failing moments don't make them unlovable either. Let's not hold others to a standard we don't want to be held to, to a standard none of us can achieve. We ALL need love, mercy, and grace. It's a matter of perspective, it's an intentional choice.

I want to end this Happy Friday with a few quotes for you.

"Making mistakes is better than faking perfection." - Unknown

"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents." - Unknown

"You don't love somebody because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not." - Unknown

"Imperfections are not inadequacies, they are reminders that we're all in this together." - Brene Brown

"There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections." - Unknown

"Warriors of light are not perfect. Their beauty lies in accepting this fact and still desiring to grow and to learn." - Paulo Coelho

"I make mistakes every day. I'm not perfect in my behavior, but I want to be and that's what God is after, a heart that wants to be." - Joyce Meyer

"I can't imagine moving out of this life without leaving behind a healthy family - not a perfect family, but generations who will continue to love each other. Our family isn't perfect, but I couldn't be more thrilled with every one of them. Best of all, we enjoy each other." - Gary Smalley

"No family is perfect, but God can rebuild broken walls and restore lost dreams. By the grace of God we must do all we can to keep families strong and full of the hope that comes from fulfilling God's ideal." - Dr. David Jeremiah

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

MAKE It Happen

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day is dawning in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Do you have time or do you make time? Is today going to be a great day? Do you know? If someone wants to meet with you, do you have time to meet with them? When is the last time you have been on a vacation? Will the people you interact with today leave their encounter with you better or worse?

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines intentional this way: done on purpose; deliberate. The question/challenge for each of us this week is this: are we living our lives intentionally?

There are two specific ways this plays out that I want to speak to this morning.

1. When is the last time you went on a vacation? Like a real vacation where you were fully present with your family/friends and you just enjoyed the company of the people you were with, wherever you were?

Earlier in my career I went through a stretch were I went more than two years without a vacation. No time for a break, gotta keep grinding away! And I pushed and pushed and pushed...ever been there? My family suffered, my work team suffered, I suffered. Is it true that there is always work to be done? Absolutely! And guess what? Whether you take the vacation or not, there is still going to be work to be done! So wisdom would be that we count the cost. What is the cost of not giving yourself a break, of not spending quality time with your family? And what is the cost of leaving things undone, or to be done by someone else in your absence, for a week or two? I am sorry to disappoint you however I have found that when a person takes a week off the whole place doesn't fall apart. No, things continue to go along just fine. As important as we think we are, nobody is that important. It is all about empowering and equipping others and then giving yourself a break. And when you do take that break, everyone is better and stronger.

Please, if you have not allowed yourself to disconnect mentally and physically, do so. You, your family, your friends, and your work is far to valuable to not!

2. Do you have time to meet with someone if they call and ask for a meeting today? The answer is not a simple yes or no. The answer comes back to our priorities. All of us are incredibly busy, nobody has time, and there are thousands of choices we have each day in how we are going to spend our time. It is not at all about our calendars, it is about our priorities. Have you ever noticed that if something is important to you, or your excited about something, you always have time for it? So please, let's stop saying "I don't have time" and rather acknowledge that it is not a priority to us. 

Let's live highly intentional lives! Let's determine the type of day this will be on the front end and then intentionally do the things necessary to make that happen. Let's determine the type of relationships we want to have with the people in our lives and then intentionally do the things to nurture that type of relationship. Let's determine the purpose of our lives and then intentionally do the things we need to do every day - consistency is the key to success in any endeavor! - to fulfill that purpose. You matter! Your life matters! Your purpose matters! Let's be intentional in living!

I want to close by sharing a few quotes with you this morning.

"Align your activity with your vision. Being consistent and intentional with your daily activities will result in sustainable success." - Farshad Asl

"Success is deliberate. It doesn't come as an accident. What you work for is what you achieve. Faith without work is a vain hope." - Israelmore Ayivor

"You can't be everything to everyone. At some point you need to make a choice of what truly matters to you and why." - David Amerland

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, please choose to live intentionally, and please stay well! :)

Kev