Tools for 2023

Happy Friday, Friends:

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful new day in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

Can you believe it is already the last Friday of 2022?! It is amazing how quickly time goes by!!!

This “Happy Friday” is going to be a mixture of quotes, sayings, and excerpts from books. My heart is to simply put some tools in our toolboxes as we head into 2023…

A couple of really good quotes that we would be wise to keep in and that will, hopefully, inspire us as we remind ourselves of them throughout the year:

“Acquiring wisdom is great but it is not the goal, applying it is.” – Idowu Koyenikan

“Spiritual growth is a life to be lived, not just a lesson to be learned.” – Tony Evans

O.K., a little challenge; I am going to write the following quote on a notecard, and I am going to read it every morning of 2023…perhaps you want to join me! 😊

“Today is a new day and it brings with it a new set of opportunities for me to act on.

I am attentive to the opportunities, and I seize them as they arise.

I have full confidence in myself and my abilities.

I can do all things that I commit myself to.

No obstacle is too big or too difficult for me to handle because what lies inside me is greater than what lies ahead of me.

I am committed to improving myself and I am getting better daily.

I am not held back by regret or mistakes from the past.

I am moving forward daily.

Absolutely nothing is impossible for me.” – Idowu Koyenikan

I came across this list a couple of days ago and I wanted to share it with you all. I am sorry, I do not know the author or the title however what a remarkable world we will live in if we actually live these things out in 2023!

1. Compliment three people every day.
2. Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
3. Be the first to say, “Hello.”
4. Live beneath your means.
5. Treat everyone like you want to be treated.
6. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen.
7. Forget the Joneses.
8. Never deprive someone of hope. It may be all they have.
9. Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.
10. Be tough-minded but tenderhearted.
11. Be kinder than necessary.
12. Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
13. Keep your promises.
14. Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don’t feel like it.
15. Remember that overnight success usually takes about 15 years.
16. Leave everything better than you found it.
17. Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to do.
18. When you arrive at your job in the morning, let the first thing you say brighten everyone’s day.
19. Don’t rain on other people’s parades.
20. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Over the past two weeks I have read two amazing books…I want to share an excerpt that struck me as profound from each. Here is the point; the excerpts may or may not speak to you and that is cool…the real question is, “what are you reading?” Whatever it is, or isn’t, is influencing the life you will live…you are welcome! 😊

The first excerpt is from the book Uncommon Influence: Saying Yes to A Purposeful Life by Lauren & Tony Dungy. A remarkable book that I highly recommend!

“I’ve spent the last twenty years advocating on behalf of children in need, specifically those who need a forever family and long for a forever home. Children are an important group to serve because they are among the most vulnerable people in the world. They need food and water, shelter and clothing, companionship and love, and unless someone helps them with those things, they simply will not receive them on a daily basis. Children live at the mercy of us adults. When they are young, anyway, they cannot choose where they live, where they attend school, or where they go to church – if they go to church at all. They cannot dictate the density of their physical nutrition, the quality of their family’s emotional health, or the pace of their spiritual development. Those things are all decided for them, and children carry the results of those decisions with them for a long time – in some cases, for a lifetime.”

The second excerpt – it is actually several things that I have highlighted from the introduction…yes, the book is that good! - is from the book The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up by Brant Hansen. What a book!!! I could not put it down!!! It is challenging, inspiring, and Brant is absolutely hilarious!

“The vision is this: We men are at our best when we are “keepers of the garden.” This means we are protectors and defenders and cultivators. We are at our best when we champion the weak and vulnerable. We are at our best when we use whatever strength we have to safeguard the innocent and provide a place for people to thrive. This is the job Adam was given: keeper of the garden.”

“But women love it when we prove we’re willing to do what needs to be done. It turns out it’s not about muscle at all but about character.”

“As mentioned, this purpose goes back in history quite a few years. Like…all the way to Adam.

Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. (Gen. 2:15 NKJV)

The Hebrew word translated “keep” here is shamar. It means “to guard,” “to protect,” and “to watch over.”

Guard. Protect. Watch over.”

“Masculinity is about taking responsibility.”

“Keepers of the garden need not be physical brutes. What we do need is the willingness to bring whatever resources we have to fill this role in whatever contexts we find ourselves: our homes, our schools, our apartment buildings, our offices…anywhere we are.”

“We’re all called to be keepers and protectors in our spheres of influence, whatever and wherever they are.”

“Where are you, Adam?

Now, to be sure, they’re both in trouble. The fact that God comes looking for Adam doesn’t mean he’s more significant than Eve. But where’s the keeper of the garden? Where’s the one God specifically charged with being the protector?

Where’s the one he made to take responsibility?

Given our current human condition, it may be that God is still asking.”

“There are real humans outside your window who will suffer because you aren’t who we need you to be.”

“Do. Actively meet needs. Actively show up. Actively engage.”

“The question was about who is ultimately responsible for the man’s behavior, and the answer is…the man.”

“We can look away, and we can move our minds to other distractions, if we so choose.”

“To properly keep and protect our garden – the people and things around us that need us to grow up – we can’t be blame shifters. Since masculinity is about the taking of responsibility, it means squarely owning up to our own failures and the things we need to do.”

“You have the responsibility of guarding your heart. You have the say in whether you will allow God to shape who you are becoming. No one else will do this for you.”

“But if you want to do something terrifying, spend time pondering this possibility: You might never become the man you were intended to become.”

“Be freaked out by the very real possibility that you never become the man you could have been, that we need you to be, because it was all about you.

Bud don’t stay freaked out about it. It’s up to you. You can change your course. It’s simply a matter of intending to do what you need to do to fulfill your purpose.

It really does have to be intentional. Most good things don’t just happen.”

Again, please, thoughtfully consider the books you will read, the things you will listen to, what you will allow to be poured into your Spirit, mind, and heart for it is these things that will shape the life you live. 😊

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

I also want to wish you and your families a very healthy, prosperous, and Happy New Year!

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your families, and please stay well!

Kev

Creating Memories

 Happy Friday, Friends: 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious, freezing, Friday afternoon in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

What a special time of year! It is Christmas Eve eve and you can feel the excitement in the air! I absolutely love it!

Last Saturday, my Beautiful Bride, two of my Tender Warriors, and I took a quick, 5-day, trip to Arizona. My in-laws are both in their mid-80’s and they will be transitioning to assisted living right after the first of the year. We wanted to spend some time with them and help them get ready to make their move. To say it was a special, very blessed, time would be an understatement! Amongst a number of special moments, I want to share two with you.

Kath and I were out to lunch when I looked up and saw that the restaurant we were at had a little artificial tree decorated for Christmas. As I sat and looked at that tree, I thought about Grandma and Grandpa’s home. There was almost no indication that it was Christmas except the one angel that sits on an end table. I told Kath that after we were done eating, I wanted to go buy a small tree and decorations so her parents could decorate it. That is exactly what we did.

To watch Grandma, and especially Grandpa, decorate that tree was something none of us will ever forget. That look of awe and wonder little kids get on their face when they look at a Christmas tree…that is the exact look that Grandpa had on his face the entire time! We all genuinely enjoyed our time as Grandma and Grandpa decorated their tree, and it blessed us all beyond measure.

On Wednesday it was time to head home. We were all saying our goodbyes as I went to shake Grandpa’s hand, just as we have done every other time I have left him since I was 17-years old. This time, however, would be different. I reached out my hand to shake his hand however when he grabbed my hand, he pulled me to him for a hug…the first time we had hugged in the 38 years we have known each other! It was absolutely incredible, something I will never forget as long as I live.

People generally look at the holidays one of two ways – with great excitement or with great dread. Those who look at it with excitement usually talk about time with family, special traditions, getting and receiving gifts, etc. Those who look at it with dread will often talk about the absent family member, the hardships, the expectations, etc. Here is the thing – one way or another we are all going to create memories over these next few days. Whether they are memories we hold close to our hearts and reflect on regularly or they are memories that stir bitterness, anger, and resentment will in large part be up to each one of us, individually. Most, if not all, of us have experienced loss, hardships, and disappointments just as most of us have blessings and opportunities. We get to choose which we will focus on and pursue, which will in turn determine the type of memories we create. Please Friends, choose wisely.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

What if...?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! What a blessed day this will surely be! 😊

This week's Happy Friday is going to be a short challenge…What if everyone followed your example? Now, in full transparency, I read that as a part of a quote earlier this week and despite my best efforts, I could not find out who said it to properly cite the source. Just know the thought/idea was not mine however it has absolutely wrecked my world for the last few days as I thought about it! 😊

So, what if everyone followed your example? What if your spouse loved you and treated you like you loved and treated them? What if your kids talked to you like you talk to them? What if your friends were there for you like you are there for them? What if your coworkers work like you work? What if…

Makes you think, doesn’t it? If you are like me there are some points, some times, when you would be completely fine with your spouse/partner, kids, friends, and colleagues following your example and there would be other times that, well, not so much! This isn’t a time to beat yourself up but rather it is a time to thoughtfully reflect on the things we are saying and doing on a consistent basis and, if they don’t reflect what we want, if it is not the example we want to set for others, we work to change it. I was listening to a Craig Groechel leadership podcast this morning and he was interviewing Tim Tebow. They were talking about this very kind of thing; how do you stand by your convictions, by your beliefs when you know that you fall short of the mark…just like you and I fall short in setting the example we want sometimes. Asking, “what if everyone followed your example?” is not a statement of my or your perfection but rather a statement, a challenge, about what we aspire to be. While we will undoubtedly miss the mark from time to time, we can choose to recognize our faults, apologize when necessary, and then recommit to the type of life we want to live. That is where our power is and that is where change happens! 😊

I am going to wrap this one up by sharing a few quotes with you.

“The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example.” – John Wooden

“People may teach you what they know, but they reproduce what they are.” – John C. Maxwell

“What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” – Albert Einstein

“The world is changed by your example not your opinion.” – Paul Coelho

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

How Are You Living?

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

I have a simple question for all of us this morning; how are you living? More specifically, are you living a have to or a get to kind of life? How we answer that question, or better yet, how we live that question will determine a whole lot of things – our attitude, our effort, the quality of the life we are living, etc.

Earlier this week I posted this quote from Christine Caine on Facebook:

“…our ability to achieve our dreams and fulfill our destiny is directly influenced by our thinking. How we think determines our responses, our ability to relate to others, our level of commitment, our priorities, and the dreams we will pursue.”

Again, how are you living?

·       Do you get to love, care for, and serve your family or do you have to make breakfast, clean, go to the store, take care of the lawn…or the countless other things we do to keep our families running?

·       Do you get to go watch your kids pursue their goals and dreams or do you have to go to another game?

·       Do you get to pursue all you were created to be today, or do you have to go to work?

Changes the way you look at it, doesn’t it? We all have a choice – we will live a have to or get to life. The way we choose to look at it and live will then permeate every other aspect of our lives…for good or bad.

And listen, this is a choice that every one of us is going to have to make each day of our lives. We don’t make this, or any, choice once and it covers us for a lifetime. I will again share a quote that changed my life the day I first read it:

“Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you.” – Arthur Gordon

None of us are perfect. There are plenty of times I catch myself in the have to mindset. The key is what we do next; we can choose our mindset regardless of the situation, circumstance, and most definitely, the feeling.

Finally, this is not to ignore real problems, challenges, or struggles. We all have them. Loving, caring for, and serving others is hard…that is why we must choose to do it! It is hard running kids everywhere…I promise you; the season is fleeting – gone in a flash! – and you will actually miss those days! And yes, all of our jobs can be a grind sometimes however if we can only remember that things are happening for us, not to us, we can live a get to kind of life.

My prayer for all of us is that we will choose to live a get to kind of life, that we will intentionally choose it, every day! 😊

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

Little Things Matter

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Let’s make THIS day a great one!

I want to share a couple of short thoughts/ideas with you this morning…

Wednesday was a long day! I was up at 3:00 a.m., did my normal morning routine of Bible Study, reading, note writing, and then workout. After showering and eating breakfast, I was at my Men’s Bible Study at 6:30 a.m. I was at work by 8:00, had several meetings, and by 2:00 p.m. was on my way to Memphis, TN for an event. I arrived in Memphis at 5:15 p.m., attended the event, and then went to our men’s basketball game which started at 7:00 p.m. Leaving the FedEx Forum at halftime, I was back in the truck and on the way home a little after 8:00 p.m. I arrived home a little after 11:00 p.m. Now, here is where it gets interesting…

I would usually stay on my normal routine, meaning I would have gone to bed and gotten up at 3:20 a.m. and went about my day…the best I could on 4ish hours of sleep. And, oh by the way, I had an event to go to last night! So, on Wednesday night, for whatever reason – perhaps Godly wisdom and discernment! – I decided I was going to do something different. I had no meetings yesterday until 11:30 a.m. so I decided I would just sleep until I woke up…no alarm. For me this is usually around 7 hours of sleep. I woke up around 6:30, let my colleagues know I would be coming to the office late yesterday morning, and then followed my normal morning routine. I arrived at the office a little after 9:30 a.m. And what happened? I thrived through the day! I was not exhausted, my mind was sharp, and I felt good! And the event last night? I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Somebody – besides me!!! 😊- needs to hear this; it is o.k. to take care of yourself! The folks at the office were just fine without me and, perhaps most importantly, they got a better version of me once I got there. I can’t tell you the countless number of times I had days like the one I outlined above, I still got up at 3:20 or so, and then survived it. That is no way to live! Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson, one that I will apply in the future. It is o.k. to take care of ourselves, to recognize we need rest, and then to actually do it.

One other little tidbit for you; yesterday a colleague shot me a text asking me to give her a call when I got a moment. When we got on the phone, she stated we hadn’t seen each other all week, hadn’t had a chance to visit, and she just wanted to know how I was doing and how my week was going…that was it!!! She didn’t have any questions, and she didn’t want anything from me. She simply wanted to talk to me and see how I was doing. I can’t begin to tell you how much that phone call meant to me. It genuinely touched my heart.

Here is the lesson, Friends; we don’t have to make grand gestures to touch a heart or to make a difference. Something as little as a phone call to just see how someone is doing, to see how their day/week is going, can make a profound difference…it did for me! Let’s not let those countless opportunities pass.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev