Sharing Tools

Happy Friday, Friends! 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊Gonna be a special weekend…the college football season kicks off this weekend!!!

Over the course of the past week I have come across a few things that, as soon as I saw them I thought, “I have to share these with everyone in "Happy Friday!” So, here I am! 😊 I hope they are useful tools for you and that you can apply what you learn from them.

The first was in my continuing education class, Emotional Intelligence in Leadership. The instructor, Margaret C. Andrews, shared what she termed as “Tips for Relationship Management.” I thought they were thoughtful and insightful. Here they are:

• Work to build trust – be consistent in words & actions; follow through on commitments
• Hold the other person in high regard; show respect
• Assume positive intent (most don’t have ill intent)
• Show genuine interest and curiosity in others
• Small things are the big things – say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and, when appropriate, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I made a mistake’
• Don’t shy away from difficult conversations – look for agreement/common ground, make sure people feel heard, remain open and non-defensive
• Actively listen – understand their perspective and emotions
• Remember, you are half of any relationship

Good stuff, right? Now, I doubt there is anything on the list that made you think, “Wow, I never thought of that!” In fact, the thought crossed my mind as I was typing them out that most little kids know these things and actually do them! What about us?! Please remember Friends, it is not what we know that makes a difference. It is what we do with what we know that makes a difference.

I do, for just a moment, want to focus on her last point. Ms. Andrews thought enough of this point that she put it in bold type in her presentation. “Remember, you are half of any relationship.” The Bible tells us in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Let’s honor all people and develop a relationship with them at whatever level they are comfortable. While we are only half of any relationship, we are half, and we would be wise to do all we can to get along with everyone!

Next, I want to share something Todd Gongwer posted on Twitter. Todd is the author of LEAD…for God’s Sake! It is a great book – I have read it twice – and I highly recommend it to you. Here is what he posted on Twitter:

Five Leadership Rules For Life

1. Let your words, attitudes and behaviors always be driven by a genuine desire to help, love and serve others!
2. Lead with unconditional love: Remember, this is a choice you make that must include unconditional forgiveness!
3. Take responsibility for your contribution to the problem. No matter how minor you feel your fault is – OWN it! Reconciliation starts where blame ends!
4. Manage the construction of your heart! Don’t consume media that stirs your heart to anger, bitterness, or hatred. Compassion, empathy, and grace are much more powerful forces of the heart.
5. Always seek to understand others and be respectful of differing perspectives. Things are rarely solved when opposing sides refuse to see each other’s viewpoints.

While I think each of these is excellent and we could elaborate on any of them, I want to circle in on “Manage the construction of your heart!” Whether you like the saying, “What’s in the well always comes up in the bucket,” or you want to lean on Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,” it is very clear – we have to be vigilant about what we allow to take root in our hearts!

Finally, I want to end with this quote from Lolly Daskal:

“Leading with heart takes courage, conviction, and care for people.

Leading with soul takes selflessness, integrity, and a sense of purpose beyond oneself.” 

Now THAT is powerful! It inspires me…I want to lead with my soul!!!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please stay well, and please cherish your precious family!

Kev

Would You Treat Them Differently?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This day is going to be a special one! We all have such a great opportunity before us…I pray each one of us will seize it and live it to the fullest! 😊

This week’s Happy Friday is going to be short and sweet. I am very blessed to be taking a continuing education course at Harvard titled, Emotional Intelligence in Leadership. It is taught by Margaret Andrews, and she is absolutely phenomenal! Earlier this week we watched a video from the Cleveland Clinic during class titled, Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care. The video is very emotional and if you choose to do so you can watch it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8.

This whole Happy Friday is going to be two quotes, both taken from the video. Before sharing them with you, I want to share a definition and two things Margaret said during the class.

According to dictionary.com, empathy is “the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the emotions, thoughts, or attitudes of another:”

And as we were talking about empathy, Margaret shared two great points:

“Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is making a connection.”

“In truth, we almost never know how someone else feels.”

O.K., now I simply want to share two quotes with you.

“Could a greater miracle take place than to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau 

“If you could stand in someone else’s shoes…

Hear what they hear.

See what they see.

Feel what they feel.

Would you treat them differently?” – Unknown 

The challenge this week is simple; What will your influence be?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

Actions Speak Louder

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day prepares to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

Full transparency…I feel like I might have written about this before, maybe even recently. The thing is, I don’t really care. I came across the quote, it struck me profoundly – maybe again – and I just felt this great conviction to share it with you!

“Teach your kids by modeling what you claim to believe.” – Craig Groeschel

Kinda like a punch in the gut, isn’t it? So powerful, so convicting, and so very challenging!!!

A couple of quick thoughts:

First, if we are teaching by modeling then we don’t need to be talking, saying what we believe, do we? Sure, we might tell them what we believe, however it is the actual doing of what we say we believe that leaves a lasting impression, that truly impacts their lives. I can tell my kids over and over again that everyone matters, every life has value, meaning, and significance, yet it is what I actually live that will prove whether I truly believe this or not. If I truly believe this to be true, I will treat every person like they matter and their life has value, meaning, and significance. Simple, right? Now try living it!!!

“Claim to believe” hits a little different, doesn’t it? It comes across in a challenging way like, “Do you really believe it?” I am reminded of the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that says, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”

So Friends, what do you believe? I am not talking about the things that you say you believe with your words but rather the things you say you believe with your actions. Do our actions match our words? If the answer is no, not only do we lack integrity, but we also don’t truly believe the things we say we believe. I know it is hard to hear, however that doesn’t make it untrue. And, while it may be hard for us to do the work of searching our hearts, facing what we truly believe, and having our actions be in alignment with our beliefs, it is much harder for our children to listen to us say one thing and live another!

Let’s declare today the things we believe through our actions. When we find our actions betraying our beliefs, let’s do the hard work of figuring out why and then let’s do the essential work of bringing our actions back into alignment with our beliefs.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

What More Can I Do?

Happy Friday, Friends! 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious, stormy, Sunday afternoon in my Sweet Home Alabama!

For the last couple of weeks somewhere in my Happy Friday I have said something like, “I am reading this great book titled, On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life by John O’Leary, and I learned…” Well, this week is no different! 😊 In fact, the content of Chapter 6 has so grabbed my heart and convicted my Spirit that I am going to share several excerpts with you.

Chapter 6: What More Can You Do?

“One life can, and always does, change the world.”

“The impact of a simple spark is profound. Sometimes the smallest actions, words, and deeds transform lives.”

“My friend, we frequently cheapen our ability to influence radical change. We underestimate our personal ability to be a spark that ignites and influences the world in profoundly important ways.

We possess the ability and opportunity to positively and permanently effect change around us.

Simple action and ordinary people change the world.

It starts with one.

It starts with you.

But you have to pay attention.”

“And then he asked one simple but essential question: What more can I do?

In asking this question he saw possibility where others saw limitations, took action where others watched idly, and focused on making a difference for others.”

“What are you paying attention to? Most of us pay attention to our own problems.”

“The individuals who attain the highest forms of achievement in life don’t sprint toward success, but significance. They don’t run races, build businesses, raise kids, and live lives for themselves; they do these things to make a difference for others. They hold hands, move hearts, give love, and impact lives. Through these actions, achieving this kind of victory, the fire burns long after they are gone.”

“Yet, after getting to know the man, meeting his kids, speaking with his wife, and hearing stories of his impact from others around the country, I am convinced I know the secret to his success: his life wasn’t about him.

It was just that simple. He didn’t keep score. His work wasn’t about his earning power. His time wasn’t about what he could get. Renowned as a celebrity, he had no ego.

He paid attention to others around him – and took action to make their lives better. His actions weren’t loud, weren’t overly heroic, weren’t that costly. But by his consistent investment in others the ripple effect of his life radiates outward long after his death.”

“Believing in the power of one allows us to see where we could make a difference. It allows us to see the opportunity of What more can I do? It jars us from sleepiness, wakes us up to pay attention, and demands that we take action.

In my experience, believing that God works through all things frees me from the stress of worrying each day, being weighed down by the tragedies around me, and ignites me with certainty that the best is yet to come. I believe that God is all-knowing, all-loving, and all-powerful. And I believe that because God frequently works through our words, deeds, and love, we must remain open to his will in our lives.

Believing opens your heart to love, your eyes to possibility, and your life to the truth that your life, that every life, matters profoundly.”

“SUCCESS V. SIGNIFICANCE 

We make a living by what we get; we make a life

by what we give.

- Winston Churchill

We’re all busy.

We all have innumerable responsibilities, tasks, and chores. You may be

feeling, Gosh, I can’t do one more thing. I am maxed out with my family, my

job, the bills. What more can I do?

Here is your inflection point. Instead of throwing up your hands and

saying, “Gosh, what more can I do? – open up your heart, reach out

your hand, and say, “What more can I do?”

I encourage you to ask this question tonight. Journal it. Demand an

answer. What more can I do to achieve the opportunities in front of me,

to take back my health, to more fully celebrate the blessings God has

granted me, to better love family members, to pay attention to those

who may need a glimmer of hope?

Everything you do every day of your life matters profoundly.

When you chase success, your spark burns out quickly.

When you do something of significance, the spark jumps to life, spreads

to others, and burns brightly long after you are gone.

The work you do quietly for others may not make headlines, but it will

inspire others and give your life significance.

Decide today to make your family, your community, your organization,

your world, a better place.

Pay attention.

Ask, “What more can I do?

And see the spark catch flame and create a powerful inferno of change.

Choose significance.”

So Friends, will we be the ones? Will we choose to pay attention? Will we choose to focus on the needs of others instead of our wants, our worries, our cares, and our concerns? Will we choose to do what we can, where we are? Will we choose to live a life of significance? Will each one of us be brave enough to ask, “What more can I do?” Will we be courageous enough to live whatever the answer to that question is?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great afternoon, a great week, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev