Peace or Chaos?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

Gonna keep it real: this is going to be a short Happy Friday, as I have memories to create with my family today! I am going to share a brief excerpt from Stand Firm & Act Like Men by Joby Martin with Charles Martin. I would highly recommend this book, and while it is for men, we can all learn from and apply the point of this excerpt to our lives.

 

“Ephesians 6:15 says, “And, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.” Here’s what that means: Do you bring peace or chaos to the circumstances you walk into? Shoes take you somewhere and into something. So when you walk into your home, does it become more peaceful or more chaotic? Do things calm down or escalate? If you’re going to fight for your family, you should be an ambassador for peace every time you walk through the door. Are you?”

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, and Happy 4^th of July! Please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

 

Kev

Are You Really Living?

 Happy Friday, Friends!

 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

This morning, I want to share a real conviction of my Spirit that has been profound to me. I thought it would perhaps be a blessing to some of you as well.

 

I have 3 great Tender Warriors, my sons, and I am so very proud of them. Every morning, I pray for each one of them. In addition to praying that they would become the godly men, husbands, fathers, leaders, and friends God created them to become, I pray for their safety. Not one of us is promised the end of this day, let alone tomorrow. I fully understand this truth. Having said that, I have two sons with careers more dangerous than most. And while they are big, strong, and tough, they are still my boys, and they always will be.

 

So, as I was praying for one of the Tender Warriors in particular, praying for the safety of him and his coworkers, I felt this conviction: “Aren’t you grateful he's really living?” You see, there is zero doubt in my mind that he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing, what God created him to do. And while I certainly don’t want him to be hurt or killed, the only thing I would consider to be worse than that is if he never lived. Lived the God-ordained, Christ-honoring life that he was created to live. To me, that would be a far greater tragedy.

 

A couple of things:

1.      As parents, let us remember that our children are on loan; God is going to need them back someday. We have the unspeakable honor, privilege, and responsibility – please don’t miss that last part; I do believe we will all be accountable to God for how we have loved, led, and cared for our children! – of stewarding these precious souls. God created them uniquely, for a purpose, just as he has created you and me for ours. We could put them in bubble-wrapped rooms, never let them go outside, and we could do our darndest to make sure nothing, or no one ever hurts them. We may in fact accomplish that goal, our goal, however God’s goal for them is far different. His goal for each of us is for us to grow into all that He created us to be.

2.     Are you really living? This has been eye-opening as a parent, and it has forced me to look at my life. What am I not doing because I don’t want to be hurt? Absolutely true; if I take no risks, if I don’t go for it, I will not fail. But isn’t not trying to become all that I am created to become really the greatest failure? Just as I believe we will be held accountable for how we loved, led, and served the people God has placed in our lives, I believe you and I will be held accountable to God for the talents, gifts, abilities, and dreams He created us to accomplish. My heartfelt prayer for all of us is that we will truly live this blessed life to the fullest! No, I don’t wish anything bad to happen to any of us. More importantly, I pray none of us simply exists, never knowing the joy of truly being alive.

 

Now, I get that this might be tough for some of you to read. Truly, while it makes sense to me, those are still my boys, and I am still their Dad…I have to go to Jesus every day! There are a couple of scriptures and quotes that speak to my heart.

 

Job 14:5 (NIV)

5 A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.

 

Matthew 6:27 (NIV)

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

 

As much as we might not like it, the Bible tells us that our days are numbered. And please realize that it is Jesus in Matthew 6:27 who is asking the question. So, we can sit here and worry and worry, which will not add even a single hour to our lives or our children's, or we can live and cherish every day.

 

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

Those two thoughts, that our days are determined and we are all created for a purpose, comfort and inspire me! God has this, all of it! Our responsibility is to make the most of every day, and every talent, gift, ability, and dream He has given us. Not to be crass, the reality is we are all going to die someday. It would be tragic to never have lived!

 

These two quotes sum up my intentions and my heartfelt prayer for my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors!

 

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! ' " What a Ride!” - Hunter S. Thompson

 

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.” - Erma Bombeck

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there's anything I can do for you or your precious family. I will always help you in any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend. Please cherish your precious family, be kind, and please stay well!

 

Kev

What Are You Pursuing?

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

This week, I am going to try something a little different; let’s see how it works. This Happy Friday will be written mostly by AI. Now, if you just rolled your eyes, I would like to share what I have learned to date with you. AI is simply a tool. Whether that tool is used for good or for bad is up to the user. We are all tired of the fake pictures, stories, etc. As with anything, each of us will have to determine how to use it. I will say this: AI is here to stay; the sooner we all learn to use this tool in our personal and professional lives, the better we will be in the long run.

I am going to use AI to scan the internet for the information I desire this morning. Now, when I was learning about AI, we were taught that it is a great starting point and that you then need to go check your sources. Just being honest, I am not going to do that this morning. I am going to simply share the information and do everything I can to properly cite the sources.

Now, this all started with my memory verse last week. It is Proverbs 21: 21, which says, “Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor.”
There is a promise: “will find life, righteousness, and honor.” Who doesn’t want that? I know I sure do! So, the promise is preceded by a statement: “Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love.” Well heck, I am a “whoever,” and so are you! But what does it mean to pursue righteousness and unfailing love? I need to know because if I want life, righteousness, and honor, the Book of Wisdom tells me I must do so! This led me to AI. Here are the responses – with sources cited as good as I could.

The question I asked: “What does it mean to pursue righteousness?”

Here is the AI answer:
AI Overview
“To pursue righteousness primarily means making a proactive, intentional effort to live a life characterized by moral integrity, justice, and alignment with God's standards. Rather than a passive belief system, it requires actively chasing after holiness, doing what is right, and treating others with fairness and compassion.”
Sources: What Does It Mean to Pursue Righteousness at gotquestions.org; How to Pursue Righteousness: 11 Biblical Tips by A Woman Created On Purpose; Pursuit: Continually Devote at breadoflifechurchfresno.org; What Does It Mean to Pursue Righteousness by Christian Forums at Crosswalk.

“The Core Meaning

Active Pursuit: The word "pursue" implies effort, focus, and intentionality—like running a race or actively searching for something valuable.”
Sources: What it Means to Pursue Righteousness at KKHT 100.7 FM; Pursuit: Continually Devoted by breadoflifechurchfresno.org; Seeking God’s Righteousness by Like An Anchor; The Pursuit of Holiness by Cornerstone Community Church Singapore

“Moral Rightness: It involves doing things that are just, honest, and morally sound in everyday thoughts, words, and actions.”
Source: How to Pursue Righteousness: 11 Biblical Tips by A Woman Created On Purpose.

“Relationship with God: In a theological context, it is the pursuit of godliness and a state of being "right" with God. It involves submitting to His will rather than indulging in selfish or sinful behaviors.”
Sources: What Does It Mean to Pursue Righteousness at gotquestions.org; Flee Sin and Pursue Righteousness – But How? By Boundless.org.

“Practical Examples

Living out this pursuit on a daily basis typically includes:

Acting with integrity: Being honest and reliable in both public and private life, refusing to compromise your values for personal gain.

Practicing justice and mercy: Standing up for fairness, advocating for the vulnerable, and helping those in need.

Demonstrating compassion: Showing empathy, kindness, and forgiveness toward others.

Humility: Putting the needs of others before your own desires, and continually seeking personal and spiritual growth.”
Sources: How to Pursue Righteousness: 11 Biblical Tips by A Woman Created On Purpose; Why is it so important to pursue righteousness? 2 Timothy 2:22 by ActiveChristianity; What Does It Mean to Pursue Righteousness by Christian Forums at Crosswalk.

Then I asked: “What does it mean to pursue unfailing love?”

Here is the AI answer:
AI Overview
“To pursue unfailing love means to intentionally chase and live out a steadfast, unbreakable commitment that endures regardless of circumstances, flaws, or obstacles. The concept blends human devotion with grace, often taking on different meanings depending on whether it is viewed through a theological or a relational lens.

In a Theological or Spiritual Context
Historically and biblically, "unfailing love" translates to the Hebrew word chesed, which represents covenant loyalty, mercy, and loving-kindness.”
Sources: Psalm 36:7: God’s unfailing love is our refuge by CAP UK; Unfailing Love by Lydia Speaks; What defines unfailing love? By Bible Hub.

“It is not based on performance: It means God's love isn't earned by being perfect or lost when you make mistakes.

It is a pursuit of grace: Theologians often note that this love actively pursues the individual. For instance, in Psalm 23:6, the psalmist famously writes that "goodness and love will pursue [or follow] me all the days of my life." It means experiencing a divine love that actively seeks you out to offer refuge and peace.”
Sources: Facebook by Lisa Arrindell; What does it mean, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love…” by E-Bible; Unfailing Love by Lydia Speaks; Psalm 36:7: God’s unfailing love is our refuge by CAP UK; Pursuing Love & Loving by Looking at Christ.

“In Relationships and Human Action

When humans "pursue" unfailing love in friendships, marriages, or communities, it involves putting an active, sacrificial form of love (often referred to as agape) into daily practice.”
Sources: Pursue Love by Emmanuel Faith Community Church; What defines unfailing love by Bible Hub.

“Unwavering Commitment: It means choosing to stay dedicated, kind, and loyal even when the relationship hits a difficult season.

A Daily Choice: Unfailing love is not just a passive feeling that comes naturally. It requires intentional effort, forgiveness, and a desire to seek the well-being of the other person above your own natural tendencies.”
Sources: Pursue Love by Emmanuel Faith Community Church; What defines unfailing love by Bible Hub; What is true love by www.counsellingformen.com.au; Gods Love is Unfailing: YouTube by Evangelist Gabriel Fernandes; Love is Not Easy: Love’s Demands And Trials by Insight Timer.

See, AI does not have to be a bad thing; it can be used for great good! The question, the challenge, for all of us this morning is, “What will we pursue?” Both have a promised end!

I also want to pause for a moment and wish all the dads a “Happy Father’s Day.” And to all men, I implore you: please show up and honor your commitments and priorities every day!

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluence.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

Kev

Choices

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

On Saturday, June 6^th, I was reading my Bible when I came across two scriptures that inspired me and made my Spirit soar. This morning I want to give them to you, share a couple of thoughts about each, and let them speak to you however they will.

 

Acts 4:13 (NIV)

13 When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

 

They saw the courage, realized they were unschooled and ordinary, they were astonished, and then noted they had been with Jesus. I sure do hope and pray that people could look at me, see that I am an ordinary dude, and conclude that I have been with Jesus. The only way this hope and prayer will become a reality is if I do spend time reading my Bible, praying, and being led by the Holy Spirit. See, it is not what I want or hope for, but rather what I do, and the same is true for you.

 

Both the spiritual and secular worlds testify to the truth that we become like those we spend the most time with.

 

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

 

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." – Jim Rohn

 

As we look at our lives, a good question for all of us to ask and truthfully answer is, “Based on how I think, speak, and act, who would people say I spend the most time with?” If we are not happy with the answer, or if we are not happy with the current direction of our lives, we would be wise to thoughtfully consider who we spend our time with and adjust as necessary. Bottom line: you are influencing and you are being influenced. What will your influence be?

 

Here is the second scripture:

Acts 4:18-20 (NIV)

Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges! As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

 

So powerful! Are we going to listen to the world or are we going to listen to God? Oh, I know the Sunday School answer too. This is one of those, “You don’t have to say a word. Your actions are speaking so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying.” The choice of who we will listen to is a choice that we are going to make every day, and will have to make over and over again, day after day, until the day that we breathe our last breath.

 

I love the declaration, “We cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Amen. I must testify to what I have seen and heard! I am not trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to keep them from speaking to what they have seen and heard. I don’t want to tell anyone what they should believe, and I don’t want them telling me what I should believe. I just want us all to respect each other, and our right to think and believe what we think and believe.

 

Choices…we all have a whole lot of them to make, and ultimately, they will make us. It seems like this would be a great time to share the quote that became a life mantra for me the first time I read it:

 

“Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow, and each day that stretches out before you.” – Arthur Gordon

 

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you and your family any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish you precious family, be kind, and stay well!

 

Kev

We Need Valleys

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a sermon, and a visual came to my mind. If we are standing there looking at the continuum of our lives, we see these “mountaintop” moments. But here is the thing: what do we have to do to go from one mountaintop to the next, higher mountaintop? We have to go down through a valley. For most of us, we love mountaintops, not so much valleys. But here is the thing: it is in the valleys where we grow the strength to climb to the next mountaintop.

A few thoughts:

1. Many choose to stay on their mountaintop because they don’t want to go through the valley; they don’t want to do what it takes to gain the tools necessary to climb the next, higher mountaintop. While these folks might not struggle to gain whatever they need to grow, they are also not fulfilling their potential. They have become complacent.
2. Few, if any, enjoy the valleys. Who among us says, "I want to struggle, I want things to be difficult," etc.? Not me! However, again, there is no other way to gain what we need to reach the next mountaintop. With this, I want to encourage us all to shift our perspective. Let’s lean into the difficult seasons, glean every lesson we can, and drain each day of its potential! While the struggle is real, we will eventually reach the next mountaintop if only we do not quit.
3. As I drew this out, I made the last arc ending on the way up – I did that on purpose. Wherever you are in life, I want to encourage us all: let’s make up our minds today to finish this beautiful journey on earth strong. We will not stop learning, growing, and striving to become all that we were created to become until we take our last breath!
4. When I was sharing all of this with a friend, he said, “There is one more thing.” He then pointed to a mountaintop and said, “The God here is the same God here,” then slowly moved his finger to a valley. Amen, Brother!

There is a beautiful song on Christian radio titled, “Meet Me In The Valley.” I would strongly encourage you to search for it and listen to it. Here are the lyrics:

"Meet Me In The Valley"
Writers: Meredith Andrews, Jacob Sooter, Keith Everette Smith, Tasha Layton

Performed by Tasha Layton 

You can't see grace for what it is
Until you need it most
You don't know what you really have
Until you lose it all

I've seen Your goodness
In the best, the worst
The joy, the hurt
Every loss and every win
So I'm calling out again

Meet me in the valley
I need you Lord
Be my shield
In the middle of the war
Tell me that I'll make it
When I'm not sure
You'll be faithful like You've been before
Meet me in the valley
Meet me in the valley
Meet me in the valley

If this is where the broken things
Are healed and brought to life
Then lead me through the wilderness
But keep me by Your side

I've seen Your hand at work
In the best, the worst, the joy, the hurt
Every tear that hit the ground
Is a testimony now

Meet me in the valley
I need you Lord
Be my shield
In the middle of the war
Tell me that I'll make it
When I'm not sure
You'll be faithful like You've been before
Meet me in the valley
Meet me in the valley
Meet me in the valley

What You said on the mountain
Is still true in the valley
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me, follow me
All You've said on the mountain
I'll believe in the valley
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me, follow me
Yeah
Oh
Meet me in this valley
Come meet me in this valley
I need you lord
I need you lord

Oh, yeah
Oh

Meet me in the valley
I need you Lord
Be my shield
In the middle of the war
Tell me that I'll make it
When I'm not sure
You'll be faithful
Oh You'll be faithful

To meet me in the valley
I need you Lord
Be my shield
In the middle of the war
Tell me that I'll make it
When I'm not sure
You'll be faithful like you've been before
Meet me in the valley
Oh
Come meet me in this valley
Oh

Oh You'll meet me in this valley

Friends, let’s relentlessly pursue our purposes every day of our lives. Yes, we will absolutely go through valleys on the way there; however, who we become along the way and the view from the mountaintop will make it worth it!

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

Kev

Two Days We Can Do Nothing

 Happy Friday, Friends!

 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This day is going to be a masterpiece – I believe and declare!!!

 

“There are two days in the year that you cannot do anything: yesterday and tomorrow. Only today you can be happy, smile, dream, love, feel, and be thankful.” – Pablo

 

Two days we can do nothing – yesterday and tomorrow! All of us know this is true, indisputable, and yet, how much time do we spend most days with our hearts and minds in yesterday or tomorrow? Doing so bears no fruit and forfeits the only power we have, to live this day fully. In doing so, we can brighten any reflections we have of yesterday, and we position ourselves well to live the tomorrows we dream of and aspire to live.

 

My challenge for all of us is to live this day fully. Be sure, this is a decision that will have to be made each new day that we are blessed to live on this earth.

 

I will close with a few scriptures, with AI-generated summaries and quotes for us to reflect on thoughtfully.

 

Matthew 6:31-34

 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Here, Jesus teaches us to release worry about the future and trust God’s grace for today.

 

Isaiah 43:18–19 – “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

God invites us to let go of past regrets and embrace the new opportunities He provides today.

 

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa

 

“Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment, you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

“We are always in the present but seldom focused on it.” – James Clear

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

 

Kev

Some Things to Think About

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday morning!

 

This morning, I simply want to share a few scriptures/quotes that have really impacted me over the past month or so. I find them thought-provoking and inspiring, and I thought you might as well.

 

“I mean that I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.” – Romans 1:12 (NCV)

 

“Do people walk away more impressed with you, or with the God who created you and whom you serve?” – Steven Sukkau

 

“If you boil it down, just because someone else does the wrong thing we are not exempt from doing what’s right.” – E.A. Bucchianeri

 

“The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

“Do not ask for an easy life.

Ask for the strength to handle a difficult one.

The resilience to face challenges.

The wisdom to learn from struggle.

The courage to keep moving forward.

Difficulty shapes character in ways comfort never could.” – Unknown

 

“The weak man is at war with his life.

The strong man is at war with his limitations.

One blames everything around him.

The other fixes everything within him.

Same life, completely different stories.

The battle is always internal.” – Unknown

 

“God is not a God of confusion…

If it does not bring clarity, conviction, courage, comfort or confirmation,

It is not from God!” – Unknown

 

“The best sign of wisdom is the consistency between the words and deeds.” – Seneca

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and please stay well!

 

Kev

Get Dressed!

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

Earlier this week, I listened to a sermon by Pastor Joel Osteen  titled "Clothed with Love." This message struck a deep nerve with me. I have listened to it several times, and I felt convicted to share it all with you. While last week’s Happy Friday was possibly the shortest ever, this one will undoubtedly be the longest ever.

Below is the entire transcript from the message. I got this from Sermons Love, and you can watch the entire message if you would like here: https://sermons.love/joel-osteen/25724-joel-osteen-clothed-with-love.html

“Clothed with Love in a Noisy World
I want to talk to you today about "clothed with love". There's so much noise in our society. Opinions can become like weapons. People that are argumentative, judgmental, divisive. Everyone has a platform. Through social media, you can speak your mind, set people straight, call them out, insult them. Being harsh, rude, shocking can become normal to us. The more we see it, the more desensitized we are. If we're not careful, we'll become like what's around us. We'll think it's okay to attack, belittle, insult. Everyone's doing it. But God has called us to live by a higher standard, to be the exception.

Don't let all the noise, the hate, the disrespect, people who are loud and abrasive, don't let that poison get in you. Don't become like your environment. Don't let that poison get in you. Colossians 3 says, you must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowances for people's faults and forgive the person who offends as Christ has forgiven you.

Paul was saying, you have to get dressed each morning in the right clothes. Clothe yourself. Clothes don't jump on you. You have to choose to put them on. Put on kindness. I'm going to be nice and friendly today. Put on gentleness. I'm going to be easygoing and understanding. Put on mercy. I'm going to make allowances when people don't perform perfectly. I'm going to give them grace when they make mistakes.

Choosing the Right Spiritual Garments Daily
Put on humility. I'm not going to go around arrogant, looking down on people. I'm going to treat everyone with respect. Put on respect. Put on patience. I want to stay in peace when things don't go my way. Put on forgiveness. I'm not going to hold a grudge, living offended. I'm going to forgive those that do me wrong. After Paul listed all these qualities that we need to put on each day, he finished by saying, and the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.

You would think he would say the most important thing is faith. You can't please God without faith. Or truth. It's the truth that sets people free. Or justice. You have to stand up for those that don't have a voice. Help the less fortunate. Those are all good. We should put them on, but the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Because without love, the others aren't as effective. You can be right. You know the other person is wrong. You have the facts. Here's the truth. But without love, it's just noise.

That's what Paul said in First Corinthians: "If I speak with the tongue of men or the tongue of angels and have not love, I am only a loud clanging cymbal." One version says a noisy gong. He was saying you can be gifted, articulate, powerful, have all this impressive knowledge. But without love, you're just a lot of noise. Just a lot of noise. Just a lot of clanging. Not effective. Not changing anything.

Why Love Matters More Than Being Right
A lot of people are sincere. They're passionate. But they're not speaking the truth in love. They're not putting on the most important piece. They become offended, argumentative, disrespectful. They wonder why they're not effective. Why they don't have more influence. There's no love. It's ego, pride, competition, making others look bad so they'll look good. Those are not true. Those are not things God is going to bless. You may be right, but where's the love? Where's the kindness? Where is being merciful and understanding?

You can be gentle without being weak. You can be kind and strong at the same time. You don't have to be harsh and condescending and hateful because someone doesn't agree. Start attacking, confronting. Love is more powerful than loudness. Truth spoken softly is more powerful than yelling at someone. Being offensive, insulting to prove a point, criticizing someone back, that's sinking down to their level.

Do yourself a favor. Put on your coat of love. See, Jesus was strong, but he was kind. He had the truth, but he was merciful. He was God, better than any of us. Never made a mistake, but he walked in humility. He washed people's feet and served others when he could have been served. And yes, he got upset. He threw people out of the temple, but it wasn't out of bitterness and hatred. I'm going to prove to you and push you down. He didn't want to see people being taken advantage of.

Love in Action: Jesus' Perfect Example
Now, I'm not saying to not be passionate and to never stand strong, but you should do it out of love and not out of anger and ego and competition. If you don't have love, your good intentions are going to turn into clanging cymbals. A lot of noise, but little impact. Being loud doesn't equate to being effective. Being harsh, argumentative, trying to force your opinion. You may be right. You have the truth, but you can do it the wrong way and still be wrong.

And I'm not talking about just in a debate or with someone online. How about in your marriage? How about with your children? Are you putting on love? Making allowances for their weaknesses? Or are you harsh? Looking for reasons to correct and prove that you're right? Are you forgiving the wrongs as Christ forgave us? Are you holding a grudge? Making them pay? Giving them the cold shoulder? After all, they were at fault. They deserve it. How about putting on some mercy? How about putting on some gentleness? Be understanding.

The mercy you show others is the mercy God is going to show you. I was in my backyard one afternoon watering the plants. We have some flowers in these big pots and I'd gotten some of the weeds out and put new dirt in. I was hot and sweaty and I'd worked out earlier that morning. Exercise, rode my bike. Victoria came out and said, "Joel, we need to run up to the store and pick something up." Piece of equipment she had ordered.

A Personal Story: What Your "Clothes" Communicate
Well, I was in my workout  clothes. My jeans were on. My gym shorts and this blue t-shirt that I always wear. My children kid me that it's my uniform. I've had it like 47 years and the collar's all stretched out, faded, straggly on one side. I have other shirts, but that's the one I like. And I told Victoria, "I can't go anywhere. I'm not dressed. I'd have to go in, take a shower, put some better clothes on." She said, "No, Joel, you don't have to get out of the car. They're going to put it in the back for us."

So we got there. They loaded it in the trunk. All was good. But as we were driving away, Victoria saw this other store. When she gets close to a mall, there's an unseen force that tries to pull her in. She said, "Joel, let's go in there real quick. I've been wanting to. There's something I really want to see." I said, "No, Victoria, I am not dressed. That's a nice place. I'll go in Home Depot. I'll go to Walmart, but I'm not going in there."

She said, "Joel, you're fine. You look great." I said, "Joel, you're fine. You look great." I'm either so dumb or so naive. She talked me into going. When she said I look great, I lost all sense of reasoning. We walked in, and it was a nice store. There were three salespeople there to greet us. Two men and a woman. The men were dressed in the finest suits, impeccable, shoes shined. The woman was in a beautiful pantsuit, elegant, sophisticated. Looked like they had just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Looked like I had just stepped out of a farming magazine.

The first thing the man said was, "Oh, Pastor Joel, we've never seen you like this." We all laughed and laughed. I thought, yeah, and you're about to have never seen me another way if you keep laughing. Here's my point. When I walked in, I hadn't said a word, but my clothes sent a message. What I was wearing communicated something to them. Not only that, what I had on was affecting me. I didn't feel good about going in. I knew I wasn't dressed appropriately.

The Unseen Clothing: Attitudes That Speak Louder Than Words
People read your  clothing before you say a word. They form impressions before you open your mouth. Depending on how you dress, casually, fun, sophisticated, dressy, that's all communicating something. If you're dressed sloppy, clothes wrinkled, don't fit, out of style, risqué, those are all sending a message about you. Well, that's the physical, in the seen, but it's the same in the unseen. When you put on kindness, gentleness, humility, mercy, you're sending a message to people. Before you say a word, they can sense who you are.

It's creating this impression, love, goodness, respect, that draws people in, that gives you favor, that brings healthy relationships. And sure, the opposite is true. If you get dressed with pride, competition, bitterness, sarcasm, that's how people are reading you. You're projecting it without saying a word. You know how it is. You can sense when someone is arrogant, when they're unfriendly, when they have a chip on their shoulder. You can sum them up in no time by the feeling and how they carry themselves.

In the same way, you know when you have the wrong clothes on. I knew my shirt was old. I knew my gym shorts were dirty. It's the same way in the unseen. You know when you have a bad attitude, when you're condescending, when you're harsh, you won't forgive. It's not just sending a message to others, but it doesn't feel right to you. You don't like who you are. You may get used to it, talk yourself into it, but deep down there's an unrest, an uneasiness. It's because that's not who you were created to be.

You were created to put on love, kindness, gentleness, being merciful, overlooking faults. And sometimes you have  clothes that don't fit anymore. You've grown out of, they're too small, the wrong style. You put them away and get clothes that fit. Maybe you've worn being judgmental, critical and jealous for a long time. Or you put on a coat of pride, bitterness, hard to get along with. That was fine for a while, but now you're growing out of them. God is calling on you. You have to do your part and have a wardrobe change.

Time for a Spiritual Wardrobe Change
Can I tell you, bitterness doesn't look good on you. That sour attitude smells bad. You don't have to say anything. You're pushing people away. The pride or having to always be right, that doesn't fit you anymore. The jealousy, holding on to an offense, that's out of style. Those clothes are over and done. How about a spring cleaning? Don't even send them to Goodwill. Put them in the trash. Put on love. Put on kindness, gentleness, friendliness, understanding, respect. That's the wardrobe God designed for you.

He's your tailor. He knows what fits, what's in style, what's going to make you look good, what's going to be effective. Do you know how it is in fashion? There's always some knockoff brands and some imitations. Not quite the same, but they're good enough. It's kind of close. Don't be fooled. The enemy has his own clothing line. He'll tell you, hey, this pride is going to look better on you. This jealousy, it's the hottest thing going. This greed, being self-centered, only thinking about you, this will look amazing on you. This judgment, being critical, insulting people, this is just your size. Look how flashy it is.

Don't put on that integrity. That's boring. Kindness, patience, mercy. That's old school. That's outdated. Don't fall for his lies. He has fake merchandise. When you put on the wardrobe God designed for you, you'll not only feel better, but you are projecting the right things to those around you. You'll draw in good people, favor and opportunity. You'll be more effective.

Lessons from a Father's Example and Scripture
I saw this with my father. He taught me by example how to put on a coat of love. He was kind. He was kind and merciful. Even back in the 1950s when he was pastoring that church and they didn't understand his new direction and they didn't want him anymore, they asked him to leave. He was never bitter. He never talked bad about the people. Didn't go around with a chip on his shoulder. He was merciful. He forgave them and moved on.

He wasn't accepted anymore in his traditional denomination. There were friends and colleagues he'd gone to school with. And they were no longer for him. They didn't want to have any contact. Like they would be contaminated, couldn't get around him. He said, "Joel, they drew a circle to shut me out, but I drew a bigger circle to shut them in." You can't stop hurt from coming, betrayal, people that are unfair. But when you have your coat of love on, when you're merciful, forgiving, making allowances for people's shortcomings, it doesn't poison you. You keep enjoying your life. And being good to people, drawing in the favor of God.

James 2 says, whatever you say and whatever you do, remember, you will be judged by the law of love. It doesn't say we're going to be judged by how many arguments we won, how many people we corrected, how perfect our doctrine was, how successful we were. No, we're going to be judged by, were you wearing your coat of love? Were you good to people? Are you merciful, kind, forgiving? Did you walk in humility, patience and generosity?

James said, whatever you do, and whatever you say, that means before you post it on social media, before you express your opinion, before you confront someone, ask yourself, am I doing this out of love, out of kindness, gentleness, or are you doing it out of hurt, out of anger, jealousy... I don't believe you. I don't want them to look better than me. I'm going to say something demeaning or I'm not going to let this co-worker get away with being rude to me. I'm going to be rude back to him.

Overcoming Evil with Good, Not More Noise
There's no blessing when you're doing things out of spite, ill will, bitterness. That's going to drag you down and make life more difficult. And this is the way many people live. Disrespect for disrespect. You hurt me, I'm going to hurt you. They're a loud clanging cymbal. We try to answer back with loud clanging cymbals. Let's be louder, harsher, more disrespectful. That's not the way to win. The scripture says you overcome evil with good. When you're kind to those that are not kind to you, Proverbs says it's like you're heaping coals of fire on their head.

When you stay in love, God will fight your battles. He'll vindicate you better than you can vindicate yourself. First Corinthians says love never fails. It doesn't say strength never fails. Being right never fails. Proving your point. No, love never fails. Love brings down walls. Love heals, restores, protects. Love will help you keep your heart pure.

Jesus had a lot of people against him. Critics, naysayers, religious leaders that were jealous. But he didn't spend a lot of time arguing with people, getting into heated debates, trying to prove who he was. He let his actions speak. When he was brought before Pilate, all these false accusations, the scripture says he answered him not a word. He knew they weren't going to change their mind, that they were determined to misunderstand him.

And sometimes we're trying to win over people that are never going to be for us. We're getting all riled up trying to convince them to change and see it from our point of view. We have to accept it's okay if someone doesn't agree. It's okay if they're not for us. You don't need everyone to be for you to fulfill your destiny. And it's really easy to get baited into conflict, argumentative, angered, frustrated, because they're not changing their mind. They're insulting, saying things that aren't true.

Some battles you're not supposed to fight. It's a distraction to try to get you off course, wasting time, stressed over something that you can't control. In the big picture, it's not going to stop your purpose. Jesus didn't answer every critic. He didn't try to change every person's mind. The enemy would love to deceive us into becoming loud, clanging cymbals. You have the truth. You know you're right, but you got bent out of shape, aggravated.

It takes maturity to not get drawn into the wrong battles, because human nature wants to fight, defend, stand up. There are times that's important. But it's not always the case. Those are the  clothes he's designed for us to wear. But sometimes we're wearing knockoffs or hand-me-downs. I got this pride jacket, Joel, from my relatives. This temper, this harshness, it was passed down from my family. My father used to wear it. He was angry. My grandmother gave me this coat. She was jealous. She was bitter.

No, those clothes don't look good on you. Their day is over. It's time to get a new wardrobe. Your heavenly father is an amazing designer. He's already created custom-made clothing just for you. Kindness, gentleness, humility, forgiveness, patience, and the most important piece that you must wear, your clothing of love. Don't leave home without it. If you forget to put that on, bitterness will show up, offense, judgment, jealousy.

Love Shown Through Actions, Not Just Words
First John says, let us stop saying we love each other and let us start showing it by our actions. Paul was saying, talk is cheap. You can say all day long you love me, but if you won't forgive me, if you won't quit being jealous, if you won't stop talking behind my back, there's no proof that you love me. Love is action. There should be evidence that you love people. Express your love all through the day. It may just be a smile, to a stranger, someone passing by. You could ignore them, look down, but you acknowledge them. You're saying, I see you. You're valuable. I care about you. You just deposited something in them.

It may be bringing your coworker a cup of coffee in the morning or filling your wife's car up with gasoline so she doesn't have to. Love should be seen. People that God's put in your life should have some evidence that you love them. It's good to tell them. Words are important, but words alone are not enough. There should be some good deeds of how you're being a blessing. It may be when that friend makes a mistake and hurts your feelings, you could be upset, make them pay, but you're merciful. You let it go and don't try to make them feel guilty. That's love in action.

I was at the grocery store one time and this young woman was at the cash register. It's very crowded and lines were backed up and she was very slow. She was new and didn't know how to work. Everything is taking forever. Well, there were several people in front of me and they were getting very upset, very impatient, and they let her know, making comments, harsh, condescending. But I want to live my life being a part of the solution and not the problem, lifting people up and not putting them down. People already have enough hurts, enough things to overcome and things that we don't know anything about. They don't need another condemning voice, judgment. Come on, do better. Can't you get it right?

No, God put them in your path so you can be a healer, a lifter, a restorer. When I got up there, I simply said, "You're doing great. Everything's going to be fine and we appreciate you being here." I'll never forget. Tears started running down her face. She said, "I'm not going to cheat you." She said, "My baby is in the hospital. I'm so worried. I can't really concentrate on what I'm doing." We took a moment to pray right then and there. You don't know what people are going through. We can be quick to judge, quick to criticize, but if you were to walk in their shoes, you'd probably have more mercy. You'd be more understanding.

Jesus Modeling Love in Every Encounter
The world needs more love. We have a lot of division, strife, people arguing, trying to push them down, prove their point. God is counting on us to express his love, to show his kindness, his mercy. You can help heal, restore, and put people back on their feet. It doesn't happen through judgment, pride, impatience, holding grudges. That's the wrong clothing. All through the scripture, we can see how Jesus didn't just teach about love, but he wore love. He modeled it.

He saw Zacchaeus, a despised tax collector. They were known for their dishonesty. Society had written him off, but Jesus called him out of the crowd and said, "I want to go to your house and have dinner with you today." Jesus went to others. Jesus went to people that others thought were too far gone. Love in action. Or how about when the leper came to Jesus, fell at his feet and said, "Jesus, if you want to, you can heal me." Well, lepers were unclean, contagious. They were supposed to keep their distance. Here, this man put Jesus at risk. He'd broken protocol and gone against safety requirements.

Jesus could have been upset. Get him away from me. You're going to get me infected. But Jesus bent down and touched the man. I can hear the gasp in the crowd. Can you believe it? He's going to get leprosy. The scripture says instantly the man's skin was made whole. Love that can be seen. How about on the cross after being betrayed and mocked? Jesus was up there in great pain. He could have been bitter, angry, but he said, "Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're doing."

Showing love is not just being kind to people, but it's forgiving wrongs, not holding grudges, being merciful. Is there someone you need to forgive today? Family member, you need to let off the hook. Joel, they're guilty. They did me wrong. Only the guilty need mercy. We're not going to be judged by how right we are, how much faith we have, but by the law of love.

Just like you get dressed each morning physically, you need to get dressed spiritually. Put on kindness, humility, gentleness, respect, and then the most important piece of  clothing you must wear is love. Let all you do and all you say run through the filter of love. Not pride, not judgment, not offense, but love.

Maybe today you need to change your wardrobe. You've been wearing a sour attitude, being harsh, jealous. None of that looks good on you. That's outdated. That's the wrong designer. The good news is there's a new wardrobe waiting just for you, already paid for, just your size. Now do your part and start clothing yourself in love. If you'll do this, I believe and declare, you're not only going to feel better about who you are, more peace, more confidence, but you're going to be more effective, have better relationships, and see the goodness of God in greater ways. In Jesus' name. And if you receive it, can you say amen?”

Amen!!! Friends, let’s make sure we are properly clothed today!

Please feel free to contact me anytime if there is anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, be kind, and please stay well!

Kev

Steward Your Influence Well

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

A couple of weeks ago I came across this quote:

“The stewardship of influence. What have you done with [your] influence?” – Johnny Hunt

I want to share a couple of definitions with you. Both come from Merriam-Webster. You can find them at www.merriam-webster.com.

Stewardship – the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care

Influence – the power or capacity to cause an effect in indirect or intangible ways

I also want to remind us of a couple of statistics that I have shared in previous Happy Fridays. Research has shown that the most introverted person will influence more than 10,000 people in their lifetime, while the average person will influence more than 80,000 people during theirs.

So, back to the quote, “What have you done with your influence?”

I truly don’t feel the need to say much more. We would all be wise to assess the words we speak and the actions we take because they are influencing those around us. We would also be wise to thoughtfully ponder the type of influence we are having. Let me ask it another way; are the people closest to us thriving or struggling? This would be a great indication of the type of influence we are having.

I will close – yes, this is a very short Happy Friday! – with another quote:

“Don’t preach, just set the example. You will influence more people through your actions than your words.” – Germany Kent

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluence.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, please be kind, and stay well!

Kev

You Are Incomparable

Happy Friday, Friends:

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

How is it already May 1^st?!

 

I am reading a wonderful book by Todd Mullins titled Don’t Let Doubt Take You Out: Replacing Fear and Doubt with Faith and Truth. In Chapter 4, The Comparison Game: Why nobody wins and how to stop playing, I came to a part that really stood out to me. I want to share it with all of you this morning.

 

“Anytime we compare ourselves to others – what they have or what they’ve accomplished – it can only lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. We end up undervaluing the good in our lives because it doesn’t seem as good as what others have in their lives. Comparison is more than a harmless habit; it is a corrosive force that undermines our self-worth and distorts our perception of reality. When we measure our lives against the perceived success or happiness of others, we fail to see the unique journey God has laid out for us. Instead of celebrating our own achievements and blessings, we become fixated on what we lack.”

 

Pretty powerful, isn’t it? I want to share a few more things with you and simply allow you and your Spirit to work through them.

 

Galatians 6:4-5

4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load.

 

Hebrews 12:1-3

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 

Ephesians 2:10

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 

Galatians 1:10

10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

 

“When you compare yourself to others, you either elevate them and devalue yourself or you elevate yourself and devalue them. Neither is pleasing to God.” – Unknown

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Oliver James

 

Friends, you are a unique, beautiful, one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Please simply become all that you were created to become and use all that you are to love, care for, and serve others. Truly, when it comes to you, there is no comparison!

 

I want to close with another excerpt from this great book. It is found in Chapter 5, When Doubt Drives You to Dependency.

“…the way you see yourself is not the way God sees you. God sees all the gifts and abilities He has put inside you. Often we focus on our flops, failures, and mistakes. We think, “How could God use me? I have messed up so badly.” But God is not worried about how much you’ve messed up; He wants you to step up and become the person He’s created you to be.”

 

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, be kind, and stay well!

 

Kev