Civility, Critical Thinking & Normal Expectations

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you. Anybody else suffering getting back into the routine after the holidays?!?!

I have a few different things I would like to share with you on this beautiful day.

• Last Sunday, January 1, 2012, there was a newspaper article in the Arizona Republic by Shaun McKinnon titled, "After tragedy, civility still elusive." The article talks about our civility, or lack there of, as a society as we close in on one year since the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and several others in Tucson. Some quotes from the article really jumped out at me. I wanted to share them with you and allow them to speak to your heart as they will.
• "Yet one year later, Americans and their elected leaders struggle to show each other respect when opinions differ."
• "Surveys suggest that Americans recognize the lack of civility and want their leaders to behave better but experts say that until people exercise civility themselves and demand it from their representatives, little will change."
• The article then gave these examples of when civility was not shown [I have intentionally removed the political affiliations and names of those involved. This isn't about politics...it's about civility]:
• A Representative yelled, "You lie!"
• A leader [I struggle typing that...this civility thing isn't easy!] walked out of the chamber rather than allow a low member of the other party to speak.
• At town-hall meetings, voters booed lawmakers and shouted down fellow citizens who tried to express differing viewpoints.
• "It's a shame we're reaching that place," said Dahnke. "If we can't talk to one another, we can't do anything else. Being able to maintain civility is critical to problem-solving at any level, whether it's a local school board or international diplomacy. If you cannot talk to one another, you can't solve a problem." Cassandra Dahnke is co-founder of the Houston-based Institute for Civility in Government.
• "Any movement toward more civil politics [how about a more civil way of life?!?! Again, this isn't meant to be about politics] will likely originate at the grass-roots level and move through the system slowly, experts say."
• "We should balance speaking with listening," he said. "Civility is as much about listening as it is about speaking. It's acknowledging differences. Having civil dialogues is so important to expose ourselves to real, live people who have differing opinions and find out why they have differing opinions." This quote is attributed to Clark Olson, an Arizona State University communications professor who has studied civility.
• So my simple question my Friends is, "What will our influence be?" Will we show respect to those with a different opinion? Will we listen, just listen, to somebody else? Can we, will we, some how, some way, find a way communicate with each other? The experts say it will begin at the grass-roots...the choice is ours!
• I absolutely love being a Dad! Right now I have the unspeakable honor & privilege, the responsibility of guiding my 15-year old son as he makes the very difficult transition from boy to man [that hurt to type!]. This week we were talking about the need to think critically but not to be critical in your thinking. To know your values, your beliefs, to listen respectfully to all and then to make decisions that you believe in your heart are the best for you. And, while doing this, recognizing and respecting others right to have their own values, beliefs and their decisions. It seems to me that somewhere along the way we got confused and began to think that everyone has to agree with what we think, believe and decide. Think about the fights, the arguments, the pain that has been caused because one person or another felt that they had to make another agree with their point of view. Who am I to tell you, or anyone else, what you should think, feel, believe or decide? I don't have the answers. I can simply testify to what I have found to be true in my life. Life is hard and we are all trying to figure this out, to do the best we can. I believe [please feel free to disagree! :)] that one of the first duties and responsibilities of critically thinking is to value each person, to respect each person as well as their right and responsibility to be themselves. What is right for me does not have to be right for you and I have found that the true joy and beauty of life is found in interacting with those from different backgrounds, with different experiences, thoughts, ideas, etc. Please, thoughtfully consider thinking critically - staying true to your values & beliefs and using your intelligence & common sense - without being critical.
• Continuing to read "Wooden on Leadership" by John Wooden and Steve Jamison this morning. Read this and just had to share it with you. While these are rules for a basketball team, I think you will find that they would be great rules, uh, sorry Coach, normal expectations, for life.
• "My overall description of those lists as they pertained to players came under the general heading "Normal Expectations." In other words, I did not consider the rules a hardship or particularly unusual."

1. Be a gentleman [lady] at all times.
2. Be a team player always.
3. Be on time whenever time is involved.
4. Be a good student in all subjects - not just basketball [your job].
5. Be enthusiastic, industrious, dependable, loyal and cooperative.
6. Be in the best possible condition--physically, mentally and morally [powerful!].
7. Earn the right to be proud and confident.
8. Keep emotions under control without losing fight or aggressiveness.
9. Work constantly to improve without becoming satisfied.
10. Acquire peace of mind by becoming the best that you are capable of becoming.

Coach Wooden then has a gap and then lists the following [by the way, "never" is measurable! Think about it...you never do it or you do]:

1. Never criticize, nag or razz a teammate.
2. Never miss or be late for any class or appointment.
3. Never be selfish, jealous, envious or egotistical.
4. Never expect favors.
5. Never waste time.
6. Never alibi or make excuses.
7. Never require repeated criticism for the same mistake.
8. Never lose faith or patience.
9. Never grandstand, loaf, sulk or boast.
10. Never have a reason to be sorry afterwards.

I would like to tell you that I am sorry for this being so long however that wouldn't be pure-hearted. The heart was full this morning and I just had to share with you. I hope something in all of this will speak to you on this incredible day.

Please don't ever hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I am honestly happy and willing to serve you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your family & friends.

Kev