A Game Ball

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning and that an awesome week is coming to a close for you! This is going to be one incredibly special weekend; my oldest son turns 16-years old tomorrow (how is that possible?!), I have a great friend whose daughter is getting married tomorrow (he has to be asking himself the same question!) and another great friend whose daughter is getting baptized this weekend (praise the Lord!). Yes, this is going to be a special weekend indeed! Oh yeah, and it is supposed to be 100 degrees tomorrow for the first time this year...all of you who live in the Midwest and east, who I tease in the winter, can commence with the assault now!

I blew it. I had a failing moment as a Dad last Saturday. I recognize that it was but a moment, that I can learn from it and, if I am willing to have a humble, teachable spirit, I can grow & change from this experience. How come learning has to hurt so bad sometimes?!

I have the honor & privilege of serving as one of the coaches on my 12-year old sons baseball team. Last Saturday we were playing a game against the 1st place team in the league, a game we all really wanted to win. My boy was starting at pitcher for our team and the Haslam family was excited about the game all day long...the game was at 4:30. During the day my 15-year old (hey, tomorrow isn't here yet! gulp!) came to me and told me about some comments his brother had made that weren't humble. He was bothered and so was I.

The game started and I assumed my normal position - sitting on a bucket of baseballs, keeping the score book for our team. Throughout the game I yelled encouragement (to players on both teams) and instruction to our players. With every pitch I communicated to my boy - "throw inside", "keep it low", "move it around", etc. After the game was over I was picking up the bases as the Head Coach talk to the team. I heard him say, "usually when we win and the pitcher only gives up 2 runs I give him the game ball. Today however I am going to give the ball to (kids name)." He gave the game ball, deservedly so, to a boy who hasn't hit a lot and who hit a home run in the game. I thought nothing of it.

After the game my Beautiful Bride, asked my 12-year old, "Did you play good?" He said, "I don't know. Dad, did I play good?" That didn't feel right or good. As we were driving home he said, "Dad, I thought I would get the game ball. Did you?" I said, "Yes son, I thought you would get the game ball." Odd question; he usually doesn't even think about these things. Later in the evening he asked me, "Dad, do you think I deserved the game ball?" I assured him, "Yes, I thought you played great today." Clearly something was bothering him. My spirit was soon going to give me a wake up call.

I woke up Sunday morning early...and my spirit was greatly troubled. I fought through and read my bible, read my book and my spirit was killing me to move. I hurriedly went up stairs, got dressed and drove to Wal-Mart. I bought a brand new baseball (a real one made of leather, not synthetic leather...that is a big deal when you have 3 boys!). When I got home I wrote "Game Ball", the date, my boys pitching & hitting stats from the game and "Greatness is found within you" on the ball. And then I sat and anxiously waited for him to come down stairs. Wasn't easy...he is our sleeper! When he came down stairs he looked at the ball and then gave me a hug (I love weekends as when my wife and sons come down stairs they all give me a hug...even my 15-year old - WooHoo!).

This hug was different though, it last longer. It was in this moment that I realized my error. I had been more coach than Dad and, while it was his idea for me to help coach his team, what he wants, what he needs more than anything is for me to be his Dad. To love him, to support him, to care for him, to provide for him (in all aspects of his life), to lead him, to guide him unconditionally, at all times. In this area, real or perceived (which is what really matters) I had failed. It wasn't the game ball from his coach that mattered ,it was a game ball from his Dad that mattered. A symbol that his Dad loved him, that his Dad was proud of him...that he is my boy, I am his Dad and nothing will change that. 

Later in the day he and I had a nice talk. I apologized to him for my failure, we talked about "respecting all, fearing none" (addressing that issue of lack of humility) and I promised him I would change. This week, as I have had my time of prayer, I have begged God to lead him through me - especially during his games - and things have been different during the two games he has played. He looks lighter, there is a bounce in his step, he has smiled a ton (I love when I see that smile behind the catchers mask!), he is having fun and I have been his Dad.

A few thoughts/ideas I want to share with you:
1. Friends, we are all going to have failing moments in our lives. I don't like it, you don't like it...nobody likes it however they are a part of life. It is what we do after the moment of failure that is key! If you are a parent, you have had a failing moment. That moment does not make you or define you as a failure. It is the opportunity to grow to the fullness of what you were created to become. It is what your kid, my kid, needs whether they are 1, 15 (weeping!), 30 or 60. Please, do not let a failing moment define you.

2. Please listen to the convictions of your spirit. You know, I have never once in my life regretted listening to the convictions of my spirit...my regrets are all tied to when I went opposite of what my spirit told me to do. Trust me, running to Wal-Mart to buy my boy a game ball was not my idea...it was the conviction of my spirit which is how God speaks to us.

3. Who in your life needs a game ball? I would encourage you to go buy them one - your spirit will tell you right now, in this moment if you should. I simply want to encourage you to obey your spirit. Please remember, it isn't about outcomes...it is about them being yours, them doing their best, them knowing through a simple, silly symbol that you love them, that you support them, that you care for them...unconditionally, at all times.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can ever do for you or your families.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish those precious families. I am going to go hug my 15-year old now!

Kev