Conviction

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day, fully aware of the blessings that abound in your life! What a beautiful morning! I can hear birds chirping outside, I can hear the city slowly waking up (the rest of the Haslam household appears to be a long way from this point!) and I am in the comfort of air conditioning...not yet hit in the face by what will be 111 degrees today!

This week has been interesting. Several different things have come at me...each one I thought would be what "Happy Friday" would be about. As I continued to ponder all this, talk with God it suddenly hit me - love when I actually slow down, shut up and listen to the Holy Spirit - that the totality of all these things is the "Happy Friday." So here goes:

• On Tuesday I was driving down the road listening to the radio and the song "The Words I Would Say" by the Sidewalk Prophets was on. I was singing along - it wasn't good! - and when I sang the course, there was this incredible feeling, sense of peace in my spirit. Here are the words that spoke so strongly to my spirit...maybe they will speak to yours as well:

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

The line that spoke to my heart so powerfully, the line that keeps drawing my eyes to it even now is, "Be strong in the Lord." Yes, that I would live today in the Lord's strength, not mine...oh please, not mine!

• So then on Wednesday morning I am on Twitter, sending out a thought of the day, and I see where Joyce Meyer has tweeted this scripture:

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." - Proverbs 4:23

Again my Spirit leaps. Yes Lord, I am listening. I don't fully understand it, I will think about this scripture, ponder it, over the next 3 days. When negative thoughts, ideas try to creep into my mind my Spirit reminds me of the truth of God's word.

• So I am getting old and I don't remember which morning I came across this quote - it was somewhere between Monday - Wednesday and no, that does not mean it was on Tuesday!

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is." - Albert Camus

Said it before and I will say it again and again; I don't have enough faith to not have faith in God, to try to do this life in my own knowledge, wisdom, strength & power. I am way to aware of my failures, short-comings, inadequacies, etc. (I appreciate you all not pointing them out!) to think I can lead my life, my family. I realize some reading this might not believe what I believe and that is o.k. It doesn't change what I think of you, how I feel about you and I certainly respect you and your right to believe what you believe. I am simply testifying to what I have found to be true in my life.

• On Wednesday I went to lunch with a dear friend. God brought us together about 3 years ago. He is 65-years old, he possess an incredibly sweet spirit and my life is blessed richly each time we are together. Funny thing is he thinks God gave me to him, that God uses me to bless his life...poor, misguided soul! :)

As we were talking he asks me, "where does your conviction come from?" I am confused, I don't know what he is talking about. I ask him what he means. He states that one of the things that has always struck him about me is the strong sense of conviction I possess. He tells me it is rare, that not many people have this characteristic. I search my heart and mind. I tell him how I always had the desire to pursue the Lord, how a friend and I would walk to church when we were little boys. I share the story of being a boy, I think I was 11 or 12-years old, and getting caught in a lie. I explain how I didn't like how that felt in my heart, in my Spirit. How since that time, above all else, my desire is to listen to my Spirit. You see, I have found that while I can tolerate people thinking I am crazy, not agreeing with me, I can't tolerate not having peace in my Spirit. As I have grown and learned I now realize that it wasn't me so much pursuing the Lord as a boy but the Lord pursuing me. That the reason my spirit felt restless when I lied was because this was the Lord speaking to me, leading me, guiding me and ultimately, providing protection for me. I have found that when I listen to my Spirit there is great safety, great peace in spite of the storms that may swirl around me. From that time as a boy to this day as a man, the Lord has dealt with me through my Spirit about many things; from the way I talk (lying, gossip, swearing) to the way I act (love one another, serve others) to the way I work (do all things as working for the Lord, not man) to how I behave socially (drinking, looking at women, controlling anger), etc. Each time, emblazened in my heart, mind was the moment I had violated my Spirit, when everything within me told me this was wrong, that I had to change, that this was not the way I am supposed to live my life. Then, and only then, when I acted upon the conviction of my Spirit, did I find peace.

There are a couple of thoughts I want to share with you as I encourage you to follow the convictions of your Spirit:
1. Following the convictions of your Spirit will sometimes require you to walk a lonely road (physically) . I can assure you however that the peace you will feel within your Spirit is "a peace that goes beyond understanding." You see Friends, we live in a lost, broken world. We are all trying to figure it out, everyone is searching for joy, peace, happiness. Some look to a bottle, some look to drugs, some look to a person - the list goes on and on - and often times they will ridicule you, make fun of you, etc. if you do not pursue what they pursue. Again, I can only testify to what I know. I have never regretted listening to my Spirit and there are many regrets, long ago placed before the Lord and forgiven, when I didn't.
2. Closely tied to my first point, please don't judge, hold to your Spirits leading, others. This is neither biblical nor right. We are all on a long road, a journey of life. Some do not believe in God and those who do are in different stages of their growth with God. I remember a time when I could speak entire paragraphs almost exclusively with the "F" word...and it made sense! I also remember explicitly clear the day the Lord convicted my Spirit about it. While I can politely, respectfully, non-judgementally ask others to be respectful of others, I have no right to stand in judgement of another. This, the judgement of others, trying to hold them to our standards, has given Jesus a bad name to many and turned millions away from the "church." When I read my bible I find that Jesus met people where they were at, He stood strong in His convictions however He loved them unconditionally. This Friends, I believe, is our model.

Wow, sorry this got so long. My final thought, question, challenge is this: who will we pay rent to today? Will we be led by the beliefs, the convictions of our Spirits or will will be led by the beliefs, the convictions of the world? Each of us will make a choice, each of us will be left to deal with the consequences of those choices.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families.

Have a great day, an awesome weekend and please cherish your precious families and friends!

Kev