A Man - Part II

Happy Friday (on a Saturday!) Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you had a wonderful week. I am so sorry that I did not get this done yesterday. I have had a hectic work schedule the last couple of days and I did not get a chance to sit down and type this up yesterday.

I am sitting at a Business Center in a Marriott in Portland as I type this Happy Friday. I had to drive to Seattle yesterday for meetings...the beauty as I drove along I-5 was simply spectacular. The trees, the green, the lakes, the rivers...truly incredible. I can't wait to bring my Beautiful Bride and boys here!

Before I give you the last 4 attributes of a man from "The Resolution for Men" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Randy Alcorn, I wanted to share a quick story and I thought with you and let them speak to your heart however they will.

• On Wednesday I went to lunch with a legendary coach and a couple of other people. During the lunch one of the people asked Coach - a man who has coached at the highest levels, who has been inducted into his sports Hall of Fame - of all the games he coached, which one was most memorable to him. Coach thought for a moment. He then described a game in which his son who played for him played very well. His eyes were kind of misty as he described how his son had performed and told different details about the game. Sensing his love for his son, the joy he felt in his heart as he recalled his sons successes, I asked Coach if it was about the specific game or about how his son performed. Without hesitation he stated it was about his son and how he performed. Go figure...all the accolades, all the successes and the most important game in this legendary coaches life was a game that his son performed well in...it was only important because his son played well! There is a message in that for all of us!
• As I was driving back from Seattle yesterday I had a lot of time to listen to the radio...there was a wreck and a trip that took 2 1/2 hours on the way took 4 1/2 on the way back!! Did I mention yet how beautiful it is driving between Portland & Seattle?!?! :) I came across a station that was playing a sermon  - I am sorry, I did not catch the preachers name - about contentment. The Preacher made the following statement: "You need to be content with what you have however never be content with who you are." Wow! Think about it Friends, please think about it.

O.K., without further ado, here are the final four attributes indicated in Scripture that define what true manhood is and should be taken from "The Resolution for Men."

4. A Man Functions Independently

• "Even if a man never marries, God created him to be able to leave home and stand on his own two feet. He should be capable enough to work, function, and live without dependence on anyone else financially, spiritually or physically."
• "The older and more mature a young man gets, the more he will have to pull away from his mother, cut the umbilical cord, and make decisions for himself (Luke 2:48-50; John 2:1-8; Matthew 12:46-50)"
• "You will never become a responsible man if you allow your parents to control or dominate you during adulthood."
• "Anticipate and initiate."
• "Responsible men are like Christ, who did not let his mother, disciples, or others determine His thoughts, attitudes, or actions."
• "That's why He was able to be more like a thermostat, affecting His circumstances, rather than like a thermometer, merely reacting to His surroundings."

5. A Man Can Lead a Family Faithfully

• "Having the responsibility necessary to start and faithfully lead a family is a clear attribute of manhood."
• "Manhood does not mean you should marry, buy you should be able to."
• "If you are raising a son, you should be teaching him - by your words and actions - the roles and responsibilities of a husband and father. Show him how to love and provide for a woman, as well as how to train and lead his children."

6. A Man Recognizes His Accountability

• "All of life's privileges, blessings, and freedoms that come with responsibility also come with a counterweight called accountability."
• "Having no accountability always leads to irresponsibility."
• "Jesus explained that we will each stand before God one day and be held accountable for how we lived. Our action not only have immediate consequences but eternal ones as well."
• "For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God" (Romans 14:10) where He will "judge men's secrets" (Romans 2:16) and "bring to light the things hidden in the darkness," disclosing the motives of our hearts (I Corinthians 4:5), judging the words of our mouths (Matthew12:36), and testing the deeds we have done (Romans 2:5-8)"
• "Everything in a man's thinking changes when he realizes that he is only one heartbeat away from having to stand before God and give an account for his life."
• "If you already have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and are confident that you will spend eternity with Him, remember that you are still accountable as a man for making the most of the rest of your life. We still must take full responsibility for ourselves, our wives and our children. We must seek and discover God's will. We are responsible for obeying the commands of Christ."
• "We should surround ourselves with godly men who will help us prepare to be found faithful. Men who have permission to ask us the tough questions, keep tabs on our spiritual condition, and speak the truth into our lives, even when we don't want to hear it."
• "God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil."
• Accountability dynamically helps make us into men - humble, wise, responsible, faithful men."

7. A Man Is an Image Bearer of God

• "For although men and women are clearly equal before God (Galatians 3:28) - neither of them more valuable to Him than the other - the Scriptures do indicate a difference in the unique way a man bears God's image and brings Him glory that is a part of his manhood. A man "is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man" (I Corinthians 11:7)"
• According to Genesis 2:23, the word "woman" means "taken out of man." Because of the way Eve was formed from a part of Adam to become a complementary helpmate for him, God has given wives an amazing ability to recognize, reveal, and reflect the character of their husbands. As a wife reflects God's glory and image herself, she does so as one under her husbands authority. He in turn is not to bring glory to himself - as if he mattered more or had a greater intrinsic worth than she does - but to use all his power, authority, and ability to revel and reflect all glory back to God through his life."
• "In all our choices, words, and behaviors, we need to represent Him well."

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish those precious families and friends.

Kev

A Man - Part 1

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day! I am sorry that this is getting to you so late however I had important matters to tend to - a hike through the mountains with my 7 &12-year olds, the traditional "Guys Lunch" of barbecue after the hike, widdling of sticks and the latest and greatest, grasshopper hunting with pellet guns! I am so exhausted, it is amazing I have the strength to type this now!!! (Don't you feel sorry for me?!?!)

Before diving into a couple of things that I want to share with you, I have to share something that is on my heart. Vacation...So often I talk to folks at work who proudly proclaim, "you can reach me any time, even when I am on vacation I will answer my cell phone/check my email/etc." Or, there are those who proudly proclaim, "I haven't taken a vacation in (fill in the blank) years" or "I only took (fill in the blank) days of vacation in the last (fill in the blank) years." These things are said, they are worn, almost as a badge of honor. I used to be one of those "false honor badge" wearers. If I worked hard enough, if I did a little bit more, if I just got this or that project done, if, if, if!!! At what cost do we proudly wear these "badges of honor?" Is it, whatever "it" is if we even know, worth it? When does it end? Will it ever end? Knowing that there are trade-offs and consequences to every decision, is it worth it? Who is paying the cost...someone or something is? Is it your spouse/companion? Your kids? Maybe it's your health. I don't know; I simply know there is a price to be paid.

Friends, if you are one of these "false honor badge" wearers as I was, I would like to encourage you - as strongly as I possibly can - to make time - you have to make it, it won't just show up! - to take a break, to totally disconnect. YOU need it. Oh, I know a whole lot of folks will argue this point, I used to be one of them. Bottom line is Friend, with all due love and respect, unless you take the time to recharge your spiritual, mental & physical batteries you are not near as good to anyone as you can be, as those who are counting on you need you to be, and, as time goes on, it is only going to get worse. You need the break for you, your family needs YOU and you will be much better to your employer and to everyone to whom your accountable if you will make the time to disconnect, relax and spend quality time with your family. Consider yourself warned by a guy who for way too long traveled down that path Friend. The choice, and ALL the consequences from that choice, are yours.

So last week I gave you a little snip-it from "The Resolution for Men" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Randy Alcorn. I cannot put into words how much I love this book and how desperately I pray that every man out there will read it and apply what they learn to their lives. It is so rich, my Spirit is just doing jumping jacks and cart-wheels as I read each sentence. Today I want to share several more excerpts directly from the book and let them speak to your heart, to your Spirit as they will. Because of the length of the attributes - and the fact that they can be overwhelming! - I am going to break this up into two parts. Today I will give you the first 3 attributes. Next Friday I will give you the remaining 4.

The Words of a Father to a Son (Am I speaking these? Am I modeling these to my sons? Heart be still!!!)
"Keep your promises no matter how hard, son. And be faithful with the little things, especially when no one is watching."
"Treat everyone you meet with kindness, respect and compassion."
"Know what you believe, why you believe it, and be ready to defend it."
"Do your work with all your heart and with excellence as unto the Lord, not men."
"Be willing to stand alone for what's right regardless of what your friends do or say."

Seven Attributes Indicated in Scripture That Define What True Manhood is and Should Be
1. A Man Accepts His Masculinity

• "Masculinity is generally understood as having the characteristics of maleness. But the key ingredient is actually strength."
• "Like Jesus, every man also needs to be developing moral, mental, social and spiritual strength. That's because all of our key roles in life will require greater strength in order to carry them out."
• "If men do not develop a sense of their own fortitude, they will never attempt hard things, lead their families, fight for their country or confront evil."
• "If you are going to obey Him and be faithful to Him until the end, you must act like a man, embrace your masculinity, and bear His command to "Be Strong!" (Joshua 1: 9)"
• "Then as a man, when times get rough, you must not quit. When everything seems against you, you cannot run away. When you fall or fail - as all of us do - you must own your mistakes, get back on your feet, and not shirk from your responsibilities."

2. A Man Speaks and Acts with Maturity

• "A vital transition must take place as a boy becomes a man. He must intentionally choose to let go of childishness and foolishness."
• "Clinging to childhood while growing into manhood is like trying to run in opposite directions at the same time."
• "Too many men want the freedoms, rewards and privileges of manhood but only the responsibilities of boyhood."
• "If we want to be men, we must resolve that "we will no longer be immature like children. We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching...Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ" (Ephesians 4:14-15 NLT)"

3. A Man Embraces Responsibility

• "Men are happiest and at their best when they are responsible - and at their worst when they are not."
• "The main concept of responsibility is that you are being entrusted and empowered by a higher authority to care for something, or someone. And along with this empowerment comes the blessing of doing it well or the consequences of doing it poorly."
• "We each must get busy cultivating and protecting everything within our jurisdiction. Sin makes men tend to resist responsibility, but embracing it is part of our manhood."
• "When a young man is passive and irresponsible, he greatly limits his freedoms, opportunities, and successes. Whereas responsibility builds up a man and everything around him, the lack of it only weakens and destroys. Irresponsible men are dangerous to whatever they touch."
• "Responsibility calls us to action and tests us. It reveals our character, our caliber, and our commitment. It is both a gift and an honor. And the more maturity a man has, the more responsibility God can trust him with."
• "Embrace responsibility! Love it. Live it. Teach it to your children."

A 7-year old grasshopper hunter has come in no less than five times while I have been typing this asking me if I am done yet...time to go hunt some grasshoppers, ride the 4-wheeler, pitch some horse shoes...

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish your precious families and friends.

Kev

When Will We Learn?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you!

For me this is day 5 of vacation. How come I am more exhausted on day 5 of vacation than I would be if this is were day 5 of the work week?!?! Golf, baseball games, ping-pong, swimming, talks...there is a lot to do! It is incredible...7, 12 & 16-year olds are better than the Energizer Bunny!!! Their batteries never run out!!! What a blessing...

I have a couple of thoughts for you this morning and one excerpt from a book that I want to share with you. First though, the thoughts.

Before diving specifically into the thoughts I want to ask this rhetorical question; "When will we learn?" I don't mean "learn" as "understand" or "comprehend." I mean learn as "change", "live out" what we understand and comprehend. Their is a significant difference between the two Friends and I am pretty sure that here in lies the key to us growing to become all that we are called and created to become, to fulfilling our purposes. I sincerely hope and pray that we - inclusive term! - will become people of change, that we will walk out what we learn, not just hear and understand.

Thought #1
On Wednesday night my family and I were watching the ESPY Awards on ESPN. Eric LeGrand was receiving the Jimmy V Perseverance Award. Eric was a football player at Rutgers who became paralyzed after being injured while making a tackle during a football game in 2010. During his acceptance speech - Eric is obviously a very gift speaker, a very intelligent young man - Eric repeatedly stated, "Do your best." Over and over again he talked about how important it is to "do your best", how things can be taken away in an instant. Here sat a man of incredible strength and courage, in a room full of the most gifted athletes in the world, having faced struggles, adversity & challenge greater than many of us can ever know and comprehend, and he is sharing the wisdom he has gleaned from this season of his life - "do your best." But will we catch it, will we learn? Will we truly strive to do our best or will we continually chase society's definitions & standards of success?

Coach John Wooden, arguably the greatest coach of all time, defined success as, "peace of mind which is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming." Isn't he really saying, "do your best?" AND, in great wisdom, Coach is telling us that the reward for doing your best, for becoming the best that you are capable of becoming, is peace of mind. He doesn't equate peace of mind with society's definitions or standards of success. He clearly states that the peace of mind you will experience when you do your best is "the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming."  The peace of mind is not dependent upon someone else's opinion, an established standard or tied to a ranking. It is tied to you and I being able to look at ourselves and honestly, pure-heartedly being able to say, "I did my best." Will we listen? Will we change? Will we truly strive for this, the highest standard - our best? For those fixated on societies definitions and standards of success, who think this is soft, who want to talk about scoreboards, annual reports and accountability; you might want to consider that Coach Wooden's teams won 10 National Championships while focusing on becoming the best they were capable of becoming, not by focusing on winning National Championships. Think about it...

So the question for you and I to resolve in our hearts today is where will we fall? Will we strive for the highest standard of striving to become the best that we are capable of becoming - in all aspects of our lives - or will we strive to fulfill societies standards & definitions of success? What we resolve - truly resolve - in our hearts will be lived out in our actions. Will we learn? So many great men and women have told us the same thing over and over again. Will we hear it today? Will we accept it today?

Thought #2
Just this morning I was speaking with a sweet friend on the phone. We were talking about the recent move the Haslam family had made, how everyone was adjusting, etc. When talking about my 7 & 12-year old Tender Warriors she stated, "kids make friends with everyone." The weight and reality of the statement hit us both. How come? How come little kids see the value in everyone? Little kids accept everyone? Little kids love everyone...unconditionally? And us, the "responsible, mature adults", with all of our knowledge and wisdom, stereotype, judge, devalue, etc. others. How? Why? 

When will we learn? When will we express our understanding by walking out in our actions that every life has value, meaning and purpose? When will we stop judging others by the standards that we have established for them and accept them, unconditionally? How much are we missing, how much more richly would our lives be blessed, if we would look for the value, the beauty - I am not talking physical here! - and the potential within each person instead of trying, fruitlessly, to raise ourselves above them? 

I also wanted to share a quick excerpt from the book, "The Resolution for Men" by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Randy Alcorn.

"Throughout history, men who lived incredible lives and left great legacies did it intentionally. They knew that men do not stumble upon integrity or accidentally find themselves being faithful to God. Passivity merely leads to futility. A man cannot be passive about what Scripture tells him to do for his family and expect to be found faithful to God in the end. He must see with spiritual eyes and realize that future generations are directly impacted by his daily decisions."

 Wow! Are we listening men? Will we learn? Please allow this to speak to your spirit. Do we understand, comprehend and most importantly, will we walk out in our actions? Please let the ending pierce your spirit...future generations are directly impacted by your daily decisions.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I am always willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish your precious families...I am going to take a nap now!

Kev

Lessons from The Lorax

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you. What a...weird, strange, odd - not sure of the right word - week. Two days of work, one day off to celebrate our country's independence and then back to work...for some.

Last weekend the Haslam family did a little stay-cation. We had a blast. I am telling you Friends, you are not living until you are flying around a track on a go-cart at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night. Knees stuck in your chest, little rubber particles - which by the way you will dig out of your eyes for the next 2 days - flying into your eyes and vicious - I am telling you, absolutely vicious - Mom's and little kids trying to wreck you. Sure, you laugh! The Mom's look all nice and sweet. The little kids - with those gapped toothed grins - look all innocent. Just try to pass one of them! I am telling you, they are not nice, sweet or innocent! Vicious, just vicious!

So on Saturday night, after a day at the water park, we decided to watch a movie together. Of course our 7-year old wanted to watch a "kid movie" while the rest of us wanted to watch "something else." After much debate, Mom & Dad each trying to throw the other into the decision making role, we settled on "something else." It was a great movie...a movie based on true events about 3 whales that got trapped in the waters off Alaska and ultimately, the rescue of 2 of the whales. After breakfast on Sunday morning we returned to our hotel room and something told me to have the family watch the "kid movie." Our 7-year old Tender Warrior had been kind, gracious and understanding when we watched "something else" so I figured the least we could do is join him and watch the movie he wanted to watch. We all snuggled in and turned on the Lorax.

This always happens to me. I think I am going to watch some thoughtless, cartoon movie - snuggled up with my family...what a great place to be! - and all the sudden my Spirit starts doing jumping jacks as I realize there is a powerful message, or two, here. It is these, the lessons from the Lorax, that I want to share with you on this beautiful Friday morning. I do have to tell you, in doing a little research to make sure I got the quotes right, I had no idea the amount of controversy this movie caused. Ho-ly Smokes! A school district in California banned the book, people say it is a strong message about how we have to take care of the environment, some say the message is too strong, others think it unfairly portrays the logging industry, there is the gentleman who talks about all of the dishonesty in the movie...it goes on and on! I had no idea. The message(s) I got from the movie were completely different.

• The Once-ler has a dream that he wants to pursue, to create a product. His family mocks him as he drives off in pursuit of his dream...good start. To make his product he needs to cut down and use a part of the tree. After he cuts down a tree, disrupting the perfect lives of all of the animals - I think I have heard a story before about a perfect garden and one act disrupting everything! - the Lorax appears. The Once-ler promises that he won't cut down any more trees. Then his product sells. Soon, hearing of his successes, his family - the one's who mocked him - come to move in and share in his successes. Fast forward to the cutting down of the very last tree. He has not kept his promise, he has violated his own Spirit - there is a moment where he wrestles with the decision of what to do - and then, everyone leaves him. His family mocking his failure - he can no longer produce his product because there are no more trees - and his animal friends because it is no longer safe or healthy for them to live with him. With all due respect to environmentalists and their views, do you know or have you ever known anyone like this? Begin the pure-hearted pursuit of a dream, become misguided in the pursuit of the dream, become dishonest and violate their own Spirit, listening to the people - sadly portrayed in this movie by his family - who don't have their best interests in mind and turning their backs on the one's who truly do care about them. Time and time again this story plays out - in Dr. Seuss movies and more poignantly, in real life. But how, why? I think the Lorax answered this question.
• There is this exchange between the Lorax and the Once-ler:

"The Lorax: Which way does a tree fall?

The Once-ler: I don’t know…Down?

The Lorax, solemnly: A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean."

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have thought about this exchange over this past week. The tree falls the way it leans...Which way is my tree leaning? Which way is your tree leaning Friend? Are we leaning towards God, our spouses, our kids, our responsibilities? Or are we leaning towards the world, jobs, alcohol, drugs? To be sure, the storms of life are coming and it is at these times that we will fall the direction we lean. Not "if" the storms come Friends, "when."

• Ted, the little boy in the movie - "Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." G.M. Trevelyn - is given the very last seed by the Once-ler. All hope relies on this boy. If he can step up, pursue the burden of his heart, plant and nurture this seed, there can again be trees. If he fails, all hope is lost. There is this exchange between the Once-ler and Ted:

"You need to plant it, Ted," the Once-ler continued. "What," he found himself asking again, "Me?" "That seed is more than just a seed, just like you're more than just a boy. It's not what is. It's about what it can become," he added wisely. Ted took a moment to let this all sink in. Was it really up to him? "You need to change the way things are," the Once-ler added again. "But what if I can't," Ted worried, "I'm just a kid! There's no way I can stand up against O'Hare and plant the seed." From between the boards it appeared the Once-ler was shaking his head. "You got to least try, Ted," the Once-ler tried to reason with him. "But what if I can't?" Ted shot back. "Unless someone like you cares an awful lot. Nothings going to get better," the Once-ler said. Then he pulled his arms back through the boards and quietly adding more to himself, "It's not."

How is your Spirit right now Friends? Is God knocking on your heart? Have you been given a seed to plant? Is there something that burdens your heart greatly but your afraid that you are "just a kid?" That you will fail? As the Once-ler - you know, the one who has gained great wisdom through his failures...sounds like life, huh? - said, " Unless someone like YOU cares an awful lot. Nothings going to get better. It's not." I added the emphasis on you. It's your seed, it's your choice.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your families.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please be aware of which way you are leaning and cherish your precious families.

Kev