Four Short, Simple Words

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had a great week!

“I believe in you.” Four short, simple and yet incredibly powerful, potentially life altering, words. Think about it; when is the last time that you pure heartedly spoke these words into the life of another? More importantly, when is the last time that you spoke these words into your own life – not in a spirit of conceit or arrogance but rather in acknowledgement that your life has value, meaning & purpose. The incredible power of four short, simple words.

Earlier this week I was talking with a dear friend about these four short, simple words. I was telling her a story about my 16-year olds football game a couple of weeks ago. His team is small in terms of total number, full of great young men rapidly gaining valuable experience as many of them fight through the rigors of their first season of Varsity football. Predictably there are times when you can see doubt cross their minds in the way their bodies move. Can I beat this guy? Can I make this play? Will I ever break through? Have you ever been there Friend, when doubt crosses your mind? Have you ever wondered if you were good enough? Have you ever wondered if you could finish the job? Did you ever wonder when the climb would end and, if only for a brief moment to catch your breath, you could ride along the plateau or stand on the mountain top? I am pretty sure, if we are perfectly honest and don’t feel the need to put on a mask, we can relate.

As my sons team came out to start the 2^nd half I had this strong…I don’t know what to call it, urge, desire, to stand up and shout, “I believe that we will win.” I quickly looked at my Beautiful Bride and told her that I was going to embarrass her. I then told a couple of other parents right behind me what I was going to do and respectfully asked them to yell the same thing back when I yelled it. Now, in full disclosure, this is a chant that you will hear sometimes at high school football, led by the students. I have never heard the parents lead it, let alone have one parent stand up, unsure of what everyone else would do and shout it, simply wanting these young men to know that I believed in them even if I had to humiliate myself to prove it. So when the team got to the sideline I stood up and yelled, “I believe that we will win!” A few parents yelled back the same. We did this over and over again throughout the 2^nd half – whether we scored a touchdown or gave up a touchdown.  While the words we were yelling were, “I believe that we will win,” what we were really saying is, “we believe in you.” The moment we yelled it for the first time several players down on the field looked up into the stands, a look of excitement, relief, thankfulness and yes, belief all crossing their faces at the same time. Ultimately we lost the game, the other team kicked a field goal with 10 seconds left, however the players left the field that night believing in themselves and knowing that their parents believed in them. Please don’t rush over the last part…knowing that their parents believed in them. I wonder, as many parents talk about the difficulties of the teenage years, how four short, simple words might renew and restore a relationship and put a life on a completely different trajectory.

I think these words, “I believe in you”, are four short, simple words. I am amazed however at the reactions to them and how infrequently, sadly infrequently, they are spoken. The only other time I have ever done anything like I did on that Friday night was when my 12-year old was 8-years old, playing All-Star baseball with kids two years older than him. He was struggling to get a hit. We were at a critical point, in a critical game in the All-Star tournament. He came up to bat, there was a lot of yelling and commotion. He got 2 strikes on him. Suddenly that urge, that desire…I wanted my son to know that no matter the moment, no matter the outcome that I believe in him and nothing is going to change that fact. So, I yelled, “I believe in you son.” You would have thought I yelled an obscenity, a threat or something. The whole place went completely quite. People turned and looked at me, their mouths agape. My little 8-year old slugger looked at me also, a very slight smile crossing his face – remember, he was now a big bad ballplayer. I don’t really know the outcome of that at bat; I just asked the now 12-year old slugger and my Beautiful Bride and I got two different responses. He said he got a hit, she said he didn’t. Here’s the thing; while neither of them know the outcome they both recalled clearly the moment I was talking about. Is it possible that the outcome really wasn’t that important? Is it possible that what really mattered was a boy heard four simple, life giving words spoken into the depths of his tender little heart at what was a very big moment in his life at that point from his Dad? I think the answer is pretty clear.

As my friend and I talked about those four short, simple words we – o.k., me more than her – got all fired up about the power of those words. We talked about what it would be like when you are having a tough day at work to have your boss poke his or her head in the door and say, “I believe in you.” How what our kids need to hear, only surpassed by “I love you unconditionally” – heavy, heavy emphasis on unconditionally – is “I believe in you.” My heart can’t help but wonder what would happen if we pure heartedly spoke these words into the life of our spouses. I know that when my Beautiful Bride has said to me, “I believe in you” I feel like there is truly nothing that I could not accomplish. The power, the life-altering power, or four short, simple words.

Please take a few moments Friends and think about the people you are blessed to have in your life. Is there someone that needs to hear these words from you? Please be authentic and at the same time keep it real. If your Spirit is convicting you, and it will, please follow it’s leading. Please don’t say it just to say it as this will do greater harm for this would be outward deception. AND, from this point forward, I would like to challenge us all to be more mindful of the power of these words. To speak them more freely – to ourselves and others – on a regular basis. These words do give life Friends…four short, simple words. “I believe in you.”

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families and friends.

Kev

What's Your Story?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you!

Earlier this week I was walking from one building to another at work and the thought, the idea - could it have been the Holy Spirit? - came to me; "Everybody has a story." It was kind of weird. There were a few people walking by me, nothing significant...right now I can't even remember their gender let alone what they look like. What did stick with me though is "everybody has a story." As I flew to Salt Lake City this week for work, walked through two international airports, stayed at a hotel, visited a new city, came back home, went to my sons baseball game...over and over again I would think "everybody has a story."

I really don't have some earth-shattering thought, idea, etc. (do I ever?!?!). I just stand amazed at the lives around me; I stand in awe of the incredible purposes; I look into the eyes of someone whose light appears to be flickering; I look into the eyes of a precious little boy, wobbly as he is taking his first steps, innocent, full of hope, love, wonder, love, excitement, love; I look at people who don't have the same physical abilities as me - some better, some worse; the same can be said for mental abilities - many more better, perhaps a few worse. :) Everybody has a story.

As we go through life we experience different seasons, if we think of all of this as one big story, we move from chapter (season) to chapter (season). Yes, I overanalyze things...a blessing or a curse depending on your perspective! Just as one chapter does not make an entire book, neither do our current or preceeding chapters make our story. The chapters that are yet to be written will be influenced, to some degree, by the choices that we make today, and then again tomorrow and the next day and the next day and... Please note the "to some degree." I realize, recognize and appreciate that bad things happen to good people, things happen that seem, no are, so mean, so cruel. I don't want to make light of these at all - please hear my heart! - however these are circumstances, circumstances in a flawed and broken world. We do have a choice how we will react to those circumstances. These too, like the mean or cruel act, ability or disability - we should say degree of as we are all abled and disabled, just in different areas - will be a part of our story.

In our lives we have all experienced success and we have all experienced failure. We have all experienced joy and we have all experienced heartache. Each of these moments, chapters, are a part of our story however they are not the whole story. Just as a moment, a chapter, of defeat does not make us a failure in life, a moment, a chapter of success, does not make us a success for life either. These things are carved, crafted & created each and every day to be determined finally, as we breathe our last breath.

So I guess in all of this what I really want to say to you this week is two things:
1. Your life is a great, big wonderful story. Please live it fully, pursuing that burning purpose that I know lies deep within the depths of your heart, not allowing victory, defeat, ability, disability, circumstances, etc. to define you, to tell your story. Live each day to the fullest, embrace it, pursue it...this world is a better place Friend because of your story.

2. May we all recognize that every life has a story, every life. May we all look upon those who we deem to be in victory & defeat, in ability & disability, in moments of prosperity & in moments of dispair with great love, mercy, compassion & grace for we too, as we live our story, will inevitably walk through these same chapters.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I would truly consider it an honor, a privilege to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families.

Kev

What Are You Communicating?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you!

Earlier this week I came across something in Ed Hindson’s book, “Trusting God When Times Are Tough” – have ya’ll figured out I love this book yet?!?! Here is what it said:

            “We are all in the process of communicating something. We may be

            communicating warmth, love, and acceptance, or anger, bitterness, and hostility

-  all of which originate from our inner feelings. What we need to ask ourselves is

whether we are helping or hurting others by what we are communicating.”

Please note that whatever we are communicating – whether it is good or bad, helping or hurting – originates from our inner feelings. It is really easy to say the right things, to give the right answers, to act a certain way at times, etc. however what we really believe, what we really feel at the heart level will ultimately be revealed in what we communicate – verbally and/or non-verbally. It is impossible Friends to consistently violate our spirits and our communications will ultimately reveal our true selves.

·        My 7-year old Preacher was watching a movie on his little DVD player this week. I interrupted him, asked him to turn it off and come be with Dad. Without even a second of hesitation he turned it off, came over, sat down beside me, said “I love you Daddy. What do you want to do?” If only I was half the communicator as this Precious Blessing!!! AND I am not talking about the words he spoke. While my heart is genuinely touched when I hear this 7-year old voice say, “I love you Daddy”, it was what he communicated through his actions that overwhelmed me. He communicated love, respect, a desire to be with me…all by simply turning of a DVD player immediately when he knew I wanted to spend time with him. I was his priority. Period. He communicated this loud and clear. How many times have I had to “respond to a text real quick” or told him that I would come see something that he was excited to show me “after this play.” What did those actions on my part communicate to him? Oh heart be still! Lord please forgive me! Precious Baby Boy please forgive me! Lord PLEASE lead this Beautiful Woman and these three incredible boys through me!

·        Yesterday I was walking out the door to go to work and my cell phone rang. It was my 16-year old son, calling at a time he wasn’t supposed to be calling me. I answered and he said, “Dad, can you come here.” This is not good when he left less than 5 minutes prior to drive himself to school. He then said, “I have been in a car accident.” I calmly replied – thank you Lord for answering my prayer of leading this family through me!!! – “Are you hurt?” He said, “No.” I said, “Is the other driver hurt?” He said, “No.” “Praise the Lord” I silently prayed and then responded, “I will be right there.” I pulled up and saw my 16-year old son, suddenly looking much younger than the man he is becoming, sitting in his car and a 20-something year old, who was noticeably shaken, sitting in his car as well. In this moment I was very aware that my every word, look and action was going to communicate something to both of them. Funny how God always prepares our hearts isn’t it? My spirit was incredibly calm, I felt genuine compassion for both of them and my love – genuine, unconditional love – for my son was growing deeper by the moment. Interestingly I really didn’t say much at all. I asked both of them if they were o.k., I helped them both fill out their accident reports after the officer arrived and I answered “no, I am just thankful your o.k. son” to my son 15 to 20 times as he repeatedly asked, “are you mad at me?” My body language, my disposition, my look and my words all communicated to both of them that I genuinely care about you, I am genuinely thankful that you are o.k. and I will do anything I can to help either one of you in this moment. They all communicated this because that is truly what I felt. Thank you Lord for leading me through those moments.

So my question, my challenge, for all of us – starting right now in this moment – is what are we going to communicate? Know this Friends; we are communicating something…all the time. Is it warmth, love & acceptance or is it anger, bitterness & hostility? That is a choice Friends that you and I are going to make every single moment of every single day. It begins with the condition of our heart and is released through our words, our disposition and our actions.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for any of you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families & friends.

Kev

19 Things...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day & a very fulfilling week coming to a close for you!

This week I wanted to share 19 excerpts from 2 different books and let these quotes/thoughts/ideas speak to you however they may.

From “Trusting God When Times Are Tough” by Ed Hindson:

1.    “We are not yet what we shall be but we are growing toward it; the process is not yet finished but it is going on; this is not the end but it is the road.” – Martin Luther

2.    “God comforts us in our troubles, not necessarily from our troubles (2 Corinthians 1:4). In fact, suffering and troubles are His method of shaping our lives and our character.

3.    “Rarely do we learn the deep lessons of life when everything is going well.”

4.    “Wrong attitudes express our inner frustration with life and our bitterness toward God for allowing problems to come into our lives in the first place. They are symptoms of our refusal to believe that God is really in control of our lives. Ultimately, wrong attitudes push us away from God instead of drawing us to Him.”

5.    “The key to handling our problems is learning to trust what God tells us to do with them. Too many people want to make their own decisions and then ask God to “bless” what they have already decided. Instead, we need to figure out what God wants us to do and do it with the confidence that He will bless it. Our obedience to His commands places us in position to receive His blessings in our lives.”

6.    “Halfhearted commitments will not help you solve your problems. Either God can help you or He can’t. Either you trust Him or you don’t. It is that simple.”

7.    “Even when you don’t know what to say or you cannot speak, God is there with you.”

8.    “How we respond to our challenges tells people what we really believe. This is where our faith is put to the test – in the crucible of life itself.”

9.    “A crisis doesn’t have to defeat you. God can help you learn valuable lessons from it that will make you a better person in the long run. Don’t give up because you’re facing a tough time; the crisis you are in right now may be the most important opportunity and growth advantage you have ever experienced.”

10.  “Selfish and insecure people get angry and are easily offended. They often try to compensate for this by trying to make people think they are more important than anyone else.”

11.  “You can do anything that is right; God always empowers us to do what is right. His grace is always sufficient, no matter how difficult the task.”

12. “Whenever we become discouraged, defeated, or embittered by our circumstances, we are really questioning God’s sovereign control over those circumstances.”

13. “Fear is much more damaging than failure. If you’ve failed, admit it and start over. Forgive yourself and learn to forgive others. Don’t be controlled by what has happened to you, but rather be motivated by where you are trying to go. Focus on your goals, not on your failures. Move ahead with determination, for nothing worthwhile is accomplished without some risk. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1: 7 NKJV)”

14. “Accept yourself for what you are, and you will be able to accept God’s will for your life. All the worry and fretting in the world cannot change the color of a single hair. If you can trust God to save you, then you can trust His plan for your life.”

15. “Comparisons only produce one of the following: pride or self-rejection. With pride, we assume our “sphere of influence” is bigger than it really is. With self-rejection, we conclude our “sphere of influence” is worthless and insignificant. Both attitudes are displeasing to our Lord, who want us to work and bear fruit where He has put us, finding fulfillment in doing His will.”

From “Take The Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success” by Rory Vaden:

16. “You are responsible for your results. It is time to throw off that cloak of apathy, to let go of the desire to blame, and to begin being willing to commit to making a meaningful change in your behavior.”

17. “The truth is that success comes from being tested in the fire, being pushed to your limits, and having your character and confidence shaped by challenging circumstances. Successful people view problems and challenges as setbacks or hindrances, but they know that the more challenges they have, the higher the likelihood that they will develop the character required to become great.”

18. “The Rent Axiom – Success is never owned, it is only rented – and the rent is due every day.”

19. “If you’re not maximizing your potential where you are, then you can never know if you should leave because you haven’t experienced all that it has to offer.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be happy to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please, cherish your family and friends.

Kev

A Few Things...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day, the start of a wonderful weekend and that you had an awesome week! The college football season is here! This is the favorite time of the year in the Haslam household and we are planning a very busy day...of watching football!!!

Just wanted to share a few things with you this week.

First thing...I am reading a great book right now titled "Trusting God When Times Are Tough" by Ed Hindson. There is one quote that I have come across that has really spoken to my heart, continues to speak to my heart and I want to share it with you.

"No one learns the limits of his ability until he has reached the point of total failure."

Say what?!?! Failure? Nobody wants a part of that do they? We spend most - should I have said all? - of our time trying to avoid failure and cover up what we perceive to be our failures. At the same time we talk about becoming the best we are capable of becoming. Yet if - I pray when, not if - I strive to become the best I am capable of becoming, this means I am ultimately exposing myself to failure because as I fulfill more and more of my ability at some point I will learn the point at which I am disabled. Sadly so many of us never even attempt to achieve our full potential, to push ourselves to the brink of total failure and thus only become a 1/4 or 1/2 shells of the full us that we were created to become however we have insured that we will not experience "total failure." Each one of us will have to determine what we will pursue - be it our full ability and risk total failure or settle for becoming a 1/4 or 1/2 of what we were created to become and never realize the limits of our ability. Think about it, let it speak to your heart.

Second thing...

I love being a Dad. Every day I learn more and more of what God has called me to, what He expects of me, what my responsibilities are, Who will hold me accountable, what is at stake, how people I will never meet this side of heaven will be impacted by me fulfilling - or not - my responsibilities, etc. Two things that I immediately feel I must share with you as I type these words: 1) Because of what God has called me to do, because of what He expects, because of my responsibilities, because He will hold me accountable, because of the eternal stakes, because my leadership will leave a legacy - good or bad is to be determined every day! - I must pursue God every day, allow Him to lead my life, to lead my wife and my sons through me. If you want to get a description of this stated so much better than I ever could, please look up the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. 2) The calling, the responsibility, the accountability, the legacy...it inspires me. I do not feel burdened under the weight of it all - I disparately want to grow to become all that God has called and created me to become as a man, as a husband and as a father. It inspires me, it gives my life great meaning and purpose...just another way God blesses my life through my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors.

I had to share all that, to put things in perspective before I could return to my point; I love being a Dad. I love late night talks with my 16-year old son. We had a few of these this past week. He would say, " I need to go to bed now" and then ask me another question, say something silly, etc. I thank God for those times, for those moments when it is just my son and I, when we share stories, talk about life, talk about dreams. I love being a Dad.

I love taking my 12-year old to the bus stop every morning, playing cards with him at night, talking life, talking baseball...realizing how often he says "right Dad?" It is in those moments when I realize he is looking to me to lead him, to guide him, to protect him...he wants his Dad to affirm him, his thoughts, his goals, his dreams. It never ceases to amaze me how his disposition changes by me simply affirming him, his thoughts, his ideas, his goals, his dreams. My 12-year old, more than either of the other two boys, just wants to be close. If I say I am leaving and ask if he wants to go he says yes. Has no idea where we are going, how long we will be there, etc., he just knows he wants to be with his Dad. My heart, my spirit is truly moved as I type those words. I love being a Dad.

I love reading books, drawing dinosaurs, having nerf gun fights, etc. with my 7-year old son. He desperately wants to be a great Navy Seal, only surpassed by his desire to be a great Tender Warrior - to be the man (yes, even though the boys are only 7, 12 & 16-years old I talk to them about being men - what that means, the responsibility, the accountability, etc.), husband and Dad that God has called and created him to become. God has blessed me so richly in seeing the perfect picture of a "Tender" "Warrior" - two separate words - in this precious little boy. Every time he sees a flower he will stop and pick it for his Mom (have had to teach him that sometimes we just can't pick the flowers...the folks at Disneyland, at resorts, etc. would not like us a lot if we pulled all their flowers!). If one of his brothers says something not so nice to his Mom he transforms into this little 7-year old warrior - instantly willing to defend, to protect, to fight. I love being a Dad.

Third thing...

People have said to me, "Kev, I wish I were like you" or "you do all this so good" or something along those lines. People have told my Beautiful Bride and I how "perfect" our family is. The burden of my heart this morning is to say, "if you only knew." If you only knew how inadequate I feel as a man, as a husband and Dad and that my only adequacy comes from the Lord. If you only knew how I literally plead with God every single day to lead my life, my wife and my sons through me. If you only knew the number of times I wake up with my heart burdened for my wife, for my sons, for my goals & dreams and how I only find strength, joy, comfort and peace in surrendering all of it to Him. If you only knew the fights, the arguments, the hurt in our family every day...that there is only healing, forgiveness and reconciliation in giving it all to Him.

Let me be explicitly clear; I do not have all of the answers - I don't know that I have any answers! - and my precious family is unbelievably far from perfect. We are all on a great journey. We all have great strengths and we all have great weaknesses. We all have moments of great success and we all have moments of great failure. We all have hopes & dreams and we all have worries & fears. I believe (you don't have to agree with me...please respect my belief however and I promise to do the same with yours) there is One who has all the answers. I also believe (please see previous comment about beliefs) what His word says - that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made - perfectly equipped, lacking nothing - for the purpose He has for our lives. In this - in knowing that you and I are fearfully & wonderfully made, perfectly equipped, lacking nothing, for a purpose - I find my strength, joy, comfort and peace and I see, value, respect and cherish YOU.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I am always willing, and would be honored, to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, enjoy this Labor Day weekend and cherish those precious families.

Kev