I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day, the start of a wonderful weekend and that you had an awesome week! The college football season is here! This is the favorite time of the year in the Haslam household and we are planning a very busy day...of watching football!!!
Just wanted to share a few things with you this week.
First thing...I am reading a great book right now titled "Trusting God When Times Are Tough" by Ed Hindson. There is one quote that I have come across that has really spoken to my heart, continues to speak to my heart and I want to share it with you.
"No one learns the limits of his ability until he has reached the point of total failure."
Say what?!?! Failure? Nobody wants a part of that do they? We spend most - should I have said all? - of our time trying to avoid failure and cover up what we perceive to be our failures. At the same time we talk about becoming the best we are capable of becoming. Yet if - I pray when, not if - I strive to become the best I am capable of becoming, this means I am ultimately exposing myself to failure because as I fulfill more and more of my ability at some point I will learn the point at which I am disabled. Sadly so many of us never even attempt to achieve our full potential, to push ourselves to the brink of total failure and thus only become a 1/4 or 1/2 shells of the full us that we were created to become however we have insured that we will not experience "total failure." Each one of us will have to determine what we will pursue - be it our full ability and risk total failure or settle for becoming a 1/4 or 1/2 of what we were created to become and never realize the limits of our ability. Think about it, let it speak to your heart.
Second thing...
I love being a Dad. Every day I learn more and more of what God has called me to, what He expects of me, what my responsibilities are, Who will hold me accountable, what is at stake, how people I will never meet this side of heaven will be impacted by me fulfilling - or not - my responsibilities, etc. Two things that I immediately feel I must share with you as I type these words: 1) Because of what God has called me to do, because of what He expects, because of my responsibilities, because He will hold me accountable, because of the eternal stakes, because my leadership will leave a legacy - good or bad is to be determined every day! - I must pursue God every day, allow Him to lead my life, to lead my wife and my sons through me. If you want to get a description of this stated so much better than I ever could, please look up the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. 2) The calling, the responsibility, the accountability, the legacy...it inspires me. I do not feel burdened under the weight of it all - I disparately want to grow to become all that God has called and created me to become as a man, as a husband and as a father. It inspires me, it gives my life great meaning and purpose...just another way God blesses my life through my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warriors.
I had to share all that, to put things in perspective before I could return to my point; I love being a Dad. I love late night talks with my 16-year old son. We had a few of these this past week. He would say, " I need to go to bed now" and then ask me another question, say something silly, etc. I thank God for those times, for those moments when it is just my son and I, when we share stories, talk about life, talk about dreams. I love being a Dad.
I love taking my 12-year old to the bus stop every morning, playing cards with him at night, talking life, talking baseball...realizing how often he says "right Dad?" It is in those moments when I realize he is looking to me to lead him, to guide him, to protect him...he wants his Dad to affirm him, his thoughts, his goals, his dreams. It never ceases to amaze me how his disposition changes by me simply affirming him, his thoughts, his ideas, his goals, his dreams. My 12-year old, more than either of the other two boys, just wants to be close. If I say I am leaving and ask if he wants to go he says yes. Has no idea where we are going, how long we will be there, etc., he just knows he wants to be with his Dad. My heart, my spirit is truly moved as I type those words. I love being a Dad.
I love reading books, drawing dinosaurs, having nerf gun fights, etc. with my 7-year old son. He desperately wants to be a great Navy Seal, only surpassed by his desire to be a great Tender Warrior - to be the man (yes, even though the boys are only 7, 12 & 16-years old I talk to them about being men - what that means, the responsibility, the accountability, etc.), husband and Dad that God has called and created him to become. God has blessed me so richly in seeing the perfect picture of a "Tender" "Warrior" - two separate words - in this precious little boy. Every time he sees a flower he will stop and pick it for his Mom (have had to teach him that sometimes we just can't pick the flowers...the folks at Disneyland, at resorts, etc. would not like us a lot if we pulled all their flowers!). If one of his brothers says something not so nice to his Mom he transforms into this little 7-year old warrior - instantly willing to defend, to protect, to fight. I love being a Dad.
Third thing...
People have said to me, "Kev, I wish I were like you" or "you do all this so good" or something along those lines. People have told my Beautiful Bride and I how "perfect" our family is. The burden of my heart this morning is to say, "if you only knew." If you only knew how inadequate I feel as a man, as a husband and Dad and that my only adequacy comes from the Lord. If you only knew how I literally plead with God every single day to lead my life, my wife and my sons through me. If you only knew the number of times I wake up with my heart burdened for my wife, for my sons, for my goals & dreams and how I only find strength, joy, comfort and peace in surrendering all of it to Him. If you only knew the fights, the arguments, the hurt in our family every day...that there is only healing, forgiveness and reconciliation in giving it all to Him.
Let me be explicitly clear; I do not have all of the answers - I don't know that I have any answers! - and my precious family is unbelievably far from perfect. We are all on a great journey. We all have great strengths and we all have great weaknesses. We all have moments of great success and we all have moments of great failure. We all have hopes & dreams and we all have worries & fears. I believe (you don't have to agree with me...please respect my belief however and I promise to do the same with yours) there is One who has all the answers. I also believe (please see previous comment about beliefs) what His word says - that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made - perfectly equipped, lacking nothing - for the purpose He has for our lives. In this - in knowing that you and I are fearfully & wonderfully made, perfectly equipped, lacking nothing, for a purpose - I find my strength, joy, comfort and peace and I see, value, respect and cherish YOU.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I am always willing, and would be honored, to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, enjoy this Labor Day weekend and cherish those precious families.
Kev
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