How Do You Feel?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day, that you had a super week and that your weekend is off to a great start. As for me, I have been on the road a lot more than home for the past two weeks and I am so excited to just be with my Beautiful Bride and 3 Tender Warriors! You know you are blessed when you are just excited to wake up and be with the precious people in your life! I do get accused of being loud when I get up so the others will wake up...they cannot prove it! :)

When I was flying back from Seattle yesterday I read the following in Joyce Meyer's book Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions - So They Don't Control You; "Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings." I have started this new thing were I write down the things that are profound to me so I can really learn and apply them to my life - more about that later! - and as I wrote that down it hit me like a board across the back of my head. Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings. It got me to thinking:

• How do I feel about myself? Do I feel I am smart? I am capable? I am able? That my life has value? Meaning? Purpose? Do I feel I am strong & courageous or week & fearful? And here is the real kicker...what do I say to myself about these things? We all have an almost none stop dialogue with ourselves throughout the day. Usually we are talking to ourselves about how we feel about what happened or what is happening. Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings. What am I increasing in my own life?
• How do I feel about my Beautiful Bride? Do I really feel that God gave her to me as a precious gift? Do I feel her life has value, meaning & purpose? Do I feel that I am called to serve her, to lead her, to guide her, to protect her (not one of those things is meant in a negative, demeaning fashion nor is it to imply that she is inadequate)? Do I feel I am blessed she is in my life or do I feel she is a burden in my life? Do I feel like we are on this life journey together, that we complete one another or do I feel I have to overcome her, to try to be better than her? What do I say to myself and others about how I feel about her? Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings. Wow! Please think about the things you have said about your spouse/significant other, that you have heard others say about their spouse/significant other. 
• How do you feel about your kids? Do you feel their life has value, meaning & purpose? Do you feel they have goals & dreams to pursue or do you feel that they need to pursue the goals & dreams that you have for their lives? Do you feel their problems, issues & concerns are as important to them as yours are to you? What are you communicating to your spouse/significant other about how you feel about your kids? What are you communicating to your kids about how you feel about them? What are you communicating to your friends, your co-workers about how you feel about them? Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings.
• How do you feel about your boss, co-workers, neighbors, etc.? What do you say to yourself and others about how you feel? Talking about how I feel increases the intensity of those feelings.

Look Friends, I can't tell you what you should or should not feel. Heck, if I thought I had it all figured out I wouldn't be reading a book titled, "Living Beyond Your Feelings." What I do hope on this beautiful morning is to share the wisdom of a Godly woman - What you and I say about how we feel increases the intensity of our feelings. If we don't like the path of our life, if we don't feel like we are fulfilling our life purpose, perhaps we should look at what we are saying to ourselves about how we feel. If our marriages, our relationships are not what we hoped they would be or what we want them to be, perhaps we should look at what we are saying about how we feel about the people we are in relationship with and about the relationships themselves.

I want to share two other quick thoughts:
1. Another quote from Joyce, "If we perceive that we're in jeopardy, then whether or not it's actually true, we behave as if it's true. And our behavior shapes the quality of our lives." Our perceptions lead to our actions which determine our destiny. This is all tied together Friends. How do I feel about myself (perception)? What do I say to myself and others about how I feel (perception transitioning to action)? How do I act based on my professed feelings about myself (I am walking out and creating my destiny)? For every scenario - self, wife, sons, co-workers, friends, relationships - it is the same. Wow! Can I please say that again?! Wow!
2. Here I am paraphrasing something Joyce said somewhere in the book - translation = Kev can't find the exact quote. It does no good to read a book or learn if we do not apply what we learn. It is only when we apply what we actually learn that change, effective change, takes place. Until you and I go from reading and learning to actually applying, nothing changes. Each one of us will make that choice countless times today.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families and friends.

Kev