A Boys Sermon

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! 

One of my sons has been preaching a sermon through the life he is living. The lessons keep coming at me. I am proud, shocked, amazed, awed...all at once! For some context, prior to sharing his sermon, I want to share three paragraphs from the "Happy Friday" I wrote on November 11, 2011 titled "A Father's Love."

One of my sons has struggled lately with honesty - complete truth without deception. As my Beautiful Bride and I have found times of his dishonesty we have addressed it...first by talking, demonstrating grace, then taking away privileges...and yet, sadly, there was another instance of dishonesty. I was shocked, disappointed, angry, confused - how could this be? We had talked about honesty, how honesty is the foundation of every relationship, how his continued acts of dishonesty were harming our relationship, how it would be difficult to ever trust him if I didn't know he was ALWAYS (that is measurable by the way!) telling me the truth, etc.

Not knowing exactly what to do - and definitely not trusting MY initial thoughts & feelings...the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real comes to mind! - I prayed. I asked God to give me His knowledge and His wisdom to lead my son through me, to see the greatness that God sees in him and to do what God would have me do to empower my son to become all that God has created him to become. The answer came almost immediately...though all of the lessons of the action would be revealed slowly. My boys love sports - go figure! - and for a couple of months this son had been looking forward to the start of basketball season...the first time he would be able to try-out and play on a school team. This is a privilege that would now be taken away...there were much more important things to work on than basketball.

As I sat down with my son and began talking to him, he acknowledged his dishonesty, he stated that he knew he shouldn't have done it - though he knew in his heart it was wrong...this is a great sign! - and yet he did. We again talked about all the consequences of dishonesty and then I told him what the consequence of his actions would be. His eyes immediately filled with tears and a look of complete brokenness crossed his face...at that exact moment my heart broke for my son. Almost immediately I wanted to take it back. I silently asked the Lord if He was sure. Couldn't we do something else? Does it have to be this way? And then I recognized the peace in my Spirit that only comes from the affirmation of God. No, we couldn't do something else. Yes, it has to be this way. I am teaching my son a lesson and I am the one learning...I clear heard and felt God say, "Trust me."

I will NEVER forget that night, that conversation.

We grew together during that season of life, and that basketball season. Last year, as a 7th grader, he went out for the basketball team...and got cut, he didn't make it. I will never forget that day either, the moment he realized he had not made the team. Again, God led us through that time, through those seasons.

About two months ago Gehrig and I were talking. I asked him if he was going to try out for the team. He said no, that - according to him - many of the boys play club basketball, that their club basketball coach is the 8th grade coach and that he would not make the team. We talked about pursuing our goals & dreams, that God is in control of all situations and that we should not close the door on possibilities, that we shouldn't put God in a box. G didn't say much. I thought back to that night in 2011...

Over the past couple of months I would come home from work and G would be out front shooting baskets. Nothing unusual about that, all of my boys love to play all the time. I come home another day and he is up at the park shooting baskets. Again, nothing unusual. Then, about 3 weeks ago, my Beautiful Bride tells me "G is trying out for the basketball team." What?!?! She is unaware of the conversation he and I had. I share it with her. That night I ask Gehrig is he is trying out for the team. He says yes with a quite confidence. It is clear he has had a lot of conversations that did not include me, that he has decided to go for it and his spirit is at peace. Wow!

Last week I took G to tryouts every morning at 5:35. My bride and I prayed. Last Sunday I was driving to church thinking about all of this and I thought, "if he makes the team this will be 'Happy Friday.'" My spirit immediately convicted me; the lesson had already been taught, the "Happy Friday" had already been written. Regardless of whether or not he made the team this would be "Happy Friday." A boy had faced his fears & doubts, a boy had prepared, a boy had decided to pursue his goals & dreams, a boy was trusting God...A Dad was watching and learning, hoping & praying that he would be as strong as the boy, that he would pursue his goals & dreams with the quite certainty of the boy. Yes, regardless this was "Happy Friday."

The final practice of tryouts was Monday morning. The boys would find out who had made the team after school. As I drove G to practice that morning I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up after school, to be there when he found out. He said "sure." I wanted to be there for my boy - good news or bad - and yet it had the feeling that he was the one that was going to be there for me. 

I got to the school a little before 3. It took him FOREVER to get to the car. I prayed, I texted my Bride and I waited. He got to the car about 3 minutes after 3:00 - 3 minutes was my forever. He made the team. It strikes me as profound; he remained quietly confident. I am whooping and hollering, giving him high fives, all excited and he is...calm. It is clear, good or bad, he had resolved the matter in his mind weeks ago. He was going to do his best, pursue his goals & dreams and trust God. He walked it out.

That's it, that's the sermon. Now it is up to you and I. Will we resolve the matter in our minds? Will we do our best, pursue our goals & dreams and trust God? It's possible, I have personally witnessed it. I have witnessed the quite peace and confidence that comes with it.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Different Perspective

Happy Friday Friends,

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and the you have had an awesome week! Typing this Happy Friday on my iPad...please give me grace with typos.

On Sunday (November 10th) there was a great article in the Arizona Republic written by Laurie Roberts titled "A beacon of light, faith and love." Laurie wrote about an incredible woman named Susan Castaneda. In the beginning of the article Laurie described Susan this way: "Susan is on of those people you run into now and then, the sort who seems lit from within, as if a beacon were put there to show the rest of us the way - especially those of us who didn't even realize we had veered off course." The article had my attention.

Susan had been diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2009. This however was not a sad article, an article of regret, missed opportunities, etc. No, it was something much different. Here is how Susan explained it to Laurie: "I look around me and I can see that even the smallest things, I can thank God for," she told me. "I just look at everything that I have that is good. Cancer's one bad thing, but I have 101 good things." Wow...

I now want to get out of the way and just share an excerpt from the article, to let Laurie and Susan speak to you. Taken directly from the article:

Over the last year, she lived with pain, the nausea and the weakness. But there was also a newfound appreciation for the blessings that become more evident when they're about to be taken away.

Big things, like family and friends. Little things, like the ability to get up and go to work, or to help out the young mother ahead of you in the grocery-store checkout line - the one who is pulling items out of her cart because she can't afford them.

"I wake up every day with the reminder that it could be my last day," Susan explained. "I'm going to live my life to the fullest. I'm doing what I want to do now, and I don't hesitate to help anybody who crosses my path that needs a helping hand. And it's not because I think it's going to get me closer to heaven. It's to make me feel good about life."

And so come the lessons that Susan offered as we sat in that basement cafeteria on a scorcher of a blessed Arizona afternoon - lessons we all know but so easily forget in our headlong rush to hurtle through our God-given days.

Tell the people that you love that you love them, every day, she told me.

Give something of yourself to someone else, every day, whether it's from your wallet or from your heart.

And remember, every day, that it could be your last.

"I think at some point we all need to say, 'Let's stop and re-evaluate how we look at life," she said. "I don't wish a terminal diagnosis on anybody. I really don't. But what I do wish is that people can take a look at life through a terminally ill person's eyes, because I bet you they'll just have a different perspective on life."

How is your perspective after reading that Friends? Mine is definitely changed. My heart, my spirit is speaking - no, make that screaming - to me. However I wasn't done getting lessons from someone with a terminal illness this week.

As I was driving to work this week a woman called into the radio station. She too had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Just like Susan she was incredibly happy, thankful - truly thankful - for each day she had been given. She said something I am pretty sure I will remember the rest of my life. Here is what she said:

"To many people you will cross paths with in life, you only live for one day. They will only know you from that one day your paths crossed. How will they remember your life?"

Pretty powerful stuff, huh? Tell them you love them every day, give something from your wallet or your heart every day, how will they remember your life? As Laurie said, "lessons we all know but so easily forget in our headlong rush to hurtle through our God-given days." You and I will choose today and then tomorrow and then tomorrow and then...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Story

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had a great week!

As I talked about in "Happy Friday" last week, last Friday night was my oldest sons Senior Night at his football game - the last regular season home football game. It was such a special night...truly, I don't know how it could have been more perfect. We were blessed with family, many friends...it was truly incredible.

One of the friends that came to the game is a Godly man who I was blessed that God placed in my life a few years ago. Because of priorities - and thankfully he has them in order! - he didn't get to arrive at the game until after halftime. You see, he had a commitment to his daughter which he had to honor first. Just the same, please don't miss this part, he still came to the game. He had to have known coming that the game would be in the 2nd half. It was a key high school match-up, the stands were packed which means the parking lot was packed as well. He still came. He took the time. He made the effort. It spoke to my heart.

As he came up I introduced him to all of our family and friends - telling him a little about each, explaining why they are so special to me. As the final seconds were ticking off the clock we hustled down to the field to hug my boy, to hug his teammates, to enjoy the moment. Again, the same process played itself out. I would see someone, explain who they are, share a little bit of their story and then go give them a hug.

At one point he looks at me and says, "who is that little boy with Payton?" I imagine he turned to look at me however I was already gone. You see the little boy is a very special autistic boy who my wife has the privilege of working with every day. He has written Payton notes, made his signs throughout the season. I had the privilege of meeting him a couple of weeks ago. When my wife said, "who is gonna win Friday night?" he got all excited, raised his arms like he was a champion athlete and said, "the Wildcats...whoop whoop!!!" Such a sweet, precious spirit. He had told Kath several times "I am going to the game this week." He wouldn't show up - however he would ALWAYS know the score! - and then he would say the same thing again. Here he was...finally. He was smiling all over himself - one of those smiles that just makes you want to smile. I grabbed my Beautiful Bride, told her he was here and we took pictures of him with Payton. He was excited, we were excited...it was truly special.

I went back to my buddy and he said, "where did you take off running?" I told him the story about this sweet boy. It was then, at that moment, that the thought hit me - everyone has a story. The thought, the idea has been in my mind all week - everyone has a story. This is what makes them special. This is what makes them unique. This is their gift. This is what makes you special. This is what makes you unique. This is your gift. We all have a story.

At the game that night was:

• Mom - I became a part of her story and she was the beginning of mine.
• My sister, brother-in-law & nephew - Countless stories, like any brother and sister would have.
• Another Brother, a man who has walked beside me through more than one trial/tribulation, who has seen my heart laid bare...and loves me anyways, his beautiful wife and their incredible son.
• There was the couple and their two young boys. She was the realtor who sold us our home when we moved back to Arizona 7 years ago. Kath watched the boys for 3 years. Stories...
• One of my former players showed up. I recruited him as a 17-year old kid - just like my boy is now - and played a small part in helping grow into a man. He is now in his late twenties, expecting his first child.
• There was Grandma & Grandpa - Kath's parents. They knew my when I was a 17-year old kid making mistakes 17-year old kids make and they have loved and supported me.
• There was Kath's sister, her daughter and her daughter's friend. More stories...some remembered, some being created this very night.
• Kath - The greatest gift God has ever given me on this earth. Knows my greatest hopes & dreams as well as my greatest worries & fears. She started dating a 17-year old, completely immature, clueless kid and has stood beside me as God has worked to mold, make & shape me into the man, husband, father that He plans for me to become. We are not there yet, still working on it, however she - my Sweet Girl - she has always stood by my side.
• My boss, her assistant and her friend. Really touched my heart...know clue they were coming. Another story created...

You see, we all have a story. We didn't talk about job titles, money people make or any of the other artificial standards that society wants us to believe are so important. No, it was about people, the roads we have walked together. And please notice, it really struck me as I was typing this, it wasn't about all the successes, victories, etc. In fact, the part that turns my heart most strongly to many - most? perhaps all - of the people is that they have loved me, cared about me, when I have given them reason not to and they have allowed me to love them back during their trials, their struggles.

This week I was listening to the radio and a singer was a guest - sorry, I didn't catch the name. The announcer asked him what his wish would be very Christmas. He stated, "That every person would know that their story matters. That their life is their gift." So beautiful, so true. That is my wish for you Friend, that you would realize - truly recognize, appreciate and believe - that your story matters and your life is a gift.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

The Moment

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday morning! It has been a while since I have seen this early of a Friday morning. Because it has been more convenient for me, because it works best with the crazy Haslam family life, I have been writing "Happy Friday" on Thursday nights. I decided earlier this week that I was going to get up a little earlier this Friday morning and actually write "Happy Friday" on Friday morning like I always used to do. I almost regretted it when I woke up!! :)

I have a few different things on my heart this morning. Just going to share and see where it leads us.

Senior Night
Tonight at 6:30 p.m. my Beautiful Bride and I will stand side by side, we will most likely hold hands and #5 - our 17-year old son - will line up across the field from us. The three of us will be introduced, a message that we have for him will be read as well as the message that he has for his Mom and I. We will walk towards each other, hug and I will have one more chance to tell him how much I love him and believe in him before he plays his final regular season home football game.

As I look to tonight my heart is not filled with sadness...the thing that keeps coming to mind is "This is so awesome!" Kath and I have often talked about this; I truly don't have a single "I wish Payton was..." moment/thought. I truly have enjoyed every step of our journey together up until this moment and I anxiously look forward to those to come. I don't wish he were in Kiddy College at Wayne State College...I smile as I remember he and I holding hands - one of the greatest feelings in the world is the precious hand of a child in yours! - as I walked him to class. I don't wish we could start this high school journey over...my heart feels warm as I remember his successes, I feel proud of my son as I remember the adversities he has overcome. Tonight is not a sad ending...it is the celebration of a new beginning! It is now, at this moment, that it is so clear to me; life is about the journey. It is a process. There are highs and their are lows...neither of which define us. It is a privilege, an honor to be Payton's Dad. I have enjoyed every moment of our journey to this point and I look forward to each step from this point forward!

Live In The Moment
How come, with me being the parent, I share things with my son to help him grow and the thing I share with him grabs my heart and transforms my life?!?! Hey, I am the adult here! He is the one that is supposed to be learning.

I shared this with you all a few weeks ago I believe. This thing has grabbed a hold of my heart, challenged my spirit and God is using it to transform my life. Let me share it again real quick and then I will share a few thoughts - This is taken directly from Training Camp: A Fable About Excellence by Jon Gordon:

The best seize the moment because they don’t allow their fear of failure to define them. They know this fear exists, and they overcome it. Their faith is greater than any score, performance, or outcome. Even if they lose, they are still on the path to greatness. And even if they fail, they are one step closer to the perfection they seek.

Ironically, even though the best have a dream and a vision within their sights, it is the journey, not the destination, that matters most to them. The moment is more important than any success or failure. The moment is the success. The moment is the reward.

When the best are in the midst of their performance, they are not thinking “What if I win?” or “What if I lose?” They are not thinking “What if I make a mistake or miss the shot?” They are not interested in what the moment produces but are only concerned with what they produce in the moment. When all eyes are watching, they know that this is the moment they have been preparing and waiting for. Rather than hiding from pressure, they rise to the occasion. As a result, the best define the moment rather than letting them moment define them. To seize the moment, don’t let your failure define you; let it fuel you. Don’t run from fear; face it and embrace it. Don’t let the fear rob you of your love and joy for the game; let it push you into the moment and beyond yourself. Let it inspire you to live and work each day as though it was your last.

Don’t let the moment define you. You define the moment. Define it by knowing that your practice and preparation have prepared you well. Define it with your mental strength, faith and confidence. Define it by knowing that regardless of the outcome, you have given your very best.

Everyone talks about destiny. Everyone searches for it, not realizing that every moment is your destiny. Make every moment of your life count. Realize that this is your one shot, yet don’t focus on the result or the outcome of the shot. Just focus on the shot.

Don’t focus on the past, and don’t look to the future. Success, rewards, accolades, fame, and fortune are merely byproducts for those who are able to seize the moment – not those who look beyond it. Ironically, to enjoy success you must not focus on it. Rather, you must focus on the process that produces success.

You are more than your successes. You are more than your failures. You are who you are in the moment. Enjoy it. Live it. Make the most of it. Make it yours.

 

It's all about the moment...living fully in it, giving yourself fully to it, not focusing on the outcome but rather focusing on the moment. If in fact we will focus on the moment, the outcome will take care of itself. Moms & Dads, is this speaking to your heart like it is screaming at mine? Husbands? Wives? If we will only live in the moment...

 

Speak Victory

I have no idea where they have come from but there have been a few Negativity Gremlins popping up around my house in the last few weeks and it is driving me crazy! One likes to say, "I can't" and another wants to point out how hard everything is all the time. As these Little Gremlins spew their venom it has really made me aware of the little negative things I will say - "I am not smart," "I am not the brightest bulb on the scoreboard," etc. While I am speaking these words in jest, my spirit has convicted me to get rid of them...even if I am kidding. So funny, and no I am not making this up, Speak Life by Toby Mac just came on the radio as I am typing this!!! God has such a great sense of humor!!!

 

The words we speak have great, great power. The thing about words is there is no meaningless or empty word. Every word has power - for life or for death. Yes, yes, I know. I have told Kath several times, "I am only kidding" or "I didn't really mean it." The thing is I spoke it. When we say things over and over again, when we receive them into our hearts, into our spirits they take root and grow. We need to continually cultivate the gardens of our hearts Friends. A misplaced seed can grow and, while it was a joke, something we didn't really mean, it can take root and grow into something that is far from funny.

 

Here is what I want to speak to you, to your life this morning - taking the lyrics directly from The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets:

 

Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.

You're gonna do great things I already know

God's got his hand on you so don't live life in fear

Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here

Take your time and pray

These are the words I would say

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

 

Kev