Christmas Reflections & Lessons

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and that you had a wonderful Christmas week with your family.

I want to share a few reflections and some lessons learned from this Christmas.

1. This year I went back to scheduling a special night with each of my 3 Tender Warriors. They picked the date & time - it immediately went on my calendar, they picked the place we would go for dinner and then we did whatever they wanted to do. Before we went I made it very clear to them that they did not have to buy anything...we could just walk around the mall or whatever together.

The first night was Gehrig. He is definitely my son...it was all about the dinner. We went to his favorite restaurant, ordered bacon double cheeseburgers, fries, and he got a strawberry shake. After dinner we went to walk around the mall. He was fine with not buying anyone a gift...except Mom. He knew exactly what he wanted to get her, where it would be, and he got it for her. It truly touched my heart to see my son be so thoughtful.

The second night was a swap - it was supposed to be with Payton however he talked Landry into changing dates with him. Landry chose to go to Red Lobster...yes!! We shared our clam chowder, we shared calamari and then we shared grilled shrimp. After eating we headed over to the mall and walked around. After the first store I had to remind him that the idea was not what we wanted but what we could give to others. Hey, he's 8...I am 46 and I get it! :) We went to a jewelry store and slowly started walking around the different cases. His eyes locked in on a necklace that said "Love." He asked the woman working if he could see it...he was afraid to touch it. I asked her the price and he had enough...but would have very little left. We decided to walk around and think about such a big purchase. As we made it to the far end of the mall he looked at me and said, "I am going to buy it for Mom." We hustled back to the store and my 8-year old Little Tender Warrior bought his Mom a very beautiful necklace. I was amazed by the thought he really put into...and the fact that he was willing to sacrifice nearly everything he had for his Mom.

The final night was Payton and I. We did some serious damage to some wings...and cheese sticks...and fried zucchini...and onion rings...and - well you get the point! We then headed over to the mall. He knew for a fact he wanted to get something for two people - his baby brother and his Mom. We went to Build-A-Bear and he had a bear built for Landry - it was a white bear because it would look much better with the Marine uniform he bought for it. This bear would be a special blessing a couple of days later. And he knew he wanted to buy his Mom a ring she had seen while they were together...at another mall...20 miles away! So after getting our bear - his name is PAL...for Payton And Landry - we hopped in the car and headed to the other mall. Just as with Gehrig he knew right where we were going, what he wanted and he got it. Wow, I guess it isn't true that all teenagers think about is themselves.

You know what? These three nights were the greatest gift...to me! To have time with each of my sons, to talk about life, about what is important to them, to do what they want...Friends, it was priceless. These boys are such a great gift and they bless my life so richly! We all ignored cell phones and we just enjoyed each other. We had deep conversations - hopes, dreams, fears - and we laughed. It wasn't about where we were going or what we were buying. No, it was about being together, truly enjoying one another and cherishing our time together. This is a tradition that will continue as long as the boys are willing to go with me.

2. So on Christmas Eve, around 2:00 p.m., my Littlest Tender Warrior, the one who is most excited about Christmas, gets the flu. He is sicker than anything. He would continue to get sick about every 30 minutes late into the night. He is such a trooper. He tries to get excited, participates in opening his Dad Box - special gifts I have gotten for him - and then he gets sick again. No matter where he is, what he is doing, every thirty minutes he gets sick and PAL is with him constantly. He loves on and hugs that bear all day, all night...and it still continues. The only time he moves away from PAL is when he knows he is about to be sick.

Payton tried hard to get Landry to write a note to Santa...Little Man just couldn't do it. So Payton wrote the note for him. The note touched my heart. It was a very passionate note expressing concern for his brother, asking Santa to use some magical power to make Landry feel better and asking Santa to answer all of the normal questions that Landry would ask - how is Rudolph? How is Mrs. Claus? The love and concern, the fact that he just wanted his little brother to get well truly touched my heart.

As for Landry, he woke up on Christmas morning feeling great. He was back to his normal self - running around everywhere, wonder and excitement at every turn. The thing most incredible to me - he stated that this had been a great Christmas. He didn't mention being so sick, he didn't whine or complain about anything...he simply announced that this had been a great Christmas. The circumstances didn't define the day...he did, on his terms, with his family, the way he wanted to define it. His Dad learned another great lesson by the example he set for me.

3. On Christmas night the Haslam family started what I think will be a new tradition - we watched movies on the Hallmark Channel. It started off with Landry, my Beautiful Bride and I. Somewhere around the end of the first movie and the beginning of the second Gehrig joined us. Then, towards the end of the second movie Payton came in. All told we watched 4 movies, back to back to back to back. It was awesome!

The thing I keep coming back to is how in each movie, in the end, someone gets their life back on track by being who they are, by pursuing what is important to them, by not allowing this world to define them. Sounds a lot like life, huh? It is life...for you, for me, for all of us. The key, in all of this is to pursue our own individual greatness, to become the best we are capable of becoming, to pursue our dreams. It is when we get caught up in other stuff that life gets sideways - whether it is real or a Hallmark movie. The reward for pursuing our own greatness is not necessarily wealth or fame, it is much more valuable than that! The reward is a peace, a deep abiding peace that can only be found in the complete pursuit of our own individual greatness. This is my hope, my prayer for each one of us.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful rest of the weekend, a very Happy New Year and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Hope or Fear

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have all had a great week. Only 5 days until Christmas...oh my!

Hope or fear...we are all going to choose one or the other, possibly multiple times, during the day as well as throughout our lives. The choice we make in those moments will determine the quality of the lives we live, the actions we take and, as a result of the actions we do or do not take, dictate the futures we live.

Have you ever really thought about hope, about fear. We hope for things we want to happen, we fear things that we don't want to happen. It is in the uncertainty of life that the seeds of hope or fear are planted - whichever one we water is the one that grows. You want to really shake your head? Take a look at this:

Certain
Adjective
Known for sure, established beyond doubt

So what exactly can we be certain of? I started typing out a whole bunch of questions - each one had "no" for an answer - however I don't want to waste your time or belabor the point. I would argue that the only thing that is certain is this moment - who you are, where you are, your hopes & dreams, etc. - right now. The only thing you or I can do is to live fully in this moment right now. While I hope I have tomorrow with my family I don't know that I will. Therefore wisdom would tell me to live this moment to the fullest with them - to truly be fully present with them, to love them, to cherish our time together. It is true of literally every aspect of life, of every moment. The challenge then is to live fully in the moment.

Let's get back to hope and fear and their impact on the moment. I can live a life of hope - noun; a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen - or I can live a life of fear - noun; an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Both are based on the unknown - something in the future. In fact, each one of us will choose to live with one or the other - they may be in different shades of grey as a friend of mine would say, but the scale is tipped towards one or the other. And the impact on the moment? Think about the words we speak, the things we do, how we treat others when we have an expectation or a desire for something to happen. How about the words we speak, the things we do, how we treat others when we have a belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat? Our choice to walk by or hope to walk by faith has everything to do with the moment - they control it.

Friends, I pray that each one of us will choose to live a life of hope. Will we get knocked down sometimes, kicked in the gut? Yes, I am sorry we will. What do we do then? We get back up, we dust ourselves off and we again make a choice - hope or fear. Please choose hope.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, a very Merry Christmas and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Gentle Reminders

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday and that you have had a great week!

This week I would like to share two, what I would call, gentle reminders.

Earlier this week I was reading my Bible and two different times the word "patience" was listed. The word stood out to me like it was highlighted...more specifically, like it was meant for me. I kept reading and my eyes kept getting drawn back to these words - patience. I decided to look up the meaning of the word instead of just assuming I knew what it meant. If you Google the word "patience" here is what you will find:

pa·tience

 

noun

noun: patience

1. 1.

   the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

 

Let's see...the capacity to accept (hard sometimes) or tolerate (sounds more like me!) delay (augh!), trouble (feel uncomfortable), or suffering (really don't want to!) without getting angry (clear throat) or upset (throw up arms in despair!). How can an 8 letter little word pack so much power?!?!

Try the beginning of this scripture out that has been bouncing around in my head all week; "Love is patient..." So, love is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Now that is powerful! Man I want to be patient with my Beautiful Bride, my Tender Warriors, with every person whose life I cross paths with every day. It is a task requiring strength far greater than I can ever muster in my own strength, courage, knowledge and/or wisdom. I will need to meet Him again tomorrow morning if there is the smallest of chance.

I have been rereading some of my leadership books each morning. Earlier this week I cracked open Wooden on Leadership by John Wooden and Steve Jamison. There were a few things that I read this week that were like water to my mouth when it is parched & dry. It was so refreshing! I was like, "how did I forget this?!" In the hustle of life, in the constant striving and fighting for whatever we are fighting for, it is sometimes easy to lose sight of some simple and yet incredibly profound thoughts. Let me share a few quick excerpts here with you:

• ...most of us have a potential far beyond what we think possible.
• Through it all he [Coach Wooden's Dad] made the best of what he had and was thankful for it.
• "Sons," he [Dad] would tell my three brothers and me, "don't worry about whether you're better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can become. You have control over that; the other you don't."
• Many cynics, then and now, dismiss what Dad taught me about success as being naïve or impractical. But I have yet to hear the cynics or skeptics describe what more you can give beyond your best. To my way of thinking, when you give your total effort - everything you have - the score can never make you a loser. And when you do less, it can't somehow magically turn you into a winner.
• Regardless of the situation you face as a leader, you must believe and teach those under your leadership that success is theirs when together you summon the will to put forth everything you have.

This morning I was all fired up about some of the things I read in Coach Wooden's book so I decided to use quotes from him for my Facebook and Twitter posts today. I want to share one with you that I would like to offer as our challenge this week:

"I am just a common man who is true to his beliefs." - John Wooden

 

Most would not refer to Coach Wooden as "common." The term used to describe him would be "exceptional" or whatever is greater than "exceptional." And yet, Coach saw himself as a common man - and here is the nugget - who was simply true to his beliefs. The challenge to me, to you, is this - can we say the same thing? Can we truly stand tall and publicly state "I am true to my beliefs." I honestly can't think of a much greater epitaph.

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

 

Kev

Honor Today

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day and a wonderful weekend! Additionally, I hope you have got your battery recharged and that you are ready for a great, difference making week.

Earlier this week I was speaking with a great friend...you know, the kind that calls you at just the right time without even knowing it is the right time. We had a great conversation and he said something that struck me as incredibly profound: "honor today." I have thought, I continue to think, about that comment.

• You want a closer relationship with God? Honor today.
• You want to become all that you were created to become? Honor today.
• You want to be one with your spouse? Honor today.
• You want to serve your family, to have a close relationship with them? Honor today.
• You want to fulfill your goals & dreams? Honor today.
• You want to live with joy & peace in your spirit? Honor today.
• You want to live free of regret, fear, worry? Honor today.
• You want to break free from an addiction, a bad relationship, a bad circumstance? Honor today.

Honor today...incredibly simple, incredibly profound. If, IF we truly lived by the simple motto of "Honor today" how different would our tomorrows be? How different would our lives - our marriages, our relationships with our children, our careers be if we simply honored today? It makes sense to me. If I focus on today - pursue God, lead & serve my wife & sons, if I do the very best I can in everything I do today all my tomorrows will take care of themselves. Today I am making this commitment. When the alarm goes off in the morning I will have to make it again. This process will have to repeat itself each and every day if I am truly to "Honor today."

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, an awesome week, please cherish your precious families and please, honor today.

Kev