Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and that you had a wonderful Christmas week with your family.
I want to share a few reflections and some lessons learned from this Christmas.
1. This year I went back to scheduling a special night with each of my 3 Tender Warriors. They picked the date & time - it immediately went on my calendar, they picked the place we would go for dinner and then we did whatever they wanted to do. Before we went I made it very clear to them that they did not have to buy anything...we could just walk around the mall or whatever together.
The first night was Gehrig. He is definitely my son...it was all about the dinner. We went to his favorite restaurant, ordered bacon double cheeseburgers, fries, and he got a strawberry shake. After dinner we went to walk around the mall. He was fine with not buying anyone a gift...except Mom. He knew exactly what he wanted to get her, where it would be, and he got it for her. It truly touched my heart to see my son be so thoughtful.
The second night was a swap - it was supposed to be with Payton however he talked Landry into changing dates with him. Landry chose to go to Red Lobster...yes!! We shared our clam chowder, we shared calamari and then we shared grilled shrimp. After eating we headed over to the mall and walked around. After the first store I had to remind him that the idea was not what we wanted but what we could give to others. Hey, he's 8...I am 46 and I get it! :) We went to a jewelry store and slowly started walking around the different cases. His eyes locked in on a necklace that said "Love." He asked the woman working if he could see it...he was afraid to touch it. I asked her the price and he had enough...but would have very little left. We decided to walk around and think about such a big purchase. As we made it to the far end of the mall he looked at me and said, "I am going to buy it for Mom." We hustled back to the store and my 8-year old Little Tender Warrior bought his Mom a very beautiful necklace. I was amazed by the thought he really put into...and the fact that he was willing to sacrifice nearly everything he had for his Mom.
The final night was Payton and I. We did some serious damage to some wings...and cheese sticks...and fried zucchini...and onion rings...and - well you get the point! We then headed over to the mall. He knew for a fact he wanted to get something for two people - his baby brother and his Mom. We went to Build-A-Bear and he had a bear built for Landry - it was a white bear because it would look much better with the Marine uniform he bought for it. This bear would be a special blessing a couple of days later. And he knew he wanted to buy his Mom a ring she had seen while they were together...at another mall...20 miles away! So after getting our bear - his name is PAL...for Payton And Landry - we hopped in the car and headed to the other mall. Just as with Gehrig he knew right where we were going, what he wanted and he got it. Wow, I guess it isn't true that all teenagers think about is themselves.
You know what? These three nights were the greatest gift...to me! To have time with each of my sons, to talk about life, about what is important to them, to do what they want...Friends, it was priceless. These boys are such a great gift and they bless my life so richly! We all ignored cell phones and we just enjoyed each other. We had deep conversations - hopes, dreams, fears - and we laughed. It wasn't about where we were going or what we were buying. No, it was about being together, truly enjoying one another and cherishing our time together. This is a tradition that will continue as long as the boys are willing to go with me.
2. So on Christmas Eve, around 2:00 p.m., my Littlest Tender Warrior, the one who is most excited about Christmas, gets the flu. He is sicker than anything. He would continue to get sick about every 30 minutes late into the night. He is such a trooper. He tries to get excited, participates in opening his Dad Box - special gifts I have gotten for him - and then he gets sick again. No matter where he is, what he is doing, every thirty minutes he gets sick and PAL is with him constantly. He loves on and hugs that bear all day, all night...and it still continues. The only time he moves away from PAL is when he knows he is about to be sick.
Payton tried hard to get Landry to write a note to Santa...Little Man just couldn't do it. So Payton wrote the note for him. The note touched my heart. It was a very passionate note expressing concern for his brother, asking Santa to use some magical power to make Landry feel better and asking Santa to answer all of the normal questions that Landry would ask - how is Rudolph? How is Mrs. Claus? The love and concern, the fact that he just wanted his little brother to get well truly touched my heart.
As for Landry, he woke up on Christmas morning feeling great. He was back to his normal self - running around everywhere, wonder and excitement at every turn. The thing most incredible to me - he stated that this had been a great Christmas. He didn't mention being so sick, he didn't whine or complain about anything...he simply announced that this had been a great Christmas. The circumstances didn't define the day...he did, on his terms, with his family, the way he wanted to define it. His Dad learned another great lesson by the example he set for me.
3. On Christmas night the Haslam family started what I think will be a new tradition - we watched movies on the Hallmark Channel. It started off with Landry, my Beautiful Bride and I. Somewhere around the end of the first movie and the beginning of the second Gehrig joined us. Then, towards the end of the second movie Payton came in. All told we watched 4 movies, back to back to back to back. It was awesome!
The thing I keep coming back to is how in each movie, in the end, someone gets their life back on track by being who they are, by pursuing what is important to them, by not allowing this world to define them. Sounds a lot like life, huh? It is life...for you, for me, for all of us. The key, in all of this is to pursue our own individual greatness, to become the best we are capable of becoming, to pursue our dreams. It is when we get caught up in other stuff that life gets sideways - whether it is real or a Hallmark movie. The reward for pursuing our own greatness is not necessarily wealth or fame, it is much more valuable than that! The reward is a peace, a deep abiding peace that can only be found in the complete pursuit of our own individual greatness. This is my hope, my prayer for each one of us.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great evening, a wonderful rest of the weekend, a very Happy New Year and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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