Don't Be Classless

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning!

If you are tired of hearing about Richard Sherman - the highly intelligent, extremely gifted, very passionate cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks - I apologize. I am going to share my thoughts and feelings about him and the situation that has unfolded over the course of the past week.

To recap, for those who might not know what is going on, let me share an excerpt from an article titled "Richard Sherman fined for taunting" on ESPN ScoreCenter. It reads in part:

Immediately following the game, Sherman was interviewed on Fox Sports and was asked to describe the play.

"I'm the best corner in the game," Sherman said, yelling. "When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's the result you're gonna get. Don't ever talk about me."

Sherman then was asked who was talking about him.

"Crabtree," he said. "Don't you open your mouth about the best, or I'm gonna shut it for you real quick."

This interview caused a furor on Twitter & Facebook, there have been countless articles written and it has dominated sports radio and television. I have found it all so...interesting.

I saw the interview. My family and I were watching the game. With less than a minute left in the game - the 49ers driving for the winning score - Richard made a spectacular play, tipping away a pass intended for wide receiver Michael Crabtree which was intercepted by teammate Malcolm Smith. We were all whooping and hollering - sorry 49ers fans, we were cheering for the Seahawks - and within a few moments, the above interview was had with Fox reporter Erin Andrews. And everything erupted...

Now, in 100% disclosure, I will share my reaction to the interview - I laughed. My boys and I even talked about how weird my reaction was. You see, I don't like taunting, trash talking, etc. Never did it and would not tolerate my players doing it when I was a football coach. I am a huge fan of the player who makes the play and then goes back to the huddle. Act like you have been there before... yes, this is what I believe in and what I prefer. And yet, when I saw Richards interview I laughed.

Let me share a few thoughts with you:

1. Having been in and around college athletics for more than 25 years let me tell you - Sherman's reaction wasn't really surprising. He is a highly skilled, highly trained competitor, competing at the very highest levels, playing with and against incredible athletes, playing arguably the most difficult position of all sports to play -don't think so? Take anyone out in the yard or street today, have them run around wherever they want and try to stay right with them, step for step...unless you too play cornerback in the NFL you are probably going to look ridiculous like the rest of us! - and he is playing in the biggest game of his life. If he makes the play his team goes to the championship game, if he doesn't, his teams season is over. He makes the play and then has a microphone shoved in his face and we are shocked that passion and emotion comes out. I have seen athletes make plays - some really rather routine - and they are cussing, making racial comments and much, much worse. Sherman speaks clearly, expresses the confidence he has in himself - something he had to have to achieve what he has achieved by the way...more on that in a moment - and he articulates to the world what many - perhaps most athletes - say to themselves about their opponents as they mentally prepare themselves for competition. For this we are shocked. For this Richard gets labeled "a thug" and is called "classless" over and over again.

2. Please do me a favor at some point this weekend; look up Richard Sherman and read about his life. Not the opinions, the facts. Learn about him growing up in Compton, CA, learn about overcoming the odds, the belief in self to persevere...really learn about Richard Sherman. I believe you will find someone much different than what you have read or heard about. Do I like or agree with everything Richard says and does? No. Heck, I don't like everything I say and do! This however does not make him a bad person, someone to be feared or vilified and it certainly doesn't make him "a thug" or "classless." Let's educate ourselves, learn who he really is, what he really does and what he really stands for. After this I hope we would still fight the temptation to label Sherman, he after all is a man, a person, just like you and me - strengths & weaknesses, fears & failures, hopes & dreams...all of it.

3. I think the thing that has struck me the most this week is the self-righteousness, the judgment. I have one friend on Facebook who commented that Sherman is a "classless ass." O.K., in my opinion, that was really classy...NOT! Another friend has repeatedly called him a "classless ass" and this is a guy who has something negative to say about every team but his, who makes an awful lot of inappropriate - sexist, demeaning - comments. Is this the "class" we wish Sherman had?

The thug thing I really don't get. Because a man express confidence in himself and states his opinion about a competitor he is a thug? I really don't get it.

Do I want my sons or would I have wanted my players to say what Richard said? No, I prefer what I would call a more humble approach. Do I recognize that the very confidence in self that Sherman communicated play a critical role in him rising above the challenges of growing up in the inner city to get a Stanford education and to become arguably the best - as he proclaims - cornerback in the NFL? Yes. It is quite the conundrum isn't it? Richard is just like all of us. We have strengths, talents, gifts and abilities that have helped us achieve what we have achieved. At the same time we all have faults, failures and shortcomings...things we know we should change, things we wish we could change, about ourselves. I pray that we, that I, would not rush to judge, to label another. No, instead I pray we would find the greatness in others, that we would show mercy & grace towards what we think are shortcomings in others and that the last thing we would do is label another lest we show ourselves to be classless asses.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Please Forgive the Mess

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that your weekend is off to a great start!

Earlier this week I was listening to the radio. The announcer was talking about a sign he had read when he entered a store. The sign said, "Please Forgive the Mess While We Remodel." He then equated the sign to the sign that we could each carry in our lives - please forgive the mess while we continue to grow, change and improve - while our lives are being remodeled.

For me it was a perfect picture. I do not believe I am today who I have ultimately been created to become however I am a heck of a lot different than I was 10, 5 or even 1 year ago. I have been in a constant state of construction. I think this is a good thing.

Two thoughts come to mind:
1. That we would all embrace who we are today and strive to become all that we were created to become. Life is not static - nothing stays exactly the same. In all aspects of our life - spiritual, mental, physical, maturity, professional...and all the other things I can't think of right now! - we are changing. We are either moving towards the fulfillment of the potential that was placed within us or we are decaying. The determining factor(s) between the two is what things we choose to do each day in each of those areas. In the area of physical for example, I can choose to get rest, eat properly & exercise or I can choose to neglect rest, eat whatever I want & not exercise - either way, I am moving one direction or the other on my potential continuum. What do most of us try to do? Enough. Enough to get by without having to sacrifice too greatly however trying to keep away the negative consequences to a level we feel is tolerable - a great topic for another Happy Friday.

The point I really want to make here is you are under construction, we all are. Please be kind to yourself - love and respect yourself. You are not perfect and you don't have to be. I pray that you will choose to believe that your life has great value, meaning & purpose and that you will choose to pursue the greatness - the fulfillment of the potential that is within you. Heck, I think I am going to put a sign up in my office that says, "Please Forgive the Mess, Under Construction." It will be a constant reminder to me and it will open the door to some truly amazing conversations I am sure.

2. The gentle reminder that what applies to you and to me applies to everyone else as well. We are all under construction - or are structures in serious danger of being condemned! To demonstrate love, mercy & grace to others whether they want or deserve it or not. Perhaps Friends some don't even realize their own brokenness, their own need for remodeling. It may play out in an act or word that hurts or angers you/me however in reality it is just another broken spirit screaming out for help. Maybe it will be your word of love, maybe it will be your act of grace that will finally cause them to allow their heart, mind, spirit to begin the remodeling process.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Quotes

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had an awesome week. Tough getting back into the flow of things after the Holidays, isn't it?!?!

Just wanted to share some quotes with you this week. As I have read them they have really struck me as profound, they have challenged my Spirit and they have caused me to think.

"Personal example carries more weight than preaching." - Chinese Proverb

Another quote we all really wish we could live by is, "Do what I say, not as I do." Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

"You have no idea the numbers of people that God may want to influence through you." - Andy Stanley

It would be great if we could decide where and when we are going to influence others. Again, we don't. People are always listening, always watching. We are influencing all of them...whether we intend to or not.

The other point I would like to share about this one is a simple truth: your life, your story matters. You have no idea the numbers of lives that will be touched if you will share it.

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." - Flora Whittemore

It is the choices we make, the journey, that decide the lives we will ultimately live. A series of individual choices, piled one upon another, that ultimately decide the quality of our lives and our legacies.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." - Frederick Douglass

I once had an assistant coach say, "I struggle knowing when to love them and when to discipline them" in talking about our players. I told him he was looking at it wrong. There is not a time of love and a time of discipline - we discipline them because we love them AND, discipline should be handed down in love...you can't separate the two.

Our children do need to learn appropriate and inappropriate behavior and most importantly, that there are consequences for each. I don't like it when I have to impose discipline on my boys...often times it breaks my heart. At the same time I love them enough to do so and I am keenly aware that their future wives, their children, I could in fact argue that society, is counting on me.

"Be what you want your team to become." - John Wooden

This really goes back to the first quote - words don't mean nearly as much as actions. I also want to point out that while this does certainly apply to our jobs, my most important team is my family. If I want them to love, respect, honor & protect each other - I certainly do! - then I need to live out loving, respecting, honoring & protecting each one of them.

"We never know which lives we influence, or when or why." - Stephen King

Point has already been made. Again, you and I are influencing every single person we come into contact with every single day - the only thing left to be determined is whether that influence will be a positive one or a negative one.

"What you say today is imprinted on the hearts of your children for a lifetime." - Unknown

Our words are so powerful. We get tired, we get frustrated and in a moment say something that can crush a spirit and alter the trajectory of a life. I pray that we will choose them carefully and when we fail - unfortunately, we are all bound to at some point in time - as soon as we realize our error offer a heart-felt apology.

It is interesting to me also that the quote simply talks about "your children." I am assuming that is because for the most part, we care about our children. The reality is the words we speak to anyone are imprinted on their hearts for a lifetime. I pray that our words speak life. I know, so counter to society today and yet, so critically needed.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a truly wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev