I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day dawns!
I didn't get a chance to write a Happy Friday last week. I got to go to South Dakota and see Payton for the first time in 3 months! I am so blessed! Late night dinner together on Thursday once I arrived, early breakfast on Friday...he didn't complain about either and, for the most part, ignored his cell phone. If I didn't know better I might think he has missed me too!!!
Seriously, it was a great trip. I am truly honored & blessed to be Payton's Dad. We spent hours talking and of course, watching college football. I got to watch him run out onto the field for the first time as a college football player, we took a picture on the field together after the game and then we hustled up to his dorm room to watch the 4th quarter of the Arizona State/Notre Dame football game. It's funny, it is the little moments, sitting together in a little dorm room watching a football game, that are cherished and stowed away in the heart.
I have a couple of thoughts for all of my friends with kids still at home:
1. It goes so fast...cherish it. Yes, yes, I know. The days can be long, the schedules are hectic and it can all be exhausting. In a flash the time is gone. I swear I can remember clearly the moment Payton was born. All of the sudden he is 3 years old and I am walking him to Kiddy College. How in the world is he now 13 years old and I am walking with him to his first high school football practice - close enough that he knows he is safe, far enough away that I don't embarrass him? Oh goodness, he is now 18 years old and I am giving him one last hug before I leave him at college. It is amazing how quickly the time has passed. Cherish every moment friends, they are fleeting.
2. No matter their age, they still need you. Yes, the relationship changes as they become men & women however they still need you. The hard part for us as parents is to figure out what that looks like. No, they don't need us the same as adults as they did at 3 or 5 or 13 but be sure, they still need us. It is up to us as parents to figure out the new code - instead of "Dad, I am scared, hold my hand" it becomes, "you can come with me if you want" - and to adjust according to their needs. It can be so hard. When I look at Payton I don't see the man, now as tall as me, whiskers on his chin, who can now lift more weight than me...I still see the little boy. But he is not a little boy any more. He is now a man, a man who I want to be strong enough to leave home, responsible enough to take care of himself and courageous enough to pursue his hopes, goals & dreams. The challenges come when we as parents try to impose our will, to treat these precious gifts as different than they are. The relationship has changed but the need for the parents love, guidance and support has not...its just different. And let me add, every bit as joyful, fulfilling and special. When our kids leave home to carve out their special place in this world it does not mark the end of the relationship, it is simply the beginning of an exciting new chapter.
O.K., that is not at all what I was planning for this Happy Friday so I better get to the point. This week I came across a couple of definitions when I was on the website for Apogee Physicians that I want to share with you this morning. You can read it all at http://apogeephysicians.com/cultureOurPhilo.php. I want to share these definitions, as well as a few thoughts, with you this morning.
"Integrity is the courage to stand for what you know is right, the strength to turn words into action and the conviction to see it through."
There is a whole lot packed into this beautiful sentence!
- Courage is defined as being afraid and doing something anyway. It is not the absence of fear. May we be courageous!
- "What you know is right" - there is nothing sadder, or more difficult to deal with, than violating our own spirit. When we know we should or shouldn't do something and don't follow the leading of our spirit we have failed the greatest test of integrity. My hope for us all is that we will be led by the internal moral compass!
- Words into actions..."Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you." - Arthur Gordon
- "What you do speaks so loudly that I can't hear what you say!"
- Conviction...everyone wants to "win", be successful, etc. Nobody sets out wanting to lose, to fail. How do we respond when the going gets tough, when the storms of life come? They are coming - it is not a matter of "if" but "when." Do we, will we, have the conviction to stick with it until the very end?
"Leadership is the will to give more of yourself than you receive in return. Putting the needs of others ahead of your own. An opportunity to accomplish, together with others, what would be impossible for any individual alone."
Wow! Now this is a great definition of leadership!
- Giving more of yourself than you receive in return...Completely counter to what society would tell us. Am I, are you, willing to be a leader that willingly gives more than we will ever receive in return? What would our families, our places of work look like if we truly lived this out?
- Are we strong enough to put the needs of others above our own? When is the last time we have intentionally submitted our needs, we aren't talking wants here...we are talking needs!, to the needs of others? Again, what would our lives, our world look like if we truly walked this out?
- And it closes beautifully. Leadership - selfless leadership - gives us the opportunity to accomplish things that we never would have been able to accomplish on our own.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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