I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Sunday evening. Additionally, I hope & trust you have had a great weekend, that your battery is recharged and that you are ready for a great work week!
thefreedictionary.com states this about "different":
adj.
1. Unlike in form, quality, amount or nature; dissimilar: took different approaches to the problem.
The first definition I look up and it hits the nail right on the head - being different, taking different approaches. Let me back up a little bit. Earlier this week I was thinking about someone I am challenged by, at the heart level. They do things different than me, their priorities seem to be vastly different than mine...they challenge me. I am nice & cordial to them yet I struggle...I am challenged. It is so easy to see the differences, to recognize how I think, say & do things differently than they do. I was really pondering this - our differences - earlier this week and then my Spirit convicted me...STRONGLY. Why are you focusing on the differences? Why don't you try to understand them? Like being hit with a 2 x 4 across my head, I froze in my tracks. I hadn't really thought about the answers to those questions. I was so busy focusing on what I thought, what I would do, how I would handle things, I never paused long enough to make even a feeble attempt at understanding them. With a convicted Spirit and a contrite heart I decided I would seek to understand.
You and me...we are different. We are different from each other and from others. There are not two of us who are exactly the same. We are all shaped by our experiences, our reactions to those experiences, our values, our morals, our ethics...there are so many points of distinction. We will find others similar to us however to find two people who are EXACTLY the same - spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, experientially, morally, ethically, etc. - is impossible. We would have to have the exact same experiences at the exact same point in time in our lives, make the exact same decisions, have the exact same outcomes, respond to those outcomes in the exact same manner...and on and on it goes. Therefore, we are all different, to some degree or another.
The question then isn't, "are we different?" but rather, "what are we going to do with our differences?" I can choose to take on the adversarial tone of "we are different" and pick apart everyone that is different than me. This is incredibly easy to do because, well, everyone is different than me. Some will be more similar - if this is the path I take these will probably be my friends - however at some level, they are still different. They will not say, think & do everything exactly as I would. Who they are, what they have experienced, what is important to them, etc. will not allow them to do everything exactly as I. Or I can take a different path...I can choose to take on the learning, compassionate, empathetic tone of "we are different, certainly there is something I can learn from them." The differences will still exist, this neither you nor I can change, however the lens at which I look at these differences is completely different. Instead of being friends with those most similar to me I can be friends with everyone. Instead of picking others apart - the easy road - I can do the heavy lifting of learning, growing & becoming a better person because of every person that is in my life. It is the view of not trying to change everyone else but rather to change myself. This I control, others I do not.
I took this conviction of my Spirit seriously this week, I am still pondering the wisdom given me. Accordingly, I put several quotes on Twitter & Facebook this week about understanding, about differences. I thought I would share a few with you as well.
"Before you assume, learn. Before you judge, understand. Before you hurt, feel. Before you say, think." - Unknown
"Maturity is not when we start speaking big things...it is when we start understanding small things." - Unknown
"Never judge someone by the opinion of others." - Unknown
"It's a child's gift that will change the world. Not the judgment of others." - Tom Krause
"Don't judge someone's choices without first knowing their reasons." - Unknown
"Don't compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about." - Anil Sinha
"Your assumptions are your windows to the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or light won't come in." - Isaac Asimov
"You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions." - Denis Waitley
So the question, the challenge, this week Friends is "What will you do with your differences?"
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, an awesome week and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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