Purpose

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Sunday morning!

Last weekend the Haslam family went to watch "Race" which is a movie about Jesse Owens, the incredible human being who was also a remarkable Olympic athlete. A couple of things:

1. Remember last week when I asked what makes people do things like Dr. Sidney C. Walker and Mother Teresa? How come some people, no matter the situation, circumstances, norms, etc., follow the convictions of their hearts, to do what is right, no matter the consequences? Have you, or had you, ever heard of Luz Long? I hadn't. Let me tell you about Luz Long through an excerpt taken from "Jesse Owens and Luz Long - Olympic Heroes (1936)" which I found on sportsfeelgoodstories.com.

The following day, Owens was nearly out of the long jump competition after qualifying began. He fouled on his first two jumps. One of the jumps was a practice run, but officials counted it as an attempt. With just one jump remaining, Luz Long, a German long jumper who was Owens' toughest competition, introduced himself. Long had the blond hair, blue-eyed look that Hitler so favored, yet Long didn't buy into the "master race" propaganda that Hitler espoused. He offered a suggestion to Owens. To play it safe, make your mark several inches before the takeoff board and jump from there. Owens used the advice and qualified on his last jump.

 

Later that afternoon, Long's fifth jump matched Owens' 25-10 in the finals. But Owens won the gold medal with a final jump of 26-5 1/2 on his last jump. The first to congratulate Owens was Long.

 

"It took a lot of courage for him to befriend me in front of Hitler," Owens said. "You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn't be a plating on the 24-karat friendship I felt for Luz Long at that moment. Hitler must have gone crazy watching us embrace. The sad part of the story is I never saw Long again. He was killed in World War II."

Another example of a great human being doing what is right, following the personal convictions of his heart & spirit, regardless the personal cost. I pray Friends that you and I too will have the strength & courage to follow our convictions.

2. I had no idea about the absolute ridiculous pressures Jesse Owens faced as he prepared for the Olympics. Yes, I knew about racism and competing in front of Hitler. I did not know about the poverty, hopes of a family, the pressure from different organizations to not compete, etc. As I was watching all of this unfold, and a man who just wanted to pursue his dream of running, I kept thinking, "what is going to be the moment? Where is the clarity going to come from?" The moment finally came in a conversation Jesse had with his wife. He was torn and struggling with all these different things. Should he go to the Olympics? What are the ramifications of going? What are the ramifications of not going? He wakes up his wife and begins talking to her. She tells him she can not tell him what to do. He shares his thoughts with her. She then says something to the effect of, "Stop thinking, that is not what you are good at. Running is what you are good at." I am sorry, I am not getting the quote exactly right however you get the point. She was not judging Jesse's intelligence as he was quite clearly a very intelligent man. No, what she was talking about was his purpose, what he had been created to do. With this insight, inspiration, Jesse went out and pursued his purpose with amazing results.

Now you might be thinking, "Kevin, all he did was run. How can that be fulfilling his purpose?" Let me ask you this, what more could Jesse Owens have done to make a powerful statement to not only Hitler, but in fact to the entire world? He could have talked & talked & talked and he wouldn't have had a fraction of the impact. In being and doing who he was and what he was created to do to the very best of his ability he preached a sermon which reverberates to this very day. You see, it is you and I that try to attach significance to different purposes. In reality, God uses every purpose, no matter what it is, to accomplish great things. If only we will be obedient to our calling, our purpose.

This is my heart, my appeal, to all of us today - that we would pursue our God-given purpose to the very best of our ability every day of our lives. Let us not get caught up in the noise, the distractions of this life but rather pursue, in great faith and hope, the talents, gifts & abilities that God has given us and then let Him do the rest.

I want to share with you what Derek Carr, the Quarterback for the Oakland Raiders, shared on Facebook:

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." Stay grounded in working hard to steward what He HAS given you, instead of working hard to earn what He WILL give you. You've already received the gift. Giving your best every day is how you honor the gift He's given you.

And finally, I would like to share a scripture with you:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12: 1 - 2 (my emphasis)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, enjoy the rest of your weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

My Take & A Little More

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day gets ready to dawn!

This week I would like to share my perspective on the QB for the Carolina Panthers, Cam Newton, and a little more...

During this past, MVP, season Cam has been questioned & ridiculed about the way he acts while playing football. Since the Panthers Super Bowl loss, he has been questioned & ridiculed about how he acted during his post-game press conference. Here is what I see:

1. I fell in love with the way Cam Newton plays the game of football when he was at Auburn. Gehrig, my now 16-year old son, and I were watching the game. Cam ran the ball and got tackled - I don't remember where they were on the field, how long the run was, etc. As the camera zoomed in on Cam all you could see was this huge smile on his face. Cam was playing the game of football with joy.

When I watch Cam play, "dab," act silly with his teammates, I see a person doing what they are doing with great joy. And I don't get what all the angst is about. I might be wrong here or maybe I just haven't seen it much, however I don't see him getting up in an opponents face, trying to humiliate an opponent, etc. No, I see him simply playing with joy. In fact, I have seen opponents try to get in his face, not let him have a football so he can give it to a little kid after a touchdown and Cam's reaction? He ignores them, as if they do not exist.

What I see with Cam is what I want my boys, and my Beautiful Bride & I, to do in our lives - to love passionately what we do,  to do what we do with great joy and not put others down in an attempt to elevate ourselves. I don't understand how or why this is offensive to some however I am not going to be cynical or judgmental, to try to guess why. I am simply grateful for the example and will humbly respect everyone's right to have their opinion.

2. Since the Super Bowl Cam has received a great deal of criticism for the way he conducted himself during the post-game press conference. He didn't yell, scream, cuss, cry, shift blame, etc. He was quiet, sullen and didn't talk real long.

How many of us have had a microphone put in our face about 10 minutes after suffering our greatest professional disappointment? I know I haven't. I don't know how I would act, what I would say or do.

The thing that strikes me is what do we want our athletes - or any person who we stick a microphone in front of after a great disappointment - to do? What do we want them to say? How do we want them to act? Here is a great thought for us; maybe it isn't about me & you...the viewer/listener. Did Cam act the way I wanted him to act? Say what I wanted him to say? Do what I wanted him to do? I don't know because I honestly don't know how I wanted him to act, what I wanted him to say or what I wanted him to do. My heart was filled with compassion - as a former student-athlete & coach understanding the tremendous amount of work, effort & sacrifice that goes into a football season, and the profound disappointment that comes with a loss, let alone the Super Bowl. My expectations were not based on me, they were formed out of care and concern for another human being who just happens to be a phenomenal athlete.

Perhaps this is the problem, we want to make everything about us, individually, when in reality the value in life is not found in serving ourselves but others. How different would things be if we appreciated someone playing a game - think about those last 3 words - with great joy instead of taking it, somehow, as an attack on our self-worth? How different would things be if instead of expecting everyone to live up to our expectations, we tried to understand - respect & genuinely care about - how another person is doing? I think things might be a little different...

Along the same lines, the Monday after the Super Bowl, some of my colleagues and I were talking about the Super Bowl, pre-game, commercials, etc. One of my colleagues, who does not like Tom Brady - full disclosure here, I DO like Tom Brady, was reveling in the fact that the Broncos fans in attendance at the Super Bowl booed Tom Brady when all of the former Super Bowl MVP's were announced. She said, "That's what happens when you are a cheater." After thinking for a few moments, I calmly said, "Perhaps it is more a reflection of the Broncos fans than it is of Tom Brady."

It is so easy to criticize, be offended, tell someone else what they should say, think or do, etc. The higher road, much more difficult and far less traveled, is to be compassionate, to seek to understand instead of to be understood and to realize that everything doesn't have to be, isn't, about you & me, individually. This is the road I pray we will take. Oh, I fail at it far more often than I would like to admit however right now it is only 4:38 a.m. and I haven't goofed it up yet today! :)

Here is a little more...

Have you ever heard of Dr. Sidney C. Walker? I hadn't either. A week ago I had the privilege of meeting his daughter. She handed me a book titled, "The Good Doctor," written by one of his former patients and containing several testimonies from other former patients. Let me give you the quick breakdown - Dr. Walker graduated from medical school in the late 1920's (sorry, I can't remember the specific year). In 1940 he opened up a clinic in Hempstead, TX. At Dr. Walker's clinic there were no appointments - it was first come, first served. You were seen by Dr. Walker in the order you arrived at his office. He did not care who you were, or your skin color. This was not how things were typically done at that time. To put things in perspective for you, according to the book, the last recorded lynching in the state of Texas occurred in 1947...7 years after Dr. Walker opened his clinic.

It is so powerful, and emotional, to read testimony after testimony of people who Dr. Walker served. The woman who was getting a physical before going to college and Dr. Walker told her the fee was to get her degree. The woman who pleaded with Dr. Walker to go to the police station and make the officers stop beating her son - after taking the woman home, he did and then bandaged the man's wounds. The stories go on and on - of a man who saw a person, not a color. A man who would do anything for anyone. The period speaks volumes.

What makes a man, any person, do the things that Dr. Walker did? To listen to the inner convictions as opposed to the societal norms? I asked his daughter why he was the way he was and she said she did not know. What makes a Mother Teresa go to Calcutta and serve the indigent? What makes people do these things?

As I have thought about this several times over the course of the past week I have come to this conclusion; I think we all have, or have the capacity to have, these convictions. It is just that some of us answer the call of conviction and others bury those convictions and answer the call of society, of fear, or whatever. My hope and prayer for us Friends is that we will not muffle those convictions. That we will have eyes to see the needs, hearts to care, faith to act, and the courage to do these things day after day.

I want to end with a great quote that I came across this week:

"You can find Calcutta anywhere in the world. You only need two eyes to see. Everywhere in the world there are people that are not loved, people that are not wanted or desired, people that no one will help, people that are pushed away or forgotten. And this is the greatest poverty." - Mother Teresa

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Do You See The Person?

Happy Friday friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday on the Texas Gulf Coast! What is happiness? Joy? A week on the road, an early Friday morning flight home, running to Landry's elementary school for a Valentine's Party, a lunch date with my Beautiful Bride, hammering out a Happy Friday and then going to Gehrig's baseball game! Yes, these things bring great happiness & joy to my heart!!! :)

Last week our Pastor preached a sermon on loving others. He posed the question; who is better at loving others - the (self)righteous or the sinner? The scripture he read is Luke 7 beginning with 36. The title of the section in most Bibles is, "Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman." Verse 44 says, "Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair." The Pastor then circled back to the "Do you see this woman?"

It was a profound moment for me. The woman was in Simon's house. Simon knew she was a woman "who lived a sinful life." Jesus then asks him, "Do you see this woman?" You see, Simon saw and knew the sin...Did he see the woman?

I thought a lot about this question/thought this week. We are really good at identifying the sin, the failure, the struggle, the challenge however do we take the time to see the person? Seeing or finding the fault is easy, taking the time to see the person - to really see them for who they are - takes work, a lot of work - and love, compassion, mercy & grace. I don't want to just see the sin, to discount anyone for their faults & failures. I want to see the person, to value the person, to demonstrate the love, compassion, mercy & grace that I would like to have demonstrated to me, and you.

This can, will, take a lot of intentional effort on our part. Again, it is easy to see the sin, failure, fault, struggle or challenge. We aren't however looking for easy! We are mining gold - the value, meaning & purpose of everyone's life - no matter the amount of dirt & debris life has piled upon the precious heart & spirit within the person. It is also not easy because hurting people hurt people and there are a whole lot of hurting people in this world. People will be mean, hurtful and they will say & do horrible things. Will we stop with seeing these things or will we challenge ourselves to go deeper, to see the person, not just the act? We are implored to go deeper, to see the person...it is the only way we can truly love them.

So this is my challenge for us this week Friends, to see the person, not just the sin. It will take a pure-heart of love, compassion, mercy & grace. It will take a lot of work - prayer, self-control and intentional thought & action. Let us not be guilty of judging others Friends, let us love them, regardless of their sins just as we want to be loved, regardless of ours. Let us see the person...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Also, if anyone would like a free copy of my book, "Seven Steps in Determining Your Influence," please email me at the address above and I will email you a free copy.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

And Then What?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday!

I live in a house with 3 boys between the ages of 10 and 19-years old. There is great, great joy in my life, what each of these Tender Warriors brings to me. I am truly blessed...I fully recognize and appreciate this fact.

It also brings along with it a near constant barrage of threats, challenges, trying to establish the pecking order, competitions, etc. Sometimes I feel like I should be issued a referee shirt & whistle as soon as I walk in the door! Stop laughing, I am serious! :)

The other morning as my Beautiful Bride and I were driving to workout this whole idea was weighing heavy on my heart. Not just our boys with their fighting & bickering but with what we witness in the workplace & in society in general. I explained all this to Kath and I said, "OK, so let's say we convince someone that they are dumb, stupid, horrible at [fill in the blank], a certain failure, etc. Then what? What do we do then? What is our next step?" This is what I want to talk about briefly this morning...the "and then what?"

So let's say you and I have been "successful" - using this term extremely loosely here! - and convinced the other person that they are all the bad things I have said they are in my mind, how I have treated them and now, I have finally convinced 'em. They now truly believe that they are dumb, stupid and/or horrible at [whatever it is]...you and I have finally "won."

• So now, due to my "great work" and perseverance, there is another broken soul, broken spirit in this world. There is perhaps someone who will now give up on their hopes, goals & dreams because I have convinced them that they are really worthless and that their life has no meaning. Had I considered this cost, and all their consequences, as I so fully dug my heals in the sand to prove my point?
• And let's be explicitly clear on this point; tearing someone else down, convincing them of their faults, failures, inadequacies will never, ever, ever build us up! Never! Rendering another person worthless does not make you or I more worthy. It just means that we now have another broken spirit who will have to fight fears and failures, just like you and me, as they strive to pursue their hopes, goals & dreams.

It is all pretty sobering when you think about it. What are we trying to accomplish? What are we fighting for anyways? Do we really think & believe that if we can just convince the other person of how flawed they are we have somehow accomplished something? Did we even think & believe?!

I think there is a two-way go here:
1. If we are trying to tear someone else down, convince them of these things, we don't really care about the "and then what?" We are simply trying to win the fight/argument. Winning the fight or argument however doesn't make us a winner and it certainly doesn't mean we are right. I really think it is a heart issue. If I genuinely care about the other person and want to make the situation/relationship better, I will focus on the issues - you know, those faults & failures that we ALL have. I will work with them, valuing them as person, to resolve the issues to improve the situation/relationship without attacking them as a person. If I don't value or care about them as a person...well, all I want to do is "win." It doesn't matter that they have people that love them, that count on them. It doesn't matter that, just like you and me, their life has value, meaning & purpose. It does not matter that their lives will influence every other life that they come into contact with just as ours do. No, none of this matters. The goal is simply to convince them that I am right, that they are the horrible thing I am trying desperately to convince them that they are and then...there is no and then.

2. Please guard your precious spirit and don't forget the first point. When anyone comes at us with a critical point, we would be wise to listen to what they are telling us. We are wise as well to give it some thought. Is the point valid? Does it make sense? Is there in fact something that we are doing wrong that we can and should correct? It is important here Friends that we are honest with ourselves, that we are pure-hearted in assessing the feedback we have received. If the point is valid you & I haven't suddenly become failures...we simply have the opportunity to learn, grown and become better. If however the feedback is not valid, we need to dismiss it and not let it take root in our hearts. The same litmus test I proposed in the first point applies here; where is the persons heart? Are they valuing you as a person and trying to make the situation/relationship better? Are they attacking you personally, jumping wildly from one situation to another, simply trying to prove their point(s)? Sadly there are people, too many...1 is too many, who care nothing about you or me, who simply want to hurt and tear others down. Remember, "hurting people hurt people." These people, while we will always show them love & respect, do not belong in our lives.

I want to wrap this up with several thoughts/points:
1. We all have faults, failures, challenges, etc. We also all have strengths, successes, things we are really good at, etc.
2. A mistake, problem or challenge does not make any of us a failure.
3. Everyone's life has value, meaning & purpose...regardless of whether they, we, are actually pursuing it or not.
4. Tearing someone else down never builds us up. The thrill of winning the argument/fight will soon fade...and then what?
5. Before giving anyone feedback, let us first measure our own hearts first. Where are they at? Are we trying to improve the situation/relationship or are we simply trying to tear the other person down?
6. Answer this question; what are you fighting for? If you achieve "victory," what does that look like?
7. Let's fight FOR people, FOR relationships.
8. Not everyone should be in your life. We should not listen to the words everyone speaks into our lives. I am not saying they are bad people, I am simply saying they are bad for you. Again, it is a heart thing; where is their heart.?Do they genuinely care about you? Are they genuinely trying to make the situation/relationship better? If the answer is yes, they belong in your life. If the answer is no, they do not belong in your life.
9. Just because we don't like what someone has to say doesn't mean they are wrong. Again, where is their heart? Some of the people who absolutely, genuinely love you the most will tell you the things you don't want to hear...at least we hope so!
10. There is great wisdom in Romans 12:18 (NIV); "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." It's a heart issue - you can choose to love, value & care. It's also an acknowledgement that you and I can only control our own hearts - as far as it depends on you.

I also want to let you all know that I have written a book, "Seven Steps in Determining Your Influence," which I am giving away. If you would like me to email you a manuscript of the book please email me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com and I will send you a copy. The only thing I ask from you is that you use whatever useful information you can glean from the book to help other people. You are more than welcome to share it and give it away.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev