The Doors Locked?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day is about to dawn!

On Monday afternoon I drove from Texas to Louisiana for a week of meetings. Near the end of the first leg of my trip to Shreveport, somewhere on Highway 79 between Bethany, TX and Greenwood, LA, I was half listening when the person on the radio said something that really caught my attention. I apologize; I do not know what radio station I was listening to or who the person was however the message was very profound to me. Please know the example did not originate with me however I do want to share it with you this morning.

Do you lock the door to your house/apartment? The answer for the vast majority of us is yes. We would never think of going to bed at night or to leave during the day without locking the door. And, some of us even lock the doors when we are home and awake. Why do we do this? The simple answer is because we want to protect our families and our possessions. We don't want someone coming in that will hurt us or our families or who will steal the things we have. Pretty simple concept to understand and a pretty logical step for us to take.

So here is the challenge; are you & I locking the doors to our hearts, our spirits & our minds? To those of the precious families we cherish? While we are very committed to locking the physical door of the house, we don't always - some perhaps never - do such a good job of locking the doors and keep the bad things out of our hearts, our spirits & our minds. And if we are privileged to be the parent of one under our care, of the hearts, spirits & minds of those who have been entrusted to us.

There are attacks that come at us from everywhere - the TV, the computer, the radio, books, magazines and perhaps even the "friends" we allow into our homes. Please think about this for a moment Friends. Your family is all inside your home, the door is locked...everyone safe & secure, right? What is your son watching on TV? Who is your daughter talking to in a chat room or what is your wife watching on the computer? What is your husband reading? Are these things that are positive, life giving, used to build one up or are they negative, death producing, used to tear one down? And oh how we love to justify things! We tell ourselves we can watch, read, hear, etc. anything and we will be fine, because, well, we are different. We won't become like "those" people. Do we really think we can watch inappropriate sexual relationships, talk negatively about others, listen to things or people who glorify things not consistent with our beliefs and think it will have no impact in our lives? While they are not the murderer or robber knocking on our physical door telling us they are here to kill us or to steal from us, the things that are poured into our hearts, spirits & minds - ironically, while we sit inside our "secure" homes - are killing families and robbing us of joy & peace.

There are three quotes that come to mind that I would like to respectfully ask you to ponder.

 

"What is in the well always comes up in the bucket." - Ken Whitten

The "water" that you & I use to fill our wells (hearts. spirits & minds) is what is going to come  up in the bucket (thoughts, words, actions). Just as it is impossible to pour a soda into a glass and expect to drink water from that glass, it is impossible to pour negativity & death producing things into our hearts, spirits & minds and expected positive, life producing thoughts, words & actions to follow.

"It is a slow fade/as black & white turns to grey." - a portion of the lyrics to Its A Slow Fade by Casting Crowns

Do we really think the guy who has lost his marriage, family, job, etc. sat down one day and said, "I am going to become addicted to porn?" Or that the girl sat down one day and said, "I am going to become addicted to drugs?" No, it was just one click on a picture that was a little questionable but hey, he can control it. And then it was a click on a picture that showed, did a little more. And then, in a relatively short period of time, he is way further down the road than he ever thought he would go. It is a slow fade. A door left unlocked, then opened a little more, then a little more...

 

"If you don't want to slip, don't go to slippery places." - Unknown

When I first heard this when I was in my early 20's it was such a profound thought to me. Please think about it; can you imagine saying to your family, "Hey, I think it will be alright if we sleep with doors of the house left open tonight?" It sounds ridiculous, right? You are like, "Kev, that is such a stupid example." Really? Isn't going to a website you shouldn't the equivalent of sleeping with the doors open, you know, for just one night?

So Friends, are we locking the doors of our hearts, spirits & minds? Just as we have to be intentional about locking the physical doors of our homes, we need to be equally - perhaps more - vigilant in locking the doors of the heart, spirit & mind.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for your or your families. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Humanity, Not Perfection

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having had a great weekend on this beautiful Sunday evening.

What a last few days it has been! We saw the end to a wonderful baseball season, our youngest Tender Warrior turned 11-years old and we had an event for the ages at my work. It has been wonderful, exhilarating & exhausting! Truly blessed beyond measure...

This evening I want to share a couple of quotes with you that I shared on Twitter this week and expand on each briefly.

"Your message, your ministry, your influence is built from your flaws. People relate to HUMANITY...not to perfection." - Mandy Hale

What a beautiful and, if we allow it, liberating quote. A few thoughts that quickly come to mind:

1. You & I don't have to be perfect and in fact, we never will be. This doesn't mean we don't strive to reach our potential or to do the very best we can at whatever task we are given...the expectation of these things is in fact Biblical. There is a big difference however between the expectation of perfection and the expectation of doing the very best we can. When we hold ourselves accountable to an unrealistic expectation we set ourselves up for failure and then we deal with all the baggage that comes along with this perceived failure. Let us strive not for perfection but the greatness that God has placed within us.

2. We, as human beings, are really good at trying to hide our flaws. However it is our flaws that people relate to and understand. What if we didn't work so hard to hide our flaws but openly admit them, apologize when/where necessary and strive to become better...not perfect? I believe our message, ministry & influence would be much greater.

3. It is really a sick, funny cycle. I am not perfect however I pretend to be. I then look at you and pick apart your imperfections. You in turn aren't perfect either - I know this because I am not though I expect you to be though I know I can't be - and you, while hiding your imperfections point to my imperfections. So we have a whole lot of imperfect people running around pointing out the imperfections in others while going to extraordinary measures to hide our own imperfections. And on and on it goes!! It is absolutely crazy!! What if today is the day that you & I stopped all the pretending & expecting? What if today you & I decided that we were no longer going to try to hide our imperfections but rather admit them, deal with them and grow through them? And what if today we also decided to stop trying to hold others to this impossible standard? What if today we just decided to love people for who they are, where they are? Will we be made fun of, ridiculed, called naïve? Perhaps. However what happens now when we play the other game? The same thing. AND most importantly, how do our hearts feel now? I know mine doesn't feel so good when I fail to meet perfection or when I have torn apart another, either in the words of my mind or the words of my mouth.

4. Perhaps if our message, ministry & influence aren't what we hope or wish they would be, we should start by embracing who we are, even the messy stuff, and use this as the platform to pour into the lives of others. As Mandy Hale stated perfectly, "People relate to humanity, not perfection."

"When leaders are confident in their abilities & trust God for the outcome, they are comfortable with the chinks in their armor." - Brad Lomenick

I absolutely love this quote! It speaks to my heart. And oh yes Friends, this quote ties right back to the first one.

1. So play it out a step further. And if we are confident in our abilities, trust God for the outcome & are comfortable with the chinks in our armor, we don't hide them. We are pure, true, authentic...chinks in the armor & all.

2. The "trust God for the outcome," part speaks GREATLY to my heart. It is when I feel inadequate, when I start trying to play or be God, that the real troubles start. I am not asked or expected to be perfect, control all outcomes, etc. I am asked to pursue the Lord my God with all my heart and to work as though I am working for the Lord and not for man. Period. I do those things, I can then trust God to do all the things He has promised to do.

3. It is when I do these two things, trust the Lord & believe in the abilities that He has given me, that I am completely comfortable with who I am. Please notice that it does start with me - trusting God and believing in who He has made me to be. There is nothing anything can say or do to prevent these two things from happening...it is a deliberate choice I will make. You can make the same two choices Friends.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful week & please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Don't Wait

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as this beautiful new Friday dawns!

Oh my goodness! A 2nd round playoff game, an hour drive from home with a 30 minute rain delay thrown in makes for a very late night...and a very early Friday morning!!! Blurry Friday anyone!?!? :)

About 6 weeks ago I wrote Happy Friday about our precious friends, Bobby & Crystal. Crystal had passed away suddenly at the age of 32. Over these past 6 weeks Bobby & I have texted regularly, sharing scriptures, quotes, thoughts, love & encouragement. A few weeks ago I took a business trip to Arizona and got to spend some time with Bobby. A few days before my trip I really had this conviction in my Spirit...give Bobby the platform to share whatever is on his heart through Happy Friday. I prayed about it, spoke with my Beautiful Bride about it & asked her to pray as well and finally, I asked Bobby if he would be interested in doing so when I saw him. An awesome smile crossed his face when I asked him. We agreed he would think about it, pray about it & then let me know. He got back to me a few days later saying he wanted to write a Happy Friday. I told him to pick the Friday, email me the message & I would simply copy & paste it as the Happy Friday. This morning my Friends is that Friday. Below is Bobby's completely unedited Happy Friday.

Shine Bright Crystal! Your great Tender Warrior is doing good! He wrote a great message and I know you are proud of him! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is every anything I can do for you or your precious families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend & please cherish your precious families.

Kevin

What are we waiting for? We always read, hear, or say the phrase, “live everyday like it’s your last”. But is this something that we actually do? It is more real to me now more than ever that tomorrow is not promised. For those of you who may not know, my wife of 11 years, Crystal, unexpectedly passed away almost 6 weeks ago. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to be here “tomorrow”. When something like that happens, you start looking deep inside your soul. Think things you may have never thought. Ask questions in your head and to God that have never crossed your mind before. It’s a very interesting situation, one that’s hard to explain, one that – unless you’ve experienced it – you have no idea what it feels like. You look at life through a different lens. YOU are not promised tomorrow (neither is the person next to you right now). Let this sink into you for a moment.

Live everyday like it’s your last. I always knew that phrase or so I thought. Now not only do I know that phrase, I feel that phrase. I think it’s one of those phrases we hear and it may get us pumped for a minute or two but then minutes after that we slump back into our regular routine of living and thinking. But what if this is something that we took a little more serious each and every day? It was something that we read when we woke up or something that reminded us during our busy days. Now, please don’t think I’m talking about, go crazy and spend all of your money and do crazy stuff because tomorrow isn’t promised. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about making an impact, an imprint on someones life each and every day. What if something popped up on our phones that read, “make an impact on someone right now!” One of my favorite things about my late wife, Crystal, was the impact she made on people. From a simple smile, that may brighten someones day, to a talk with someone or a text/email to someone…encouraging them, inspiring them, praying for them. She did this ALL of the time. Everyday. Didn’t matter if she wasn’t feeling well, if she was in a bad mood that day, or if she wasn’t on her “A game” that day. That was just her. It was in her DNA. If she felt it, she did it. What if we were more like that today. If you feel like you should make a phone call, send an email, a text, etc. to someone about something, than do it today! Sure it’s easy to say, “I’ll do it tomorrow or when I have time because I’m too busy”. Honestly if it’s something that you feel you should do, make time! Because if we think about it, “being too busy” is just an excuse. People in your life are more important than your work or your activities. Let’s start making a positive impact on people. Today. Tomorrow. Every single day. Think about the impact we could make on the lives around us. People we work with, friends on social media, people we run into at the gas station or grocery store. Again, I’m not saying we need to learn everything about the gentleman putting our groceries in a bag…it could be as simple as a smile or a “good morning!” Something that makes someone smile. Something to brighten someones day. Something that brings a little light into this dark and heavy world. We aren’t promised tomorrow so let me encourage you to do something everyday for the next 30 days and see how it turns out.

What if we thought of this as a step further and the people we impacted in turn impacted others in their lives. The ripple effect. Think of how much better and brighter this world could be. I’m not saying bad things wouldn’t be happening but what I am saying is that as dark as this world may seem and can be that the light will always be shining through.

A Shift...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning! On the Texas Gulf Coast there is not a cloud in the sky, the sun seems unusually bright this morning, there is a slight cool in the air as we head to the upper 80's today and hey, it's the first round of the Texas High School Baseball Playoffs...doesn't get much better! :)

This week I took a quick business trip to Arizona. I was on the first flight out on Tuesday morning. As my flight was coming in o Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport I looked out the window with a great view of the rush hour traffic. I started laughing out loud. When I lived there I used to think the Phoenix Metro rush hour traffic was the worst...then I moved to the Houston area!!!

Have you ever been to or driven through Houston? If so, you know what I am talking about!!! The really, really big problem with Houston traffic - other than the perpetual construction, the people who think they are in some kind of race, people who don't realize the pedal just to the left of the gas works also, etc. - is there is not a "rush hour." I have seen traffic bumper to bumper, barely crawling along at all hours of the day & night. I have left for events an hour early and shown up 30 minutes late and I have left for events an hour and a half early and show up 45 minutes early. Yes, when I lived in Arizona, I just knew that the Phoenix traffic was the worst ever. Now that I live in the Houston area I know, KNOW!, that the Houston traffic is the worst traffic ever (as I gently nod & wink at my friends in the Los Angeles area)! :)

When Googling the word "perspective," I find the following definition:

- A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view

This is exactly what I am talking about, feeling. When I lived in Phoenix I had an attitude about the traffic, thought it was the worst ever, because this is all I got to see. Thanks to my fine friends in Texas, they showed me another point of view.

I am a post-it note kinda guy. I have post-it notes all around my office. Scriptures. Quotes. Thoughts. Things I want to remember. One in particular really challenges my Spirit and I find my eyes locking in on it at least once a week. It says:

"Remember, there is always another perspective."

When I wrote it I took the time to draw a little smiley face. It's as though my Spirit knew what a challenge this is, would be and wanted to offer me a little encouragement. :)

I have thought about and pondered perspective a lot since Tuesday morning...most times smiling. Please stop and think for a moment; how many problems in our lives are caused by our perspective and the perspective of the other person or group of people we are having an issue/problem/challenge with? Let me use my three Tender Warriors, who I absolutely love & adore, and I as an example. When I communicate with them I am sharing the perspective of a 48-year old man whose parents were divorced when he was a junior in high school, who did not have a close relationship with his father, who played football, basketball & baseball as a kid, who played college football, has two degrees, married his High School Sweetheart, has had a career in college athletics & development/fundraising, etc. AND, all the experiences, challenges, successes, that go along with each. Them? They are sharing their perspectives. The perspective of a 10, 16 & 20-year old, respectively. Do you see the train wreck coming? I however propose, hopefully offering you another perspective :), that it doesn't have to be that way. You see, the train wreck happens when I believe that my perspective is the right perspective and I am not willing to learn, or even listen to, another perspective. Ironically, from my perspective, I am right. And guess what? From my sons' perspective, they are right. If we each dig our heels in the sand, unwilling to  try to understand or listen to the other perspective, we stay at polar opposites. I am mindful that I just captured in one sentence, much of what is going on in our world today. The thing is, that is not the kind of relationship I want to have with my Beautiful Bride, sons, friends, co-workers or anyone for that matter. I have had times when I dug my heels in the sand, I know the outcome, I know how I felt and I don't like it. I have also had times when I simply valued the other person, sought to understand them and I know those outcomes - even if I didn't share their view, I know how I felt and I absolutely love it!

Bouncing around in my head is the fact that it is not that we have a perspective that is the problem but rather what we do with that perspective. If you are living & breathing, you have a perspective and so do I. The word that then comes to mind is "judge" or "judging." Googling this word gives me the following definition:

- form an opinion or conclusion about.

And there it is! From my view (perspective) I form an opinion, or draw a conclusion about (judge) traffic in Phoenix or Houston versus everywhere else. The fighting begins when I then judge (form an opinion) about you because you don't share my perspective. You are an idiot, dumb, lame (those are the nicer terms we hear) because you don't agree with me. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry at this point...

So my challenge for each of us is this, "Remember, there is always another perspective." Let us seek to understand others, to value them & their opinions and above all else, fight for our relationships and not in them.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebelcom.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev