I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning! On the Texas Gulf Coast there is not a cloud in the sky, the sun seems unusually bright this morning, there is a slight cool in the air as we head to the upper 80's today and hey, it's the first round of the Texas High School Baseball Playoffs...doesn't get much better! :)
This week I took a quick business trip to Arizona. I was on the first flight out on Tuesday morning. As my flight was coming in o Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport I looked out the window with a great view of the rush hour traffic. I started laughing out loud. When I lived there I used to think the Phoenix Metro rush hour traffic was the worst...then I moved to the Houston area!!!
Have you ever been to or driven through Houston? If so, you know what I am talking about!!! The really, really big problem with Houston traffic - other than the perpetual construction, the people who think they are in some kind of race, people who don't realize the pedal just to the left of the gas works also, etc. - is there is not a "rush hour." I have seen traffic bumper to bumper, barely crawling along at all hours of the day & night. I have left for events an hour early and shown up 30 minutes late and I have left for events an hour and a half early and show up 45 minutes early. Yes, when I lived in Arizona, I just knew that the Phoenix traffic was the worst ever. Now that I live in the Houston area I know, KNOW!, that the Houston traffic is the worst traffic ever (as I gently nod & wink at my friends in the Los Angeles area)! :)
When Googling the word "perspective," I find the following definition:
- A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view
This is exactly what I am talking about, feeling. When I lived in Phoenix I had an attitude about the traffic, thought it was the worst ever, because this is all I got to see. Thanks to my fine friends in Texas, they showed me another point of view.
I am a post-it note kinda guy. I have post-it notes all around my office. Scriptures. Quotes. Thoughts. Things I want to remember. One in particular really challenges my Spirit and I find my eyes locking in on it at least once a week. It says:
"Remember, there is always another perspective."
When I wrote it I took the time to draw a little smiley face. It's as though my Spirit knew what a challenge this is, would be and wanted to offer me a little encouragement. :)
I have thought about and pondered perspective a lot since Tuesday morning...most times smiling. Please stop and think for a moment; how many problems in our lives are caused by our perspective and the perspective of the other person or group of people we are having an issue/problem/challenge with? Let me use my three Tender Warriors, who I absolutely love & adore, and I as an example. When I communicate with them I am sharing the perspective of a 48-year old man whose parents were divorced when he was a junior in high school, who did not have a close relationship with his father, who played football, basketball & baseball as a kid, who played college football, has two degrees, married his High School Sweetheart, has had a career in college athletics & development/fundraising, etc. AND, all the experiences, challenges, successes, that go along with each. Them? They are sharing their perspectives. The perspective of a 10, 16 & 20-year old, respectively. Do you see the train wreck coming? I however propose, hopefully offering you another perspective :), that it doesn't have to be that way. You see, the train wreck happens when I believe that my perspective is the right perspective and I am not willing to learn, or even listen to, another perspective. Ironically, from my perspective, I am right. And guess what? From my sons' perspective, they are right. If we each dig our heels in the sand, unwilling to try to understand or listen to the other perspective, we stay at polar opposites. I am mindful that I just captured in one sentence, much of what is going on in our world today. The thing is, that is not the kind of relationship I want to have with my Beautiful Bride, sons, friends, co-workers or anyone for that matter. I have had times when I dug my heels in the sand, I know the outcome, I know how I felt and I don't like it. I have also had times when I simply valued the other person, sought to understand them and I know those outcomes - even if I didn't share their view, I know how I felt and I absolutely love it!
Bouncing around in my head is the fact that it is not that we have a perspective that is the problem but rather what we do with that perspective. If you are living & breathing, you have a perspective and so do I. The word that then comes to mind is "judge" or "judging." Googling this word gives me the following definition:
- form an opinion or conclusion about.
And there it is! From my view (perspective) I form an opinion, or draw a conclusion about (judge) traffic in Phoenix or Houston versus everywhere else. The fighting begins when I then judge (form an opinion) about you because you don't share my perspective. You are an idiot, dumb, lame (those are the nicer terms we hear) because you don't agree with me. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry at this point...
So my challenge for each of us is this, "Remember, there is always another perspective." Let us seek to understand others, to value them & their opinions and above all else, fight for our relationships and not in them.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebelcom.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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