I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as the beautiful new day dawns!
Well, God decided to use the Little Preacher to teach me another great lesson this week. He then used my Beautiful Bride to affirm the message...what a week! :)
This week is the first week of school for us here on the Texas Gulf Coast. Let me give you some perspective on the Little Preachers situation. When we moved here we moved into an apartment for 8 months - there are a TON of Happy Friday's in that experience! - and Landry went to the elementary school in the boundary we lived. We then bought and moved into a home in another boundary. With the Little Preacher only having one year left in elementary school, and because Kath serves in the district, the Principal graciously gave Landry an exception so he could remain at the same elementary school. So now that he is going into Jr. High/Middle School, he is going to the school in our boundary which means not only is he going to a new school, none of his friends from elementary school are going to the school he is because they are going to the Jr. High/Middle School in their boundary. It's like the Little Preacher has moved without moving!
So as our awesome summer wound down and we did things like register for class, go to orientation to find where lockers, classrooms, etc. are located the Little Preacher started saying things like, "what if I can't find my class?", "what if I forget my combination?", "I am kinda nervous", etc. Each time he would say these things my Beautiful Bride, my other two Tender Warriors and/or I would say something like "it will be fine", "you will do great", etc. Is that true? Absolutely! Is it what the Little Preacher needed? Or wanted? Perhaps in part however, as God showed me, I don't think it is the most important thing at that moment.
Do you get scared? Nervous? Anxious? Yeah, me too. It is where we go, what we do, at those times that determines the quality & quantity of the lives that we live. You see, when I told my Little Preacher "it will be fine" it was because I believe that God will lead, guide & direct his steps...and I had been praying for Him to do so for weeks. However Landry does not have the years of experience - that captures successes & failures - to lean on for this belief. He only has what he has lived, what he has known.
As I was thinking about and praying for Landry on Monday morning God really got a hold of my heart. I need to affirm the Little Preachers feelings - tell him I understand, that I would feel the exact same way - and then tell him how to successfully handle these feelings and emotions. You see, I was jumping to the "and then" part without letting him know it is o.k. to be scared, nervous & anxious. There is nothing wrong with him. He is 100% normal. Anybody would feel the exact same way. Because I was jumping to the "and then" part he was not the least bit interested, or perhaps capable, of doing the "and then." You see, who he is and what he was feeling had not been validated and without validation he did not feel free to move forward. Perhaps he felt something was wrong with him.
I couldn't wait to talk to my Little Preacher on Monday morning. I told him I had made a mistake. He listened intently. I told him that the things he was feeling about school are 100% normal. I told him I would be scared, nervous & anxious too. You could hear the sense of relief in his voice. I then told him that I knew it would be fine because I know God loves him and cares about him and that I have been praying, he has been praying, that God would lead, guide & direct him. He got it....and most importantly as a Dad, I got it.
A couple of days later my Beautiful Bride and I were sitting out on the back porch talking. She was sharing her heart with me. We have gone through some trials and she was sharing how she was feeling, how she had processed it, etc. And then my Spirit jumped and reminded me of the lesson I had learned a few days earlier. I told this Sweet Gift that I felt the exact same things she had felt and I then told her how I had found success in dealing with those feelings...it had everything to do with God and nothing to do with me! Her countenance softened and there was the sweetest look in her eyes.
As we Husbands, Wives, Dads & Moms go about our day and want to help those most dear to us, let's not jump so quick to the answer or the encouraging word. No, let's start with affirmation of the person and their feelings. Once they know that they are o.k. and that we truly love them for who they are - including those feelings, we will then have permission to help them solve problems and to encourage them.
I also want to share a quote with you that I came across this morning that I thought was pretty stinkin' awesome.
"If my life is fruitless, it doesn't matter who praises me, and if my life is fruitful, it doesn't matter who criticizes me." - Paul Bunyan
And so it is with you & I Friends! :)
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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