Keep It Simple & Go For It

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday afternoon. I also hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that you are looking forward with hopeful anticipation to the new year. :)

As we are a few days away from New Years Day, and the subsequent New Years Resolutions, I wanted to share a couple of thoughts this afternoon.

1. This isn't all that difficult, let's not make it that way... I am talking about relationships here. How many times do we complicate things because we are waiting for someone else to do something? Or the time is not right? Or we don't know what they are going to say? Or do? Or...

The excuses, reasons, justifications, etc. can go on and on. And where do they get us? Right about where we are right now. Perhaps we should try something different. I want to encourage you Friend to think about this; if you think about calling someone, call. Or if you think about sending them a text or stopping by to see them, text or go see them. Let's stop the "what if" game and listen to the leading of our own hearts.

A couple of days ago I was talking to one of my Tender Warriors and I asked if he had wished a friend Merry Christmas. He said "no." When I asked why not he said because she had not wished him a Merry Christmas. I then said, "I thought you were a leader." He just looked at me. I said, "If you were a leader it wouldn't matter what she does or does not do. You would wish her Merry Christmas because it is who you are." I think he got it...

Another conversation was with a different family member. When asking about an old friend of his he said he had intended to call him on Christmas but had forgotten to do so. He hasn't spoken to the friend in quite a while. It was then pointed out that he could still call the friend today, that it didn't have to be Christmas. It was like this was a revolutionary kinda thought...

Let's not over-complicate this life, our relationships. Let's lay down the pride, bitterness, anger, resentment, regret, sorrow, shame or whatever else it might be that is holding us back and make the call, go see the person, etc. I pray that we will all remember that we don't own the other persons action or reaction, we only own our own. If we will just answer to the call of our own spirit, stay true to it, everything else will take care of itself. This doesn't mean every person will respond the way we want them to respond however we will leave with a greater peace in our own spirits and this Sweet Friends, is priceless.

Another thing along this same line that my Beautiful Bride and I talked about just this morning, we gotta be intentional, especially relationally. Do you like getting calls, receiving emails or having someone stop by to see you? So does everyone else! And we love to receive handwritten notes - it says I really care about you. Please be intentional, especially with the ones closest to you. Take time to think about them - their wants, needs, hopes, fears - and take intentional action to let them know you love them, you care about them, that you are there for them, to encourage them. It's funny, we all want great relationships however are we really willing to invest in them, to pour selflessly into another person, to genuinely care about them and love on them where they are? This is the water & fertilizer to great relationships! We don't get what we want in this life, we get what we work for. That is why the saying is true; the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it is greener where you water it.

2. Let's go for it...whatever the hope, goal or dream, let's make 2018 the year that we truly pursue it! I get worry, fear, uncertainty...and I get being in the exact same spot! The only way things are going to change is if we change the things we think, say & do. 

Now, I am not talking pie in the sky type thinking and anything can happen stuff here. I am talking about the hopes, goals & dreams that are buried in the deepest recesses of your heart. The things that you have always been good at and wanted to do however have not taken steps to do so. I am talking about the person who has always been good at, and enjoyed, writing but hasn't written the book they dreamed of writing. Or the person who is good at painting or drawing who hasn't painted or drawn in years. Or perhaps it is a genuine heart you have for something - with the subsequent talents, gifts & abilities to successfully make a difference - however you haven't taken steps or done anything to make it happen. These are the one's I am referring to here... In 2018, let's lay down the excuses and let's pursue the calling of our own spirits.

This certainly won't be easy. We are going to need to thoughtfully consider where we gain our strength. The battle is sure to be a good one. If we are truly going to pursue the greatness within us, held in the hopes, goals & dreams of our heart, we are going to have to have great perseverance & strength. It will be perseverance & strength greater than anything another person or society as a whole can give to you or me. For me I will place my hope in the Lord and seek His face daily as I pursue my greatness.

The one thing I have determined; I will not sit here at this computer in another year and tell you that I did not go for my hopes, goals & dreams. I will not tell you that I let worry or fear keep me from taking a step into the unknown. I don't know what life will look like 365 days from today but I know that I will live each day, 365 times over, to the very best of my ability, seeking God's leading in my life and I will be at peace with whatever results my life brings.

Finally, I want to share a couple of quotes with you to end this last Happy Friday of 2017.

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

"The Core of the Warriors Soul ~ A belief strong enough both to live for and to die for." - Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, Happy New Year and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn! 3 days left until Christmas... :)

You know what my favorite Christmas memory as a child is? I was 5 or 6 years old. My Nano & Grandpa came over to stay the night at our house on Christmas Eve. My Grandpa slept in my room with me on a lawn chair. When we went to bed we laid there talking. I can still see the glow of the Christmas lights shining through my bedroom window. I can still hear his voice & his laugh. I can still feel his presence that night more than 40 years ago...and my heart smiles.

Last week we celebrated Christmas with my work family. I asked the same question sitting at the table - "What is your favorite Christmas memory as a child?" - and we all went around and answered. Every single person talked about family, friends and all being together. Nobody talked about the latest, greatest toy or some gift that they had hoped for all year long. No, what every single person talked about was the gifts around the tree, not those under the tree.

Friends, the greatest gift you can give anyone this Christmas is you. The authentic, fully present you! Yes, I know...the kids want [fill in the blank] and they just have to have it. I mean, they really "need" it. Ya, I hear the same stuff...and so did my parents...and in fact parents have heard it for generations. The reality is what everyone really wants, and needs, is you & me. To have conversations (not texts, snap chats, tweets, etc.), to really get to know one another, to really connect with each other...yes, this is the greatest gift you or I can give anyone. 

So please, set down the phone, focus on today and the people you are blessed to be with today...and then make the same choice tomorrow. If you will string several of these days together as you gather with family & friends over the next week I promise you that you will be the answer to the question, "What is your favorite Christmas memory?" in 40 years! :)

I also feel a conviction to say this; some will jump up and down saying the greatest gift you can give is Jesus. Or the salvation that comes from accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior. Here is the thing; Jesus is not yours to give and neither is salvation - those both belong to God. You and I are not called to do the saving but to do the loving, the caring, the serving. And how do we show we love, we care and how do we serve? By being fully present! :) We can preach & preach at people or we can live the sermon. Guess which one will have the greater success rate?!?!

Merry Christmas to you & your families Friends!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

What Do You Believe?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day dawns!

This morning I want to touch on the front end of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" The things that we pour into our own hearts, minds & souls. It is these things that determine the influence we will have on every person we cross paths with this and every day.

What do you believe? I mean really believe to the depths of your soul. In researching this Happy Friday - yes, I actually do research for these! :) - I came across a blog post that captures the question perfectly. It is taken from the Single Dad Laughing blog and it was written by Dan Pearce on May 19, 2011. Here is the passage that gets to the heart of the question I am asking us this morning:

"'Dan, why do you believe what you believe?'

I answered that it was what I had been taught. I answered that I believed in it because it felt right. He replied, "Have you ever questioned it?" I told him I had. He then repeated his question. "Have you ever really questioned it?" I began to fidget uncomfortably. "I mean, have you ever really had the courage to learn how you might be wrong a the same time that you've worked so hard to prove yourself right? Have you ever really had the courage to accept the possibility that something else might actually be right?" I had to think for a minute. I told him I didn't know and that I didn't really need to because I was confident in my beliefs.

He looked at me and smiled. "Dan, would you bank everything you have on your beliefs?" I told him I thought I would. "Are you so sure of your beliefs that you would give your life for them?" He was very serious. I didn't answer. "Would you bet your son's life on your beliefs?" I didn't answer. "Would you lose everything, including the people you love most to stand behind your beliefs?" Again, I didn't answer.

Instead, I silently attempted to gauge my believes without showing my own sudden vulnerabilities. Would I give up everything when it actually came down to it? Would I die for my beliefs? Did I really believe what I believed that I believed? I finally looked at him and said, "No, I wouldn't."

His reply was simple, and I'll never forget it. "Then they're not really your beliefs. They're somebody else's beliefs. They're borrowed beliefs. And until you make them your own, you're living somebody else's life." I didn't have an answer. I didn't really want to go where he was taking me. I'd been avoiding it most of my life. He took advantage of my continued silence. "It doesn't matter what you believe, Dan. It matters how you believe and why you believe. And until you honestly, and I mean honestly question your beliefs, including how they might be both right and wrong, you can't truly claim those beliefs as your own.'"

Anyone else feel like they have been hit right between the eyes with a 2 x 4?!?! :)

One, make that two, things I would say...
1. I believe it does matter what you believe however I don't believe I have the right to tell you what you should/have to believe. God is a God of free will so who am I to think I have the right to tell you what you should/have to do? Your life journey is yours and mine is mine. As the saying goes, we all have to do our own living and dying.

2. I believe that we all do believe in something. We walk this belief out every day in where we go for strength, in the thoughts we have, the words we speak and the things we do. I don't believe it is a question of "Do you believe?" but rather a questions of "What do you believe?" Honestly...

The second thing I want to touch on is "Where do you go to get your strength?" It is directly tied back to the question of "What do you believe?" for what we believe will directly influence where we go to find strength when - not if, when - the storms of life come. We all will turn to something. What is it?

At this point I don't want to pretend to have any answers. I simply want to share two scriptures that speak deeply to my heart...every time. When I am worried, stressed, concerned, fearful...or if I just need to remind myself what I believe. :)

"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength." - 2 Timothy 4: 17

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

- Isaiah 41: 10

Finally, I have come across several really good quotes in the last few weeks...just want to share some of them with y'all this morning!

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Fill your mind with truth, your heart with love, your life with service." - Unknown

"Each day you are leading by example. Whether you realize it or not or whether it's positive or negative, you are influencing those around you." - Rob Liano

"There will always be somebody more successful, and more talented. But you're not running their race. You're running your race." - Germany Kent

"Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference." - Jane Goodall

"Every thought you have during the day will either disempower or empower you. Be kind to yourself. YOU are braver than your fears and much bigger than your worries." - Gordana Biernat

"Every day focus on your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don't get burned out because of what we do, we get burned out because we forget why we do it." - Jon Gordon

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families...only 10 days until Christmas! :)

Kev

An Incredible Alarm Clock

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you! It is truly a magical morning on the Winter Wonderland known as the Texas Gulf Coast...it's snowing! Truly beautiful!

I came across an awesome quote last week that I want to share with all of you...

"Purpose is an incredible alarm clock." - Unknown

You know what the easiest day of the week for me to wake up? Friday! At this point I have already had 4 days of getting up pretty early, going through my routine of reading, working out, going to work, coming home & spending time with my precious family, falling into bed exhausted only to get up in somewhere between 4 - 7 hours to do it all over again. Then on Friday I get up a little bit earlier so I have time to write Happy Friday and do all of the above all over again. And sometimes, like this morning, it gets a little more challenging...6 1/2 hours ago my flight landed in Houston and about 5 hours ago I was going to bed. You know what nearly never changes? I fly out of bed on Friday morning!

Now the reality is, I fly out of bed most every morning. Equally real however is the reality that I fly out of bed on Friday with even a little bit more excitement...yes, I drive my Beautiful Bride crazy! :) But why? Why do I fly out of bed most every morning and do so even a little more eagerly - yes, I put getting out of bed and eagerly in the same sentence! - on Friday's? I believe the answer is found in this simple little quote. I have shared before, I have absolutely no doubt that my purpose in life is to encourage, empower & equip people to become the best they are capable of becoming. As long as there are people, or even a single person, walking the face of this earth, I have a purpose to fulfill and thus, meet each day with excitement. And Friday's? Well, on those days there is a direct link between my purpose and an action I need to take - writing Happy Friday. I can unequivocally say that it is true, purpose is an incredible alarm clock!

So Sweet Friend, how are you in the morning? Do you fly out of bed? Are you excited for your day? Most every day? If the answer is yes, good for you! Keep striving every day to pursue your purpose...we need you! If the answer is no, perhaps it is time to really sit back and ask yourself a few questions. Why do you do what you do? What is most important to you - look at your actions, not your words...this will tell you the true answer to this question? What difference will it have made that you lived? When you find clarity to your purpose you will greet your morning with much more excitement.

Now, a few things here:
1. I would say it took me about 42 years of life to be able to put my purpose into that nice little one sentence. There were indicators, things that were leading me down my trail however it took 42 years to be able to say it, and feel it to the depths of my soul, to be able to put it into a succinct sentence. Be kind to you Friend...you will figure it out if you intentionally strive to do so.

2. Don't get caught up in trying to determine whether your purpose is "good" or "bad," "important" or "unimportant," etc. There is no good or bad, important or unimportant...every single purpose is important. Rating things as good or bad, important or unimportant is the business of a fallen, broken world. It is not the business of God. Think about that for a minute. 

"God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.

A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have." - 1 Corinthians 12: 6 - 11

"In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad." - 1 Corinthians 12: 22 - 26

I told you! :)

3. I also want to share this reading I came across this week. This excerpt comes from Christ-Based Leadership: Applying the Bible and Today's best Leadership Models to Become an Effective Leader by David Stark:

Wayne Cordero, pastor of a large church in Hawaii, challenges the thinking of laypeople around the country. He begins by asking a large audience how may present are full-time ministers. When I heard him speak, I was sitting in a crowd of four thousand people; about four hundred of us raised our hands.

Wayne said, "Thank you." Then he told us that he believes God is up to: "God wants to take a full-time minister and disguise her as a chemical engineer, so we can win chemical engineers to Christ...He wants to take a full-time minister and disguise him as the elementary principal, so we can influence the character and values of countless students...He wants to take a full-time minister and disguise her as a stay-at-home Mom, so we can build the children for the church's next generation."

Though his point became obvious after the first couple of examples, Wayne went on this way for ten minutes. He then paused and asked, "How many full-time ministers do we have with us today?" Four thousand hands shot up.

"That is the church of Jesus Christ," he concluded. "That is our definition of success."

Your life has great value, meaning & purpose. I pray that you will find it and then spend every day of your life striving to fulfill it!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

It's Really Pretty Simple

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new opportunity begins to dawn! It's the 1st of December...such a beautiful time of year!

I love Hallmark movies! It has become a Haslam family tradition to watch them together this time of year. Yes, the ultimate outcome is pretty predictable however they are often filled with faith, hope & love...things that make the spirit soar!

Earlier this week we were watching one of these movies and there is a scene where a woman almost gets hit by a car. A complete stranger, risking her own life and completely unconcerned about the groceries she carries in her arms, pulls the woman out of the way and they both tumble to the ground. The woman who has just been saved asks the woman, "How can I ever repay you?" The disheveled woman, picking up her groceries that have spilled all over the pavement says, "Go help someone who needs help."

You know how we always hear, are always told, that we need to be careful what we, and our children, watch on TV? That it impacts the way we see things, the way we do things and our attitude. It does a heart good when the next morning in the Haslam family group text message - yes, we have one of those! :) - the Little Preacher, my 12-year old Tender Warrior Landry, sends a message to the whole family that says, "Love you and go help someone that needs help."

Why do we make all of this, life, so complicated? It's really pretty simple. When someone needs help, help them. That's it. The help may be big, like pulling someone out of danger, or it may be very small, like opening a door or even simply smiling at someone. Did you know that smiling at someone is actually a form of helping them? If you have ever had a day that was overwhelming, where everything that can go wrong seems to do so, when you feel completely lost & alone...if someone smiled at you on that day then you fully understand that a smile is in fact a way of helping someone.

So that is Challenge 1 of this Happy Friday - to go out this day and help someone who needs help. Be aware of those around you, don't just look with earthly eyes and through the prism of your wants, goals & desires but to see with spiritual heart & eyes, to see others for who they are, where they are and, if you can, help them. A simple concept with an incredibly profound impact!

The other thing I want to share this week is based on something I heard on the radio this week, and it directly ties back to the Happy Friday I wrote about Legacy a couple of weeks ago. On Wednesday the announcers were talking about the fact that Matt Lauer had just been fired from the "Today Show" for "inappropriate sexual behavior." The announcer was talking about the fact that Matt had been reporting on all of these other individuals who had been fired for inappropriate sexual behavior prior to his own firing. He then went on to talk about how we like to sit back and pick apart others for their faults, failures & weaknesses...something that has, sadly, become like the new national pastime. 

Everyone of us has fault, failures & weaknesses...every single one of us. The Bible, in 1 John 1:8 tells me this is true; "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." There is a quote that is a great reminder - "Don't judge others because they sin differently than you."

Now, this doesn't excuse Matt's, or anyone else's, behavior when they do inappropriate things. I think this is where we get hung up as a society. His behavior was wrong, is completely unacceptable and thus, he was fired and will possibly face legal consequences. It isn't about whether it was right or wrong...it was clearly wrong and is being handled accordingly. But for you & I it is what we do with it next...

Matthew 7: 3 - 5 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Let me ask you this; what good, life giving thing will come from you sitting around your dinner table with your family talking about what a [fill in the blank] Matt is for what he has done - or anyone else for what they have done? Or how about with your co-workers? Or friends? Simply put, absolutely nothing. If we are wise we would focus on ourselves, the leading of the spirit within us about the things we need to clean up - the planks we need to remove - in our own lives.

A couple of things I feel my spirit telling me I need to say:
1. I am not saying look away and enable another's inappropriate behavior. If someone is doing something wrong, hurting another, etc. I pray we will have the strength, courage, knowledge & wisdom to intervene. This is Biblical as well. You see, there are people that have done this in the case of Matt...which means your & my 2 cents is not needed.

2. What I am talking about is when we are on the outside of the situation, when we are not directly involved. Here I am encouraging us to be different, to not judge and to focus on ourselves...I am encouraging us to walk out Matthew 7: 1 - 5.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Blessings & Legacy

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as this beautiful Sunday morning has dawned.

Wow, what a last couple of days! Between the University of Houston/Navy football game on Friday - as well as the tailgating that started at 7:00 a.m. and the night that closed by putting together a basketball hoop - and channeling my inner Clark Griswold (putting up Christmas lights) yesterday - of course I took a break to watch the Alabama/Auburn football game! :) - I find myself writing Happy Friday on a Sunday morning.

This morning I don't come to offer any advice or to provide a testimony. No, this morning I simply want to share a couple of thoughts, things I am working on...or out, and perhaps you too will find meaning in them.

In 2011 Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday. As with many things in life this new sense of what really matters, of having my eyes opened, came out of a season of tribulation. It had been a tough year that tested my faith deeply. God, as He always does, had provided. No, not in the way I thought or in the timing I had expected however His presence, and deliverance, were unmistakable. I was so grateful.

In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I really tried to be intentional about being truly thankful for the blessings, big & small, in my life. Not to just say I am thankful for them but to see them, recognize them and genuinely appreciate them. I know they are all around me and the only thing that keeps me from recognizing them all the time is my own selfishness. This is something I am really going to focus on ever day for the rest of my life. To be aware of, and genuinely grateful for, every blessing. I want the giving of thanks to be a daily attitude I possess, not a once of year holiday I celebrate.

The second thing I am spending some real time thinking & praying about came from an ESPN The Magazine article, written by Joel Anderson, that I read yesterday titled, "Earl Thomas is the favorite son of a troubled Texas town." Earl was born and raised in Orange, Texas, was a 2009 consensus All-American Defensive Back at the University of Texas and is a star player for the Seattle Seahawks where he has been a 6-time All Pro.

Here is the excerpt that got me:

"Thomas' largess in Orange has become the stuff of local legend. He holds a free summer football camp that draws hundreds of children. Last fall he chartered two buses for townsfolk to attend his alma mater's third straight state championship game appearance. He sponsors giveaways for Thanksgiving turkeys and winter coats. And those efforts are only the ones that he, a famously private man, allows us to see.

That civic devotion began with his grandfather, the late Earl Thomas Sr., who built a church in Orange's roughest section - the East side - proclaiming it the "church where everybody is somebody." A man of few words and endless drive, Earl Sr. had a ninth-grade education and worked at the same grocery store for 50 years. He didn't have much in his will to pass on to his six kids and their families. Instead, their inheritance was one of compassion for a place that can be as hard to live in as it is to love.

It's why Thomas' dad, Earl Jr., has spent weeks hanging drywall in homes battered by Harvey's winds and 34 inches of rain. It's why his mom, Debbie, is an unpaid church secretary after retiring from a local school district. And it's why Earl III often spends time in the offseason with kids in neighborhoods that are otherwise forgotten.

"He's always tried to help people," says Essie Bellfield, an 85-year-old civil rights activist who helped integrate Orange and became the city's first black mayor in 1997. "Which is the way he was raised up."

From Earl Sr. on down, helping people is his family's legacy. But when pulled up and away by his own talent and hard work, how much does a man owe to his hometown?"

It hit me like a 2 x 4 right between the eyes! What is the inheritance I am leaving my family? What is my families legacy? I am acutely aware that it is not in the words I speak but the actions I live, day after day after day after...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a great week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Seeking Wisdom

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast.

On my desk at work, right next to my phone, I have a little sign that says: 
“And why quibble about the speck in someone else’s eye—his little fault[a]—when a board is in your own? How can you think of saying to him, ‘Brother, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the board in yours? Hypocrite! First get rid of the board, and then perhaps you can see well enough to deal with his speck! Luke 6:41-42(TLB). It is covered by a piece of glass. Right next to it is a little mirror. Above it all it says, "What Do You See?" It is a reminder to me that when I have challenges/difficulties I can look out the window and try to find faults in people, situations or I can look in the mirror and become better. Think of the quote that says, "Don't pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

For the last couple of weeks in particular, it has been the cry of my heart that I would grow in wisdom. I haven't spent time praying people or situations would change. No, I have been praying that I would grow, that I would recognize my faults and correct them, that I would grow to be all God has created me to become. This morning I simply want to share some scriptures & quotes that have really spoken to my Spirit over the past couple of weeks...perhaps you will find some meaning in them as well! :)

Luke 6:43-45(TLB)“A tree from good stock doesn’t produce scrub fruit nor do trees from poor stock produce choice fruit. A tree is identified by the kind of fruit it produces. Figs never grow on thorns, or grapes on bramble bushes. A good man produces good deeds from a good heart. And an evil man produces evil deeds from his hidden wickedness. Whatever is in the heart overflows into speech.

James 1:2-8(TLB)2 Dear brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.

If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; he will not resent it. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind; and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way and then that. If you don’t ask with faith, don’t expect the Lord to give you any solid answer.

Hebrews 12:14-15 (TLB)Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.

Hebrews 12:1(TLB)12 Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.

Psalm 112:7-9(TLB)7 He does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen. For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. That is why he is not afraid but can calmly face his foes. He gives generously to those in need. His deeds will never be forgotten.[a] He shall have influence and honor.

And a few quotes:

"We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We need to offer grace to all, because we all need a little grace." - Dr. Jayce O'Neal

"Listen. Pay attention. Treasure every moment." - Oprah Winfrey

"Inner improvements create outer ones." - Steve Gutzler

"Make a difference with the people that are right in front of you. Impact them. One person at a time." - Jon Gordon

"We tend to live up to our expectations." - Tim Fargo

"Accountability is essential to personal growth, as well as team growth. How can you improve if you're never wrong? If you don't admit a mistake and take responsibility for it, you're bound to make the same one again." - Pat Summitt

"You are a piece of the puzzle to make this planet better - live your purpose - your greatness." - Steve Gutzler

A personal favorite of mine and another message to you this morning! :)

We all have problems, challenges & struggles. The question is, "What Do You See?" Do you look out the window and find fault in people & situations? Are you telling others what they should do, how they should act & who they should be? Please remember the quote that says something like, "When you are talking you are simply stating what you already know. When you listen, you grow." OR are you willing to take a look in the mirror? Are you willing to pray that YOU grow, that YOU will become better, that YOU will see things in a new light? I pray that you & I will continue to seek wisdom every day of our lives and that we will have humble, teachable hearts & Spirits.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev 

Don't Miss It

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! The weather has been beautiful, our like 5 days of fall we get all year when the temperatures are in the high 60's, low 70's...for those in the Northeast & Midwest - it's all about perspective! :)

Earlier this week I heard a comedian speaking on the radio. He was talking about how ridiculous dreams are. He went on to explain that so many people miss living today, in the present moment, because we are so busy thinking about and waiting for our dreams to come true. As a guy who routinely encourages people to chase the dreams they treasure in their hearts it really got me to thinking. I understood his point.

For many years I had the privilege of serving others as a football coach. I didn't really know why, I just knew I wanted to try to make a difference in a kids life. I then went into intercollegiate athletic administration. I didn't really know why, I just knew I wanted to make a difference in a whole bunch of kids & coaches lives. And then God put me in time out. I went through a season of life that some might think was a negative however for me it was transformative. I took a job that to all the world made perfect sense - I must be clear here...God gave me signs that it was not right however I ran right through those stop signs! - however within 8 months I realized I was in the wrong place and then it took another 3 months to actually find a new job. It was during this time, a time I spent a ton of time with God reflecting on my life, who I am, what I believe, why I do what I do, etc. that I found my "Why".

Simon Sinek champions the idea of "Start with Why." On the website, startwithwhy.com, it says, "Everyone has a why. Why do you get up in the morning? Why does your organization exist? Your Why is the purpose, cause or belief that inspires you to do what you do. When you think, act and communicate starting with Why, you can inspire others."

Simon also came up with the idea of the Golden Circle. It is a three ring circle with Why? in the inner circle, How? in the middle circle and What? in the outer circle. Here is what they stand for:
Why? - Why do you do what you do?
How? - How do you do what you do?
What? - What do you do?

So let me bring this back in real personal. During my "time out" I realized that I really do believe that every persons life has value, meaning and purpose. I had also encountered hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people who did not see the value, meaning & purpose of their own lives and thus, were not living them. It broke my heart...praying, "God, please break my heart for what breaks yours" really does work. I realized I had found my Why. Shortly thereafter I had clarity of why I truly believe the purpose placed me on this earth - to encourage, empower & equip others to become the best they are capable of becoming as they pursue their life purposes. This is my How? So What do I do? I intentionally get up very early every morning and read my Bible & then a leadership book - I must first encourage, empower & equip myself before I can even think about doing the same for others. I then write my Beautiful Bride and 3 Tender Warriors a note. After doing this I look for quotes & scriptures, usually led by a word or thought I read in my Bible or leadership book, that I then share on Twitter & Facebook. After doing this I go to the gym to workout and pray. One of the things I regularly pray is that I will see things with spiritual eyes, that God will continually break my heart for what breaks His. That I will not see people as they are but as they could be. That I will see the brokenness, hurt and love them and accept them where they are. I offer a word of encouragement whenever I can...and always a smile, to everyone. I do life with people. They call, I answer. They have a need I can meet I do everything I can to meet it. And oh yeah, once a week I get up a little bit earlier so I can write "Happy Friday!"

I want to circle back to the beginning. In the beginning I knew I wanted to be a football coach because I wanted to make a difference in a kids life. If you asked me my dream I would have told you it was to be a football coach in the Southeast Conference (SEC), preferably Georgia. When I was in athletic administration I would have told you that my dream was to be an athletics director, preferably in an athletic department that needed building...I have always been a builder, not so much one to sustain something that has already been built. The funny thing is, no matter my position, I always had contentment in my Spirit and I had great purpose. Why? I believe it is because I was just misidentifying the dream. It wasn't about the SEC, building an athletic department, etc. It was about encouraging, empowering & equipping others to become the best they are capable of becoming. Could I do that as a football coach? Absolutely! And at any level. Do I do it now as a Development Professional? Without question!

This all comes back to the point the gentleman was making on the radio. Had I sat their simply waiting & hoping for my "dream" of coaching in the SEC or building an athletic department, I would miss living the life that I am living, I would miss living my purpose. Encouraging, empowering & equipping others is not done in only one field, vocation, conference, etc. It is done living life where God has me.

So Friend, what is your Why? As I was thinking about this earlier today I think a real clarifying question is "what do you really believe?" What you really believe will lead you to your why. Here is the thing; this IS your life. Don't miss it waiting for the right job, person, conference, etc. Find your why and live it every single day wherever you are!  

One quick quote - it has nothing to do specifically with this Happy Friday! - that I came across this morning and want to share with you:

"So, we password protect our phones but we allow anything to enter our hearts???" - Derron E. Short

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Integrity & Grace

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast...home of the 2017 World Series Champion Houston Astros! #HoustonStrong

Gotta few things I want to share this morning. This first one I found THIS morning, like 10 minutes ago! :) The following was posted by Proactive Coaching on their Facebook page and can be found at positivethingsonly.com. I hope it affirms & inspires you.

Here Are 13 Traits of People that Have True Integrity:

- They are trustworthy
Trust is actually the most common trait of these people. Once people with integrity have gained your trust, they will try to keep it.

- They are honest
They are honest people who don't feel the need to lie because they want to get where they need to get in life without lying.

- They are authentic
People with true integrity are actually their truest forms. You will never catch them in a lie.

- They do good things whenever they can
They often help others. They enjoy improving others lives.

- They are humble
They don't quite know their own worth. Although they do good things, they do not quite notice their act of kindness.

- They apologize first
In case people with true integrity have done something wrong, they will actually apologize. They admit their mistake as well as try to make things right.

- They believe other people
They don't take lying well. In case you lie to them, they will never take your word again.

- They are kind to people that need it
If you look like you need a little pick me up, people with true integrity will try to brighten up your day.

- They realize when something is bothering others
These people have a great intuition, which allows them to realize when something is going on. In case someone is down in the dumps, people with true integrity will notice.

- They give others the benefit of the doubt
People with true integrity try to see the good in others as they feel like many people have integrity, as well. So, in case you take advantage of these people too much, they will probably get rid of you.

- They don't argue over disagreements
These people often talk through things in a civil manner. Sometimes, they don't talk at all. They don't argue over anything ridiculous.

- They don't take advantage of other people
They don't take advantage of other people. In addition, they often build others up as well as help them get where they need to be.

- They credit people that deserve it
Those who have true integrity don't take credit for things they didn't do. Moreover, they often credit people that deserve it. In case you help them with a project, they will probably mention your name so you would take credit for your work.

- They value other people's time
These people value their own time as well as they value other people's time. This means that they understand that you have many other places you need to be. That's why they do not hold you up.

- They are genuine
They show their genuineness by action. For example, they will return lost money without expecting any reward of praise.

- They hold themselves accountable
They have strong commitment standards. This means that they set goals and try to achieve them. In case they feel that they are wavering from their goals, they adjust quickly.

- They hold you accountable
In case you tell your goals to these people, they may try to help you achieve them. In fact, it is the need to help other people succeed that drives them.

Now I want to transition to another thought/idea. What, or where, do you turn when you go through a difficult season of life? Jon Gordon, in his book Training Camp: A Fable About Excellence, credits Tony Boselli, a former College Football All American and Pro Bowl Offensive Lineman with the Jacksonville Jaguars, with the idea of "during training camp everyone turns to something, you have to turn to the right things." To say it another way, "during difficult seasons of life, we all turn to something, you have to turn to the right things." Some turn to God, the Bible, wise counselors, etc. Others turn to alcohol, drugs, inappropriate relationships, etc. We are all going to go through storms. We are all going to turn to something. That something determines HOW we go through the storm and WHO we are when we come out on the other side of the storm. Please remember Sweet Friends, just as surely as storms will come they will also pass.

And shifting gears on you again real quick this morning, I want to share briefly something that happened during the World Series. By the way, did I mention the Houston Astros won?! :)

You might have seen, and probably heard, what happened during the 2nd inning of Game 3. Yuli Gurriel of the Astros hit a home run off of Yu Darvish of the Dodgers. Yuli then made an inappropriate racial gesture and an inappropriate racial slur. The cameras caught it and the world reacted.

Yu Darvish is a great pitcher. He had a tough World Series however failing moments don't define the greatness of an athlete any more than they do the greatness of a person. Be sure, Yu is a great athlete however he is an even greater human being.

While the world reacted with the vitriol that has become far to common, Yu responded completely differently. While acknowledging that the act was "disrespectful," Yu did something that still has me standing in awe. He sent out a tweet that, according to sports.yahoo.com said, "No one is perfect. That includes both you and I. What he has done today isn't right, but I believe we should put our effort into learning rather than to accuse him. If we can take something from this, that is a giant step for mankind. Since we are living in such a wonderful world, let's stay positive and move forward instead of focusing on anger. I am counting on everyone's big love." Wow...

I also read somewhere else that one of Yuli's mentors on the Astros is friends with Yu. According to the article I read, Yuli was really down about everything that happened. Yu's friend on the Astros texted Yu sharing that Yulie felt really bad, was down, etc. Yu then texted the mentor back and said something to the affect of, "Please tell him I still think he is a good person. He just made a mistake." When the mentor showed this to Yuli everything changed. The offended had told the offender he still believed in him...how different that life will now be. This is the definition of grace. And it should be noted, when Yuli came up to bat against Yu in Game 7, he tipped his cap to Yu as a sign of respect. How different this all could have gone down had Yu responded differently.

I am like any Dad/parent; I want my Tender Warriors to do good in anything they pursue, be it athletics, school, etc. While they watch and mimic the actions of great football/baseball players and strive to achieve their level of success, I pray they strive to be men like Yu. This world desperately needs them!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

You Are Able

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to introduce a truly remarkable woman prior to a speech she was giving at the launch of the Ability Resource Group. At 8 months old she got polio and this left her with partial paralysis on one side of her body and lack of strength on the other side. She had a dream of being a doctor. She grew up in a time before ADA laws and the protections they provide. She went to 4 different medical schools to meet with the Deans. She asked each one if she could become a doctor. Two of the Deans told her that she could not become a physician. Another gave some answer that was basically "no" however they appeared to be aware that there might be legal ramifications of saying such a thing. The last school said, "why couldn't you?" As she noted, "they looked at what I could do instead of what I couldn't do." This woman's life is a great great example of strength, perseverance & self-less service. This woman's life is a great inspiration and I am truly blessed to call her "friend." :)

I have shared this before and I feel compelled to share it again...it was transformational to me. Driving home listening to the radio several years ago, a lady called in for prayer for her young son. She explained that her son had disabilities. As soon as the sweet Mom got the word "disabilities" out of her mouth, the radio host interrupted her and said, "Please tell me about your sons abilities." I don't remember the things the Mom said specifically anymore. I do remember her voice changing as she told all the special things her precious little boy could do. It was a profound perspective shift for me.

That night when I got home, I gathered my greatest calling - my amazing family - around me and we talked about abilities & disabilities. We talked about the fact that ALL of us have abilities & disabilities. Some, like my friend, have physical disabilities that are readily apparent when you look at them. This however does not change the fact that they still have many amazing abilities. Some have disabilities that we would never know by looking at them. And this does not change the fact that they many amazing abilities. 

A couple of quick takeaways:
1. What are you looking for? You see, we find what we are looking for. If you are looking for what a person cannot do you will certainly be able to find it. Likewise, if you are looking for what a person can do you will find it as well. It all comes back to us and what we are looking for. While nobody can do everything, everybody can do many things and they can add great value to you, your work, your life. It is tragic that we would eliminate anyone simply because there are a couple of things they cannot do while there are countless things they can do.

2. I really like the folks who know who they really are, don't you? Have you ever noticed how much time people, including you & I, spend trying to hide their weaknesses, our disabilities. We cover them up any way we can - be it with clothing, an aggressive attitude or speech, by not even trying. These are all defense mechanisms to prevent others from seeing who we really are, to not let them know that we have some sort of disability. Those with physical disabilities don't always have that opportunity. There is no way to hide who they are and in this, many find great freedom...they are free to be themselves. There is great wisdom there Friends! We all have disabilities! To know who we are, to embrace our purpose and to walk boldly & confidently in that purpose is something that is available to all of us. Not to do so is perhaps the greatest disability.

Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev