Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as new opportunities, hope & promise arrive with the dawning of this new day!
The last few days I have been thinking a lot about friends. The people we have the privilege of doing life with, who make the moments more enjoyable, who you genuinely look forward to seeing. I think of these people with deep gratitude & appreciation...
This evening, somewhere between 6:40 - 6:55 p.m., the Haslam family will arrive at the baseball field at Clear Creek High School. Tonight will be our last regular season game and it has serious implications - win and we are in the play-offs; lose and we might be...at best. As soon as I get there I will go shake Dave, Roland & Joe's hands. I will say "Hi" to Dawn, Lynn, Brandy, Theresa...and others whose names I don't know as well. We will all then sit in some configuration - always close to Dave, Roland & Joe - and we will spend the next 2+ hours watching our sons pursue their dreams. We will talk, laugh, discuss the last play, laugh, discuss whether it was a ball or strike, laugh, talk, laugh, discuss whether the player was out or safe, laugh...you get the idea.
These are some of my friends and I truly value & cherish each one. I genuinely look forward to seeing them tonight, to hearing about their last couple of days, to hear about what is going on in their families, to enjoy a ballgame together and to share (several) laughs. While my family is my greatest calling and purpose, I would offer that it is our friends that make the moments more special, more memorable...they are the seasoning if you will.
As I reflect on my life I am awed by the blessing of so many special people that God has brought into my life. Some are still in my life, some were only in my life for a season and some I am pretty sure are trying to get away from me but I keep trackin' em down! :) Think back to different seasons of your life and you probably won't remember the score, the record, the grade, etc. but you will remember the people who walked that leg of your journey with you. It's the relationships that give meaning, add value and make the moments unforgettable. People are special, relationships are what is truly significant...we would be wise to honor & cherish them!
I want to share just a few thoughts:
1. Please cherish the people around you. You are going to go to work, to the store, perhaps you too will go to a ballgame today. There will be people around you. No, they are not going to be exactly like you, think like you, dress like you, act like you, etc. Yes, they have struggles, challenges, problems, etc. All this is o.k. Just look at them and value them for who they are. Some will talk to you and some won't...remember, you don't control their actions, just your own. We can still say hi, smile and engage them at whatever level they will allow us to engage them. Some will talk to you, tell you about their families, allow you to become a part of their story...these are great blessings and should be treated as such. Others will keep you at arms length, not allowing you to become a part of their story...these too are blessings as they give you the opportunity to tell them about who you are and what you believe, by the way you act, speak and how you treat them. Perhaps you are the messenger that God will use to let them know that all people aren't bad, that there really are kind, considerate people in this world, that there is hope...you might be the ray of light in their dark world. Regardless of how others think, act & respond, you & I have a choice. We can choose to recognize people, value them, to be kind to them, to treat them with dignity & respect...I pray we will.
2. This whole thing about staying in touch with friends after a season of life has passed is very interesting to me. Being in college coaching for so long, there have been a lot of goodbye's to people - coaches, players, friends in the community - who Kathy and I valued, and still value, greatly. What we have found is we can stay in touch with these friends if we intentionally choose to do so. I can reach back over 30+ years and tell you of friends I am still in touch with today because I have intentionally chosen to stay in touch with them. Yes, we all go through busy seasons of life however at some point we will intentionally choose, or not, to reach out to them, to tell them we are thinking about them, to see how they are doing, perhaps to ask if there is anything we can do for them, anything we can be praying about for them. Just because a season of life has passed doesn't mean the friendship has to end...ultimately that will be up to you. AND right about now you might be thinking, "what about the other person Kev?!" My Beautiful Bride and I have talked about this one as well. Let's not get caught up in the "I called them last" game. Let's just follow our own hearts and when we think about them give them a call, shoot them a text, send an email. Again, we don't control how anyone else acts...we only control how we act. As many of my friends have found out, they can ignore me, not call, text or email and I will keep on leaving messages and sending texts letting them know I am thinking about them and I believe in them. :)
Let me keep this real for a second. I am not going to sit here and pretend to be St. Kev. Does that get hard sometimes, when you are the only one reaching out, communicating?!?! Yeah, it does. What I have found is this is a good time for me to have a conversation with God. Usually I find if I will let go of the pride & judgement, I am good. I remind myself that it is not about me. Maybe it is God simply using me to encourage someone. Maybe they are at a point of struggle, of pain and they just need to hear a voice letting them know that someone is thinking of them, that someone believes in them. Ultimately, I have decided that I am going to answer the call of my own heart...when I think of them I will reach out, regardless of the response or lack there of. I find it really easy to sleep at night that way.
3. Finally, I just want to offer a heartfelt thank you to everyone I have the honor & privilege of calling Friend. My family & I cherish each one of you and we are so grateful that God has allowed us to do this thing called life with you!
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish you precious families.
Kev
Friday, April 28, 2017
Friday, April 21, 2017
Chasing A Dream
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn.
This morning I am going to share a story with you about the pursuit of a dream. The fact that I am writing this on the 21st birthday of the dream chaser, my oldest Tender Warrior Payton, was not planned...at least not by me. Rather it is a statement about respecting the wishes of the dream chaser and a testament to God's perfect timing.
A little more than 3 years ago I wrote a "Happy Friday" that I titled "Launching a Tender Warrior." It was the story about our families journey to South Dakota as Payton began his 1st semester of college at a school where he had received a football scholarship. So now, here is the rest of the story...at least for now! :)
Payton adjusted really well to being away from home. He had a great Fall Camp and things were going really well with school & football. In about October things started to change. The tone in his voice was different and he no longer spoke with the optimism that was readily apparent in our conversations in August & September. I knew something was wrong however I did not know what it was. He started talking about possibly leaving, not being happy, etc. There was a defining moment for me in late October/early November. I was on a business trip and I was talking to Payton on the phone. We were talking about what was going on and it was readily apparent that he had already left, at least mentally. I called my Beautiful Bride and told her what I felt. We decided that we would sit down and talk with Payton when we all met in Arizona for Thanksgiving.
During the Thanksgiving break Kath, Payton & I went to Denny's for breakfast. Payton stated that he wanted to leave the school he was at, that he had a dream of playing Division I football and that he wanted to pursue that dream. We talked about what this meant. He was walking away from a scholarship. He would now be in a situation where nobody would care if he went to class, if he worked out, if he ever played football again. I told him his resolve would be tested as never before, that he was walking a path into darkness, where he would have to create his own way. I told him if this is in fact what he was going to do that he would 1) go to school, 2. get a job and 3. work out.
At Christmas Payton loaded up his car and drove himself home from South Dakota. He immediately got enrolled in a community college by our home, got a job at a mall and we got a membership to a gym so he could work out. The pursuit of the dream had begun...
The plan was that Payton would do these things and then tryout for one of the junior college football teams here in Texas and enroll there in the fall. The plan was going as we had, well, planned. We went to a tryout at a junior college and Payton was on point! He was a quarterback and his passes had zip and were on target...every time. I mean this kid did not miss a throw all day. I don't know in all the time that I have watched him as a QB that I had ever seen him have a better day. He and I went out to dinner afterwards to celebrate before making the drive home. We talked about how great he had done, what this would mean, etc. The coaches told the players they would hear something early the next week. Payton waited for a call or email, and waited. He finally started reaching out to the coaches. Calls, emails...crickets. No calls or emails returned. I would guess that Payton probably reached out to them 20 - 30 times...nothing. A lot of discouragement for sure. The opportunity for Payton to think and learn how he will represent himself when he is in a position of influence.
So Payton went back to the grind of school (without football for the first time in more than 5 years), work and working out. We enjoyed Saturday's watching college football together again and the plan was modified. In the spring he would find a different Junior College he could play at and then play his final fall, finish his associates degree and then try out for a Division I program. Again, our plan was apparently not God's plan and the opportunity did not present itself.
This was the only time that I thought the dream had died. While Payton continued to go to school, work & workout he was no longer talking about playing Division I football. My Beautiful Bride & I talked about the fact that he no longer mentioned it and we decided I would talk to him about it. When I asked Payton if he was done trying he, without a bit of hesitation and with great optimism in his voice said, "Oh no Dad, I am going to walk on at the University of Houston. Their tryouts are in February." Wow, I had no idea. While he was quiet about it, the passion for his dream was ragging inside like a wildfire out of control.
We again discussed the plan. Payton is a very good athlete however he doesn't have the height that most coaches want in a quarterback. Instead of trying to walk on as a quarterback he would walk on as a wide receiver. He would continue to do the things we had discussed and we would add workouts on Saturday's & Sunday's to the routine where I would teach him how to play wide receiver. For 16 years I had the privilege of being a college football coach and my start, my expertise if you will, was as a wide receivers coach. So we put that plan into action.
The weeks were a blur. Payton's schedule was packed with school, work and workouts. Because of the weight of his load he would often get up, go work out, head to school, work at night, come home, collapse and wake up the next day to begin the process again. Saturday's and most Sunday's found us at the practice football field at the high school by our home running through drill after drill. While he would talk about being tired on occasion, Payton never complained about the path he was walking...instead he talked about the attainment of the goal.
Excitement built in the Haslam household as the time for the tryout approached. And then, the first tryout was...postponed. And then, the second tryout out was...postponed. Finally, Friday, February 24th arrived. There was great excitement in our family as Payton got up early to go to his tryout which would start at 7:00 a.m. It was a pretty emotional time as Payton was going to step up to the line, put it all on the line, for a dream that he had aggressively began pursuing more than 2 years before. I reminded him of our conversation sitting at that Denny's that November morning. I pointed out that he now had an Associates Degree and was enrolled at the University of Houston in the program he wanted to be in, that he had gained 25 pounds of muscle in working out and that not only was he serving as a manager at a sandwich shop, he had also worked as a supervisor at the NFL Experience for the Super Bowl that had just been played in Houston. I told him it was now time to go claim the prize he had earned.
I can't begin to tell you the nervousness as we waited to hear word. While I knew Payton had done everything he could do, I also knew there were no guarantees. My Beautiful Bride and I talked about whether he made it or not, Payton had grown tremendously as a man. The very fact that he had so dedicated himself to the pursuit of his dream, the fact that he had overcome discouragement & disappointment, the fact that he been incredibly dedicated and disciplined in the pursuit of his dream...are all skills and experiences that will serve him well in life.
At 8:27 a.m. on Friday, February 24th Payton sent a text to Kath, Gehrig and I that said, "I want to cry...I made it" I yelled down the hall at work when I read it, and I DID cry. He made it!
Last Saturday our family had the privilege of watching Payton play in the Spring Game. It was a surreal moment when we reached the top of the stadium bowl and I looked down and saw him for the first time as a Division I college football player out on the field. He had a dream, he pursued it, he achieved it and he belongs.
There are a few things I want to share with you this morning.
1. Please pursue your dreams. Just as I couldn't promise Payton he would achieve his dream, I can't promise you that you will either. I can testify however that just as Payton grew tremendously as a person in the pursuit of the dream, you will as well. While you may or may not actually achieve what you are striving for, you will come closer to being all that you were created to become by pursuing it.
2. It's really easy for us to look at others and say things like, "things always work out for them" or "they are always lucky." While the outcome was what Payton was shooting for, please don't miss the moments of great disappointment and discouragement. There were 2 failed attempts, if you will, at the dream. Twice the silence was deafening. Twice the negative voices wanted to rise inside and tell him "you are not good enough," "you can't do this." He fought back those voices and in the absences of any tangible, external rewards he persevered.
3. Please notice that much of what Payton went through he had to do alone. There is nothing Payton can attribute to his success but God, faith and himself. Yes, our family supported and encouraged him however it was him, by himself, getting up early and going to the gym. Driving himself to classes and doing the work. Working at a job and staying there late. It is a lonely road sometimes chasing dreams however the journey develops the person.
4. Have the courage to believe in you. God has created each and every one of us, on purpose, for a purpose, lacking nothing. Please don't let this world define you or find your value in what the world says you are. You just go on about being the greatest you that you can be and pursue those precious, cherished dreams that reside deep within your soul.
5. God's timing is always perfect. It might not work out the way we think, want or hope however in the end, God's timing is always perfect.
I came across this quote this morning and want to share it with you:
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn.
This morning I am going to share a story with you about the pursuit of a dream. The fact that I am writing this on the 21st birthday of the dream chaser, my oldest Tender Warrior Payton, was not planned...at least not by me. Rather it is a statement about respecting the wishes of the dream chaser and a testament to God's perfect timing.
A little more than 3 years ago I wrote a "Happy Friday" that I titled "Launching a Tender Warrior." It was the story about our families journey to South Dakota as Payton began his 1st semester of college at a school where he had received a football scholarship. So now, here is the rest of the story...at least for now! :)
Payton adjusted really well to being away from home. He had a great Fall Camp and things were going really well with school & football. In about October things started to change. The tone in his voice was different and he no longer spoke with the optimism that was readily apparent in our conversations in August & September. I knew something was wrong however I did not know what it was. He started talking about possibly leaving, not being happy, etc. There was a defining moment for me in late October/early November. I was on a business trip and I was talking to Payton on the phone. We were talking about what was going on and it was readily apparent that he had already left, at least mentally. I called my Beautiful Bride and told her what I felt. We decided that we would sit down and talk with Payton when we all met in Arizona for Thanksgiving.
During the Thanksgiving break Kath, Payton & I went to Denny's for breakfast. Payton stated that he wanted to leave the school he was at, that he had a dream of playing Division I football and that he wanted to pursue that dream. We talked about what this meant. He was walking away from a scholarship. He would now be in a situation where nobody would care if he went to class, if he worked out, if he ever played football again. I told him his resolve would be tested as never before, that he was walking a path into darkness, where he would have to create his own way. I told him if this is in fact what he was going to do that he would 1) go to school, 2. get a job and 3. work out.
At Christmas Payton loaded up his car and drove himself home from South Dakota. He immediately got enrolled in a community college by our home, got a job at a mall and we got a membership to a gym so he could work out. The pursuit of the dream had begun...
The plan was that Payton would do these things and then tryout for one of the junior college football teams here in Texas and enroll there in the fall. The plan was going as we had, well, planned. We went to a tryout at a junior college and Payton was on point! He was a quarterback and his passes had zip and were on target...every time. I mean this kid did not miss a throw all day. I don't know in all the time that I have watched him as a QB that I had ever seen him have a better day. He and I went out to dinner afterwards to celebrate before making the drive home. We talked about how great he had done, what this would mean, etc. The coaches told the players they would hear something early the next week. Payton waited for a call or email, and waited. He finally started reaching out to the coaches. Calls, emails...crickets. No calls or emails returned. I would guess that Payton probably reached out to them 20 - 30 times...nothing. A lot of discouragement for sure. The opportunity for Payton to think and learn how he will represent himself when he is in a position of influence.
So Payton went back to the grind of school (without football for the first time in more than 5 years), work and working out. We enjoyed Saturday's watching college football together again and the plan was modified. In the spring he would find a different Junior College he could play at and then play his final fall, finish his associates degree and then try out for a Division I program. Again, our plan was apparently not God's plan and the opportunity did not present itself.
This was the only time that I thought the dream had died. While Payton continued to go to school, work & workout he was no longer talking about playing Division I football. My Beautiful Bride & I talked about the fact that he no longer mentioned it and we decided I would talk to him about it. When I asked Payton if he was done trying he, without a bit of hesitation and with great optimism in his voice said, "Oh no Dad, I am going to walk on at the University of Houston. Their tryouts are in February." Wow, I had no idea. While he was quiet about it, the passion for his dream was ragging inside like a wildfire out of control.
We again discussed the plan. Payton is a very good athlete however he doesn't have the height that most coaches want in a quarterback. Instead of trying to walk on as a quarterback he would walk on as a wide receiver. He would continue to do the things we had discussed and we would add workouts on Saturday's & Sunday's to the routine where I would teach him how to play wide receiver. For 16 years I had the privilege of being a college football coach and my start, my expertise if you will, was as a wide receivers coach. So we put that plan into action.
The weeks were a blur. Payton's schedule was packed with school, work and workouts. Because of the weight of his load he would often get up, go work out, head to school, work at night, come home, collapse and wake up the next day to begin the process again. Saturday's and most Sunday's found us at the practice football field at the high school by our home running through drill after drill. While he would talk about being tired on occasion, Payton never complained about the path he was walking...instead he talked about the attainment of the goal.
Excitement built in the Haslam household as the time for the tryout approached. And then, the first tryout was...postponed. And then, the second tryout out was...postponed. Finally, Friday, February 24th arrived. There was great excitement in our family as Payton got up early to go to his tryout which would start at 7:00 a.m. It was a pretty emotional time as Payton was going to step up to the line, put it all on the line, for a dream that he had aggressively began pursuing more than 2 years before. I reminded him of our conversation sitting at that Denny's that November morning. I pointed out that he now had an Associates Degree and was enrolled at the University of Houston in the program he wanted to be in, that he had gained 25 pounds of muscle in working out and that not only was he serving as a manager at a sandwich shop, he had also worked as a supervisor at the NFL Experience for the Super Bowl that had just been played in Houston. I told him it was now time to go claim the prize he had earned.
I can't begin to tell you the nervousness as we waited to hear word. While I knew Payton had done everything he could do, I also knew there were no guarantees. My Beautiful Bride and I talked about whether he made it or not, Payton had grown tremendously as a man. The very fact that he had so dedicated himself to the pursuit of his dream, the fact that he had overcome discouragement & disappointment, the fact that he been incredibly dedicated and disciplined in the pursuit of his dream...are all skills and experiences that will serve him well in life.
At 8:27 a.m. on Friday, February 24th Payton sent a text to Kath, Gehrig and I that said, "I want to cry...I made it" I yelled down the hall at work when I read it, and I DID cry. He made it!
Last Saturday our family had the privilege of watching Payton play in the Spring Game. It was a surreal moment when we reached the top of the stadium bowl and I looked down and saw him for the first time as a Division I college football player out on the field. He had a dream, he pursued it, he achieved it and he belongs.
There are a few things I want to share with you this morning.
1. Please pursue your dreams. Just as I couldn't promise Payton he would achieve his dream, I can't promise you that you will either. I can testify however that just as Payton grew tremendously as a person in the pursuit of the dream, you will as well. While you may or may not actually achieve what you are striving for, you will come closer to being all that you were created to become by pursuing it.
2. It's really easy for us to look at others and say things like, "things always work out for them" or "they are always lucky." While the outcome was what Payton was shooting for, please don't miss the moments of great disappointment and discouragement. There were 2 failed attempts, if you will, at the dream. Twice the silence was deafening. Twice the negative voices wanted to rise inside and tell him "you are not good enough," "you can't do this." He fought back those voices and in the absences of any tangible, external rewards he persevered.
3. Please notice that much of what Payton went through he had to do alone. There is nothing Payton can attribute to his success but God, faith and himself. Yes, our family supported and encouraged him however it was him, by himself, getting up early and going to the gym. Driving himself to classes and doing the work. Working at a job and staying there late. It is a lonely road sometimes chasing dreams however the journey develops the person.
4. Have the courage to believe in you. God has created each and every one of us, on purpose, for a purpose, lacking nothing. Please don't let this world define you or find your value in what the world says you are. You just go on about being the greatest you that you can be and pursue those precious, cherished dreams that reside deep within your soul.
5. God's timing is always perfect. It might not work out the way we think, want or hope however in the end, God's timing is always perfect.
I came across this quote this morning and want to share it with you:
"Your greatest responsibility in your life is to be the best version of yourself." - Shannon L. Alder
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Friday, April 14, 2017
Compensation
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as this beautiful new day, Good Friday, begins to dawn!
This morning I am going to share some excerpts from Chase The Lion: If Your Dream Doesn't Scare You, It's Too Small by Mark Batterson. What I am going to share is from a section he titled Theory of Compensation which is found in Chapter 12, Run To The Roar.
"Around the turn of the twentieth century, Alfred Adler proposed the counterintuitive theory of compensation. Adler believed that perceived disadvantages often prove to be well-disguised advantages because they force us to develop attitudes and abilities that would have otherwise gone undiscovered. It's only as we compensate for those disadvantages that we discover our greatest gifts.
Seventy percent of the art students Adler studied had optical anomalies. He observed that some of history's greatest composers, Mozart and Beethoven among them, had degenerative traces in their ears. And he cited a multiplicity of other examples, from a wide variety of vocations, of those who leveraged their weaknesses by discovering new strengths. Adler concluded that perceived disadvantages, such as birth defects, physical ailments, and poverty, can be springboards to success. And that success is not achieved in spite of those perceived disadvantages. It's achieved because of them.
Subsequent studies have added credibility to Adler's theory. In one study of small-business owners, for example, 35 percent were self-identified dyslexics. While none of us would wish dyslexia on our children because of the academic challenge that comes with it, that disadvantage forced this group of entrepreneurs to cultivate different skill sets. Some of them became more proficient at oral communication because reading was so difficult. Others learned to rely on well-developed social skills to compensate for the challenges they faced in the classroom. And all of them cultivated a work ethic that might have remained dormant if reading had come easy to them."
"Destiny isn't revealed on sunny days. It's usually revealed on snowy days. Destiny isn't revealed while watching cute kitten videos. It's revealed when you cross paths with a five-hundred-pound lion. Destiny isn't just revealed in your natural gifts and abilities. It's also revealed in the compensatory skills you have to work extra hard to develop."
"You have gifts and abilities that you aren't even aware of, but they are often buried beneath perceived weaknesses. In those disadvantages, dreams are playing hide-and-seek."
A pretty profound perspective shift, isn't it? I can't help but think of those who seemingly fight for their disadvantages and those, who despite obvious disadvantages, act and believe as though their disadvantage doesn't even exist. I remember watching a story once of a young boy, several physically handicapped, who could seemingly do anything. When the reporter asked him how it felt to be disabled, he stated he didn't know he was disabled until someone told him.
I am drawn to the part that says, "well-disguised advantages because they force us to develop attitudes and abilities that would have otherwise gone undiscovered." It all, life, seems to begin with attitude, doesn't it? What is the difference between those fighting for their disadvantages and the boy who didn't know he was disabled until someone told him? Attitude. What is the difference between a challenge or an opportunity? Attitude.
Attitude is defined as, "a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior." Powerful. Complete. The way we think or feel about someone or something, which is typically reflected in our behavior. Do you think you are fearfully & wonderfully made? Created on purpose, for a purpose? Lacking nothing? In-spite of your flaws - we are all flawed somehow Friends? If you don't like where you are in your life right now, if you aren't happy with the way things are going, may I please, with a pure heart, suggest that perhaps you need to take an honest look at the way you are thinking about things? It really all does begin there, with our attitudes.
And I just stand in awe of the second part, the development of compensatory abilities. For me I think this is the ultimate goal, to become the best we are capable of becoming. No, my body might not look like yours, my mental faculties may not function like yours and I might not have the resources you have however I am still capable of becoming the best that I am capable of becoming. I pray that each of us, beginning with me, will truly strive for this - our individual greatness - regardless of our disadvantages.
I also want to share a few quotes with you, not necessarily related to the topic of compensation, that I came across this week that I thought were pretty stinkin' awesome.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful Easter weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as this beautiful new day, Good Friday, begins to dawn!
This morning I am going to share some excerpts from Chase The Lion: If Your Dream Doesn't Scare You, It's Too Small by Mark Batterson. What I am going to share is from a section he titled Theory of Compensation which is found in Chapter 12, Run To The Roar.
"Around the turn of the twentieth century, Alfred Adler proposed the counterintuitive theory of compensation. Adler believed that perceived disadvantages often prove to be well-disguised advantages because they force us to develop attitudes and abilities that would have otherwise gone undiscovered. It's only as we compensate for those disadvantages that we discover our greatest gifts.
Seventy percent of the art students Adler studied had optical anomalies. He observed that some of history's greatest composers, Mozart and Beethoven among them, had degenerative traces in their ears. And he cited a multiplicity of other examples, from a wide variety of vocations, of those who leveraged their weaknesses by discovering new strengths. Adler concluded that perceived disadvantages, such as birth defects, physical ailments, and poverty, can be springboards to success. And that success is not achieved in spite of those perceived disadvantages. It's achieved because of them.
Subsequent studies have added credibility to Adler's theory. In one study of small-business owners, for example, 35 percent were self-identified dyslexics. While none of us would wish dyslexia on our children because of the academic challenge that comes with it, that disadvantage forced this group of entrepreneurs to cultivate different skill sets. Some of them became more proficient at oral communication because reading was so difficult. Others learned to rely on well-developed social skills to compensate for the challenges they faced in the classroom. And all of them cultivated a work ethic that might have remained dormant if reading had come easy to them."
"Destiny isn't revealed on sunny days. It's usually revealed on snowy days. Destiny isn't revealed while watching cute kitten videos. It's revealed when you cross paths with a five-hundred-pound lion. Destiny isn't just revealed in your natural gifts and abilities. It's also revealed in the compensatory skills you have to work extra hard to develop."
"You have gifts and abilities that you aren't even aware of, but they are often buried beneath perceived weaknesses. In those disadvantages, dreams are playing hide-and-seek."
A pretty profound perspective shift, isn't it? I can't help but think of those who seemingly fight for their disadvantages and those, who despite obvious disadvantages, act and believe as though their disadvantage doesn't even exist. I remember watching a story once of a young boy, several physically handicapped, who could seemingly do anything. When the reporter asked him how it felt to be disabled, he stated he didn't know he was disabled until someone told him.
I am drawn to the part that says, "well-disguised advantages because they force us to develop attitudes and abilities that would have otherwise gone undiscovered." It all, life, seems to begin with attitude, doesn't it? What is the difference between those fighting for their disadvantages and the boy who didn't know he was disabled until someone told him? Attitude. What is the difference between a challenge or an opportunity? Attitude.
Attitude is defined as, "a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior." Powerful. Complete. The way we think or feel about someone or something, which is typically reflected in our behavior. Do you think you are fearfully & wonderfully made? Created on purpose, for a purpose? Lacking nothing? In-spite of your flaws - we are all flawed somehow Friends? If you don't like where you are in your life right now, if you aren't happy with the way things are going, may I please, with a pure heart, suggest that perhaps you need to take an honest look at the way you are thinking about things? It really all does begin there, with our attitudes.
And I just stand in awe of the second part, the development of compensatory abilities. For me I think this is the ultimate goal, to become the best we are capable of becoming. No, my body might not look like yours, my mental faculties may not function like yours and I might not have the resources you have however I am still capable of becoming the best that I am capable of becoming. I pray that each of us, beginning with me, will truly strive for this - our individual greatness - regardless of our disadvantages.
I also want to share a few quotes with you, not necessarily related to the topic of compensation, that I came across this week that I thought were pretty stinkin' awesome.
"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." - David McKay
"How your kids treat others is shaped by how you treat others." - Unknown
"How you live your life is sending a message to those around you. More than your words, people are watching how you live." - Dean Tolson
"If you want to catch your dreams, you have to drop your fears." - Anton Rubaclini
"All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them." - Magic Johnson
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful Easter weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Friday, April 7, 2017
Thoughts & Ideas
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! Here is a quick thought for you; "Every day is a new beginning; treat it that way." - Lolly Daskal
This morning I want to share a few thoughts/ideas with you and then wrap up with a few excerpts.
1. Please strive every day to be the best version of you. You were created to be you, with wonderful talents, gifts & abilities. Your life has incredible value, meaning & purpose. You are perfectly equipped to fulfill your purpose if only you will strive to be all you were created to be, to close the gap between your potential and your reality. Sadly, many of us spend more of our time trying to be what other people want us to be, what society says we should be instead of striving relentlessly, valiantly to become all that God created us to be. It's really no wonder that with this so many folks walk around frustrated, discouraged, feeling as if they are failing in life. The reality is just as a lion would make a very poor elephant, you & I will make a very poor anyone else other than what we were created to be. My hope & prayer for each of us this morning is that we will recognize our God-given talents, gifts & abilities and that we will intentionally choose today - and every day that follows - to strive to reach our potential in each of those areas. You were uniquely created to be you. Be that...YOU!
2. It is really easy to find faults in others, and in ourselves for that matter. Today I want to encourage us to find the good in others, to catch them doing the right things, to expect them to do the right things. It really is true that we find/see what we are looking for. We can certainly choose to find the faults, the errors, the negativity in everyone we encounter today and what we will have is a fault filled, negative day. Look Friends, nobody is perfect...not even you or me! :) So let's just go ahead and get over that right now. Instead of searching for the negative, choosing to be offended, being certain that everyone is out to get us/ruin our day, lets look hard for the positive. Let's choose to extend mercy & grace. Let's realize that perhaps someone is having a bad day/moment and what they really need is for us to support & encourage them. Their bad day probably has nothing at all to do with you or I...we aren't that important! :) Let's choose - notice how many times the word "choose" has been used here?!?! - to be positive, to be encouraging and to find the good in ourselves and others!
3. Every day we make hundreds, perhaps thousands, of decisions. You decided what time you would get up this morning, what you would do first, if you would read this blog, etc. The decisions, many made somewhat thoughtlessly, are countless. Once you have made one, especially the big ones, don't look back, don't look from side to side...just walk it out and go for it. We get ourselves in trouble when we don't really commit to the decision, when we leave ourselves an escape route. Nobody, no situation is ever going to be perfect all the time. This does not mean the decision was bad, that you are wrong or that you should quit. It simply means that you are living life...and this can sometimes be difficult. I want to again remind us that it is working through the difficulties that things become truly meaningful. Difficulties, challenges & struggles are not necessarily a sign that you have made the wrong decision or that you are doing the wrong thing...sometimes they are simply an indicator that things are just getting ready to get good, that the relationships are just getting ready to become meaningful, that you are about to accomplish that goal/dream! Again, we will see what we look for, so let's look for the good and let's commit - I mean really commit - to walking our decision(s) out and making the very best of whatever that decision is/was.
I am absolutely loving Chase The Lion: If Your Dream Doesn't Scare You, It's Too Small by Mark Batterson. I want to strongly encourage you to read this book. This morning I want to share a few excerpts that spoke to my heart this week.
"If you judge a person by his or her actions, you're judging a book by it's cover. Reactions are far more revealing than actions. How you react in difficult circumstances is the litmus test of character. And you never really know how you'll react until you're the one who crosses paths with a lion.
Valor is running toward trouble when everyone else is running away.
Valor is going above and beyond the call of duty.
Valor is putting yourself in the line of fire for someone else."
"'The Christian is called upon not to be like a thermometer conforming to the temperature of his society,' said King, 'but he must be like a thermostat serving to transform the temperature of his society.'
King recognized that being different for difference's sake isn't the goal. The goal is to make a difference. And that takes the courage not just to stand but to stand alone."
Mark is referencing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's November 1954 sermon titled "Transformed Nonconformist."
"It's okay to talk to God about your problems, but at some point you need to talk to your problems about God."
"Fighters don't walk away when the going gets tough; they fight to the finish for their convictions. Fighters don't give up when everyone is against them; they fight against the status quo. And fighters don't shrink back when the odds are against them; they fight back for what they believe in.
There is a moment in every dream journey when you have to fight for what you believe in. It might be a marriage that is on the ropes, a child who is in rebellion, or a dream that is on life support.
Are you willing to fight for it?"
"We live in a culture that idolizes success and demonizes failure. But in God's kingdom the outcome isn't the issue. Success isn't winning or losing; it's obeying. It's honoring God whether you're in the red or the black. It's praising God whether you win the election or lose it. It's giving God the glory whether you're in the win column or the loss column."
"In God's book success is spelled stewardship. It's making the most of the time, talent and treasure God has given you. Its doing the best you can with what you have where you are."
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! Here is a quick thought for you; "Every day is a new beginning; treat it that way." - Lolly Daskal
This morning I want to share a few thoughts/ideas with you and then wrap up with a few excerpts.
1. Please strive every day to be the best version of you. You were created to be you, with wonderful talents, gifts & abilities. Your life has incredible value, meaning & purpose. You are perfectly equipped to fulfill your purpose if only you will strive to be all you were created to be, to close the gap between your potential and your reality. Sadly, many of us spend more of our time trying to be what other people want us to be, what society says we should be instead of striving relentlessly, valiantly to become all that God created us to be. It's really no wonder that with this so many folks walk around frustrated, discouraged, feeling as if they are failing in life. The reality is just as a lion would make a very poor elephant, you & I will make a very poor anyone else other than what we were created to be. My hope & prayer for each of us this morning is that we will recognize our God-given talents, gifts & abilities and that we will intentionally choose today - and every day that follows - to strive to reach our potential in each of those areas. You were uniquely created to be you. Be that...YOU!
2. It is really easy to find faults in others, and in ourselves for that matter. Today I want to encourage us to find the good in others, to catch them doing the right things, to expect them to do the right things. It really is true that we find/see what we are looking for. We can certainly choose to find the faults, the errors, the negativity in everyone we encounter today and what we will have is a fault filled, negative day. Look Friends, nobody is perfect...not even you or me! :) So let's just go ahead and get over that right now. Instead of searching for the negative, choosing to be offended, being certain that everyone is out to get us/ruin our day, lets look hard for the positive. Let's choose to extend mercy & grace. Let's realize that perhaps someone is having a bad day/moment and what they really need is for us to support & encourage them. Their bad day probably has nothing at all to do with you or I...we aren't that important! :) Let's choose - notice how many times the word "choose" has been used here?!?! - to be positive, to be encouraging and to find the good in ourselves and others!
3. Every day we make hundreds, perhaps thousands, of decisions. You decided what time you would get up this morning, what you would do first, if you would read this blog, etc. The decisions, many made somewhat thoughtlessly, are countless. Once you have made one, especially the big ones, don't look back, don't look from side to side...just walk it out and go for it. We get ourselves in trouble when we don't really commit to the decision, when we leave ourselves an escape route. Nobody, no situation is ever going to be perfect all the time. This does not mean the decision was bad, that you are wrong or that you should quit. It simply means that you are living life...and this can sometimes be difficult. I want to again remind us that it is working through the difficulties that things become truly meaningful. Difficulties, challenges & struggles are not necessarily a sign that you have made the wrong decision or that you are doing the wrong thing...sometimes they are simply an indicator that things are just getting ready to get good, that the relationships are just getting ready to become meaningful, that you are about to accomplish that goal/dream! Again, we will see what we look for, so let's look for the good and let's commit - I mean really commit - to walking our decision(s) out and making the very best of whatever that decision is/was.
I am absolutely loving Chase The Lion: If Your Dream Doesn't Scare You, It's Too Small by Mark Batterson. I want to strongly encourage you to read this book. This morning I want to share a few excerpts that spoke to my heart this week.
"If you judge a person by his or her actions, you're judging a book by it's cover. Reactions are far more revealing than actions. How you react in difficult circumstances is the litmus test of character. And you never really know how you'll react until you're the one who crosses paths with a lion.
Valor is running toward trouble when everyone else is running away.
Valor is going above and beyond the call of duty.
Valor is putting yourself in the line of fire for someone else."
"'The Christian is called upon not to be like a thermometer conforming to the temperature of his society,' said King, 'but he must be like a thermostat serving to transform the temperature of his society.'
King recognized that being different for difference's sake isn't the goal. The goal is to make a difference. And that takes the courage not just to stand but to stand alone."
Mark is referencing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's November 1954 sermon titled "Transformed Nonconformist."
"It's okay to talk to God about your problems, but at some point you need to talk to your problems about God."
"Fighters don't walk away when the going gets tough; they fight to the finish for their convictions. Fighters don't give up when everyone is against them; they fight against the status quo. And fighters don't shrink back when the odds are against them; they fight back for what they believe in.
There is a moment in every dream journey when you have to fight for what you believe in. It might be a marriage that is on the ropes, a child who is in rebellion, or a dream that is on life support.
Are you willing to fight for it?"
"We live in a culture that idolizes success and demonizes failure. But in God's kingdom the outcome isn't the issue. Success isn't winning or losing; it's obeying. It's honoring God whether you're in the red or the black. It's praising God whether you win the election or lose it. It's giving God the glory whether you're in the win column or the loss column."
"In God's book success is spelled stewardship. It's making the most of the time, talent and treasure God has given you. Its doing the best you can with what you have where you are."
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!
Kev
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