I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn.
This morning I am going to share a story with you about the pursuit of a dream. The fact that I am writing this on the 21st birthday of the dream chaser, my oldest Tender Warrior Payton, was not planned...at least not by me. Rather it is a statement about respecting the wishes of the dream chaser and a testament to God's perfect timing.
A little more than 3 years ago I wrote a "Happy Friday" that I titled "Launching a Tender Warrior." It was the story about our families journey to South Dakota as Payton began his 1st semester of college at a school where he had received a football scholarship. So now, here is the rest of the story...at least for now! :)
Payton adjusted really well to being away from home. He had a great Fall Camp and things were going really well with school & football. In about October things started to change. The tone in his voice was different and he no longer spoke with the optimism that was readily apparent in our conversations in August & September. I knew something was wrong however I did not know what it was. He started talking about possibly leaving, not being happy, etc. There was a defining moment for me in late October/early November. I was on a business trip and I was talking to Payton on the phone. We were talking about what was going on and it was readily apparent that he had already left, at least mentally. I called my Beautiful Bride and told her what I felt. We decided that we would sit down and talk with Payton when we all met in Arizona for Thanksgiving.
During the Thanksgiving break Kath, Payton & I went to Denny's for breakfast. Payton stated that he wanted to leave the school he was at, that he had a dream of playing Division I football and that he wanted to pursue that dream. We talked about what this meant. He was walking away from a scholarship. He would now be in a situation where nobody would care if he went to class, if he worked out, if he ever played football again. I told him his resolve would be tested as never before, that he was walking a path into darkness, where he would have to create his own way. I told him if this is in fact what he was going to do that he would 1) go to school, 2. get a job and 3. work out.
At Christmas Payton loaded up his car and drove himself home from South Dakota. He immediately got enrolled in a community college by our home, got a job at a mall and we got a membership to a gym so he could work out. The pursuit of the dream had begun...
The plan was that Payton would do these things and then tryout for one of the junior college football teams here in Texas and enroll there in the fall. The plan was going as we had, well, planned. We went to a tryout at a junior college and Payton was on point! He was a quarterback and his passes had zip and were on target...every time. I mean this kid did not miss a throw all day. I don't know in all the time that I have watched him as a QB that I had ever seen him have a better day. He and I went out to dinner afterwards to celebrate before making the drive home. We talked about how great he had done, what this would mean, etc. The coaches told the players they would hear something early the next week. Payton waited for a call or email, and waited. He finally started reaching out to the coaches. Calls, emails...crickets. No calls or emails returned. I would guess that Payton probably reached out to them 20 - 30 times...nothing. A lot of discouragement for sure. The opportunity for Payton to think and learn how he will represent himself when he is in a position of influence.
So Payton went back to the grind of school (without football for the first time in more than 5 years), work and working out. We enjoyed Saturday's watching college football together again and the plan was modified. In the spring he would find a different Junior College he could play at and then play his final fall, finish his associates degree and then try out for a Division I program. Again, our plan was apparently not God's plan and the opportunity did not present itself.
This was the only time that I thought the dream had died. While Payton continued to go to school, work & workout he was no longer talking about playing Division I football. My Beautiful Bride & I talked about the fact that he no longer mentioned it and we decided I would talk to him about it. When I asked Payton if he was done trying he, without a bit of hesitation and with great optimism in his voice said, "Oh no Dad, I am going to walk on at the University of Houston. Their tryouts are in February." Wow, I had no idea. While he was quiet about it, the passion for his dream was ragging inside like a wildfire out of control.
We again discussed the plan. Payton is a very good athlete however he doesn't have the height that most coaches want in a quarterback. Instead of trying to walk on as a quarterback he would walk on as a wide receiver. He would continue to do the things we had discussed and we would add workouts on Saturday's & Sunday's to the routine where I would teach him how to play wide receiver. For 16 years I had the privilege of being a college football coach and my start, my expertise if you will, was as a wide receivers coach. So we put that plan into action.
The weeks were a blur. Payton's schedule was packed with school, work and workouts. Because of the weight of his load he would often get up, go work out, head to school, work at night, come home, collapse and wake up the next day to begin the process again. Saturday's and most Sunday's found us at the practice football field at the high school by our home running through drill after drill. While he would talk about being tired on occasion, Payton never complained about the path he was walking...instead he talked about the attainment of the goal.
Excitement built in the Haslam household as the time for the tryout approached. And then, the first tryout was...postponed. And then, the second tryout out was...postponed. Finally, Friday, February 24th arrived. There was great excitement in our family as Payton got up early to go to his tryout which would start at 7:00 a.m. It was a pretty emotional time as Payton was going to step up to the line, put it all on the line, for a dream that he had aggressively began pursuing more than 2 years before. I reminded him of our conversation sitting at that Denny's that November morning. I pointed out that he now had an Associates Degree and was enrolled at the University of Houston in the program he wanted to be in, that he had gained 25 pounds of muscle in working out and that not only was he serving as a manager at a sandwich shop, he had also worked as a supervisor at the NFL Experience for the Super Bowl that had just been played in Houston. I told him it was now time to go claim the prize he had earned.
I can't begin to tell you the nervousness as we waited to hear word. While I knew Payton had done everything he could do, I also knew there were no guarantees. My Beautiful Bride and I talked about whether he made it or not, Payton had grown tremendously as a man. The very fact that he had so dedicated himself to the pursuit of his dream, the fact that he had overcome discouragement & disappointment, the fact that he been incredibly dedicated and disciplined in the pursuit of his dream...are all skills and experiences that will serve him well in life.
At 8:27 a.m. on Friday, February 24th Payton sent a text to Kath, Gehrig and I that said, "I want to cry...I made it" I yelled down the hall at work when I read it, and I DID cry. He made it!
Last Saturday our family had the privilege of watching Payton play in the Spring Game. It was a surreal moment when we reached the top of the stadium bowl and I looked down and saw him for the first time as a Division I college football player out on the field. He had a dream, he pursued it, he achieved it and he belongs.
There are a few things I want to share with you this morning.
1. Please pursue your dreams. Just as I couldn't promise Payton he would achieve his dream, I can't promise you that you will either. I can testify however that just as Payton grew tremendously as a person in the pursuit of the dream, you will as well. While you may or may not actually achieve what you are striving for, you will come closer to being all that you were created to become by pursuing it.
2. It's really easy for us to look at others and say things like, "things always work out for them" or "they are always lucky." While the outcome was what Payton was shooting for, please don't miss the moments of great disappointment and discouragement. There were 2 failed attempts, if you will, at the dream. Twice the silence was deafening. Twice the negative voices wanted to rise inside and tell him "you are not good enough," "you can't do this." He fought back those voices and in the absences of any tangible, external rewards he persevered.
3. Please notice that much of what Payton went through he had to do alone. There is nothing Payton can attribute to his success but God, faith and himself. Yes, our family supported and encouraged him however it was him, by himself, getting up early and going to the gym. Driving himself to classes and doing the work. Working at a job and staying there late. It is a lonely road sometimes chasing dreams however the journey develops the person.
4. Have the courage to believe in you. God has created each and every one of us, on purpose, for a purpose, lacking nothing. Please don't let this world define you or find your value in what the world says you are. You just go on about being the greatest you that you can be and pursue those precious, cherished dreams that reside deep within your soul.
5. God's timing is always perfect. It might not work out the way we think, want or hope however in the end, God's timing is always perfect.
I came across this quote this morning and want to share it with you:
"Your greatest responsibility in your life is to be the best version of yourself." - Shannon L. Alder
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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