I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new, steamy, day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast.
This time of year has always been a time of great reflection and re-purposing for me. As a football coach, this is the time of year the playbook is finalized - hopefully! - and you go on, or are wrapping up, vacation time. As a development professional, this is the time of year I look over my entire portfolio, analyze the goals & opportunities and chart my steps for the next 12 months. In essence, it is a time to hit the reset button - to get refocused, re-energized.
This morning I want to talk about two supplementary thoughts.
1. What matters most to you? If you & I are walking out the answer to that question in the lives we live every day there is most likely peace & contentment in our soul. And if we are not? Well, this usually leads to unhappiness & discontent.
Nobody can answer the question of what matters most to you but you. I can tell you what matters most to me - faith, family & serving others - however I cannot tell you what should matter most to you and neither can anyone else, including your spouse. The only thing the rest of us can do is witness what matters most to you by the life you live. And this is where the real rub comes in...when the words we speak to do not line up with the life we live. Not only does it cause great internal turmoil, it leaves those closest to us hurt & confused.
We, as humans, are really good at trying to give the "right" answer. The problem is there is not one universal, "right" answer. Each one of us is fearfully & wonderfully made, created on purpose for a purpose however those purpose are not exactly the same. The lives we have lived, the families we were born into, the experiences we have had, etc. are not exactly the same. All these things, the totality of what makes you you and me me, have shaped, molded & formed what matters most to each of us. So please Friends, stop trying to give the "right" answer and just give the real answer.
This leads to the 2nd point...
2. Discipline. I have been thinking a lot about this word over the course of the last week. Specifically, being disciplined in my thoughts, words & actions to line up with the things that matter most to me. I had a friend wisely tell me once that you have to fight for the things that matter most to you. This world, jobs, other people, are willing or will try, to get you off point, to lose your focus. It may not be intentional and I am not saying that it is mean-spirited...I am saying that there are so many things out there in this instant gratification world clamoring for our intention that if we don't intentionally determine on the front end what matters most to us and then fight relentlessly for these things every day, we will eventually find ourselves down a long path we never intended to walk.
In the deepest recesses of your heart you know what matters most to you...we all do. If there is not integrity between what matters most to us and the lives we are living every day there will be turmoil within our spirit. The path to this life giving integrity is found on the path of discipline. It is the discipline to think, say & do the things that line up with the things that matter most to us. It is the discipline to know what things to say yes to and what things to say no to. I am reminded of the expression, "You can do anything but you can't do everything."
At this point I am also reminded of the fact that with every "yes" there is a "no." That in walking out what matters most in your life there will be sacrifices. This doesn't necessarily mean it is a bad thing it just means you can't have and do everything. Let me give you a personal testimony. I decided a long time ago that, after my faith, my family matters most to me. I decided that, while acknowledging my weaknesses, I would fight every single day to be the best man, husband & father I could possibly be for my family. My Beautiful Bride and I decided that she would stay home with our boys until they went to school. In bringing what matters most to me in agreement with the life I live I decided that I wasn't going to be a workaholic. For the most part, by the grace of and with an inordinate amount of help from God, I have walked this out. Now, this has meant I have had to live in places further from my work because we couldn't afford the more expensive homes closer and thus, a longer commute. This has meant that I have not bought my "dream car" - that would be a Hummer! This has also meant that any day I don't have a work lunch I take my lunch to work instead of going out to eat. As a family we try to be really conscientious of the things we do and don't do, limiting when we will go out to eat, go to movies, etc. Poor Kev? Hardly!!!! I would argue I am one of the most blessed men, if not the most blessed, walking the face of this earth. While I have sacrificed many things in bringing what matters most to me into agreement with the life I have lived, the blessings from living this type of life are 1,000,000 times the sacrifices.
The first step Friends is the decision, or perhaps the recognition of the fact(s), of what matters most to you. The second step, which must be renewed and fought for every single day, is the discipline to walk it out. Always easy? No. Worth it? Absolutely! And the final thought/idea I will share with you is this; no matter what you say or do, until there is agreement between what really matters to you and the life you really live there will not be complete peace in you or your home.
Finally, I would be remiss if I did not share this quote what has truly become my life mantra:
"Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you." ~ Arthur Gordon
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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