Friday, December 29, 2017

Keep It Simple & Go For It

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday afternoon. I also hope you had a wonderful Christmas and that you are looking forward with hopeful anticipation to the new year. :)

As we are a few days away from New Years Day, and the subsequent New Years Resolutions, I wanted to share a couple of thoughts this afternoon.

1. This isn't all that difficult, let's not make it that way... I am talking about relationships here. How many times do we complicate things because we are waiting for someone else to do something? Or the time is not right? Or we don't know what they are going to say? Or do? Or...

The excuses, reasons, justifications, etc. can go on and on. And where do they get us? Right about where we are right now. Perhaps we should try something different. I want to encourage you Friend to think about this; if you think about calling someone, call. Or if you think about sending them a text or stopping by to see them, text or go see them. Let's stop the "what if" game and listen to the leading of our own hearts.

A couple of days ago I was talking to one of my Tender Warriors and I asked if he had wished a friend Merry Christmas. He said "no." When I asked why not he said because she had not wished him a Merry Christmas. I then said, "I thought you were a leader." He just looked at me. I said, "If you were a leader it wouldn't matter what she does or does not do. You would wish her Merry Christmas because it is who you are." I think he got it...

Another conversation was with a different family member. When asking about an old friend of his he said he had intended to call him on Christmas but had forgotten to do so. He hasn't spoken to the friend in quite a while. It was then pointed out that he could still call the friend today, that it didn't have to be Christmas. It was like this was a revolutionary kinda thought...

Let's not over-complicate this life, our relationships. Let's lay down the pride, bitterness, anger, resentment, regret, sorrow, shame or whatever else it might be that is holding us back and make the call, go see the person, etc. I pray that we will all remember that we don't own the other persons action or reaction, we only own our own. If we will just answer to the call of our own spirit, stay true to it, everything else will take care of itself. This doesn't mean every person will respond the way we want them to respond however we will leave with a greater peace in our own spirits and this Sweet Friends, is priceless.

Another thing along this same line that my Beautiful Bride and I talked about just this morning, we gotta be intentional, especially relationally. Do you like getting calls, receiving emails or having someone stop by to see you? So does everyone else! And we love to receive handwritten notes - it says I really care about you. Please be intentional, especially with the ones closest to you. Take time to think about them - their wants, needs, hopes, fears - and take intentional action to let them know you love them, you care about them, that you are there for them, to encourage them. It's funny, we all want great relationships however are we really willing to invest in them, to pour selflessly into another person, to genuinely care about them and love on them where they are? This is the water & fertilizer to great relationships! We don't get what we want in this life, we get what we work for. That is why the saying is true; the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it is greener where you water it.

2. Let's go for it...whatever the hope, goal or dream, let's make 2018 the year that we truly pursue it! I get worry, fear, uncertainty...and I get being in the exact same spot! The only way things are going to change is if we change the things we think, say & do. 

Now, I am not talking pie in the sky type thinking and anything can happen stuff here. I am talking about the hopes, goals & dreams that are buried in the deepest recesses of your heart. The things that you have always been good at and wanted to do however have not taken steps to do so. I am talking about the person who has always been good at, and enjoyed, writing but hasn't written the book they dreamed of writing. Or the person who is good at painting or drawing who hasn't painted or drawn in years. Or perhaps it is a genuine heart you have for something - with the subsequent talents, gifts & abilities to successfully make a difference - however you haven't taken steps or done anything to make it happen. These are the one's I am referring to here... In 2018, let's lay down the excuses and let's pursue the calling of our own spirits.

This certainly won't be easy. We are going to need to thoughtfully consider where we gain our strength. The battle is sure to be a good one. If we are truly going to pursue the greatness within us, held in the hopes, goals & dreams of our heart, we are going to have to have great perseverance & strength. It will be perseverance & strength greater than anything another person or society as a whole can give to you or me. For me I will place my hope in the Lord and seek His face daily as I pursue my greatness.

The one thing I have determined; I will not sit here at this computer in another year and tell you that I did not go for my hopes, goals & dreams. I will not tell you that I let worry or fear keep me from taking a step into the unknown. I don't know what life will look like 365 days from today but I know that I will live each day, 365 times over, to the very best of my ability, seeking God's leading in my life and I will be at peace with whatever results my life brings.

Finally, I want to share a couple of quotes with you to end this last Happy Friday of 2017.

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

"The Core of the Warriors Soul ~ A belief strong enough both to live for and to die for." - Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, Happy New Year and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Friday, December 22, 2017

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn! 3 days left until Christmas... :)

You know what my favorite Christmas memory as a child is? I was 5 or 6 years old. My Nano & Grandpa came over to stay the night at our house on Christmas Eve. My Grandpa slept in my room with me on a lawn chair. When we went to bed we laid there talking. I can still see the glow of the Christmas lights shining through my bedroom window. I can still hear his voice & his laugh. I can still feel his presence that night more than 40 years ago...and my heart smiles.

Last week we celebrated Christmas with my work family. I asked the same question sitting at the table - "What is your favorite Christmas memory as a child?" - and we all went around and answered. Every single person talked about family, friends and all being together. Nobody talked about the latest, greatest toy or some gift that they had hoped for all year long. No, what every single person talked about was the gifts around the tree, not those under the tree.

Friends, the greatest gift you can give anyone this Christmas is you. The authentic, fully present you! Yes, I know...the kids want [fill in the blank] and they just have to have it. I mean, they really "need" it. Ya, I hear the same stuff...and so did my parents...and in fact parents have heard it for generations. The reality is what everyone really wants, and needs, is you & me. To have conversations (not texts, snap chats, tweets, etc.), to really get to know one another, to really connect with each other...yes, this is the greatest gift you or I can give anyone. 

So please, set down the phone, focus on today and the people you are blessed to be with today...and then make the same choice tomorrow. If you will string several of these days together as you gather with family & friends over the next week I promise you that you will be the answer to the question, "What is your favorite Christmas memory?" in 40 years! :)

I also feel a conviction to say this; some will jump up and down saying the greatest gift you can give is Jesus. Or the salvation that comes from accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior. Here is the thing; Jesus is not yours to give and neither is salvation - those both belong to God. You and I are not called to do the saving but to do the loving, the caring, the serving. And how do we show we love, we care and how do we serve? By being fully present! :) We can preach & preach at people or we can live the sermon. Guess which one will have the greater success rate?!?!

Merry Christmas to you & your families Friends!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Friday, December 15, 2017

What Do You Believe?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day dawns!

This morning I want to touch on the front end of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" The things that we pour into our own hearts, minds & souls. It is these things that determine the influence we will have on every person we cross paths with this and every day.

What do you believe? I mean really believe to the depths of your soul. In researching this Happy Friday - yes, I actually do research for these! :) - I came across a blog post that captures the question perfectly. It is taken from the Single Dad Laughing blog and it was written by Dan Pearce on May 19, 2011. Here is the passage that gets to the heart of the question I am asking us this morning:

"'Dan, why do you believe what you believe?'

I answered that it was what I had been taught. I answered that I believed in it because it felt right. He replied, "Have you ever questioned it?" I told him I had. He then repeated his question. "Have you ever really questioned it?" I began to fidget uncomfortably. "I mean, have you ever really had the courage to learn how you might be wrong a the same time that you've worked so hard to prove yourself right? Have you ever really had the courage to accept the possibility that something else might actually be right?" I had to think for a minute. I told him I didn't know and that I didn't really need to because I was confident in my beliefs.

He looked at me and smiled. "Dan, would you bank everything you have on your beliefs?" I told him I thought I would. "Are you so sure of your beliefs that you would give your life for them?" He was very serious. I didn't answer. "Would you bet your son's life on your beliefs?" I didn't answer. "Would you lose everything, including the people you love most to stand behind your beliefs?" Again, I didn't answer.

Instead, I silently attempted to gauge my believes without showing my own sudden vulnerabilities. Would I give up everything when it actually came down to it? Would I die for my beliefs? Did I really believe what I believed that I believed? I finally looked at him and said, "No, I wouldn't."

His reply was simple, and I'll never forget it. "Then they're not really your beliefs. They're somebody else's beliefs. They're borrowed beliefs. And until you make them your own, you're living somebody else's life." I didn't have an answer. I didn't really want to go where he was taking me. I'd been avoiding it most of my life. He took advantage of my continued silence. "It doesn't matter what you believe, Dan. It matters how you believe and why you believe. And until you honestly, and I mean honestly question your beliefs, including how they might be both right and wrong, you can't truly claim those beliefs as your own.'"

Anyone else feel like they have been hit right between the eyes with a 2 x 4?!?! :)

One, make that two, things I would say...
1. I believe it does matter what you believe however I don't believe I have the right to tell you what you should/have to believe. God is a God of free will so who am I to think I have the right to tell you what you should/have to do? Your life journey is yours and mine is mine. As the saying goes, we all have to do our own living and dying.

2. I believe that we all do believe in something. We walk this belief out every day in where we go for strength, in the thoughts we have, the words we speak and the things we do. I don't believe it is a question of "Do you believe?" but rather a questions of "What do you believe?" Honestly...

The second thing I want to touch on is "Where do you go to get your strength?" It is directly tied back to the question of "What do you believe?" for what we believe will directly influence where we go to find strength when - not if, when - the storms of life come. We all will turn to something. What is it?

At this point I don't want to pretend to have any answers. I simply want to share two scriptures that speak deeply to my heart...every time. When I am worried, stressed, concerned, fearful...or if I just need to remind myself what I believe. :)

"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength." - 2 Timothy 4: 17

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 
- Isaiah 41: 10

Finally, I have come across several really good quotes in the last few weeks...just want to share some of them with y'all this morning!

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Fill your mind with truth, your heart with love, your life with service." - Unknown

"Each day you are leading by example. Whether you realize it or not or whether it's positive or negative, you are influencing those around you." - Rob Liano

"There will always be somebody more successful, and more talented. But you're not running their race. You're running your race." - Germany Kent

"Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference." - Jane Goodall

"Every thought you have during the day will either disempower or empower you. Be kind to yourself. YOU are braver than your fears and much bigger than your worries." - Gordana Biernat

"Every day focus on your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don't get burned out because of what we do, we get burned out because we forget why we do it." - Jon Gordon

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families...only 10 days until Christmas! :)

Kev

Friday, December 8, 2017

An Incredible Alarm Clock

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you! It is truly a magical morning on the Winter Wonderland known as the Texas Gulf Coast...it's snowing! Truly beautiful!

I came across an awesome quote last week that I want to share with all of you...

"Purpose is an incredible alarm clock." - Unknown

You know what the easiest day of the week for me to wake up? Friday! At this point I have already had 4 days of getting up pretty early, going through my routine of reading, working out, going to work, coming home & spending time with my precious family, falling into bed exhausted only to get up in somewhere between 4 - 7 hours to do it all over again. Then on Friday I get up a little bit earlier so I have time to write Happy Friday and do all of the above all over again. And sometimes, like this morning, it gets a little more challenging...6 1/2 hours ago my flight landed in Houston and about 5 hours ago I was going to bed. You know what nearly never changes? I fly out of bed on Friday morning!

Now the reality is, I fly out of bed most every morning. Equally real however is the reality that I fly out of bed on Friday with even a little bit more excitement...yes, I drive my Beautiful Bride crazy! :) But why? Why do I fly out of bed most every morning and do so even a little more eagerly - yes, I put getting out of bed and eagerly in the same sentence! - on Friday's? I believe the answer is found in this simple little quote. I have shared before, I have absolutely no doubt that my purpose in life is to encourage, empower & equip people to become the best they are capable of becoming. As long as there are people, or even a single person, walking the face of this earth, I have a purpose to fulfill and thus, meet each day with excitement. And Friday's? Well, on those days there is a direct link between my purpose and an action I need to take - writing Happy Friday. I can unequivocally say that it is true, purpose is an incredible alarm clock!

So Sweet Friend, how are you in the morning? Do you fly out of bed? Are you excited for your day? Most every day? If the answer is yes, good for you! Keep striving every day to pursue your purpose...we need you! If the answer is no, perhaps it is time to really sit back and ask yourself a few questions. Why do you do what you do? What is most important to you - look at your actions, not your words...this will tell you the true answer to this question? What difference will it have made that you lived? When you find clarity to your purpose you will greet your morning with much more excitement.

Now, a few things here:
1. I would say it took me about 42 years of life to be able to put my purpose into that nice little one sentence. There were indicators, things that were leading me down my trail however it took 42 years to be able to say it, and feel it to the depths of my soul, to be able to put it into a succinct sentence. Be kind to you Friend...you will figure it out if you intentionally strive to do so.

2. Don't get caught up in trying to determine whether your purpose is "good" or "bad," "important" or "unimportant," etc. There is no good or bad, important or unimportant...every single purpose is important. Rating things as good or bad, important or unimportant is the business of a fallen, broken world. It is not the business of God. Think about that for a minute. 

"God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.

A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have." - 1 Corinthians 12: 6 - 11

"In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad." - 1 Corinthians 12: 22 - 26

I told you! :)

3. I also want to share this reading I came across this week. This excerpt comes from Christ-Based Leadership: Applying the Bible and Today's best Leadership Models to Become an Effective Leader by David Stark:

Wayne Cordero, pastor of a large church in Hawaii, challenges the thinking of laypeople around the country. He begins by asking a large audience how may present are full-time ministers. When I heard him speak, I was sitting in a crowd of four thousand people; about four hundred of us raised our hands.

Wayne said, "Thank you." Then he told us that he believes God is up to: "God wants to take a full-time minister and disguise her as a chemical engineer, so we can win chemical engineers to Christ...He wants to take a full-time minister and disguise him as the elementary principal, so we can influence the character and values of countless students...He wants to take a full-time minister and disguise her as a stay-at-home Mom, so we can build the children for the church's next generation."

Though his point became obvious after the first couple of examples, Wayne went on this way for ten minutes. He then paused and asked, "How many full-time ministers do we have with us today?" Four thousand hands shot up.

"That is the church of Jesus Christ," he concluded. "That is our definition of success."

Your life has great value, meaning & purpose. I pray that you will find it and then spend every day of your life striving to fulfill it!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Friday, December 1, 2017

It's Really Pretty Simple

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new opportunity begins to dawn! It's the 1st of December...such a beautiful time of year!

I love Hallmark movies! It has become a Haslam family tradition to watch them together this time of year. Yes, the ultimate outcome is pretty predictable however they are often filled with faith, hope & love...things that make the spirit soar!

Earlier this week we were watching one of these movies and there is a scene where a woman almost gets hit by a car. A complete stranger, risking her own life and completely unconcerned about the groceries she carries in her arms, pulls the woman out of the way and they both tumble to the ground. The woman who has just been saved asks the woman, "How can I ever repay you?" The disheveled woman, picking up her groceries that have spilled all over the pavement says, "Go help someone who needs help."

You know how we always hear, are always told, that we need to be careful what we, and our children, watch on TV? That it impacts the way we see things, the way we do things and our attitude. It does a heart good when the next morning in the Haslam family group text message - yes, we have one of those! :) - the Little Preacher, my 12-year old Tender Warrior Landry, sends a message to the whole family that says, "Love you and go help someone that needs help."

Why do we make all of this, life, so complicated? It's really pretty simple. When someone needs help, help them. That's it. The help may be big, like pulling someone out of danger, or it may be very small, like opening a door or even simply smiling at someone. Did you know that smiling at someone is actually a form of helping them? If you have ever had a day that was overwhelming, where everything that can go wrong seems to do so, when you feel completely lost & alone...if someone smiled at you on that day then you fully understand that a smile is in fact a way of helping someone.

So that is Challenge 1 of this Happy Friday - to go out this day and help someone who needs help. Be aware of those around you, don't just look with earthly eyes and through the prism of your wants, goals & desires but to see with spiritual heart & eyes, to see others for who they are, where they are and, if you can, help them. A simple concept with an incredibly profound impact!

The other thing I want to share this week is based on something I heard on the radio this week, and it directly ties back to the Happy Friday I wrote about Legacy a couple of weeks ago. On Wednesday the announcers were talking about the fact that Matt Lauer had just been fired from the "Today Show" for "inappropriate sexual behavior." The announcer was talking about the fact that Matt had been reporting on all of these other individuals who had been fired for inappropriate sexual behavior prior to his own firing. He then went on to talk about how we like to sit back and pick apart others for their faults, failures & weaknesses...something that has, sadly, become like the new national pastime. 

Everyone of us has fault, failures & weaknesses...every single one of us. The Bible, in 1 John 1:8 tells me this is true; "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." There is a quote that is a great reminder - "Don't judge others because they sin differently than you."

Now, this doesn't excuse Matt's, or anyone else's, behavior when they do inappropriate things. I think this is where we get hung up as a society. His behavior was wrong, is completely unacceptable and thus, he was fired and will possibly face legal consequences. It isn't about whether it was right or wrong...it was clearly wrong and is being handled accordingly. But for you & I it is what we do with it next...

Matthew 7: 3 - 5 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Let me ask you this; what good, life giving thing will come from you sitting around your dinner table with your family talking about what a [fill in the blank] Matt is for what he has done - or anyone else for what they have done? Or how about with your co-workers? Or friends? Simply put, absolutely nothing. If we are wise we would focus on ourselves, the leading of the spirit within us about the things we need to clean up - the planks we need to remove - in our own lives.

A couple of things I feel my spirit telling me I need to say:
1. I am not saying look away and enable another's inappropriate behavior. If someone is doing something wrong, hurting another, etc. I pray we will have the strength, courage, knowledge & wisdom to intervene. This is Biblical as well. You see, there are people that have done this in the case of Matt...which means your & my 2 cents is not needed.

2. What I am talking about is when we are on the outside of the situation, when we are not directly involved. Here I am encouraging us to be different, to not judge and to focus on ourselves...I am encouraging us to walk out Matthew 7: 1 - 5.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev