Choices

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! It is going to be a great day! :)

Choices... We all have them to make. We do make chooses, sometimes intentionally and sometimes we mindlessly choose because, well, that is what we have always done. And sometimes we choose not to choose which, ironically, is a choice. There are a couple of things about choices however that are true, whether we like it or not - and truthfully, I didn't like to even read these quotes at times because I didn't want them to be true. Because I choose to ignore them at different points in my life however did not change the truth they contain.

"You are free to choose, but you are not free to alter the consequences of your decisions." - Ezra Taft Benson

"Your life is determined by the sum of the choices that YOU make." - Frank Sonnenberg

I think there are really two key things to choices:

1. We are accountable for the one's we make, or don't. Most, if not all, of us get hung up on this point. We don't want to be accountable, responsible. It goes back to Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden...it's someone else's fault. This however is not true. While you & I cannot control our circumstances or what others think, say & do, you and I are 100% responsible for the things we think, say & do, regardless of the situation or circumstance. We might not like it but it's true. And it is equally true that each choice has a consequence which is also ours to own. Until we realize & accept this fact, we will remain stuck.

2. This one hit me this week and I want to share it with you; you can choose different! Just because you have done something the same way for a long time doesn't mean you have to continue to do it. If the choice isn't bringing you to the place where you want to be, choose different. I pray the peace that came over me at this awakening finds your heart this morning Friend. :)

You think the things you think, say & do don't matter? This morning when I woke my mind immediately went to thinking about this Happy Friday. And you know what immediately popped into my mind? The Serenity Prayer. This might not seem like a big deal to you until I tell you that I remember the Serenity Prayer because my Nan0 & Grandpa had it in their house...this is what I remember. I remember as a little boy of 6 or 7-years old, sitting there and reading it, not fully understanding it but being drawn to it. Now, as a man of 50-years old, I can see myself sitting in their house reading that prayer and, with life's experiences, I understand it with so much greater clarity. Yes Moms & Dads, Grandma's & Grandpa's, Aunt's & Uncle's...the things we fill the precious lives we are responsible for with really does matter. I want to share this prayer with you this morning.

Serenity Prayer

by Reinhold Niebuhr

"God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next."

You know what's funny? All I knew was the 1st paragraph, stanza or whatever you call it. I didn't even know the part about "Living one day at a time" until this morning. The learning never ends! :) In any event, I pray this prayer speaks to you and that you use it as a tool as you make choices.

Also this morning, while reading Seize the Day: Living On Purpose And Making Every Day Count by Joyce Meyer I came across a few excerpts that I felt compelled to share in this message.

Complaining is a negative practice.

Prayer combined with taking action according to God's guidance is the only answer to any problem we have.

Quite often the people who complain the loudest are the ones who do absolutely nothing to help change the circumstances they are complaining about.

When we complain we remain in the same situation, but if we are willing to take responsibility and make positive changes, God will give us direction as to what to do.

God created us to be active, and we simply don't function well unless we have the mind-set to find solutions to our problems instead of murmuring and being unhappy. God will definitely show us what to do if we are willing to do it!

Replace all grumbling with gratitude and you will find solutions to your problems quickly.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - I Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebelcom.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Intentional

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday afternoon.

This week I want to share one thought/idea/"Aha!" moment I had this week and two different tools that I hope will be useful to you.

The "Aha!" Moment...

There is a battle, a struggle, I have had for a number of years. It is something I have thought & prayed about a lot. I want to change things, and intend to do so, however I never have. Earlier this week I had an "Aha!" moment; of course nothing has changed, while I have talked & prayed about it, I have never planned to make it happen. Simple? Yes. And somehow I had continually overlooked it.

And then yesterday I had the honor & privilege of speaking to a group of young leaders. During my talk I hear myself saying, "you have to develop a plan & work the plan." I would appreciate it right now if you would stop laughing at me! :) I continued on, "You have to be intentional. There is a big difference between going for a drive and driving to a specific destination." You can continue reading Happy Friday when you are done laughing at me...

A quick Google Search gives the following definition of intentional; "done on purpose; deliberate." I love that! "Done on purpose!" So Dear Friends, do you wanna join me in being intentional? Perhaps there is something you, like me, have been wanting and meaning to do however you have just not done it yet. Instead of living with the condemnation, sorrow, guilt, etc. perhaps we simply need to make a plan to become all that we were created to become! :)

Tool #1

Back on January 1st I saved this that Jon Gordon had shared on Twitter. I have been meaning to share with all of you...I guess I will intentionally do so today! :) From Jon Gordon:

"20 Tips For A Positive New Year

1. STAY POSITIVE
You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. TAKE A DAILY "THANK YOU WALK"
You can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. Feel blessed and you won't be stressed.

3. EAT HEALTHIER FOODS
that grow on trees and plants and less foods manufactured in plants.

4. TALK TO YOURSELF
instead of listening to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself with words of truth and encouragement.

5. NO ENERGY VAMPIRES ALLOWED
Post a sign that says "No Energy Vampires Allowed." Gandhi said, "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."

6. BE A POSITIVE TEAM MEMBER
Being positive doesn't just make you better, it makes everyone around you better.

7. DON'T CHASE SUCCESS
Decide to make a difference and success will find you.

8. GET MORE SLEEP
You can't replace sleep with a double latte.

9. DON'T WASTE YOUR ENERGY
Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.

10. LOVE, SERVE AND CARE
You don't have to be great to serve but you have to serve to be great. Look for opportunities to Love, Serve and Care.

11. REMEMBER YOUR WHY
Live your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don't get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.

12. LOVE THE PROCESS
Remember there's no such thing as an overnight success. Love the process and you'll love what the process produces.

13. HAVE TRUST
Trust that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.

14. NO COMPLAINING RULE
Implement the No Complaining Rule. If you're complaining you're not leading.

15. READ MORE
Read more books than you did in 2017. I happen to know of a few good ones. :)

16. DON'S SEEK HAPPINESS
Instead live with love, passion and purpose and happiness will find you.

17. FOCUS ON "GET TO"
Focus on "Get to" vs "Have to." Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.

18. GET BACK UP
The next time you "fail" remember that it's not meant to define you. It's meant to refine you.

19. SMILE & LAUGH MORE
They are natural anti-depressants.

20. ENJOY THE RIDE
You only have one ride through life so make the most of it!"

Tool #2

It was posted on Facebook and it is attributed to crystal twaddell.com. 

"You Are Who God Says You Are

• You are Beautiful ~ Ps. 45:11
• You are Unique ~ Ps. 139.13
• You are Loved ~ Jer. 31:3
• You are Special ~ Eph. 2:10
• You are Created with a Purpose ~ Jer. 29:11
• You are Cared For ~ Eph. 17,18,19
• You are Lovely ~ Dan. 12:3
• You are Precious ~ I Cor. 6:20
• You are Strong ~ Ps. 18:35
• You are Important ~ I Pet. 2:9
• You are Forgiven ~ Ps. 103:12
• You are a New Creation ~ 2 Cor. 5:17
• You are Protected ~ Ps. 121:3
• You are Empowered ~ Phil. 4:13
• You are Chosen ~ Jn. 15:16
• You are Family ~ Eph. 2:19
• You are Mine ~ Is. 43:1"

As with any tool, or endeavor, we must intentionally choose to use them. Are we intentionally filling our wells? Are we intentional when the storms of life come?  Or are we being blown back & forth by the day/circumstance/storm? Let's be intentional Friends! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Home

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this chilly Friday morning on the Texas Gulf Coast!

This week my Chocolate Lab, Lexus, taught me a valuable lesson...or reminded me. I absolutely adore this dog!!! My Beautiful Bride says I don't think she does anything wrong. I am sure there is something I think she did wrong at some point, I just don't remember it right now! :)

On Tuesday night Kath pointed out that there is a spot on the couch that is Lexus' spot, right by the reclining chair. She always lays there, her head lifted up on the edge of the couch so she can see what we are all doing in the kitchen. 

Wednesday morning I let our precious Beagle, Chloe, in and then of course our rambunctious puppy Lexus. After finishing my morning coffee and reading I went to the living room however Lexus wasn't in "her spot." No, she was on the completely other side of the couch, curled up in a ball. When I walked over there I found that she was perfectly curled around Chloe who was laying under a blanket. Lexus' spot? Well you see, Chloe is always laying in that reclining chair that Lexus lays next to when in "her spot." On Wednesday morning her spot changed because Chloe wasn't there. It then hit me, her spot is wherever Chloe is!

Yesterday morning, while listening to the radio during my morning reading, the DJ's were talking about small churches vs. mega churches. Most of the callers were talking about how small churches are better because they feel connected, know people, etc. Then a lady called in and said that she went to a mega church and that she felt at home. She then noted that it is the relationships that make it feel like a home, not the size of the church.

Do you remember the TV show "Cheers"? O.K., I am dating myself here. It was a sitcom in the 80's, set in a Boston bar. There are lyrics to the theme song that have come to my mind, I will find myself randomly singing them, a number of times over the years. Here they are:

"Sometimes you wanna go.

Where everybody know your name

And they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

The troubles are all the same.

You wanna be where everybody knows your name"

I also feel compelled to share that if you, like me, believe in God and Heaven then you know that this life is not home. There is a God who created us on purpose for a purpose for which He has gift us perfectly, who sent His son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can go back home, who not only knows our names, thoughts, worries & fears but also has every hair on our heads numbered! And just like Lexus with Chloe, the lady at church and the desire of all of us to go where people know our names, God wants to have a relationship with us!

You see Friends, home isn't about a location or a structure. It is about the people who are in your life, wherever you are. You could live in the biggest, most beautiful mansion in the prettiest location and be homeless. And you can live in a cardboard box with people you love, and who love you, deeply and have the most beautiful home. If you don't feel love & warmth in your home, don't look to change the location or structure, look to strengthen & deepen your relationships. It is in these, the people you love & who love you, where the love & warmth of home will be found.

I am going to close with a few quotes for you:

"Home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there any more." - Robin Hobb

"Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go." - Sarah Dessen

"The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya Angelou

"I don't care if we have our house, or a cliff ledge, or a cardboard box. Home is wherever we all are, together." - James Patterson

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." - J.E. McCulloch

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Is It Safe?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday evening on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)

I have a question for all of us; is it safe for our family & friends to be who they really are with us? Without rebuke? Ridicule? Being told they are wrong, dumb, stupid, worthless, [any other demeaning adjective you want to add here]? Is it safe?

Isn't that what we all really want...to be who we are as we grow to who we were created to be? Do you like having all of your faults, failures, mistakes, etc. pointed out to you all the time? Do you like constantly being told by others how you should be living your life? What you should be doing? Who you should be with, or without? If we are truly honest the answer to all these questions is "no."

At this point, all the perfect people can stop reading. O.K., great! We lost nobody! Again, if we are truly honest, there is not one of us breathing - who has ever breathed a breath - that doesn't have faults, who hasn't made mistakes...except one and we nailed Him to a tree.

I was having a conversation with some folks who are very dear to me a couple of days ago and I was using the word "love." The beautiful woman kept saying, "I do love them." And there is absolutely no doubt she does. I then felt convicted in my spirit to say this; "I know you love them however are they safe to just be who they really are around you?" There was a moment of deep silence that answered the question. This loving woman then said, "But I don't agree..." And I said, "It's not about you." THIS, I believe, is the key point; you & I are not called to judge others or to tell them how they should live their lives...we are simply called to love them for who they are, where they are. This does not mean we agree with everything they say & do, that we think everything they do is the right thing, that we would make the choices they make, etc. Again, those things are not about us...it is their life & they are free to choose how they live it just as you & I are. What is 100% about you & I is making it safe to be who they are and to feel loved, valued, appreciated & accepted. And for those who want to get all self-righteous I simply want to encourage you to read the Bible...really read it, not searching for scriptures that are taken out of context to try to prove your point. When you do you will find that Jesus constantly hung out with the thieves, the prostitutes, the drunks, the broken in all forms and He fought tirelessly against the ones with all the answers, who went around telling everyone how they should live their lives...let that sink in for a moment Friends.

At this point I feel I must clearly state I am not talking about enabling. To love an alcoholic is to make it safe to be who he/she is, to come alongside them, to hug them, to talk to them, to truly value & appreciate them as a person, to try to make sure they have food, clothing & shelter...this would follow our Biblical example. To go buy them alcohol would be enabling. What I am advocating for us to make it safe, not to enable.

Another point I think is critically important to make is this also doesn't mean that you don't live your truth. Just as we want our family & friends to be safe being who they are, you & I are safe to be who we are as well. I don't really know where or when we began to think that we have to agree on everything, to live these pretend perfect lives in order to value, appreciate, care about and love one another. I have tons of friends, genuine friends who I truly love & care deeply about, who have vastly different values, beliefs, lifestyles, etc. than I do. We have healthy conversations and we genuinely love one another. There is no desire on either half to critique, demean or tell someone else how they should be living their life. There is just a healthy respect for one another and deep love & gratitude.

Earlier this week I had lunch with a great man I am so very blessed that God brought into my life. He was telling me about one of his children who has completely walked away from their faith. Yell? Scream? Tell this precious child how wrong the choices & decisions are that are being made? No, my friends reaction, with much leading & guiding of the Holy Spirit, was vastly different. You know what he did?!?! He told this precious one that there is nothing the child could do or say to make him love the child less and he wanted to make sure the child knew that there would always be a place at the table in the family home, no matter what the child did/does. And the child, upon hearing this, immediately turned the other direction and ran back to the faith, right? No. Upon hearing the Dad say this, the child respond with, "I am going to test you in that." Mad? Upset? No, this incredible man responded calmly with, "Go for it." Wow!!! The faith!!! This Friends is a perfect picture - a real life, unfolding at this minute example - of making it safe for a child who is on a different path right now to be who he/she is while having the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father walked out by the child's earthly father. How different would this world be if all of our family members and friends knew that there is nothing they could say or do to make us love them less, and that there would always be a seat for them at our tables?!?! Blows my mind to even consider...

I hope you, like I, are really considering this question; is it safe? Since the conversation where this question first came up to the lunch with my friend I have been thinking a lot about it. Do my family members know that they are free to be who they are and that I will love, respect, value & appreciate them? And that they are always welcome to a seat at the table in my home? Do my friends? Am I really walking out what Jesus demonstrated? Here are a few quotes that I have come across in these last few days that I want to share with all of you.

"Truth and love are the two necessary ingredients for any relationship with integrity. Love - because all positive relationships begin with friendship, appreciation, respect. And truth - because no relationship of trust can long grow from dishonesty, deceit, betrayal; it springs up from the solid stuff of integrity...These are the two arms of genuine relationship: Confrontation with truth. Affirmation with love.

I grow most rapidly when a brother supports me with the arm of loving respect, then confronts me with the arm of clear honesty. Confronting and caring bring growth. Confrontation plus acceptance equals growth. This is how God relates to us." - David Augsburger

"Accept the children the way we accept trees - with gratitude, because they are a blessing - but do not have expectations or desires. You don't expect trees to change, you love them as they are." - Isabel Allende

"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love." - Stephen Kendrick

"Indeed, a quick glance around this broken world makes it painfully obvious that we don't need more arguments on behalf of God; we need more people who live as if they are in covenant with Unconditional Love, which is our best definition of God." - Robin R. Meyers

"Unconditional love is the greatest gift we can ever give." - Amy Leigh Mercree

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev