We All Need A Champion

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

Thursday night Gehrig had a baseball game. I love going to my kids' games. I love to simply watch my boys and their teammates play and I enjoy visiting with the families and friends that are there to support them. On Thursday I saw and heard something that I never thought I would see or hear...

The other team scored 1 run in the 1st inning but there wasn't much hitting for either team. Both teams had a pretty good pitcher on the mound and it was mostly 3 up, 3 down kinda stuff. Then, in the 4th or 5th inning one of our hitters, a Sophomore, roped one to the right-center gap. An easy double the coach waived the player to try for 3rd. The ball arrived slightly before the runner and he was out. A great hit, a great job by the outfielder and the infielders with both the relay and the tag. And then it happened... All of the sudden you hear a 30/40-year old full grown male (I will not use the word "man" as the words, actions & behaviors were those of a little boy, at best, and not those of a man) yell "You are not fast enough!" Laughs. "You gotta get faster." More laughs. My mouth falls open. Am I really hearing a parent ridiculing and heckling a high school kid?!?! 

Our team then took the field. There was a ball hit up the middle and our shortstop ran across and tried to make the play but couldn't. Then comes, "Your glove has a hole in it!" And "You need to get a new glove!"

How did we get here? How is it that a 30/40-year old thinks it is appropriate to make fun of and ridicule 15, 16 & 17-year olds? And how do some find this funny? Acceptable? Sad, gut-wrenching & infuriating. 

So a couple of things to clear up before moving on. 1. Our team won the game 6 - 1 so please understand, this is not a crying sour grapes thing. It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with kids - ours & theirs (the same person yelled, "It's about time!" when the coach went out to remove their pitcher). 2. I did say something. I yelled "Are you really heckling high school kids? Real classy!" The laughing and comments stopped after that point. 2. And when their Head Coach came out to go to the 3rd base coaches box I yelled to him, "You run way to classy of a program to have parents heckling high school players." His pace slowed considerably. I know my words were heard and, at least for a night, the nonsense stopped. Whether there will be lasting change at that school, I have no idea. Just being honest, owning up to what I did, and keeping it real.

You see, when I go to games I want my kids to do their best and to have fun and of course, I cheer for their team. This however doesn't mean I am cheering against the other kids. When a player on the other team makes a great play or gives a great effort, I encourage them. Yes, I have had people give me funny looks and a few - including my oldest son - say, "Which team are you cheering for?" My response is always the same, "I am for our team but I am for all kids." If a kid, any kid, puts forth a great effort or makes a great play I think we should all celebrate it. Isn't that what we really want? Kids, people, that will do the very best they can. What if we had a world full of people who didn't fear failure but rather pursued their goals and dreams with everything that is within them? When we see it, if even for only one play, for one moment, I think we should celebrate it.

So I couple of things here...
1. Will you be a champion for kids? Look Friends, I am not looking for you to read this and say, "Oh Kev, that is really nice. You are right." and then turn of your computer and walk away. I am talking action here. Will you step up and be the one who sees a kid doing something good and let them know you recognize and appreciate them? It doesn't have to be at a ball field. It could be at a band concert, a recital, the grocery store...greatness has no bounds. Anytime you see someone doing something good will you encourage 'em? And, perhaps most importantly, in those moments when they fall or stumble, will you be the one to pick them up, dust them off and encourage them to try again? That's when we ALL need a champion. There is not a human being walking the face of this earth who has not stumbled & fallen, literally and figuratively. What will your influence be in that moment?! That is one of the things that has always amazed me about sports; when a team wins everyone wants to be around 'em, tell 'em how great and special they are, etc. Guess what? They don't need you then! They know they are good, they know they won! You wanna make a difference? Go up to someone who gave it everything they had but came up a little short. Encourage them to get up and try again and again and again... You do that, you will make a difference! This world is full of people alive but not living, pursuing no goals or dreams because someone at some point told them they weren't good enough, fast enough, that nothing they do will ever be good enough and, sadly, they believed them. 

2. I am also mindful of the fact that we have a huge problem, at least in this country, with people who are now fully grown males & females who are still little boys & girls on the inside because they are broken. They are the ones alive, without goals & dreams, not pursuing their greatness, who strive to make themselves feel bigger & better by putting others down...even if the people they are putting down are only 15, 16 or 17-years old. It is sad really and yet they too have influence. You see, a kid doesn't see the difference between a 40-year old who is broken and one who is thriving. They see an authoritative figure and believe what that person tells them. At some point in time in their lives the kids will see and understand the difference between the two. The question/problem is, how far down the path has the kid gone based on the words spoken into their lives before they realize it? Can they recover and pursue their greatness? Or, will they join the ranks of the timid, alive, purposeless?

So what do you & I do with these full-grown "adults" who spew their venom. Well, first of all we love them. That is what they really need more than anything. And we have to remember that loving someone is not based on their actions but our choices. It is also very helpful to remember that the saying is true, "hurting people hurt people." Doesn't make it easier to tolerate however it does make it easier to understand. From there, the one's that we have a relationship with, we come alongside them, do life with them and encourage, empower & equip them to the degree we are able based on what they will allow. And for those that we have no relationship with, who we have no opportunity to help; we stop them from hurting those who cannot help themselves. What must those 15, 16 or 17-year old kids been thinking as this all unfolded the other night? They can't say anything or do anything to make it stop. I believe it is our responsibility to step in at that moment and be their champion.

To close I want to share a few things with you:
1. As I have typed this message "The Man In The Arena" by Theodore Roosevelt has continually come to mind. It is an excerpt from his speech, "Citizenship In A Republic" which he delivered in Paris, France on April 23, 2010. Whatever your "arena," I pray these words will speak to the depths of your soul and that you will pursue your greatness every day.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

2. Please take a few minutes and watch the Ted Talk by Rita Pierson titled, "Every kid needs a champion." Just Google it and it will pop right up

3. We all need a champion.

4. And please, don't ever forget this...

"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them." - Lady Bird Johnson

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Happy Easter.

Kev

Just One More Time

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! 

O.K. Friends, this Happy Friday is going to be emotional & sappy because, well, I am feeling emotional & sappy! Consider yourselves warned! :)

Yesterday was my Moms birthday. She celebrated in Heaven; we celebrated here on earth. I don't know for sure why this birthday was so tough for me, it was not the first since she went to Heaven, but it was.

When you were a little kid did you ever have a time when you were homesick and when you heard your Moms voice you just lost it? O.K., maybe it was only me. I remember one time, I must have been 9 or 10-years old, and I was staying the night at a friends house. I got homesick and so my friends Mom was letting me call my Mom. I remember holding it together, feeling the emotions welling up inside, until I heard my Moms sweet voice on the other end of the line at which point I completely lost it and went into full on meltdown. Yes, I was a "Momma's Boy" and I am completely fine with that...honored actually with the Mom I was blessed to have.

Wednesday night I came home from work, emotions welling up within me on the eve of my Moms birthday. I sat in a chair and asked my Beautiful Bride to come over to me. I held her in a long hug. She pulled away and started walking away saying in a sweet voice, "what are you doing?" I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned to me and I tried to say, "I miss my Mom." Please notice the emphasis on "tried." After "I" it was pretty much a blubbery mess lost in my tears. Remember when as a kid you would cry and couldn't catch your breath? Yeah, I had that kinda cry. And my Sweet Girl just held me and we talked about the great Mom God blessed me with.

Here is the thing; you know what I miss the most? My Moms voice. I was very blessed that my Mom established, and taught me, that we would fight for our relationship every day of our lives. With this, another great blessing she left me, I am not filled with regret. I don't have the "I wish I had told her" or "I wish I hadn't said" or "I wish she knew." Because of the loving relationship my Mom taught, modeled and yes, sometimes forced, I am free from those things. I just want to hear her voice one more time. The only opportunity I have for that now is a voicemail that she left me on November 11, 2014 that lasts 21 seconds. 

On this Friday I want to encourage you to reach out to the people in your lives, maybe it is a Mom or Dad, son or daughter, and do what you can to mend those fences, to talk to them. I don't want to be over-dramatic or a downer however the reality is we won't all be here forever. We don't know when their time, or our time, will end. Reach out and talk to them while you can still hear their voice for there will come a day that perhaps all you will have left is a voicemail...if you are lucky.

And yes, I am very aware of difficult relationships and hurting people hurting people. Let me share here for a moment. My Dad and I did not have a great relationship for most of our journey together. I know psychological & physical abuse. I know rejection. I know being told that you are not good enough...at anything. And I also know love, mercy, grace & forgiveness. You see, my Dad and I at one point went nearly 7 years without even talking...not something I am proud of, just a part of our journey. One day I got a conviction in my spirit to reach out to him so I did. We met for breakfast which led to some awkward moments (actual conversation; Me - "That is a really nice car Dad, when did you get it?" Dad - "Oh, about 4 years ago." Silence..."let's go eat!") but it also led to the restoring of a relationship that grew to the fullness it was capable of achieving. Please note, it was I, the son, who had to reach out to the Dad. Wasn't how I thought it was supposed to be however it was how it worked. You see, when I finally got over myself, my expectations, my anger, all the negativity that I was holding onto, I was able to love him for who he was and we were able to have a relationship. And this led to another great blessing; as with my Mom, I am not left with regrets about my Dad. No, I don't miss his voice but I am grateful for the relationship we were able to achieve and that I was able to see, one time in my life, my Dad at complete peace - a blessing I would have missed if the relationship would have not been restored. Hard? Yes. Awkward at times? Yes. Exactly what I thought it would be? Hardly. Worth it? Without question!!!

So there is my heart on this Friday, Friends! I pray for you to have the strength & courage to do whatever your spirit convicts you to do as you read this message. To talk to whoever it is that someday you would like to hear their voice just one more time...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Cowboy Up

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast.

It's March which in Houston means it is time for the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. For 3 years now this means the Haslam's put on their jeans, boots & cowboy hats - yes, I have one of those...actually two! :) - pile into our truck and head to the rodeo. We love to walk around and look at the livestock, the different vendor booths and then we grab a bite to eat before we head into the rodeo which is followed by a concert. That was something new to me; in Houston, for many people, it would be more appropriately called "The Concert" with a rodeo going on around it! Way more people show up for the concert than show up for the rodeo.

I absolutely love the rodeo, all of it. From the Grand Entrance to the prayer to the national anthem and then finally the rodeo. As I sit here this morning I can't name one cowboy or cowgirl off the top of my head but one time a year I show up and cheer my heart out for them as they ride bulls, wrestle steers, race around barrels, rope calfs, etc. I absolutely love the time with my family, creating cherished memories that will forever be tucked away in our hearts, and I stand amazed at the men, women & animals that perform.

So we went to the rodeo on Monday, followed by a concert by the Zac Brown Band...whom the Haslam's absolutely loved. The next morning I received an email from a fundraising consultant who shares a weekly message. This weeks messages was, appropriately for me, titled, "The Cowboy Code." I thought the code was absolutely awesome - cowboy/cowgirl or not - and so I thought I would share some cowboy stuff with this Happy Friday.

First for "The Cowboy Code." You can also find it referred to as "The Code of the West" or "Cowboy Ethics." I am not sure who exactly said/wrote it however you can find it on the website for the Center for Cowboy Ethics and Leadership at cowboyethics.org. Anyways, here is the Cowboy Code:

1. Live each day with courage.

2. Take pride in your work.

3. Always finish what you start.

4. Do what has to be done.

5. Be tough, but fair.

6. When you make a promise, keep it.

7. Ride for the brand.

8. Talk less and say more.

9. Remember that some things aren't for sale.

10. Know where to draw the line.

Pretty good stuff, don't ya think?! And it begs to question, what code are you & I living? The reality is we are all living some code...interesting point to ponder.

I also wanted to share some random cowboy quotes, sayings and wisdom. I am not sharing an exhaustive list with you, just the one's that stick out to me. You can find the entire list at cowboyway.com.

• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
• If you're ridin ahead of the heard, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's till there with ya.
• Good judgement comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgement.
• You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'til they get thumped. (Character shows up best when tested.)
• Never miss a chance to shut up

Some are humorous, all contain wisdom.

Finally, I want to share with you the "Cowboy's Ten Commandments." Again, I am not sure who originally said/wrote them however you can find them at beliefnet.com.

1. Just one God.

2. Honor yer Ma & Pa.

3. No telling tales or gossipin'.

4. Git yourself to Sunday meetin'.

5. Put nothin' before God.

6. No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.

7. No killin'.

8. Watch yer mouth.

9. Don't take what ain't yers.

10. Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Oh yeah, and "Cowboy Up?" According to urbandictionary.com it means, "when things are getting tough you have to get back up, dust yourself off and keep trying." A pretty good way to live...

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families! 

Kev

Safety

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday afternoon on the Texas Gulf Coast! Been another beautifully blessed day watching Gehrig play in a baseball tournament during this, his Senior season! :)

It has taken me a while to share this post and I really don't know why. As I was thinking about what I would write about this week I felt this conviction in my Spirit saying, "Why are you afraid to write about that?" I don't really know what I am supposed to say or do...guess that means somebody probably needs to hear it.

As most of you are aware, on Wednesday, February 14th, a gunman attacked Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Sadly, 17 precious souls lost their lives that day. Being the Dad of a high school senior and a 7th grader, I thought it would be important for our family to talk about it that night at dinner. 

How do you have this conversation? What do you say? A school is supposed to be a safe place, a place where you can learn & grow. How do you have a conversation about the very real possibility that someone could come in and start shooting as many people as possible? As I thought about this, the narrative in my mind was something like, "If this happens, do whatever you can do to stay alive. Mom & I will get to you as soon as we can."

So with all my fatherly wisdom, I started the conversation with my precious family. We talked about what had happened, the need to be praying for the families of Stoneman Douglas H.S. and the Parkland community. I then said, "What do you do if something happens at your school?" Waiting for their responses so I could impart my incredible advice, I got taught, or perhaps reminded of, a great lesson by my 12-year old Tender Warrior, Landry. In full conviction, without a pause following my question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Dad, I have decided in my mind I am going to save as many people as I can." My jaw dropped, figuratively if not literally. His answer was right and perfect and so very far from where his Dads mind was going with this whole thing! Thank you Lord for giving me the honor & privilege of being the Dad of this Little Preacher who teaches me so very much!

Safety...it's a funny thing, isn't it? As much as we perhaps try to convince ourselves otherwise it really does not exist. We live in a fallen, broken world full of evil. That is real. The Bible does not promise us that we will be physically safe. I don't have to look very hard in the Bible to find men & women far more Godly than I who suffered death and great physical harm. If they were not "safe" why should I think I would be? The Bible tells us in Matthew 10:28, "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Interestingly, this is not the first time I have had a conviction about safety. A couple of years ago, when I was hopping on an airplane every other week for work, I started to really feel a conviction about praying for more than just safety on these trips. Yes, I still prayed for traveling mercies however so much more than that, I wanted to be useful to God on those trips. To not be so wrapped up in safety that I missed the lost, the hurting, the broken. I actually asked my small group to pray for me when I traveled, that I would be useful to God.

There are two verses that are bouncing around in my mind right now...

Referred to as "The Greatest Commandment", Matthew 22: 34 - 40 says this; "Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

And how do you love your neighbor as yourself? Are you surprised that the Bible has an answer to this question?!?!

John 15: 13 says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends."

Maybe the laying down of one's life is physical, perhaps financial or it could even be laying aside our hopes & aspirations for another. While I would never wish any of us to be placed in a situation like those in Parkland, or any one of the numerous other places evil has reared its head recently, I do pray that should we find ourselves in those situations that we would have the strength & courage to save as many as we possibly can. Thank you for the reminder Landry, you are a great Tender Warrior and I am honored to be your Dad.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Be You

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday afternoon on the Texas Gulf Coast.

My Moms ministry was giving people the book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. Most every morning at breakfast my Beautiful Bride will read it to me before I go to work. On the Friday before Kath and I celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary I reflect on the awesomeness of God - the first woman I ever loved, my Mom, used to read a daily devotional to me every morning over breakfast as a child and now the woman He gave me to do life with does the same thing. Makes the heart happy and brings a smile to my face! :)

I went on a business trip this week. Kath got up early with me on Wednesday morning before I went to the airport and as I ate breakfast she read Jesus Calling to me. The words struck me as profound and I wanted to share them with you this afternoon. It read in part:

"Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless."

This little paragraph is so filled with wisdom. A few quick thoughts:

• Judging and evaluating ourselves is not our role. What if we stopped this nonsense, simply did the best we can do with where we are each day and then lay our heads on the pillow at night with the knowledge that we are in fact enough?
• How about the truth in comparing produces pride, inferiority or a mixture of both? Dang! So true...so not what we are called to do or be!
• Our paths are tailor-made for us, individually, by God. Let that sink in...
• And the one that just struck me like a punch in the stomach; not only is comparing wrong, it is meaningless. You are you, I am I and we each have our own paths to walk. Comparing ourselves to others is truly no different than saying an orange is a bad apple or vice versa. Of course it is, that is not what it was created to be!

So I got this all bouncing around in my mind and I am listening to the radio as I drive the beautiful back roads of Missouri. And a person calls in and talks about how they feel like such a failure, they have made so many mistakes, etc. Ever been there? Yeah, me too. And then the radio host reminded everyone listening that God uses our messes to give us our messages. Tied right back, in my mind, to the beautiful words Sarah had written. It's about our journey, not judging it as good or bad, and walking out the truth that God works for the good of those who love Him.

And then finally, I was reading Seize the Day: Living On Purpose And Making Every Day Count by Joyce Meyer this morning. I want to share several excerpts from what I read with you.

"Part of His purpose for us is that we live "on purpose" for a purpose. Many people feel useless, and they waste their time wondering why they are on earth. "Who am I? What am I here for?" is the cry of many hearts.

You are here because God wants you! You are important to Him, and you fit into His purposes. You are not an accident. You are personally designed by the hand of God and have been given abilities that you are to use in the service of God and man."

"Get to know yourself and learn to appreciate yourself! Every day that you are against yourself is another day that you waste. It is important to be able to say, "I like myself, and I love myself with the love of God." To do anything other than that is to offend God. I once heard a pastor tell a woman who had just said that she hated herself, 'Who do you think you are? If God loved you enough to send His Son to die for you, surely you can stop hating yourself and become useful to God.'"

"One of the best ways that you can stop wasting time is to accept yourself as God designed you this very moment. Don't ever fight against yourself again. Say, "I am what I am, and I cannot do anything God has not designed me to do - but I can do everything He has purposed for me. I accept myself as God's creation. He loves me and has a purpose for my life." Even if you don't know what that purpose is yet, this will help you get on your way to discovering it."

"We may give someone a simple compliment without being aware of how much he or she needed it. You smile at someone and she is comforted because she has just been through a stressful ordeal. That person is encouraged, and we have fulfilled God's purpose for us at that moment. You will miss God's purpose for you if you only look for major world-changing things or things that cause everyone to clap and cheer. God uses small things as much as big things, and sometimes He even uses them more. Always remember that what seems small and insignificant to us may be a life-changing event for someone else!"

So what is the point of this Happy Friday? I pray you, and I, will know we are enough. Just as we are. Right now. In this moment. That we, I, would stop beating ourselves up all the time and walk in the love, mercy & grace of a God that loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for our sins so that we do not have to be separated from Him for eternity. I pray that as you read the words of Sarah & Joyce that the words wash over you and penetrate the deepest recesses of your soul. That you will accept you and run your race. You are not a mistake or an accident. You were created on purpose, for a purpose by God. THAT is who you are!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev