I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!
Thursday night Gehrig had a baseball game. I love going to my kids' games. I love to simply watch my boys and their teammates play and I enjoy visiting with the families and friends that are there to support them. On Thursday I saw and heard something that I never thought I would see or hear...
The other team scored 1 run in the 1st inning but there wasn't much hitting for either team. Both teams had a pretty good pitcher on the mound and it was mostly 3 up, 3 down kinda stuff. Then, in the 4th or 5th inning one of our hitters, a Sophomore, roped one to the right-center gap. An easy double the coach waived the player to try for 3rd. The ball arrived slightly before the runner and he was out. A great hit, a great job by the outfielder and the infielders with both the relay and the tag. And then it happened... All of the sudden you hear a 30/40-year old full grown male (I will not use the word "man" as the words, actions & behaviors were those of a little boy, at best, and not those of a man) yell "You are not fast enough!" Laughs. "You gotta get faster." More laughs. My mouth falls open. Am I really hearing a parent ridiculing and heckling a high school kid?!?!
Our team then took the field. There was a ball hit up the middle and our shortstop ran across and tried to make the play but couldn't. Then comes, "Your glove has a hole in it!" And "You need to get a new glove!"
How did we get here? How is it that a 30/40-year old thinks it is appropriate to make fun of and ridicule 15, 16 & 17-year olds? And how do some find this funny? Acceptable? Sad, gut-wrenching & infuriating.
So a couple of things to clear up before moving on. 1. Our team won the game 6 - 1 so please understand, this is not a crying sour grapes thing. It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with kids - ours & theirs (the same person yelled, "It's about time!" when the coach went out to remove their pitcher). 2. I did say something. I yelled "Are you really heckling high school kids? Real classy!" The laughing and comments stopped after that point. 2. And when their Head Coach came out to go to the 3rd base coaches box I yelled to him, "You run way to classy of a program to have parents heckling high school players." His pace slowed considerably. I know my words were heard and, at least for a night, the nonsense stopped. Whether there will be lasting change at that school, I have no idea. Just being honest, owning up to what I did, and keeping it real.
You see, when I go to games I want my kids to do their best and to have fun and of course, I cheer for their team. This however doesn't mean I am cheering against the other kids. When a player on the other team makes a great play or gives a great effort, I encourage them. Yes, I have had people give me funny looks and a few - including my oldest son - say, "Which team are you cheering for?" My response is always the same, "I am for our team but I am for all kids." If a kid, any kid, puts forth a great effort or makes a great play I think we should all celebrate it. Isn't that what we really want? Kids, people, that will do the very best they can. What if we had a world full of people who didn't fear failure but rather pursued their goals and dreams with everything that is within them? When we see it, if even for only one play, for one moment, I think we should celebrate it.
So I couple of things here...
1. Will you be a champion for kids? Look Friends, I am not looking for you to read this and say, "Oh Kev, that is really nice. You are right." and then turn of your computer and walk away. I am talking action here. Will you step up and be the one who sees a kid doing something good and let them know you recognize and appreciate them? It doesn't have to be at a ball field. It could be at a band concert, a recital, the grocery store...greatness has no bounds. Anytime you see someone doing something good will you encourage 'em? And, perhaps most importantly, in those moments when they fall or stumble, will you be the one to pick them up, dust them off and encourage them to try again? That's when we ALL need a champion. There is not a human being walking the face of this earth who has not stumbled & fallen, literally and figuratively. What will your influence be in that moment?! That is one of the things that has always amazed me about sports; when a team wins everyone wants to be around 'em, tell 'em how great and special they are, etc. Guess what? They don't need you then! They know they are good, they know they won! You wanna make a difference? Go up to someone who gave it everything they had but came up a little short. Encourage them to get up and try again and again and again... You do that, you will make a difference! This world is full of people alive but not living, pursuing no goals or dreams because someone at some point told them they weren't good enough, fast enough, that nothing they do will ever be good enough and, sadly, they believed them.
2. I am also mindful of the fact that we have a huge problem, at least in this country, with people who are now fully grown males & females who are still little boys & girls on the inside because they are broken. They are the ones alive, without goals & dreams, not pursuing their greatness, who strive to make themselves feel bigger & better by putting others down...even if the people they are putting down are only 15, 16 or 17-years old. It is sad really and yet they too have influence. You see, a kid doesn't see the difference between a 40-year old who is broken and one who is thriving. They see an authoritative figure and believe what that person tells them. At some point in time in their lives the kids will see and understand the difference between the two. The question/problem is, how far down the path has the kid gone based on the words spoken into their lives before they realize it? Can they recover and pursue their greatness? Or, will they join the ranks of the timid, alive, purposeless?
So what do you & I do with these full-grown "adults" who spew their venom. Well, first of all we love them. That is what they really need more than anything. And we have to remember that loving someone is not based on their actions but our choices. It is also very helpful to remember that the saying is true, "hurting people hurt people." Doesn't make it easier to tolerate however it does make it easier to understand. From there, the one's that we have a relationship with, we come alongside them, do life with them and encourage, empower & equip them to the degree we are able based on what they will allow. And for those that we have no relationship with, who we have no opportunity to help; we stop them from hurting those who cannot help themselves. What must those 15, 16 or 17-year old kids been thinking as this all unfolded the other night? They can't say anything or do anything to make it stop. I believe it is our responsibility to step in at that moment and be their champion.
To close I want to share a few things with you:
1. As I have typed this message "The Man In The Arena" by Theodore Roosevelt has continually come to mind. It is an excerpt from his speech, "Citizenship In A Republic" which he delivered in Paris, France on April 23, 2010. Whatever your "arena," I pray these words will speak to the depths of your soul and that you will pursue your greatness every day.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
2. Please take a few minutes and watch the Ted Talk by Rita Pierson titled, "Every kid needs a champion." Just Google it and it will pop right up
3. We all need a champion.
4. And please, don't ever forget this...
"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them." - Lady Bird Johnson
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Happy Easter.
Kev
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