A Couple of Things to Consider

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)

This week I have come across a couple of quotes that are profound to me...full of what, I believe, is great wisdom. This morning I simply want to share them with you, let them speak to you and then let you decide what, if anything, to do with them.

Before sharing them with you I want to remind you & I that if we read, hear or see something and do not apply it, nothing has really been learned. Words like faith, hope, love, courage & belief are verbs...if we are walking in them, there should be some action that we take accordingly. We don't need to tell people that we have faith, hope, love, courage and belief as it will be visible in the lives we live. So, the question for you & I is, "What Will Your Influence Be...?" :)

With that friendly reminder out of the way, here are the quotes.

"Guard your heart, mind and time. Those three things will determine the health of everything else in your life." - Andrena Sawyer

"Believe. Have faith. Don't stand in your own way. If you don't believe in yourself, a positive outcome or a better tomorrow how can it come to pass? If you don't have faith, how is anything possible? Stop standing in your own way with your limiting beliefs. Free yourself to unleash your unlimited potential. Dare to dream." - Akiroq Brost

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

What Are We Projecting?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

Did you realize that this day, this moment, is one that has never been touched before? There is no success or failure in this moment...yet! Of course you & I know this to be true however are we living this truth? Let's thrive through this day!

I once heard it said that knowledge is the learning you do by going through something and wisdom is what you gain by hearing & seeing what others go through. My heart this morning is to share some wisdom with you.

I have been in a little bit of a funk lately. I didn't really realize it until I had a "Come to Jesus" moment - literally! :) - on Tuesday night. Earlier in the day I had been in a meeting where I pointed out something that was written, stating how it could be perceived as negative or a slam against the work of others, when a dear colleague of mine said, "or it could mean you are being too sensitive." She was right, I was wrong and I, wisely, didn't say anything. That night, as I was laying in bed and talking with Jesus about my day and, specifically, about that moment I felt a conviction of the Holy Spirit - "You are projecting your feelings on others." It may not sound all that profound to you but to me it was. It was an awareness - that is powerful as once we are aware we can change - and it was also a call to action...to not only change what I was projecting but also to apologize to those to whom I felt I was projecting things onto that I didn't want to be projecting. So, the next day I went to a colleague and apologized to her for something else I had said the day before - I must have been on some kind of roll...and I don't mean a good one! :) - and then yesterday I apologized to a group of colleagues. I didn't try to explain or justify, I just apologized. Praise God, in all situations, my colleagues looked at me like I was crazy, stating I didn't need to apologize and in fact, questioned what in the world I was talking about. Not often you get to see the mercy & grace of God in action! :)

So what we really have here is a conviction of the Spirit that was telling me I was in dangerous territory. I was not projecting who I am or what I want to be projecting, I was projecting frustrations, struggles, etc. Though it wasn't to the point that others were seeing or hearing it, it was enough that my heart felt it...and that is much more important! It was a guardrail bumping me back onto the road of faith, not allowing me to fall into the gutter of worry, fear, regret, doubt, etc. Again, Praise the Lord!

A scripture & a quote for you:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23

"An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can't put you down unless you allow it to get inside you." - Goi Nasu

Just as a movie projector shows on the screen the film that runs through it, so our lives show what is running through our hearts. I pray we will take Proverbs 4:23 to heart...literally! :)

I also want to share a few nuggets with you from the Focus on the Family broadcast from yesterday morning. The hosts were speaking with author and Pastor, Gary Thomas. The talk was titled, Discovering God's Plan For Your Parenting. A few pieces of wisdom that spoke to my heart and I thought ya'll might find them meaningful as well.

Gary was talking about the importance of listening to our children - the things I am sharing also apply to spouses, partners, parents, friends, co-workers...everyone! :)

"They will receive curiosity as an act of love."
Ever been listening to someone tell you something and your demeanor, tone & look communicate, "hurry up so I can get back to what I was doing?" Yeah, me too. The point here is to truly be interested in what they are telling you. Being curious, saying "tell me more," or asking questions about what they are saying communicates love to them. Please think about it...

"If something matters to them it should matter to me."

"It's not so much what is being said as who said it."
Boom! This is the key, right here! It is not what my Beautiful Bride or Tender Warriors are telling me so much as it is them - my highest earthly purpose & calling...please think about that! - that is telling me and thus, whatever it is it is critically important. It's not about the message but the messenger! If it matters to them it should matter to me enough, because of who they are, that I give them my full, undivided attention.

"It's how people feel loved."
You ever try to tell someone something and you knew they weren't listening to you? Yeah, we have all been there as well. Didn't feel very good, did it? Now, has anyone every said something like, "Sit down and tell me about you?" Remember how valued & appreciated you felt in that moment. I pray that we have all experienced that feeling...it is amazing. 

I am not trying to be all Pollyanna on ya'll this morning. I get life is hard, we get busy, there are timelines and deadlines, etc. However, I pray that we will have a heart and when needed, a conviction, to truly listen to the people in our lives. It is after all how they feel loved! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev 

I Didn't Make It

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! It is going to be a great day...I have already determined so in my mind! How about you?! :)

The message came in at 8:07 a.m. yesterday morning, "I didn't make it." I replied, "I am sorry you didn't make it however I am so proud of you for doing your best and pursuing your goals! There will be many more battles Scoot! I love you and I am so proud of you!" Please let me explain.

Landry, my youngest Tender Warrior who is affectionately known to our family as "Scooter" or "Scoot", was trying out for his schools soccer team. 38 7th & 8th grade boys were trying out for 16 spots. They had tryouts Monday - Wednesday and the team, those who made it, were posted on a list in the locker room on Thursday morning. The message was from Landry to our family letting us know that he had not made the cut. Landry loves soccer and he wanted to play on his school team. It was important to him and the heart of a Dad hurt for a son filled with disappointment.

Before diving into what we did, I would first of all like to talk about a couple of things we did not do...I think they are critically important.
1. We didn't bad mouth the coach, say "he is [fill in the blank with any derogatory comment]" or anything similar. 

2. We didn't talk about the process, whether or not we agreed with it.

3. We didn't talk negatively about any of the boys who got the news they wanted yesterday morning.

You see, at least to me, this wasn't about the coach, the process or any of the other kids. This was about Landry and the fearless pursuit of the goals & dreams he has. I am much more interested in him pursuing these things, regardless of the outcome, than I am anything else. The reality is we are all going to get knocked down sometimes however those moments don't define us. What defines us, I believe, is how we choose to live each day.

So let me tell you some of the things we did do.
1. When Landry came home on Monday night, after the 1st day of tryouts, he gave us the breakdown. There would be only one team - 7th & 8th grade boys will play together. 38 boys were trying out and only 16 would make it. They had today, the day that was already gone, plus 2 more days. He would find out the outcome Thursday morning. You could see the nervousness we all feel when we want something however we aren't sure if we will be able to accomplish it. We talked about the fact that we would 1. Go for the goal, 2. Do the very best we can and 3. Control the things we can control (attitude, effort) and not worry about the things we cannot control and finally, 4. Regardless of the outcome we would celebrate the fact that he pursued a goal and did his best.

2. When the message came, my Beautiful Bride and other 2 Tender Warriors loved on him, letting him know that we loved him, we are proud of him and that his making the team or not had absolutely zero impact on the love we have for him.

And then it was time to celebrate - the pursuit of a goal, having given the best effort within his 12-year old body, regardless of the outcome.

Landry & I climbed into my truck and, before pulling out of the driveway, I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I have to ask you one question; can you honestly tell me you did the very best your could do?" He looked me dead in the eye right back, with a piercing little intensity, and said without any hesitation what so ever, "Yes!" As I pulled out of the driveway and began to drive down the street I explained to Landry that this wasn't some participation trophy or Dad taking him out to dinner out of sympathy. This was a genuine celebration that he had given everything he had to give in a valiant effort to pursue a goal. I went on to explain that everyone, including Dad, gets knocked on their butt sometimes and I know the hurt & pain of defeat. I told him that I was much more interested in him getting up and pursuing a goal the next time and in always giving his best. I went on to explain how many people, after a momentary defeat, let it define them for the rest of their lives. I told him that this moment would not define him, it would only serve as a lesson. Dad was fired up and passionately hoping & praying that his Tender Warrior would always pursue his goals & dreams, even if this meant risking failure, for it is only in these pursuits that we are truly alive.

As we settled in at a great little barbecue restaurant by our house I pulled up a list of highly successful people who went through setbacks in their lives. We read about Abe Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Vincent Van Gogh, Steven Spielberg, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Emily Dickinson, etc. All people who had a decision to make after a moment of failure or two or more, and continued to relentlessly pursue the greatness that is within them. 

And then we pulled up a list of local soccer clubs in our community. He might not have made his school team, at least not for now, however the love of soccer and the passion to play it still burns in his heart. So we are going to find other teams he can tryout for and hopefully find him a place where he can play this season. The only way he is going to continue to improve & get better is if he plays and we are not going to let one setback define who he is, alter his love for a game or stop him from relentlessly pursuing his goals.

Finally, we ended our dinner celebration the only fitting way at a barbecue restaurant in Texas - we went out back on their big lawn and played corn-hole. Not a care in the world, neither one of us in a hurry to go anywhere or wanting to be anywhere else, just enjoying our time together. It was a great celebration and I am once again reminded what an honor & privilege it is to be Payton, Gehrig & Landry's Dad.

So why am I sharing all of this with you in this Happy Friday? Because the same hope & prayer I have for my Beautiful Bride, my Tender Warriors and myself is the same hope & prayer I have for you...that you will relentlessly pursue your goals & dreams, that you will give your very best effort in each & every one of your endeavors, that you will not let neither a moment of failure or success define you but rather you will take each moment as it comes and when the opportunity comes to lay it all on the line you will take it. I don't know whether or not any of us will achieve what we hope but I have found that we will only truly be alive when we try. Yes, this means risking failure but it is also the path to finding who you really are and coming to the realization that no single moment defines any one of us. And finally, I want to remind us all to take time to celebrate the pursuit of a goal, the having given the very best of what is within you. Oh yeah, and please don't forget to take some time to play...Landry taught me that! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for any of you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Dance

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! The hope, opportunity & promise of this new day is so thick you can almost feel it! :)

Well, today is a dancin' kinda day! While I have absolutely no rhythm - just ask my Beautiful Bride, she will tell ya! - I fully intend to dance through this day and then the next and the next and the next... Please, let me explain.

Wednesday morning I got a powerful reminder! As I was scrolling through Facebook I saw a video and a headline that said something like, "Watch what happens when a lady with cancer comes up to Garth Brooks at a concert." You can watch another version of what happens here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veCRhOCwNEs. If the link does not work just Google "Garth Brooks Sings to Lady with Cancer" and it will pop up.

As Garth is singing "The Dance," the beautiful woman walks towards the stage holding a sign that says, 

"Chemo This Morning

Garth Tonight

Enjoying The Dance"

Now, I am not going to talk about what an amazing man Garth is, how compassionate his actions are or what a great message he delivers at the end...you can see all this when you watch the video! :) No, what I want to focus on is the powerful example this incredibly strong, brave woman set for us all. I think to fully understand it is helpful to know the lyrics to "The Dance." Here you go:

"Looking back on the memory of 

The dance we shared beneath the stars above 

For a moment all the world was right 

How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye 

And now I'm glad I didn't know 

The way it all would end the way it all would go 

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 

But I'd have to miss the dance 

Holding you I held everything 

For a moment wasn't I the king 

But if I'd only known how the king would fall 

Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all 

And now I'm glad I didn't know 

The way it all would end the way it all would go 

Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain 

But I'd of had to miss the dance 

Yes my life is better left to chance 

I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance"

When you see a person who is currently battling a life threatening disease holding a sign that declares she is going to enjoy this dance, this life, despite the current circumstance, challenge or struggle, well, it is an incredibly powerful example! And a choice...a choice to enjoy, to dance, in this life or to die while still living it! I pray for the strength & courage to enjoy the dance every. single. day!

And now, since I am on this whole musical theme, with dancing and all, I want to share the lyrics to "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack.

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep the hunger

May you never take a single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance"

Great wisdom and insight! Read the words and let them speak deeply to your soul. I truly hope you & I dance Friends! :)

And so, I have one more song I gotta share with you! :) I want to preface it with a something that our Pastor said at church last Sunday. He said, "Beliefs drive action." Think about that for a moment. What we believe determines what we do. With that nifty little statement, here are the lyrics to "Most People Are Good" by Luke Bryan.

I believe kids oughta stay kids as long as they can

Turn off the screen, go climb a tree, get dirt on their hands

I believe we gotta forgive and make amends

'Cause nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends

I believe in working hard for what you've got

Even if it don't add up to a hell of a lot

I believe most people are good

And most mama's oughta qualify for sainthood

I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights

I believe you love who you love

Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of

I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks

I believe most people are good

I believe them streets of gold are worth the work

But I still wanna go even if they were paved in dirt

I believe that youth is spent well on the young

'Cause wisdom in your teens would be a lot less fun

I believe if you just go by the nightly news

Your faith in all mankind would be the first thing you lose

I believe most people are good

And most mama's oughta qualify for sainthood

I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights

I believe you love who you love

Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of

I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks

I believe most people are good

I believe that days go slow and years go fast

And every breath's a gift, the first one to the last

I believe most people are good

And most mama's oughta qualify for sainthood

I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights

I believe you love who you love

Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of

I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks

I believe most people are good

I believe most people are good

I believe most people are good"

Yeah, I have no idea what has happened to me this morning! :) It's a singin', toe tappin' kinda day! And my poor family, they are gonna hear me singing these songs all day!

On a serious note, 3 things to wrap this all up:

1. You might be able to miss the pain however you will have to miss the dance.

2. We have a choice, every day, to sit out life or dance...I hope we dance.

3. I believe most people are good.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev