I Didn't Make It

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! It is going to be a great day...I have already determined so in my mind! How about you?! :)

The message came in at 8:07 a.m. yesterday morning, "I didn't make it." I replied, "I am sorry you didn't make it however I am so proud of you for doing your best and pursuing your goals! There will be many more battles Scoot! I love you and I am so proud of you!" Please let me explain.

Landry, my youngest Tender Warrior who is affectionately known to our family as "Scooter" or "Scoot", was trying out for his schools soccer team. 38 7th & 8th grade boys were trying out for 16 spots. They had tryouts Monday - Wednesday and the team, those who made it, were posted on a list in the locker room on Thursday morning. The message was from Landry to our family letting us know that he had not made the cut. Landry loves soccer and he wanted to play on his school team. It was important to him and the heart of a Dad hurt for a son filled with disappointment.

Before diving into what we did, I would first of all like to talk about a couple of things we did not do...I think they are critically important.
1. We didn't bad mouth the coach, say "he is [fill in the blank with any derogatory comment]" or anything similar. 

2. We didn't talk about the process, whether or not we agreed with it.

3. We didn't talk negatively about any of the boys who got the news they wanted yesterday morning.

You see, at least to me, this wasn't about the coach, the process or any of the other kids. This was about Landry and the fearless pursuit of the goals & dreams he has. I am much more interested in him pursuing these things, regardless of the outcome, than I am anything else. The reality is we are all going to get knocked down sometimes however those moments don't define us. What defines us, I believe, is how we choose to live each day.

So let me tell you some of the things we did do.
1. When Landry came home on Monday night, after the 1st day of tryouts, he gave us the breakdown. There would be only one team - 7th & 8th grade boys will play together. 38 boys were trying out and only 16 would make it. They had today, the day that was already gone, plus 2 more days. He would find out the outcome Thursday morning. You could see the nervousness we all feel when we want something however we aren't sure if we will be able to accomplish it. We talked about the fact that we would 1. Go for the goal, 2. Do the very best we can and 3. Control the things we can control (attitude, effort) and not worry about the things we cannot control and finally, 4. Regardless of the outcome we would celebrate the fact that he pursued a goal and did his best.

2. When the message came, my Beautiful Bride and other 2 Tender Warriors loved on him, letting him know that we loved him, we are proud of him and that his making the team or not had absolutely zero impact on the love we have for him.

And then it was time to celebrate - the pursuit of a goal, having given the best effort within his 12-year old body, regardless of the outcome.

Landry & I climbed into my truck and, before pulling out of the driveway, I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I have to ask you one question; can you honestly tell me you did the very best your could do?" He looked me dead in the eye right back, with a piercing little intensity, and said without any hesitation what so ever, "Yes!" As I pulled out of the driveway and began to drive down the street I explained to Landry that this wasn't some participation trophy or Dad taking him out to dinner out of sympathy. This was a genuine celebration that he had given everything he had to give in a valiant effort to pursue a goal. I went on to explain that everyone, including Dad, gets knocked on their butt sometimes and I know the hurt & pain of defeat. I told him that I was much more interested in him getting up and pursuing a goal the next time and in always giving his best. I went on to explain how many people, after a momentary defeat, let it define them for the rest of their lives. I told him that this moment would not define him, it would only serve as a lesson. Dad was fired up and passionately hoping & praying that his Tender Warrior would always pursue his goals & dreams, even if this meant risking failure, for it is only in these pursuits that we are truly alive.

As we settled in at a great little barbecue restaurant by our house I pulled up a list of highly successful people who went through setbacks in their lives. We read about Abe Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Vincent Van Gogh, Steven Spielberg, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Emily Dickinson, etc. All people who had a decision to make after a moment of failure or two or more, and continued to relentlessly pursue the greatness that is within them. 

And then we pulled up a list of local soccer clubs in our community. He might not have made his school team, at least not for now, however the love of soccer and the passion to play it still burns in his heart. So we are going to find other teams he can tryout for and hopefully find him a place where he can play this season. The only way he is going to continue to improve & get better is if he plays and we are not going to let one setback define who he is, alter his love for a game or stop him from relentlessly pursuing his goals.

Finally, we ended our dinner celebration the only fitting way at a barbecue restaurant in Texas - we went out back on their big lawn and played corn-hole. Not a care in the world, neither one of us in a hurry to go anywhere or wanting to be anywhere else, just enjoying our time together. It was a great celebration and I am once again reminded what an honor & privilege it is to be Payton, Gehrig & Landry's Dad.

So why am I sharing all of this with you in this Happy Friday? Because the same hope & prayer I have for my Beautiful Bride, my Tender Warriors and myself is the same hope & prayer I have for you...that you will relentlessly pursue your goals & dreams, that you will give your very best effort in each & every one of your endeavors, that you will not let neither a moment of failure or success define you but rather you will take each moment as it comes and when the opportunity comes to lay it all on the line you will take it. I don't know whether or not any of us will achieve what we hope but I have found that we will only truly be alive when we try. Yes, this means risking failure but it is also the path to finding who you really are and coming to the realization that no single moment defines any one of us. And finally, I want to remind us all to take time to celebrate the pursuit of a goal, the having given the very best of what is within you. Oh yeah, and please don't forget to take some time to play...Landry taught me that! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for any of you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev