Character

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

Before starting I want to once again respectfully ask you to continue to pray for those impacted by Hurricane Florence. While news cycles change and what was so important to us 7 days ago falls from public consciousness, the lives that were/are impacted are still being impacted. After Hurricane Harvey a year ago I had a dear friend tell me that the toughest part was yet to come. She went on to explain that immediately following the storm optimism abounds as houses get gutted and progress towards recovery is being made. And then things slow down, painfully so. More than a year after Harvey there are people who are still not back in their homes, who are dealing with the affects, etc. Let's not let our prayer lives be like news cycles. Let's really do life with people, genuinely care about them and remember that while today might be "normal" to you and I, they are struggling, trying to adjust to their "new normal." Thank you.

I am going to begin this Happy Friday the way I usually end them; with a challenge for us. For one week I want to respectfully ask us to not look for or at the flaws in others but rather to focus exclusively on our own character development. What are the things that you and I need to start doing, stop doing and keep doing? Let's focus on becoming the best we are capable of becoming - with God's wisdom, discernment and yes, strength - so we can best serve others as He created us to do.

The heart of this request is found in Matthew 7: 1 - 5
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

There is also a great quote that says, "We move towards what we focus on." If we focus on finding the faults & failures in others guess what happens? Well, we find 'em because we all have a bunch of 'em! :) But eventually our attitude becomes negative as well. Why? Because we are focusing on the negative we move towards the negative. Likewise, if we focus on becoming the best we are capable of becoming, if we focus on the fact that we are fearfully & wonderfully made, created on purpose for a purpose, guess what we gravitate towards? Hopeful expectation that we are becoming all we are created to become. Remember last week? "What are you marinating your mind with?"

So what has me all fired up this morning? A football coach, of course! :) I am now reading The Mentor Leader: Secrets To Building People And Teams That Win Consistently by Tony Dungy. I am 77 pages into this book and I would highly recommend it to all of you!

Earlier this week I started a section titled Character. Don't know why it hit me so profoundly but it did. My quotes on Twitter & Facebook all week have been about character. I can't wait to get up each morning and read the next part. I am far more interested in becoming the man, husband & Dad God created me to be than looking for and trying to find faults in others. In fact, my Bible tells me I am not supposed to judge people but to simply love them - where they are, for who they are.

So now that I have thrown down my challenge I simply want to share some excerpts from Coach's book with you.

"Vision matters, but character matters more."

"In every setting, we know that the associations we keep tend to paint a picture of our character. And eventually those associations will begin to affect our character."

"Character is the foundation of which all leadership is built."

"...research conducted by the Leadership Research Institute has shown that in times of crisis, people gravitate toward the person of highest character, not necessarily the person who is "in charge" or even the person they believe to be the most competent. Rather, people will tend to build a relationship with and follow the person they view as the most trustworthy, who cares the most, and who is wiling to always do the right thing."

"To succeed in any endeavor, we have to know what we're doing and why we're doing it. That doesn't mean we have to have all the answers, but it does mean we must have a solid foundation of skill, ability, and knowledge."

"If the people in your organization can't rely on you - whether on the big things or the little things - how are they going to follow you? They may follow you for a little while, but it won't be with passion or full commitment. The reason is simple: When faced with uncertainty about a decision or a direction, they won't know whether the person making the decision or pointing them in that direction can be trusted. They may follow for a time, but only conditionally, haltingly, or with misgivings marking every step."

"If you have integrity, model it. If you have a problem with integrity, take care of it quickly before your reputation is established as one who is not to be trusted."

"...mentor leaders need to exhibit confidence. Not a false bravado, but an inner sense of security - the kind of confidence that doesn't need to be surrounded by yes-men or people trying to curry favor."

"From my perspective, a genuine sense of self-worth - the kind of confidence that can't be shaken by circumstances - is best obtained through a relationship with God."

"I am both humbled and empowered by the knowledge that Jesus Christ performed the ultimate act of sacrificial service for me. To know that God loves me that much is powerful."

"Mentor leaders are secure enough in who they are that they are able to invest themselves in helping others grow and develop to their full potential. Secure leaders are free to lift other up who will eventually replace them."

"But I don't need to be someone I'm not, nor should I expect others to be something different from who they are. We can all be effective with our own styles. Whatever gifts God has given us, we should make use of them.
Be real.
Be authentic.
Be sincere.
People will know when you're not.
And they will know when you are - and be drawn to that."

I also want to share a few of the quotes I have posted this week.

"Your actions and values define you." - Fennel Hudson

"Your words and actions must match to build your character. Any gap in those will put a dent in your credibility. Be a man [woman] of your words." - Mayur Ramgir

"Be a person of character people can count on." - Amber Hurdle

"I can tell you who I am, but I'd rather you watch who I am." - Craig D. Lounsbrough

"Leadership, at its core, is about character: specifically, a character attuned to its ethical responsibility to others." - Sophia A. Nelson

"And so it is with life; each step, each deed, each brief choice builds gradually, day by day, to shape both character and destiny." - Richelle E. Goodrich

"Selfless. Humility. Truthfulness. These are the three marks of an honorable man." - Suzy Kassem

As I have been typing all of this I have been very aware of how we not only like to judge others but ourselves, harshly. Please Friend, don't do that. Don't go down the path of harshness, focusing on your faults & failures, living in a world of regret. Redeem the situation...redeem YOU! Have you made mistakes? Absolutely, we all have! It is over? Well, consider you are reading this...NO!!! :) Simply ask yourself, "What do I need to start doing? What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to keep doing?" And then, to change your world, do those things! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev