I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day, and that you have had a great week, as a beautiful new opportunity begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)
On Monday my Beautiful Bride and I celebrated our 30th Wedding Anniversary. I took the day off from work and spent a wonderful day with Kath. I am blessed beyond measure and I know it! :)
One of the things that has always bothered me is when people talk about how "perfect" we are. They don't mean it bad however I know that the reality is far different than their perception! I know how broken and flawed we are. Please, allow me to tell you just how "perfect" we are.
So, I am so excited about our anniversary. In my mind this whole, what I have made a 3 day, weekend is going to be a celebration. I thought it was, well, perfect. On Friday night and Saturday morning our church was having a men's conference. What could be a more perfect way to start a weekend where you are going to celebrate your marriage than learning what it means, and how to be, a Godly man, husband & father?!?! God knew - He always knows - what I needed! The conference was great. I learned so much and left truly inspired. I came home and took a nap before Kath and I were to head to the movie, Run Your Race. So, I have been to a conference about being a Godly man, husband & father and we are going to see a Christian movie about running your race - perfect, right?!?!
I wake up from my nap and my Sweet Girl and I get in a argument...about a couch!!! Seriously?!?! I am mad at her, she is mad at me. I am rude, she is rude. Finally, we just quit talking, baffled by the behavior of the other. Neither one of us wants to go to the movie now, however we decide to go as we have already paid for the tickets. We don't say two words to each other as we drive to the movie. We don't hold hands or anything during the movie - I did offer to share my popcorn however! :) We talk briefly about the movie as we drive home. When we get home I go sit in the backyard, she stays in the house. This last for longer than an hour.
Isn't our marriage perfect?! Aren't you jealous?! Here we are, celebrating 30 years of marriage by fighting...over a couch! Let the good times begin!!! :)
Before I go on I do have to tell you that we both eventually apologized for being so...childish. We reaffirmed our love and commitment to one another and discussed how we would behave/do things in the future to better handle these, um, high level discussions! :)
When these types of arguments/issues happen in our marriage I get the double dose of guilt - I can't believe our marriage is not better than that and I can't believe I am such a failure - that's the story I tell myself - as a man, husband & father. At the men's conference they did not encourage us to argue over couches! :)
And then, on Monday, Kathy gave me a card that had this written in it:
"A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other."
In that moment, my heart & Spirit felt a peace that I can't describe to you. I felt the weight of trying to be perfect as a man, husband & father fall off my shoulders. And I realized, in that moment, we do in fact have a perfect marriage.
I remember exactly where I was on Highway 387 in Arizona when I made the decision in my mind that I would not quit on my Beautiful Bride or our marriage. I determined I did not care if she loved me back, tried, etc. I was not going to quit on her or us. I will fight for her, for us, until the day I die. It changed everything!
I once heard the late football coach, Bill Stewart, tell the story of the Dog Soldier. According to Coach Stewart, Dog Soldiers, were Native American men who, when going into battle, would tie a rope around their ankle and on the other end, drive a stake into the ground. They did this to keep them from running during the battle. They might die on the ground they were staked to but they were not going to run. This, for me, is the perfect picture of my marriage. I might very well die on this hill, however I am not going to run.
So yes Friends, Kathy & I have the perfect marriage. It has nothing to do with where we go to eat, the trips we take, the gifts we lavish on each other, etc. It has everything to do with a refusal to give up on each other, a commitment, even if we argue over a high level stuff like couches! :) And within this definition of perfection, every one of us can have the perfect marriage. We simply have to make the intentional decision about whether we will be Dog Soldiers or whether we will run. Please choose carefully as the consequences are immense!
Many of us struggle with this idea of perfection. God made it very clear that none of us could achieve perfection and thus, He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins. Sadly, many religions try to tell people that they have to strive for perfection, that they have to earn their way to Heaven. Many husbands and wives put the expectation of perfection on each other. We expect our children to be perfect. We have bosses who make us believe that if we are not perfect, we are failing. And yet, not a single one of us can ever achieve perfection. I wanted to end this "perfect" Happy Friday by sharing a few quotes about striving for perfection.
"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."
- Harriet B. Braiker
"Don't waste your time striving for perfection; instead, strive for excellence - doing your best." - Laurence Olivier
"There's no such thing as perfection. But, in striving for perfection, we can achieve excellence." - Vince Lombardi
"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business." - Michael J. Fox
And, hoping that we have now understood the difference between perfection and excellence, I wanted to share this quote which I absolutely love:
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude." - Colin Powell
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please, cherish your precious families.
Kev
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