Priorities

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

This week I want to share about priorities. The topic has come up a couple of different times in my life this past week. I love when this happens. It leads me to search - in both prayer and gaining knowledge - to better understand it, thoughtfully consider it and it challenges me to actually live out what I learn.

I came across a quote this morning that I think does a great job of determining how we prioritize things. The quote, by Dallin H. Oaks, says: "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions." A great look at how priorities are established and how they then dictate the lives we live. Before taking a quick look at priorities, personally & professionally, I have to tell you, that word at the beginning - "desires" - really struck me. We all have different desires, or perhaps you prefer the word passions. And in this, I think we find the beauty of life. We all have different desires, things that call out to us to pursue them from the depths of our souls. It is when we actually choose to answer the call, to act upon them, that we live lives of complete integrity, that we become all that we are created to become. Your desires are unique to you just as mine are unique to me. Yours aren't better than mine and mine aren't better than yours. Each of us, in fact all of us, have these desires to help us find our purpose, the perfectly equipped reason we have been called to walk this life journey! :)

O.K., I want to break this down two separate ways real quick.
1. Professionally. I had breakfast earlier this week with a friend and we spent a lot of time talking about priorities within the workplace. The key to success in determining and walking out our priorities in our vocation is to first determine what are the things that only we can do. We talked a lot about Stephen Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If we can identify those things that only we can do - I also refer to this as the core responsibilities of our jobs - we can then set priorities accordingly. In doing so, we can then determine the things to do and not to do. 

A former colleague, when I asked her "How are you today?", she replied, "I am effectively busy." I love that! All of us are busy...that doesn't mean we are being effective. There are countless "priorities" clamoring for our attention. It is when we identify the one's that are our real priorities that we can be effectively busy.

2. Personally. I have spent a ton of time thinking about this one this week. I have a sweet friend who is passionate about her family and she is passionate about her work. Because of many of the challenges she has faced in her life as a result of answering the call of these passions - among others - she also has a great heart to encourage, empower and equip other working Mom's. The struggles she has faced has led me to really study and pray about priorities. What does "priorities" really mean? How do we determine them? What does it look like when we walk them out? How come so many people feel the need to try to determine someone else's priorities? Why can't we all simply pursue the deepest passions of our souls without the nagging criticisms of others?

I came across a couple of quotes this morning that spoke to my heart.

"Jesus does not respond to our worry-filled way of living by saying that we should not be so busy with worldly affairs. He does not try to pull us away from the many events, activities, and people that make up our lives...He asks us to shift the point of gravity, to relocate the center of our attention, to change our priorities. Jesus does not speak about a change of activities, a change in contacts, or even a change of pace. He speaks about a change of heart." - Henri Nouwen

"It is a better thing to weigh and measure priorities in the illuminating light of your own mission that to have your activities formed by the impressions and expectations of others." - Mary Anne Radmacher

O.K. Friends, as the saying goes, "I think we are cookin with grease now!" :)

The heart. It is always about the heart - that one is Biblical! Why are we doing the things we are doing? What is the condition of the heart? It is not how much we do or don't do. It is not about the particular vocation. It is not about how many friends or events you have or don't have. It's about the heart. Why are you and I doing the things we are doing? Is whatever we are doing - professionally or personally - being done to serve ourselves or to serve others? Are we doing it to fill some hole in our heart, to create our identity, or are we doing it because of who we are, from an overflow of our hearts. That one right there was good Friends! :) It is not about work or family, family or work...it is about the condition of the heart in doing whatever we do. It is our why.

You were created on purpose for a purpose for which you are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing. It's your mission, not mine! Live it! I have no idea what God has placed on your heart, I just know that He has placed something there. Follow it... unapologetically! There are sure to be critics...there are always critics. They don't define you! What if we all simply walked our life journey to the very best of our ability, seeking God's leadership & guidance daily? What would this world look like then?

A couple of more thoughts as I wrap this up...
I think the younger Kev often got confused between priorities and recognizing needs. Is it possible to be a great [fill in the vocation] and also be a great husband and father? Absolutely! It is not an either or proposition...it's about the "and." It all comes back to the heart - why we do what we do - and fulfilling the tasks that only we can fulfill. My mind races back many years ago. I was a college football coach...a profession that chews up a lot of time. My Beautiful Bride used to lament from time to time that football was more important to me than my family. We were expecting our 2nd child. It was a night practice. I can still see the Rec Center that night. I am with the wide receivers at the far end of the Center. One of the trainers comes sprinting towards me. As he is still a ways off he yells, "Coach, your wife needs you!" I didn't turn and say a word to anyone. I sprinted out of the Rec Center, got into my car and drove home as quickly as I could. We had experienced the loss of our child, a miscarriage. You see, this wasn't about priorities. Kath, and our family, has always been my number one priority...this was the condition of my heart. But in that moment, though a football coach with players and coaches looking to me for leadership & guidance, the thing that only I could do, the greatest need, was to be with my wife. Let's be sure not to confuse priorities with needs.

Instead of criticizing others, judging them, telling them what they should or should not do, let's encourage, empower and equip them as they fulfill their life mission. Let's not throw up roadblocks and do things that make it difficult for them to pursue whatever is calling to them from the depths of their souls. You see, the call will never stop. If we don't help them we will soon find that we are no longer in a position to help or hurt them because, sooner or later, they will not allow us to be a part of their life. 

Finally, I want to provide the gentle reminder that God is a God of conviction, not condemnation...there is a huge difference. Conviction inspires, encourages and leads us in a positive direction. Condemnation tears down, accuses, makes us feel guilty. If the spirit you feel is accusing you of failing, is telling you how inadequate you are, you can be assured that it is not the spirit of God. 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev