Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious day from my Sweet Home Alabama!
I absolutely love being a Dad. Next to being the husband to my Beautiful Bride, it is the greatest honor & privilege I have. My life completely changed when my first son was born, it was profound. In that moment, when he took his first breath, I stood in awe of him and his Mom. Today, 23 years after that initial moment of awe, I am still awed by her and I am awed by the 3 Tender Warriors I am blessed to have call me "Dad."
It's funny, each one of my boys has taught me so much more than I could ever teach them and they bless me more than I could ever explain to you. And it is not anything that they say or do, I am truly touched by their presence. I just genuinely enjoy being with them...
So two weeks I had one of "those" days. It was, as I explained to my boss when we talked on the phone as I drove home, "a Monday on a Friday." I was hurrying home to get a quick workout in, shower and head to a work event. As I was changing, telling Kath all about my crazy day, I heard Landry call out, "Mom." It was a panicked voice. I really thought he was seriously injured. I know I had not heard that voice before. I ran toward his room. As I rounded the corner I see Landry with a terrified look on his face, his hands buried in the bathroom sink and I hear this constant hissing sound...of a spray paint can! He is covered in white paint, as is the counter in the bathroom, the mirror, the wood floors in the hallway, the wood floors in his bedroom, the comforter....
Did I mention that we just moved into our brand new house about 7 weeks ago? If you are chuckling right now...STOP IT! And if your mouth is agape...EXACTLY! So needless to say, Kath & I were not real happy in this moment. And if you are wondering what in the world he was doing with a spray paint can in our house - did I mention it is brand new?!?! - well, that is a great question!
In this moment of shock, having had a tough day and needing to be out the door in about 45 minutes, I called a real brief family meeting. I explained that emotions were high for everyone, that nothing we would say to each other in this moment would be beneficial and that we would talk about it later. I then went out for a walk. Please know, I know to the depths of my soul that it was the countless hours of Bible study, prayer and asking God every single day to lead me that created that moment.
As I was on my walk, replaying over and over everything that had just happened, I had a deep conviction in my Spirit. You see, after the moment had passed when I had seen the look of terror on Landry's face, as I tried to get the lid on the paint can, I looked over my shoulder at my boy and I saw a look of complete brokenness. His spirit was broken. He knew he had screwed up big time. He knows the house is new and, of course, he did not mean to do what he had done. He had damaged something that was important to his Mom & Dad and if he could, he would take it all back. Ever been there? Yeah, me too. So as I was walking I had this deep conviction in my spirit to call him and tell him I love him, so I did. When he answered the phone I could hear him trying to hold back the tears. I could hear the brokenness. I said, "Landry, yes I am upset about what happened but what I need you to know more than anything else in this moment is that I love you. You are far more important to me than any house. We will do whatever we have to do to fix it, don't worry about that. Please just know, I love you more than anything else." And that was it. We all survived that night and made the very best we could out of it...in fact, before the evening was over, we laughed about it. And by the way, we are so very blessed beyond measure! Because our house is brand new, we called our builder who put us in touch with the painter. The painter came over and was able to clean every last drop of paint off.
A Few Thoughts:
1. Friends, we all screw up. We all do things we wish we would have not done and would take back in a moment if we could. I pray we will all thoughtfully think through our words and actions when moments come when something goes wrong. As I told my Beautiful Bride as we were talking through this, I don't know if we can get the paint off or if we will have to replace everything however I do know that the words we speak to this boy at this moment can break his spirit for a lifetime. Please, your relationships are so much more valuable than your possessions...please honor them.
2. And along those lines, did you catch the last seven words of my story above? "Clean every last drop of paint off." If I had not told you this story and you came to my home, you would have no clue that this had happened. There are no marks. Now, if my wife and I had not been careful with our words - and please remember that the first reaction was to choose silence - there could be scars in the deepest recesses of the soul of this boy. You wouldn't see those either, on the outside. How many people walk around with scars from mistakes that happened 1 day ago, 1 year ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago...? Still beating themselves up, afraid to make a mistake, simply being alive trying not to get in trouble. How many relationships have been fractured, irreparably so, because of words in those moments? How many families have been destroyed? Oh Sweet Friends, I know it is not easy, trust me I know! But I am here to testify, with God's leading, guiding and direction, you can do it! I pray you will.
3. And I really need you to hear this part. As I was telling the story to a young colleague who has young kids about what had happened he made some comment about how impressed he was by how I responded. And when he said that all I could think of was all of the times I had failed miserably as a Dad, responding nothing like I did with the paint. I can't tell you the number of times I have sat in my living room just waiting for the boys to wake up so I could hug 'em, tell 'em Dad had screwed up and begging their forgiveness. So I told my young colleague, I had screwed this up so many times, this is how I learned to respond the way I responded. I am the farthest thing from perfect you will probably ever find, and I am completely fine with that. I know I need God and prayer. And while I know I am not perfect, I also know that I am fully committed to each of these boys and will be until the day I draw my final breath. I will never stop fighting for my relationship with each one of them, striving to be the Dad they need me to be. I will tell them when I screw up, I will ask for their forgiveness and then I will work to change. So, wherever you are on your journey I just want to encourage you to keep showing up, EVERY DAY! They don't need perfect, they simply need you to be there and to love them.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!
Kev
No comments:
Post a Comment