Choices

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having had a great day on this soggy Friday night in my Sweet Home Alabama!

This week I want to talk about choices. We all have them, and we all make them, every day. I am not here this evening to judge you, to ridicule you or to tell you that your choices, attitudes and/or behaviors are wrong. I am simply here to encourage you and to make us all aware that we are very powerful because we have the ability to choose...

The first choice I want to talk about is the things that we allow to be poured into our lives. Whether it is the things we read, listen to or see, they are shaping our thoughts which in turn directly impact our feelings and  emotions which in turn impact our attitudes and behaviors.
Please Sweet Friends, carefully consider the things that you will allow to be poured into your life. Learn? Grow? Be educated? Understand the circumstance/situation? Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely and absolutely! However there is a point where we have all of the information and it is time to turn off the flow. And when it comes to someone else's thoughts - just like these! - or opinions, we would be wise to inventory how they are impacting our lives. If, after allowing whatever it is to be poured into our lives, the outcome is negative - thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, behaviors, etc. - we would be wise to perhaps choose differently. Likewise, we would be wise to continue to pour things in that bring a positive result. Bottom line, you and I choose every day that things that we will allow to fill our well. And we know, what's in the well, always comes up in the bucket.

The second choice I want to encourage you to consider is your beliefs. It is none of my business so I will ask this question in rhetorical form; what do you believe? You see Sweet Friends, we can try to give the "right" answer or the "Sunday School" answer however we will always walk out what we actually believe. Let me share a couple of pieces of information with you - one from the spiritual world and one from the secular world.

Spiritual:
Billy Graham, in answering a question about what is more important, our beliefs or our behaviors responded in part (you can read this at billygraham.org):
"...because what we believe will influence how we live - no matter who we are. Let me explain.

Suppose, for example, you believed the only purpose of life was to have a good time. God wasn't important to you; you only cared about yourself and what was happening to you right now. Would this belief influence the way you lived? Of course.

The tragedy, however, is that eventually you'd find you were on a dead-end road. Not only would you never find lasting happiness, but one day you'd die and meet God - and then it would be too late. You'd discover your wrong beliefs betrayed you."

Secular:
The following excerpts are taken from 3 Ways Your Beliefs Can Shape Your Reality: You don't need quantum physics to understand the power of belief. It was written by Dr. Juliana Breines on August 30, 2015. You can find the article at psychologytoday.com.
"1. Your beliefs influence your behavior.
One of the most basic ways that beliefs can shape reality is through their influence on behavior.

2. Your beliefs influence other people's behavior.
Your beliefs can shape your reality not only be influencing your own behavior, but also by influencing other people's behavior, from close relationship partners to complete strangers.

3. Your beliefs may impact your health.
Research on the placebo effect also support the link between beliefs and health. Remarkably, the mere expectation that a treatment will be effective can sometimes make it so, even if that treatment is just a sugar pill."

Dr. Breines concludes her article with these two paragraphs:
"How can you harness the power of belief to improve your life? For one, you can engage in practices that change your habitual way of thinking, such as keeping a gratitude journal or learning mindfulness meditation. These practices can help you notice and appreciate the good in life and keep you from getting caught up in unconstructive, negative thoughts. Second, you can set clear intentions for how you want to approach each day and make an effort to align your behavior with those intentions. Even when things don't go your way, you'll know that you're moving in the right direction and using the leverage that you have.

And finally, you can recognize that while beliefs may be powerful, they are certainly not all-powerful, and life is full of suffering that we neither invite nor deserve. Recognizing the limitations in belief can make us more compassionate towards those who find themselves in unfortunate circumstances, including ourselves."

So, whether you want to look at the spiritual or secular, both line up with the idea that our beliefs determine our behaviors. We simply have to decide if the beliefs we hold true are leading to the quality of life we want to live. We will choose...

I also want to encourage us to think about our choices in 3 specific areas - Our thoughts, our words and our actions.

Our thoughts...
The battle is real. Our thoughts can run wild if we let them. You and I would be wise to choose which thoughts we will allow and which one's we will immediately dismiss. The decision is critically important as it will lead to the words we speak and the actions we take which will ultimately lead to the quality of the life we live. 

Our words...
Again, we get to choose. We love to say things like, "I couldn't help what I said! [Fill in the blank] made me so [fill in the emotion] I just had to say it." No, sorry Friend, you did not have to say it. You chose to say it. Again, spiritual teaching and the secular world align that there is great power in the words we choose to speak. And this is a two-way go - 1) there are the words we speak to ourselves, and 2) there are words we speak to others. As Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Yes, you and I are that powerful. Whether words spoken to our own soul or to the precious soul of another, they contain within them the power of life or death. Please, choose wisely.

Our actions...
Nobody makes you or I do anything...we choose to do things. And we love to act and do whatever we want, we are just not so good at the consequences part. I would love, absolutely love, to eat prime rib, chips & salsa and wash it all down with a Shiner Bock every night. I can if I choose to do so however I am not free from the consequences how that will affect my health. Silly example but you get the point. So how are you and I doing on this one? Are our daily actions leading to the quality of life we want to live? If not, we can change it. It is a choice.

Friends, we live in unprecedented times right now. We are going through the first pandemic in the social media era. There is more information, and misinformation, out there than you and I could ever read in our lifetimes. And, as is the case with any other challenge/issue, you and I have to make choices. Over and over again it is the same thing. What do we allow to be poured in? What do we believe? What are we thinking? What words are we speaking? What actions are we taking? These are all choices that are 100% ours alone to make...we must own it! Let's bring all of these things into line with the lives we want to live.

And I want to speak for a second about Dr. Breines' last paragraph. Please be compassionate. Somewhere along the line it has almost became sport in America to laugh at and make fun of others. Please don't. We all have different beliefs, experiences, knowledge, etc. and this all impacts the way we respond during challenging times. Instead of ridiculing someone who is struggling, try to understand that perhaps they don't have your beliefs, your faith, your experience, etc. Instead of ridiculing, reassure. Instead of making fun of, encourage. None of us have all the answers and we all have things that we are afraid of and fear. Be the person you wish you had when you went through something that was overwhelming you.

I also want to share several quotes about choices. 

"My your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." - Nelson Mandela

"Life is all about making choices. Always do your best to make the right ones, and always do your best to learn from the wrong ones." - Anonymous

"Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice." - Anonymous 

"I believe we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, every problem comes to break us or make us. The choice is ours whether we become victim or victor." - Anonymous

"Choices are the hinges of destiny." - Edwin Markham

"You can let things define you, destroy you, or strengthen you. It's your choice." - Anonymous

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." - Tony Robbins

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." - William Jennings Bryan

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J.K. Rowling

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev