Speak Life

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

I loved school when I was in elementary school! I don't remember any teachers names and I can't tell you a favorite subject. I thought it was the greatest thing that I got to spend all day with a bunch of other kids - I loved it for the social aspect. I wasn't a great student - the grades were not important to me, the people were. And in terms of doing school work, I remember a lot of putting off work until the last possible moment - I was too busy playing with my friends - and then turning in sloppy, rushed work.

Several years ago my precious family and I were at my Mom's house going through some boxes of old stuff Mom had saved. We came across a report card of mine from elementary school - I don't remember specifically what grade it was however something tells me it was 3rd or 4th grade. The teacher had written on the report card, "Kevin will never be a very good reader." I was shocked to see it and my boys started laughing. I am an avid reader.

As I thought about this Happy Friday last night, I wondered what would have happened if I had actually known what my teacher had written. I would like to tell you that it wouldn't have mattered however something tells me that those words could have spoken deeply to the heart of a little boy who genuinely loved school, even if not for the reason my teacher would have hoped. Would those words of death hovered over my life? I will never know because I had a Mom who 1) loved me unconditionally, 2) always told me that I was as smart as anyone else, it might just take me a little longer to do my school work than others, and 3) never told me what my teacher had written.

In the spring semester of what was my sophomore year of college, I was taking an English class at a Junior College. I was still slumbering through the education process. The teacher assigned a research paper to the class. I can't remember the teachers name, unfortunately, or the exact length of the paper. At the end of the class, the teacher asked if he could see me for a moment. When I went to see him he told me he didn't want me to write a research paper on what had been assigned to the class but rather he wanted me to write my research paper on the University of Arizona men's basketball team that had just gone to the NCAA Final Four. And with that one simple request the research paper went from something I had to write - 5 pages?! That is so long! Use bigger font, increase line spacing, narrow the margins - to a paper I got to write - 5 pages?! How can I fit all of this into only 5 pages? Smallest font possible, single space everything and widen the margins. :)

A wise teacher, who took the time to know his students, had lit a fire. What I have learned as I reflect back on that time is that I didn't have a learning problem and I wasn't lazy, I had a motivational problem. I wasn't interested in the things that others had told me to write about. Instead of telling me to write about what the teacher wanted me to write about, he told me to write about what he thought I wanted to write about. It changed everything.

I remember the first time my teammates at the school I transferred to after leaving that junior college told me that I was smart and a good student. I can't remember the exact context or what made them come to this conclusion however I distinctly remember thinking, "What?!?! Clearly they don't know me!" But they were serious. And as different things would happen and they would say things about what a good student I was or how smart I was I started acting like a good student and I believed in myself...I didn't want to disappoint them. I wanted to be who they told me I was. And from that very first semester, with these incredible encouragers, I never got anything less than an A- all the way through my Masters degree.

The words we speak into the lives of others matter. We get frustrated with each other and then, in an emotional moment, we speak words that cause great harm. I pray we will choose a different path.

Having been around college kids the vast majority of my career, I have found that the problem for most is one of motivation, not intellect or laziness. What we all need, more than anything else, is someone who will take the time to get to know us, to learn about the things we are passionate about and then encourage us to pursue that thing - whatever it is - with everything that is within us.

Please, if you have the honor and privilege of being around young people - be it a son or daughter, a student, an athlete, etc. - please speak life into their lives. No, they might not respond this time - that might not be your place in their story. However perhaps your role is to simply shepherd them on to the next person until they finally hit that moment where the spark flies and the fire is ignited. While you might not be the match that lights the fire, you do have a choice to be the wood that allows that fire to get started.

The words you and I speak matter. The Bible tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Which are you and I speaking? We will leave every single soul we interact with better or worse...which will we choose? 

As I reflect back on these few moments I share with you, I get kind of emotional. What if I knew what the teacher said? How come an English teacher took the time to know me and to care enough to have me do a completely different assignment than everyone else? What did my teammates see that nobody else, mostly me, had never seen before? I don't know the answer to any of these questions however as I look at foundational moments, the moments that are most directly responsible for who I am today, I see these moments with great clarity.

And with the clarity I see the moments, I had these quotes come to me that I am to share with you this morning...

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." - G. M. Trevelyan

"Every child needs a champion." - Attributed to multiple people

"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be and he will become what he should be." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay healthy and well.

Kev