Uncertainty & Leadership

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

I have been reading a book I absolutely love and offer my highest possible recommendation - love Kindness by Barry H. Corey. I can't wait to read the next chapter of this book every day and I don't want it to end. It is so powerful and it challenges me greatly. I absolutely love it.

Earlier this week I read a chapter that spoke deeply to my heart. I want to share a few excerpts and then I will share a few thoughts. What I am sharing comes from Chapter 2. I hope these words speak to your heart as deeply as they have spoken to mine. :)

"Lost to many readers of Hebrews 11, however, are ten inconspicuous words. Abraham obeyed and went, "even though he did not know where he was going" (verse 8). Read: Uncertainty.

This is among the most honest but glossed-over lines in the sacred Scriptures. Even though Abraham obeyed God and went, the writer of Hebrews says Abraham didn't have a clue about the journey ahead. And he owned up to the fact that he didn't.

Stop and ponder that for a moment. This isn't just Abraham's line. It's your line. It's my line.

Who hasn't been there, the place where life is so uncertain we don't know where we're going? We don't know what's next? And we want to hide behind the facade that we do know where we're going, that we're certain about life. Or we want to turn around and go back to where life is safe and familiar."

"And the truth is, I cried not just because I was sad, but because I was scared. Sure, I'd been disguising it behind half-feigned stories of adventure on the journey and heartstringed lines about fathers and sons and the trip of a lifetime. But the fear was real.

What troubled Anders and me was not the loss of the life we'd left behind but the uncertainty of the unknown life to come. For some, uncertainties are opiates: the more the unknown, the bigger the thrill. Not for me. Not for my son. And not for most."

"We think the antidote to uncertainty is certainty. It's not."

"The cross-country problem for me became this: If the antidote to uncertainty is not certainty, then what is it? How do we, the people of God who are living in uncertainty, respond if certainty is never an option?

Here is what I have discovered and what I am still figuring out. The antidote to uncertainty is not certainty. It's confidence.

In God's metanarrative of grace, there is world of difference between certainty and confidence. Certainty means I know what will happen next, and I don't. I might have an idea and make my plans accordingly, but the truth is I really do not know what is coming next. Some seasons of my life I'm even more aware of these uncertainties than others.

But confidence means I trust what will happen next. The word confidence, con plus fides, means "with faith." We journey by faith and not by sight."

This section of the book spoke so deeply to my heart! Two things were profound to me:

1. Hearing Barry described his uncertainty, was so...powerful. In that moment I felt this deep sense of connection to him, though I have never met him. All of the sudden, I felt that I was not alone. I could completely relate to the conversation he was having with his son, the heaviness of the moment, the very real uncertainty, and yes, the very real fear. At once it was so affirming. I am not alone. I am not the only one who has felt these things. It was raw, it was real, and I could complete relate to him.

And by the way, one of the real key points Barry makes throughout his book is that it is this, being fully open and transparent about our struggles, that opens the door to loving-kindness. We try so hard to put on the facades he talks about...to make it look like we have it all together. Yet, it is our weaknesses, challenges, struggles...whatever you want to call 'em, that make us most relateable to others. Powerful!

2. Confidence - con plus fides, "with faith." Yes! This is what I, and perhaps you, have been looking for in these moments of despair. I thought I wanted certainty. I gravitate towards the familiar. I work so hard to try to create the comfortable and yet, the real antidote to uncertainty is confidence. Not in ourselves or our abilities but in God, the one we can trust. The shift in perspective, at least for me, changes everything.

And it strikes me as profound, that while Barry talks about the ten words of Hebrews 11: 8 - "even though he did not know where he was going" - the entire scripture starts with, "By faith." Not with certainty. Not with no doubt or without question. No, the scripture starts with "By faith." With confidence, when called, Abraham obeyed and went, "even though he did not know where he was going."

I also want to talk, for just a moment, about leadership. Earlier this week, when visiting with my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, I made the statement, "I wish there was someone who had told me this when I was your age." We then had a wonderful conversation about leadership. Well, I want to put this out there in case some young leader needs to hear these words.

As John C. Maxwell says in his book, The Leader's Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders, "In the end, the only way for any person to learn leadership is to lead." To you this is, perhaps, not profound. To me? It is...everything!

I was a Head Baseball Coach at the college level at 21-years old. I was a Head Football Coach at 28-years old. And I was an Athletic Director at 32-years old. And each step of the way I didn't want to be the leader. In my mind I always wanted to be the #2 person. I wanted to have someone to watch and learn from so I could learn leadership. Now you are seeing why this quote is so powerful for me.

To learn leadership, lead. If you have been put in a position to lead others, have confidence - with faith - and trust that everything is going to work out. Yes, you will stub your toe...that's o.k., so long as you learn and grow. Don't push back against the opportunity before you but rather embrace your journey.

And I want to point out that this is not just about leadership...it is about anything we do. Maybe your not called to be a leader but you are called to be a writer, a singer, a musician, a craftsman. The same principle applies: you learn by doing. Further in his book, John sights a study done by Anders Ericsson and two colleagues on the power of practice over talent. They studied violinists. It is noted that the biographies of the violinists were very similar - when they began to practice, when they decided to become musicians, how many teachers they had, etc. It was all eerily similar. What separated those who taught music, those who had careers with the world's best orchestras, and those who had careers as international star soloists? Practice. To learn leadership, lead.

Quoting Maxwell, "By age twenty, the bottom group had practiced four thousand fewer hours than the middle group, and the middle group had practiced two thousand fewer hours than the top group, which had practiced ten thousand hours."

To learn leadership, or anything else, do it. Don't push back against these affinities or opportunities but rather, embrace them. It is the only way to learn.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

What Do You See?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious day in my Sweet Home Alabama! We have the day off at work for Winter Break - appropriate in that our school was closed down this week because of two winter storms! :) - so I have the luxury of writing Happy Friday mid-morning after my quiet time, a good workout, and some time with my family. So very blessed and grateful! :)

This week I intended to share my notes from our sermon last Sunday...I still plan to do so however as I have thought and prayed about this Happy Friday, something kept convicting my spirit. Several years ago God really placed a burden on my heart. When conflict comes, what do you see? When you have an issue with someone, what do you see? Out of this was born a sign that still sits on my desk, right next to my phone, to this day. The sign has a mirror, about 1" x 1", on it and next to it is written this scripture:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:3 - 5

Over the top of the scripture is a piece of glass. And across the top of the sign is written, "What Do You See?" This sign, to me, is a reminder when things go wrong; am I going to look into the mirror and see what I could do better/different or am I going to look out the window and find fault in others. When I have a problem or a conflict with anyone, I have developed the discipline of asking God to reveal to me where I could have said or done something different. I ask Him to shine a light on my heart - are my motives pure? Am I speaking truth? In love? And when I pray, I do not pray that the person will see things my way or do what I want them to do. No, when I pray, I pray for the relationship. That I would care more about the relationship than an offense. That I would do everything I can to make the relationship the very best I can. I fully realize that relationships consist of at least two people and I alone cannot make a relationship good or bad however I also realize that I only control and am responsible for one person...me. And in all this time of choosing to look in the mirror, I have never found that I got everything so cleaned up in what I was saying and doing that I could now look out the window and help a brother or sister pull a plank out of their eye. I was still too busy trying to clean up my junk, the parts of the problem that I was responsible for.

So, pretty simply, I want to ask you, what do you see? As you look at your life, your family, your career, your community, our society, and this world, are you looking out the window at what someone else could or should be doing or are you looking in the mirror at what you could be doing better? I want to challenge us all to look in the mirror. If we all worked on cleaning up our junk, this world would be a lot better place. Looking out the window is not only lazy, it is highly unproductive. If you don't believe me, please just look at our world right now. There is a whole lot of blaming going on and not a whole lot of people standing up saying, "I can, and will, do better." No, a whole lot of folks, perhaps most, are terribly busy trying to pull the plank out of someone else's eye, all the while theirs are filling up with sawdust.

I would now like to share with you my notes from our sermon last week. Our Pastor, Steve Huskey, has been preaching a series he titled, "Vogue." What we have been studying is what is vogue for Christ followers? As a follower of Jesus Christ, what should we wear? It has been a great series! And then last week he threw us a curveball; instead of talking about what we should put on, he talked about what we need to take off. This sermon was so good! For the rest of this Happy Friday, I am simply going to share the notes I wrote down.

Live a life that honors God.

It is time that what is on the inside shows up on the outside.

4 Mistakes We Make:

1. The Dress of Deception

- Stop telling lies

- Satan is the Father of Lies/God is Truth = Who is your Daddy?

- We are the least like Christ when we lie.

- Speak the truth in love - we should be helping people when speaking the truth, not wounding them.

2. The Apparel of Anger

- Eph. 4:26 - Don't sin by letting anger control you. Anger gives a foothold to the devil.

- Proverbs 29:11 - The wise hold it back

- Proverbs 14:17 - Short-tempered people do foolish things.

- You are a Christ follow first

- There is a place for anger and rage...we should be angry when people are taken advantage of

- Anger should lead to helping people, not hurting them

3. The Robe of Robbery

- Eph. 4:28 - If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good, hard work and then give generously to others.

- Don't make it about you...serve others.

- How do we help others?

4. The Clothing of Corrupt Communication

- Eph. 4:29 - Don't use foul or abusive language

- Vulgarity is not a reflection of the words you use but the heart you have

Other notes....

- Don't be angry, but if you are going to be angry, be angry about the right things.

- You need to be who God called you to be

- Use your words to give life

- Be functional - dress for your calling

- We dress to impress...we need to dress to bless

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev

You ARE A Leader

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds y'all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This one right here is gonna be a great one...I can feel it! :) We have such an incredible opportunity in front of us - this untouched day! It is so full of potential - let's empty it of every ounce so that when we lay our heads on the pillow tonight we know to the depths of our souls that we have given everything we have to give to this day!

You ARE a leader! Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you do vocationally, whatever your title(s)...you ARE a leader.

The following is an excerpt from an article posted at forbes.com on October 16, 2017. It is titled, What Is Your Impact? and it was written by Erin Urban.

"Does impact exist?

I can assure you, most emphatically, that you have more impact than you realize. We all do. Tim Elmore says: "Sociologists tell us the most introverted of people will influence 10,000 others in an average lifetime." Imagine how many people you have knowingly and unknowingly influenced in your life so far.

Every person you come in contact with is impacted in some way. For example, if you hold the door open for someone, that has an impact. Whether or not they say "thank you" impacts you. You feel satisfaction if they acknowledge you and disgruntlement if they don't. If you compliment a co-worker on their performance, you have an impact on that person. If you criticize another person, you have also impacted them.

How you have conducted yourself during these interchanges will shape how you influenced that person's response. As you can see, impact can go in two different directions: negative or positive."

Erin uses the word "impact"...leadership expert John C. Maxwell uses the word "influence" defining leadership this way, "Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less." Either way, you ARE a leader, you simply have to decide what your impact/influence will be.

A couple of quick points before we go on:

1. The article states that the most introverted person will influence 10,000 others in an average lifetime. That is the most introverted person. Did you know that other research has shown that the average person will influence 80,000 people during their lifetime? Please let the weight of these numbers sink in. If you are the most introverted person your influence has quickly spread to tens of thousands, perhaps millions, in very short order. You ARE a leader.

2. A great young Tender Warrior that I work with shared some thoughts from a devotional with our team last week. He shared a quote with us, "The most influential person in your life is you." Read that again, please. Say you are not the most introverted person but rather a hermit. You live alone, not interacting with anyone, ever! You are still influencing you with your thoughts and words. You ARE a leader.

So the challenge, Friends, is what are we doing with our leadership? Are we being intentional or are we leaving it to chance? Are we trying to learn, grow, and become all we are capable of becoming or are we simply drifting through life? Is our leadership positive or negative? You ARE a leader...what is your leadership producing? Are people better for having interacted with you or are they worse? 

This morning I want to encourage us all to take our leadership seriously and, as with every potential we have within us, work tirelessly to become all that we are capable of becoming in our leadership. Please don't compare yourself to others - their journey is not yours and yours is not theirs. Please simply work every day to become all that you were created to become. Do whatever works for you to learn, to grow - read a book, listen to a podcast, find a mentor. It doesn't matter how you learn best, it simply matters that you learn. It is so critically important, Friends...you ARE a leader and 10's of thousands will be influenced by your leadership.

To encourage, and hopefully empower you, on this journey, I want to share a few notes I took when listening to a podcast by Chad Veach. The podcast is titled, Leadership Lean In with Chad Veach and this particular podcast was titled Requirements for Leadership: what it takes to be a leader and how to step into your full potential. 

"When the leader gets better, everyone gets better."

"The more responsibility I have the less rights I have"

He then listed what he refers to as the 6 requirements of leadership. I will list them and the notes I took with each.

1. Reproach - you must be above reproach. You can't be sketchy. You must have impeccable character and integrity.

2. Respected - put some respect on your name. If you want respect, respect others. Live a life worthy of respect.

3. Responsible with money. Money is a reflection of stewardship. Every leader should be good at earning, saving, and giving money.

4. Really great at home. Lead your heart first, your home second and your performance third. You can't have your home in chaos and your life in order. Serving God in Africa is not a hard mission trip; serving God in your home is a hard mission trip.

5. Recommended by others because of your proven character. Your name either opens or closes doors for you. Nobody creates the narrative of your reputation more than you.

6. Repentful - ability to show remorse or sorrow for the mistakes you make. Great leaders own their mistakes. You are not great because you never make a mistake, you are great because you own the mistakes you make.

Now, clearly he created this list for those in "formal" leadership positions however there is so much good we can glean for our leadership in whatever walk of life we are in. Regardless, the point is to intentionally learn. You ARE a leader!

Knowing that somewhere between 10 - 80,000 people are counting on you and me - go ahead, take a deep breath and read that again! - I want to share a few quotes to help us learn and thrive:

"Great leadership usually starts with a willing heart, a positive attitude, and a desire to make a difference." - Mac Anderson

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly." - Jim Rohn

"Leadership is not so much about technique and methods as it is about opening the heart. Leadership is about inspiration - of oneself and of others. Great leadership is about human experiences, not processes. Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the heart of others. It is an attitude, not a routine." - Lance Secretan

Bottom line Friends; You ARE a leader! What Will Your Influence Be...?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 

Kev

Do Your Good

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I also hope y'all have had a great week - personally and professionally! :)

Last Saturday morning I woke up and my heart hurt and my spirit was troubled. Friday night my Beautiful Bride, my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, and I had watched a movie. In the movie there is a family who lives next door to the main character of the movie and they have two teenage kids - a boy and a girl. The kids are good kids and want to do good. They all live, however, in an area where gangs are prevalent. The boy is not interested in the gangs and wants nothing to do with them. He gets harassed, beat up, etc., all because he is trying to do the right things, all because he doesn't want to be a part of the gang.

So as I sat here in my morning quiet time I became very troubled as I reflected on the movie. While the movie was fictional, what was depicted in it was very real for countless boys and girls, young men and young women, all across the world. And I thought about this, Happy Friday, and all of the messages I share on social media every day. I truly believe the things I share in Happy Friday, I learn and grow from the things I share on social media - and I hope others do as well, however I was struck by the reality that a lot of the things that I write about don't apply to everyone. There are young people across the world who are trying, desperately, to do the right thing, to make the right choices, to live their lives in a different manner...and as in the movie, evil chases them down. They are minding their own business, they are doing their best, and they are just hoping to make it through the day without someone trying to impose their will on them, to make them choose different. And while you and I have a choice, countless young men and women don't.

My heart sank as this reality slapped me in the face. I felt like a fake, like an impostor. The messages I write on Happy Friday, while I believe they are God inspired and I believe them to the depths of my sole, they don't necessarily apply to everyone. They apply to people like me. They apply to people who live in areas where they really are free to choose whatever they want for that day, without fear of 5 or 6 people rolling by my house in a car, chasing me down, trying to make me do what they want me to do. I can't even imagine what that would be like! I felt so...helpless. My heart broke thinking of the young men and women who are living that reality...EVERY DAY!

As I sat here I prayed that God would give me understanding, that He would help me make sense of all of this. When Kath and Landry got up I spoke with them about, asking them to pray for clarity in all of this. As I worked out on Saturday this issue monopolized my thoughts. On Sunday I spoke with my oldest son, Payton, about it, asking him to think and pray about it, asking for his thoughts. This whole thing was really bothering me, my heart was so heavy.

Later on Saturday my Sweet Girl, after validating my thoughts and feelings, stated she believes we are called to do the best we can where we are. There were two great revelations in speaking with Payton; 1) we were being slapped in the face with what privilege looks like, and 2) he pointed out that perhaps I am minimizing the influence we all have. It is not just about what you or I say or do, it is about the people that are influenced by the things we say and do, and then the people they influence by the things they say and do, and so on. While my words and actions might not directly impact the lives of the young men and women I am talking about, those 5 or 6 people down the line from my influence very well might be reaching those very people. Made sense...

After a week of prayer, thoughtful reflection, and insight from my precious family, I have come to two key conclusions:

1. We are all called to do the very best we can, with what we have, where we are. God did not place me in the inner city to work with the young men and women I speak of here. He has placed me, and you, where we are for a reason. I don't know why, I just fully plan to honor it every day of my life. While I can't help everyone, He has certainly placed me here to help someone. And the same for you, Friend.

2. My heart has now been awakened to this reality and I cannot change it. I have deep compassion and empathy for those whose lives are much different from mine. God has placed a burden on my heart and I will pray for these young people and those who are desperately trying to help them. My eyes and ears have been opened and I will be alert for opportunities to pour into ministries and services that serve these precious souls. This experience has changed me forever and I fully intend to lean into it. I will not let the lesson be wasted...

As I was gaining clarity throughout this week, two quotes/stories came to mind:

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world." - Desmond Tutu

"Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good Morning! What are you doing?" The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely, then bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one." - Adapted from the Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley

Friends, the things you and I say and do matter. No, we are not going to make a difference in every life, however, we will make a difference in some lives. I believe we are called to use our gifts and abilities to love, care for, and serve others to the very best of our ability. Doing this we have fulfilled our purpose and God will take care of the rest.

I want to share a few quotes I came across that spoke to my heart:

"It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire." - St. Catherine of Siena

"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." - Edward Everett Hale

"Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person." - R. Buckminster Fuller

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev